Dealing with people who never listen to anyone else

Have you ever dealt with someone close to you—someone you thought you knew inside and out—where you just hit this wall? Like, no matter how much history there is, you eventually realize they don't actually give a damn about your opinion...

I mean, I’m pretty sure everyone here has been there at some point. So, how do you handle it? Do you actually sit them down and try to talk it out, or do you just let it slide and ignore it? Or does it hurt enough that you just stop caring about clearing the air altogether?

Anyway, I know I'm throwing a lot of questions at you all at once, but just answer however you feel is best. Just stick to the topic... 🙂

And there is quite clearly a specific reason why your opinion isn't carrying the weight you seem to think it should.
If you aren't consistent with the stances you take, then well, it’s just simple math.
If you don't actually mean what you say, it’s the same old story. You might have an opinion, sure, but nobody is going to take it seriously. When opinions exist just for the sake of existing—without any practical purpose or real-world utility—they tend to get ignored.
So, there are more facts to consider here.
If you're truly trying to tackle a problem like this, you need to start with your own convictions. Re-evaluate them. Are they built on a foundation of facts that are easily verifiable and undeniably true?
That is the only way you can truly stand behind yourself, and behind everything you say.
Otherwise, you're just spinning your wheels. You attempt to engage in a debate without even being certain what your ultimate goal is. Is it to prove you're right—which might not even be the truth—or to prove that your "objective" view actually has some substance?
But, there is another side to this that you simply must consider, because let's face it, we are rarely right about everything. There is always something new to learn, whether we end up being correct or not.
True confidence comes from verified knowledge. If it doesn't, then we're just fooling ourselves with a lack of confidence, which eventually poisons the well of our communication in general.

I’m right there with Blue Jays. Honestly, they nailed it in 🙂

Look, on the flip side—and I say this as someone who's been down this road—maybe you're just hanging out with someone who doesn't actually give a damn about what you think. It's a thing. If we're the ones messing up, then obviously other people are going to trip up too. Maybe you just don't have enough in common, and the stuff you're passionate about just sounds like white noise to them. There are a million "maybes" floating around here.

My advice? Just try to be more open and brutally honest when you're dealing with people. It’s really the simplest way to figure out if things are actually fine or if you need to sit down and fix what's broken. Sure, you might end up pushing someone away by being real, but let's face it—you aren't going to please everyone, no matter how hard you try.

You’re totally misreading the situation... this isn't some deep dive into self-confidence, self-awareness, or being too chicken to speak your mind...

For instance: Person A and Person B are just talking, right? Then Person A says something, and Person B completely disagrees. Instead of debating it, everything just goes dead quiet and the conversation hits a wall. j

So, I guess my question for you guys is... where do you actually draw the line when it comes to dealing with someone who just refuses to respect your perspective?

Look, if you realize a certain group of people just isn't your vibe anymore, you don't need to make a huge scene—you just drift away. Slowly. Find your own tribe, find people who actually get you. It’s really not that deep.

Honestly, it feels a little weird seeing the conversation just die out like this. Maybe the person didn't know how to respond to the topic—sometimes you just freeze up when things get awkward, right? I'm just guessing here, though, because I have zero clue what you guys were actually talking about or even who this person is. Was this just a one-off thing, or is this some kind of recurring pattern? I'm going to need a bit more context before I can give you any decent advice 🙂

Karen Garcia6 said:You’re totally misreading the situation... this isn't some deep dive into self-confidence, self-awareness, or being too chicken to speak your mind...

For instance: Person A and Person B are just talking, right? Then Person A says something, and Person B completely disagrees. Instead of debating it, everything just goes dead quiet and the conversation hits a wall. j

So, I guess my question for you guys is... where do you actually draw the line when it comes to dealing with someone who just refuses to respect your perspective?

Fine! Just swap out the roles—reassign the actors, you know?—and simply remove yourself from the equation entirely.
The fundamental solution to the problem remains exactly the same, doesn't it?☕

Karen Garcia6 said:Have you ever dealt with someone close to you—someone you thought you knew inside and out—where you just hit this wall? Like, no matter how much history there is, you eventually realize they don't actually give a damn about your opinion...

I mean, I’m pretty sure everyone here has been there at some point. So, how do you handle it? Do you actually sit them down and try to talk it out, or do you just let it slide and ignore it? Or does it hurt enough that you just stop caring about clearing the air altogether?

Anyway, I know I'm throwing a lot of questions at you all at once, but just answer however you feel is best. Just stick to the topic... 🙂

It would hurt my feelings, so I would likely sit down and talk it through with them. 😳

Karen Garcia6 said:You’re totally misreading the situation... this isn't some deep dive into self-confidence, self-awareness, or being too chicken to speak your mind...

For instance: Person A and Person B are just talking, right? Then Person A says something, and Person B completely disagrees. Instead of debating it, everything just goes dead quiet and the conversation hits a wall. j

So, I guess my question for you guys is... where do you actually draw the line when it comes to dealing with someone who just refuses to respect your perspective?

But wait, let me flip the script on you for a second. Are *you* actually respecting their side? Like, if you're standing there insisting the sky is blue and they're dead set on saying it's yellow, are you actually willing to sit back and consider their logic? Or do you just get all huffy and shut down because they aren't nodding along with everything you say?

I recently attended an interactive theater production featuring two female doctors as the leads—one in her seventies and the other middle-aged. The central theme was romantic relationships. Now, while I genuinely enjoy listening to both of them whenever the opportunity arises, their conflicting perspectives on this specific subject were handled poorly due to the limited timeframe—it simply wasn't constructive. I found the entire experience to be a complete failure, precisely because of that lack of depth. And what happened next? During the following performance, I was actually pulled from the audience and characterized as nothing less than a hater—specifically targeting the older lady and everything she had to say. In an attempt to add "drama" to the script, the director introduced a character—a sort of young, arrogant Neanderthal type (forgive me, I can't help my descriptions)—who essentially lectured me from a position of superiority about how I should behave...🙂Once he realized how absurd his posturing actually was, he softened his tone somewhat. So, the question remains: do I respect my elders? Of course—always, provided they conduct themselves with basic decency. But where does the line of tolerance actually fall when someone refuses to acknowledge my viewpoint? It seems to me that the limit is reached when one holds pragmatically to their own convictions—and apparently, in this particular instance involving that lady, my convictions were interpreted as wishing her the worst or lacking any respect for her at all. And no, I have absolutely no desire to argue. Nor am I particularly motivated to engage in further communication. Whether one chooses to be wise or attempts to push me back onto that thin ice again—well, that is a matter of personal discretion.

Karen Garcia6 said:Have you ever dealt with someone close to you—someone you thought you knew inside and out—where you just hit this wall? Like, no matter how much history there is, you eventually realize they don't actually give a damn about your opinion...

I mean, I’m pretty sure everyone here has been there at some point. So, how do you handle it? Do you actually sit them down and try to talk it out, or do you just let it slide and ignore it? Or does it hurt enough that you just stop caring about clearing the air altogether?

Anyway, I know I'm throwing a lot of questions at you all at once, but just answer however you feel is best. Just stick to the topic... 🙂

Yes. I talked about it until I was blue in the face. If I hadn't, our relationship would have suffered irreparable damage. However, before diving in, I took a moment to weigh the cost—what would it actually gain me if they finally acknowledged my perspective? There was, however, one specific point I refused to let go of, and for that, I fought.
If you can manage to stay silent, then clearly, the validation wasn't a necessity for you.
If you cannot, then it is obvious that you need it deeply.

Some people just don't give a damn about anyone's opinion, but then there are those who specifically refuse to listen to yours.
The first group? Hopeless. The second kind might actually change if they give a crap and you manage to explain why their attitude is such a problem. Though, let’s be real, it's probably not gonna happen.

I've started cutting those types out of my life. Honestly, I don't miss them one bit, which is honestly for the best.

Problem solved!