Do we actually like old people? And why (or why not)?

So, by that I mean 70 and up. What’s your take on this—do the older generations get in the way of the younger ones?
Thanks!

It's an interesting topic and feels like one we haven't touched on yet, so edit:

Ageism (ageism) refers to prejudices based on a person's age, though we usually focus on biases against the elderly.
It stems partly from gerontophobia—an irrational fear or hatred of aging and older people.

When explaining ageism and gerontophobia, Terror Management Theory (TMT; Greenberg et al., 1986) is the dominant framework. Put simply, older people serve as a reminder of our own fragility and mortality, highlighting the limits of our lifespan. Out of fear for our own deaths, older individuals trigger anxiety in us, which we attempt to manage by rejecting them. It's a way to distance ourselves from what we might eventually become.

Ageism is just a prejudice against our own terrifying future selves. (Nelson Mandela, 2009).

We can distinguish between benevolent and hostile ageism. Benevolent ageism involves viewing older people through stereotypes rooted in pity or a fear of aging. Hostile ageism involves active dislike or repulsion, viewing the elderly as worthless or otherwise negative.

Kenneth Lopez19 said:So, by that I mean 70 and up. What’s your take on this—do the older generations get in the way of the younger ones?
Thanks!

It's an interesting topic and feels like one we haven't touched on yet, so edit:

Ageism (ageism) refers to prejudices based on a person's age, though we usually focus on biases against the elderly.
It stems partly from gerontophobia—an irrational fear or hatred of aging and older people.

When explaining ageism and gerontophobia, Terror Management Theory (TMT; Greenberg et al., 1986) is the dominant framework. Put simply, older people serve as a reminder of our own fragility and mortality, highlighting the limits of our lifespan. Out of fear for our own deaths, older individuals trigger anxiety in us, which we attempt to manage by rejecting them. It's a way to distance ourselves from what we might eventually become.

Ageism is just a prejudice against our own terrifying future selves. (Nelson Mandela, 2009).

We can distinguish between benevolent and hostile ageism. Benevolent ageism involves viewing older people through stereotypes rooted in pity or a fear of aging. Hostile ageism involves active dislike or repulsion, viewing the elderly as worthless or otherwise negative.

If they're worried about it, then yeah, they're a problem...

Not really. It’s kind of like how people don't exactly go crazy for a wilted flower, you know? I mean—not that they actually hate them, per se—but there's just this inherent friction between what's old and what's young. People tend to chase after youth, so aging often gets framed as this final curtain call, a decline, or just an empty shell... but honestly, it doesn't have to be that way at all.
And yeah, like ruggednomad5 was saying, if they actually give a damn about caretaking, then sure. But I know plenty of folks where having elderly parents is a massive struggle—dealing with stuff like sudden hearing loss or mobility issues and all that.

People tend to obsess over everything youth has to offer because society basically forces that mindset on them, but most folks are just too stuck in their ways and follow the herd blindly, moving wherever the crowd goes.
In your younger years, you at least have beauty and physical strength, if you're lucky enough to have those too.🤷
To be honest, I know plenty of seniors who are more agile and full of life than most people in their twenties.

Anyway, back to the topic: 👍 let's talk about the wisdom that comes with age.

They don’t really cause any trouble unless they start intruding on someone else's age group—and we’re talking about anyone from a fifteen-year-old kid to a fifty-year-old professional. You usually see friction when people spend way too much time hovering around one group, or if they try to push their unsolicited advice on things that actually affect those people personally.

As long as everyone just sticks to their own peer group, there isn't really a divide at all.

Sure, you might see some tension flare up at a local Target or out in a public park, but that's a whole different conversation.

The truth is, most people just don't like them—at least, the vast majority doesn't. It’s just human nature, really. You can't fight it. And then you have to factor in the inevitable reality of aging... those degenerative changes that disrupt everything about a person's life, affecting both them and everyone around them. So, here we are.

It’s an undeniable fact, though certainly not a pleasant one, because it serves as a litmus test for someone's character. Nobody finds it easy to deal with the slowing down, the cognitive decline, the loss of mobility... honestly, it’s unrealistic to expect the younger generation to completely sacrifice their own lives to manage it, but it is reasonable to expect that we provide our own elders with a dignified experience of aging and passing away.

They don't say "we all grow old" for nothing; none of us are going to be galloping around in perfect health at 70, 80... A little bit of empathy goes a long way.

Edit: As for those "difficult" seniors you run into at the grocery store or out on the street... if they are being difficult now, they were likely just as stubborn when they were younger.

Of course they hate them. Who actually wants to look at wrinkled faces and decaying bodies that serve as nothing more than a grim, constant reminder of our own mortality and inevitable decline?
As Rosita says, how we treat the elderly is the ultimate litmus test—it’s the clearest indicator of whether we have any actual humanity left in us or not.

Brenda Booth5 said:The truth is, most people just don't like them—at least, the vast majority doesn't. It’s just human nature, really. You can't fight it. And then you have to factor in the inevitable reality of aging... those degenerative changes that disrupt everything about a person's life, affecting both them and everyone around them. So, here we are.

It’s an undeniable fact, though certainly not a pleasant one, because it serves as a litmus test for someone's character. Nobody finds it easy to deal with the slowing down, the cognitive decline, the loss of mobility... honestly, it’s unrealistic to expect the younger generation to completely sacrifice their own lives to manage it, but it is reasonable to expect that we provide our own elders with a dignified experience of aging and passing away.

They don't say "we all grow old" for nothing; none of us are going to be galloping around in perfect health at 70, 80... A little bit of empathy goes a long way.

Edit: As for those "difficult" seniors you run into at the grocery store or out on the street... if they are being difficult now, they were likely just as stubborn when they were younger.

I really don't have any reason to dislike older people or lack compassion for them. I've always been the type to help someone up a flight of stairs or fix their phone settings when they're struggling with technology.

But there’s a difference between being helpful and dealing with unprovoked, baseless complaining. When people start lecturing me or nitpicking without cause, I find I have to step back. I usually just tell them, "Look, we're just in different stages of life right now," and we won't see eye to eye. Once we create that distance, everything works fine and everyone goes about their business.

rustyharbor3 said:Of course they hate them. Who actually wants to look at wrinkled faces and decaying bodies that serve as nothing more than a grim, constant reminder of our own mortality and inevitable decline?
As Rosita says, how we treat the elderly is the ultimate litmus test—it’s the clearest indicator of whether we have any actual humanity left in us or not.

There is a massive difference between a casual interaction with a stranger and living under the same roof as someone like that. I know a few guys my age who had constant friction with their grandmothers. There would be daily clashes between the grandson, his mother, and the grandmother herself. But once those guys moved out, they told me that visiting Grandma once or twice a month actually became quite relaxing, and they genuinely enjoy seeing her.

Well, it honestly feels like nobody has any respect for the elderly anymore, probably because—as the saying goes—they serve as a constant, uncomfortable reminder of our own mortality and the fact that time eventually runs out for everyone. 🤷
It’s like people have collectively decided that seniors are just this unnecessary burden or some kind of societal nuisance, but there’s a massive catch to that mindset, because we reap exactly what we sow... if we spend our youth looking down on aging, we can bet anything that we’re going to feel that exact same contempt hitting us right where it hurts once we get there ourselves.

By the way, the reality is that the definition of "old" is constantly shifting as we age, so suddenly teenagers look old to thirty-year-olds, and fifty-year-olds start looking ancient to the thirty-somethings, but once you hit that half-century mark, you really start feeling the weight of approaching a deep old age... the kind of age that seemed absolutely exhausting and almost biblical when we were kids. 😍

Heh, I suppose it all just counts toward our total time spent existing in this material world, and it’s honestly such a shame there’s this constant friction between generations, especially since youth slips away from every single one of us without mercy, and so few actually manage to reach a peaceful, happy, and dignified old age.
Maybe things would be different if we actually made a conscious effort to recognize that every stage of life has its own unique perks, its own inherent value and beauty, and if we actually respected and complemented one another instead of fighting... It would certainly make life easier for everyone, and frankly, it would be more human, given how much the younger generation could learn from their elders, and let's face it, the older folks could learn plenty from the young ones too. 👍

To be honest, I don't think there’s much beauty to be found in aging, and maybe even less wisdom, either. Most elderly people I happen to run into seem quite bitter; they just repeat the same stories over and over, constantly complaining and somehow managing to drain the life force right out of everyone around them.
I do feel a certain amount of sympathy for the elderly regarding their physical aches and their loneliness, I suppose, but I also realize that if I live long enough to reach that stage, I'll likely face those same struggles myself. Since I can't really expect the world to suddenly treat me with extra kindness once I'm old, I find I shouldn't bother exhausting myself trying to connect with them.
Even at the doctor's office, for instance, I tend to notice older patients who carry this specific scent that isn't exactly pleasant, and they have this way of staring at you so intently that it makes things feel a bit uneasy.
No, I really don't like old people.

rustymaker5 said:Well, it honestly feels like nobody has any respect for the elderly anymore, probably because—as the saying goes—they serve as a constant, uncomfortable reminder of our own mortality and the fact that time eventually runs out for everyone. 🤷
It’s like people have collectively decided that seniors are just this unnecessary burden or some kind of societal nuisance, but there’s a massive catch to that mindset, because we reap exactly what we sow... if we spend our youth looking down on aging, we can bet anything that we’re going to feel that exact same contempt hitting us right where it hurts once we get there ourselves.

By the way, the reality is that the definition of "old" is constantly shifting as we age, so suddenly teenagers look old to thirty-year-olds, and fifty-year-olds start looking ancient to the thirty-somethings, but once you hit that half-century mark, you really start feeling the weight of approaching a deep old age... the kind of age that seemed absolutely exhausting and almost biblical when we were kids. 😍

Heh, I suppose it all just counts toward our total time spent existing in this material world, and it’s honestly such a shame there’s this constant friction between generations, especially since youth slips away from every single one of us without mercy, and so few actually manage to reach a peaceful, happy, and dignified old age.
Maybe things would be different if we actually made a conscious effort to recognize that every stage of life has its own unique perks, its own inherent value and beauty, and if we actually respected and complemented one another instead of fighting... It would certainly make life easier for everyone, and frankly, it would be more human, given how much the younger generation could learn from their elders, and let's face it, the older folks could learn plenty from the young ones too. 👍

It all sounds like empty phrases and clichés to me, just blah, blah, blah.
Just a bunch of "what ifs" and similar nonsense.
I don't really buy that every stage of life has its perks; I mean, aging isn't exactly a gift, no matter how much some people might try to convince themselves otherwise.

goldenbison31 said:It all sounds like empty phrases and clichés to me, just blah, blah, blah.
Just a bunch of "what ifs" and similar nonsense.
I don't really buy that every stage of life has its perks; I mean, aging isn't exactly a gift, no matter how much some people might try to convince themselves otherwise.

Oh, I disagree completely. There are absolutely advantages. For instance, personally, I find it incredibly liberating to reach an age where everything is already behind you—the good, the bad, all of it. It’s this massive weight off your shoulders, and it's only then that a person can truly, deeply relax—assuming, of course, that your body holds up and you actually possess the right mindset (which, unfortunately, is something a lot of people just lack)
Take my neighbor, for example—an 89-year-old woman. She lives in the same house as her kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids, but she has her own separate apartment and keeps a healthy distance from them (except for those brief moments when they pop in to help her collect her Social Security check🙄). Her family is a complete disaster zone—all three generations are constantly at each other's throats, and they basically treat her like she's invisible. I ran into her once while she was sitting out in the garden, and she told me: "I know everyone is just counting down the days until I'm gone, but honestly? Life is beautiful right here... nothing hurts, I just sit in the sun, crochet, eat grapes, and watch the peppers ripen." I was just left standing there, totally stunned.😁

How do you view that, Brenda Booth5? For me, I love my family and my close friends, but when it comes to everyone else—regardless of their age—it’s hard to say I truly "love" them. That said, I don't mind older people at all. In fact, there are certain types of behavior I’d actually be more patient with in an elderly person than in someone younger. It just feels like if you've lived through 70 years on this planet, you've inevitably dealt with a mountain of nonsense, and I feel like I owe them at least a baseline level of kindness. I struggle to put it into words without sounding overly sentimental or cliché.

Why are you guys even singling them out? Honestly, I like certain older folks just as much as I like certain younger ones—it’s not some cosmic rule. It’s got nothing to do with how many birthdays they've had, it's all about who they actually are—their character, how they treat people, their headspace, all that stuff.

goldenbison31 said:It all sounds like empty phrases and clichés to me, just blah, blah, blah.
Just a bunch of "what ifs" and similar nonsense.
I don't really buy that every stage of life has its perks; I mean, aging isn't exactly a gift, no matter how much some people might try to convince themselves otherwise.

Well, seeing as most seniors seem to feel that way, it looks like there really isn't any upside... and with that kind of mindset, there's probably no chance things will ever actually get better... 😁

By the way, a friend's dad who's well past 80 still hits the slopes and climbs Mount Everest, while his mom travels the globe and keeps herself looking as sharp as she did in her prime. Then there's my aunt, in her eighties, who heads down to Times Square every single day for coffee, clinging to those habits from her younger days since she can't quite shake them... 😍, which is a far cry from my other aunt, who's twenty years younger than her but, I don't know, just looks completely ancient.
I know plenty of old-timers who refused to let their age kill their drive to live, just like I know tons of people in their forties who already look like walking zombies. If someone wants to find the silver lining in their age, they will, but if they don't, they won't be happy even if they were twenty again... 😉

Anyway, I can't say I'm personally wishing for some deep, long old age, but I really do admire the seniors who live life to the fullest, the ones who haven't lost that spark in their eyes, instead of giving up halfway through and spending the rest of their time just trudging along and complaining about getting old—which, at the end of the day, is a stage we're all heading toward regardless... 🙂

It really depends on the individual, doesn't it? I get along famously with some of them, but then there are those others who just seem to crave constant attention and endless conversation. It gets incredibly grating when they reach out simply because they're bored and expect me to act as their personal sounding board. They tend to unload their entire lives on you, treating you like a therapist because they feel like nobody else is actually listening or taking them seriously. They look to younger people for that sense of understanding, yet they still insist on demanding your opinion—only for them to pull the "I've lived longer, so I must be right" card. It’s like having a different perspective based on our age is treated as an error rather than just a different way of seeing things. At the end of the day, it’s a mixed bag; some are perfectly fine, while others are just exhausting.

goldenbison31 said:To be honest, I don't think there’s much beauty to be found in aging, and maybe even less wisdom, either. Most elderly people I happen to run into seem quite bitter; they just repeat the same stories over and over, constantly complaining and somehow managing to drain the life force right out of everyone around them.
I do feel a certain amount of sympathy for the elderly regarding their physical aches and their loneliness, I suppose, but I also realize that if I live long enough to reach that stage, I'll likely face those same struggles myself. Since I can't really expect the world to suddenly treat me with extra kindness once I'm old, I find I shouldn't bother exhausting myself trying to connect with them.
Even at the doctor's office, for instance, I tend to notice older patients who carry this specific scent that isn't exactly pleasant, and they have this way of staring at you so intently that it makes things feel a bit uneasy.
No, I really don't like old people.

I guess I agree, though people aren't all the same.
If I can help them out with the little things, I usually do. Might be good for me too, I suppose...

There is a distinct difference between genuinely disliking older people and simply finding them... a bit grating. Every once in a while.

In truth, the very fact that this question can even be asked speaks volumes about our current era. We are living at a breakneck pace unlike anything humanity has ever experienced, driven by a collective mindset where youth is treated as the ultimate prize—something some people will go to absurd, artificial lengths to preserve at all costs.

Aging is everything that stands in opposition to that frantic pursuit. In reality, aging is exactly what it has always been; it’s just that today, we view it through a completely different lens.

We live in a culture where anything that has served its purpose or shows signs of wear is simply tossed aside, and unfortunately, that disposable logic has bled into how we perceive human beings. I suppose everyone will have to decide for themselves whether that's a healthy way to exist.

I’m definitely one of those people who just gravitates toward older folks. I have a massive soft spot for them... probably because I lost my grandparents way too early. Man, I’d give anything to have a grandma or grandpa I could rush over to after work, just to sit on a porch swing together and look after them. For instance, when I hear a coworker—who's a mom of three—get a call from her grandmother asking if she dressed warmly enough so she doesn't catch a cold, I honestly just feel so envious 🙂 it’s beautiful. To that grandma, she’ll always be her little girl.
The bond between grandparents and grandkids is something else... at least, it should be.
Since I don't have mine, I try to fill that void with my neighbors. I’ve got a couple of dear neighbors I walk with and stay in touch with.
I live for their stories about the "good old days" and how they recount everything.
And that grit and wisdom they’ve picked up just by surviving life.
The other day, I was riding the bus and this elderly woman in her 80s was sitting across from me. It was one of those brutal, sweltering summer days. She was dressed in black, with this tear in her eye... just the sweetest, most gentle soul. We hopped off at the same stop, and seeing how much she was struggling to walk, I asked where she was headed. She told me she was going to a friend's funeral.
I told her, "Look, lady, you aren't walking to the cemetery in this heat. I'm calling you a taxi, and I'm not taking no for an answer."
She looked so genuinely happy, so incredibly grateful.
When she reached out and patted my face, she said, "Thank you, sweetheart," and honestly, my heart felt huge. 😍
👍 My heart goes out to the elderly.
God, I really miss my grandma. 😢
Having a grandma or grandpa is just the best thing ever.