Sleep and Insomnia Help

Sean Cruz said:unknown

You've clearly identified what's going on with your headspace. Is there any actual way to tackle the underlying issues that landed you here? Don't get me wrong, I'm not dismissing meditation, but I feel like when you're facing real-world problems, meditation can only take you so far. You eventually have to actually solve the problems themselves (assuming they're solvable).

I guess everything is just a bit of a vicious cycle... maybe because I am personally overwhelmed by quite a few things, or perhaps I'm just a pessimist at heart, or whatever it is. To be honest, whenever my mother suggested I see a doctor about it, I never really had the courage. I think I was always afraid they would officially diagnose me with anxiety, depression, or any of those other conditions. So, I usually just fall back on my old habit of smiling and pretending everything is fine... which is quite bad, I know. This is actually only the second time in my life that I have admitted to doing that. It clearly interferes with my peace of mind, and I suppose when I withdraw from the outside world and try to find some quiet—sleeping is a perfect example of that—then the impact becomes most apparent.

Eric Jones8 said:I guess everything is just a bit of a vicious cycle... maybe because I am personally overwhelmed by quite a few things, or perhaps I'm just a pessimist at heart, or whatever it is. To be honest, whenever my mother suggested I see a doctor about it, I never really had the courage. I think I was always afraid they would officially diagnose me with anxiety, depression, or any of those other conditions. So, I usually just fall back on my old habit of smiling and pretending everything is fine... which is quite bad, I know. This is actually only the second time in my life that I have admitted to doing that. It clearly interferes with my peace of mind, and I suppose when I withdraw from the outside world and try to find some quiet—sleeping is a perfect example of that—then the impact becomes most apparent.

And what exactly are you being a pessimist about?

feralhound17 said:unknown

That could definitely be a mental health thing, but then again, maybe it’s just life circumstances shifting.
I haven't shared a bed with anyone for a few years now, and I still sleep just as poorly as I did way back in the day.

I suppose there have been some changes in my situation, though they mostly happened following my initial issue. It's been a few years since that one major shift occurred... at one point, I even tried to attribute it to that, but I don't think that's it. Honestly, there are just so many questions and answers regarding all of this, yet no actual intelligent solution seems to exist. Just... blah.

Eric Jones8 said:I suppose there have been some changes in my situation, though they mostly happened following my initial issue. It's been a few years since that one major shift occurred... at one point, I even tried to attribute it to that, but I don't think that's it. Honestly, there are just so many questions and answers regarding all of this, yet no actual intelligent solution seems to exist. Just... blah.

Just solve your own problem 😉

Eric Jones8 said:I'm 22 (and now I'll probably add "just a few months until I'm 23" like every other kid does, lol), a college student, in a relationship.. do I drink? Like, alcohol? Well, of course🙂

Eric Jones8 said:I guess everything is just a bit of a vicious cycle... maybe because I am personally overwhelmed by quite a few things, or perhaps I'm just a pessimist at heart, or whatever it is. To be honest, whenever my mother suggested I see a doctor about it, I never really had the courage. I think I was always afraid they would officially diagnose me with anxiety, depression, or any of those other conditions. So, I usually just fall back on my old habit of smiling and pretending everything is fine... which is quite bad, I know. This is actually only the second time in my life that I have admitted to doing that. It clearly interferes with my peace of mind, and I suppose when I withdraw from the outside world and try to find some quiet—sleeping is a perfect example of that—then the impact becomes most apparent.

There isn't much anyone can do about this (I know from experience), but you might want to start by checking your hormone levels, specifically your thyroid. I'm telling you this from firsthand experience. A thyroid imbalance can cause just about anything...
Quincy:

To be honest, whenever my mom advised me to see a doctor about this, I just didn't have the nerve. I'm always terrified they'll actually diagnose me with anxiety, depression, or whatever else is out there. So instead, I fall back on the old reliable method: just smile and pretend everything is fine. It's a bad habit, I know. In fact, what I'm writing right now is only the second time in my life I've actually admitted to doing this. It clearly messes with my peace of mind; when I finally withdraw from the world and just sit with myself—sleeping is the perfect example here—that's when it becomes most obvious how much it's affecting me.

That sounds all too familiar to me. Regardless, check your hormones first. If those come back clear, then you can start looking into other solutions. Is this sleep disturbance the only symptom you're noticing?

feralhound17 said:Just solve your own problem 😉

Haha, so now I'm being cast as some kind of alcoholic? 😁 No... I mean, it's perfectly normal for me to have a drink here and there... I suppose I might have misunderstood the question that was asked of me.. (now I'm coming across as a drunkard 😲 🙄 )

Sean Cruz said:There isn't much anyone can do about this (I know from experience), but you might want to start by checking your hormone levels, specifically your thyroid. I'm telling you this from firsthand experience. A thyroid imbalance can cause just about anything...
Quincy:

To be honest, whenever my mom advised me to see a doctor about this, I just didn't have the nerve. I'm always terrified they'll actually diagnose me with anxiety, depression, or whatever else is out there. So instead, I fall back on the old reliable method: just smile and pretend everything is fine. It's a bad habit, I know. In fact, what I'm writing right now is only the second time in my life I've actually admitted to doing this. It clearly messes with my peace of mind; when I finally withdraw from the world and just sit with myself—sleeping is the perfect example here—that's when it becomes most obvious how much it's affecting me.

That sounds all too familiar to me. Regardless, check your hormones first. If those come back clear, then you can start looking into other solutions. Is this sleep disturbance the only symptom you're noticing?

Well... I always think in terms of myself. I'm young, only 22, so how could something like this really affect me? But thanks for the advice! 🙂
I don't know... now I'm worried I might come across as some kind of sick person. This issue is mostly just one of the most noticeable things, and it bothers me quite a bit. I probably shouldn't say more because I don't want to end up sounding like a hypochondriac or whatever...

(and now I am doing exactly that 🙄 )

Eric Jones8 said:Well... I always think in terms of myself. I'm young, only 22, so how could something like this really affect me? But thanks for the advice! 🙂
I don't know... now I'm worried I might come across as some kind of sick person. This issue is mostly just one of the most noticeable things, and it bothers me quite a bit. I probably shouldn't say more because I don't want to end up sounding like a hypochondriac or whatever...

(and now I am doing exactly that 🙄 )

It costs you absolutely nothing to go in, check your settings, and just turn certain features off. 🙂

Honestly, I’m starting to worry that I might come across as some kind of hypochondriac. This issue is easily one of my most noticeable symptoms, and frankly, it’s what bothers me the most. I won’t go into further detail, though—I don't want to sound like I'm obsessing over every little thing or making a mountain out of a molehill.

And just like that, I’m out. 🙄 )

You started this thread specifically to talk about these issues, and I don't see anything wrong with that. Even if people end up labeling you a "hypochondriac," so be it. At the end of the day, just because you feel like something is affecting you doesn't mean you're automatically making it up or being dramatic. Your perception matters.

Eric Jones8 said:Haha, so now I'm being cast as some kind of alcoholic? 😁 No... I mean, it's perfectly normal for me to have a drink here and there... I suppose I might have misunderstood the question that was asked of me.. (now I'm coming across as a drunkard 😲 🙄 )

🤣

Honestly, I find it ridiculous how people jump to a diagnosis of alcoholism just because you mention having a glass of wine once in a while. 😬

Eric Jones8 said:Do you actually dream all night long? Like, do you remember the dreams? When this first started happening to me, I began looking into the science behind dreaming and found a few things... apparently, according to certain studies, we all dream every single night (often multiple times), but if we don't remember them, it means we had a deep, solid sleep. Conversely, if we do remember what we dreamed when we wake up, it suggests the sleep was quite light. I guess I've simplified and paraphrased that, but that's basically the takeaway I got.
In my case, I remember my dreams about 99% of the time. I've asked people around me about this, and some mentioned they are aware of their dreams only very rarely, maybe once every ten days or so. Have you perhaps considered seeking some professional help regarding this issue you're having?

It seems likely that I am failing to reach those restorative, deep stages of sleep. My dreams are so relentlessly kinetic and action-packed that it often feels less like resting and more like being transported to another location entirely.

I have toyed with the idea, in a vague sort of way, of trying to secure a referral to that specialized sleep clinic over in San Francisco.

But honestly, I suspect they would just run a battery of tests without offering any actual resolution to the underlying issue.

Their whole process seems centered on sleep monitoring and running EEGs just to deliver a clinical verdict—essentially telling you that you aren't entering deep sleep. A friend of mine went through the whole ordeal there, and that was the extent of it.

Eric Jones8 said:Haha, so now I'm being cast as some kind of alcoholic? 😁 No... I mean, it's perfectly normal for me to have a drink here and there... I suppose I might have misunderstood the question that was asked of me.. (now I'm coming across as a drunkard 😲 🙄 )

Unless you're drinking enough to drown a horse, alcohol shouldn't be the thing wrecking your sleep. It occurs to me, though—smoking is a much more likely culprit for insomnia, since a nicotine addict is essentially going through withdrawal cycles while they try to drift off.

Joshua Adams41 said:So, I was reading this theory somewhere suggesting that sleep therapy actually works by essentially killing off a person's REM cycle.
It makes sense if you look at it through the lens of REM being that specific "phase" where the brain finally gets to power down.
The real issue, then, is when you crash too fast—your brain hits that reset button instantly, and boom, you’re wide awake and wired again.
Basically, from what I can gather, the goal should be to maximize actual sleep time while minimizing dream time.
This explains why so many people turn to sleeping pills; they knock you out cold, but you barely dream at all.

I don't know, maybe I'm totally off base here. I've just been digging into this topic and trying to connect the dots.

If I push this logic even further—and bear with me here—you could potentially become addicted to the REM phase itself. Every single time you close your eyes, your brain just snaps straight into rest mode.

I used to take them myself, and I have to say, from my own experience, it’s a bad move. 👎 👎

feralhound17 said:I’ve noticed I sleep way better when I’m absolutely wiped out from work or hitting the gym hard—basically, once I actually hit that REM stage.
If I’m just sleeping lightly and catching every little noise, I never wake up feeling rested. It’s like, I’d feel refreshed if I could just crash hard enough to dream and stop registering everything happening around me.
Also, I’ve realized that sticking to a strict bedtime and waking up at the same time every single day is pretty much a life-or-death matter for me.

Facts. I am telling you, I’ve learned this the hard way through my own chaotic trial and error 🙂

Ronald Jones said:I used to take them myself, and I have to say, from my own experience, it’s a bad move. 👎 👎

No, I have to disagree—that feels like an unnecessary generalization. It applies broadly to medications in general, specifically antidepressants and antipsychotics. They get such a bad reputation because there is just this massive mountain of unverified, inconsistent, and unreliable sources out there spreading misinformation.
Medications are prescribed (quite realistically, mind you) when a professional evaluates the initial clinical data during a session—considering things like the transfer-countertransference dynamics, dreams, and even those somewhat unrealistic expectations patients hold. When they decide that a specific dosage of psychopharmaceuticals will actually support a patient's current mental state alongside high-quality psychotherapy, that's when it happens.
From what I’ve gathered through my own extensive experience—which, unfortunately, is quite significant—certain drugs can indeed trigger dependency if taken in unknown or dangerous combinations. However, by strengthening the superego and ego and building up a solid character structure (especially for individuals with borderline traits), one can—and I repeat, *with* quality therapy—use that therapeutic authority to reduce that dependency back down to a completely normal reaction. In fact, it has even been shown to have positive long-term effects!
So, no, not every pill is a poison. With a truly skilled therapist at the helm, it is entirely possible to strike the right balance between quality of life, medication, and therapy.

Pills—they’re really only meant for those intense, acute moments when everything is hitting the fan at once. Otherwise... 🙂

Sam Wright21 said:Unless you're drinking enough to drown a horse, alcohol shouldn't be the thing wrecking your sleep. It occurs to me, though—smoking is a much more likely culprit for insomnia, since a nicotine addict is essentially going through withdrawal cycles while they try to drift off.

Haha, well, obviously. I am certainly not an alcoholic, so I doubt such conclusions are warranted, 🙂 and as for cigarettes, I have only been a smoker for about a year and a half now.. 🤷

I feel like I’ve been struggling with sleep issues for as long as I can remember... honestly, it probably started way back in elementary school. 😲 It's one of those things where maybe once a year, I’ll actually manage to pass out before 3:00 AM. 😢

I’ve even tried staying awake for an entire day just to reset, hoping to crash by evening, but nothing works. Even taking some over-the-counter sleep aids doesn't seem to touch it...

What's wrong with me? 😍 😁 On the bright side, I guess I really am a night owl. Everything is so peaceful and quiet at night... 🙂 I even find myself cleaning my apartment after midnight... 😁

I don't know, man—I'm waking up at least five times during my "night," though honestly, it feels more like my "main sleep" period

whether it's grabbing a drink, snacking, hitting the bathroom, changing clothes, scrolling through the web, or even hopping in the shower

I don't really see the big deal, and my old roommates back in the day had pretty much the same routine

It’d actually feel weird if I just knocked everything out in one go and didn't get any of those little breaks

As long as you're generally healthy, there's really no reason to stress about it

feralhound17 said:I’ve noticed I sleep way better when I’m absolutely wiped out from work or hitting the gym hard—basically, once I actually hit that REM stage.
If I’m just sleeping lightly and catching every little noise, I never wake up feeling rested. It’s like, I’d feel refreshed if I could just crash hard enough to dream and stop registering everything happening around me.
Also, I’ve realized that sticking to a strict bedtime and waking up at the same time every single day is pretty much a life-or-death matter for me.

Nicholas Gonzalez8 said:Facts. I am telling you, I’ve learned this the hard way through my own chaotic trial and error 🙂

And yet, I am somehow still drawing breath. 😁

It is difficult to even begin to articulate my sleep schedule, if one can even call it that. There are stretches where I’ll manage a few disjointed two-hour bouts scattered across a twenty-four-hour period, and then there are those darker stretches where I might go thirty hours without blinking, only to crash for fourteen straight hours once the exhaustion finally wins. Occasionally, I’ll fall into a semblance of a "normal" rhythm, though naturally, it never aligns with the sun; I find myself drifting off around six or seven in the morning, only to sleep for another seven or eight hours before the world starts moving again.

It’s even harder to put into words just how much my life was consumed by college. i Work is a grind right now. Honestly, focusing on my degree is the only thing that actually feels relevant, so I might as well lean into that for a while.

The issues first started surfacing around the age of twelve or thirteen, if my memory serves me right. Back then, I actually thought it was some kind of superpower—I’d pull those all-nighters, getting maybe four hours of sleep, and walk around feeling absolutely invincible. 🙂

Exercise, diet, stress—it’s all part of the equation, I suppose, though I’ve come to realize that my mind is the primary culprit in this little drama. The reality is that there are nights when I lie there staring at the ceiling for an hour or two, unable to drift off, which makes forcing sleep a completely futile exercise. But more often than not, it isn't an inability to sleep; it’s a refusal. I’m haunted by this persistent, nagging sensation that if I finally close my eyes, I’m just wasting precious time—as if going to bed is somehow an act of surrender, a way of letting life pass me by while I’m unconscious. 🤷

I’ve been stuck on this brutal 4-5 hour sleep limit for like a year now. Seriously, I just can't do more than that. I spend the whole day feeling like a total zombie, but then when I finally crash, my body decides it's done after less than 5 hours and I'm wide awake again... It’s ridiculous. When I was younger, I used to be the type to sleep in until noon, but now? My internal clock is set to 6:00 AM sharp. Hilarious, right?