Once someone loses your respect, is there any coming back?

Hey everyone, I won't waste your time with a massive intro... It feels weirdly heavy to feel this need to reach out to people who might have walked a similar path at this hour, but honestly, it’s just practical. A nightmare woke me up about half an hour ago. I know it's just my brain processing suppressed disappointment toward someone—someone I didn't even confront in real life because, frankly, once I realized they had betrayed me, I just stayed silent... It was a total backstab. Whether it was jealousy or just a desperate need to cozy up to a third party by dragging my name through the mud, the motive doesn't really matter anymore. They just fell so low in my eyes... it’s that feeling where you aren't even angry enough to yell, you just look at them like some pathetic insect you wouldn't even bother stepping on. Just pure nausea when I think about them. Since we’ve been close basically our whole lives, there are so many connections, and plenty of other people who know both of us... I hear through the grapevine that this Person is struggling because I’m not reaching out, acting "weird" or distant, wondering if something happened to me (nothing bad has happened, thank God!)... they can sense I've pulled away, and they probably know why now. All those lies they told have finally brought the storm right to their own doorstep, realizing the doors are slammed shut and they're just pounding on them with nobody home to answer
.
To get back to that nightmare that jolted me awake—I rarely dream, and I've only had a few night terrors in my entire life. The reason I'm posting in the middle of the night is because of this specific one, the one where I woke up feeling like I was underwater. In the dream, we were facing off in front of two other people. I confronted her, saying everything I felt, laying it all out there... She looked so stricken with pain, her face just went blank, and she ran into a room and threw herself out a window. I looked out and saw her lying there, lifeless, from such a height. Seeing that broke something inside me. Even now, trying to recount that image, the words just catch in my throat
.
I wanted to share this traumatic late-night experience and ask how you would interpret a dream like this on a spiritual level... and also, how did you handle someone who disappointed you so deeply that you can't even stand the sight of them? Someone who just falls so low you lose all respect? And yet, you know deep down—without even trying to make excuses—that they aren't a saint; they're full of their own wounds and envy, and while they might love you in their own twisted way, they also hate you because you represent something they could never be. That’s how I feel about this Person, someone I've known forever, and despite everything, I don't wish them ill... I actually wish them the best. Her fate in the dream actually moved me to tears, which tells me I still love her, even if she's hit rock bottom in my eyes. I don't feel the need to call her out or explain myself... nothing at all. But even in real life, with her constantly checking up on me and trying to reach out, and now after this dream, it feels like she’s actually repenting. But just as I refuse to engage with her in person because she isn't worth the breath, I don't want to hear from her or see her under any circumstances
.
There’s no doubt about the bias or the gossiping involving that third party, because certain things could only have come from this Person
.
The question I'm left with is: when someone loses your respect this completely, is there ever a way back? And what does that road even look like?

This is how I would look at it:

Imagine you have a favorite coffee mug—the one you reach for every single morning because it just feels right.
Then, one day, you drop it, and it cracks.

Sure, you can try to glue it back together, but it’s never going to be the same. You’ll always be walking on eggshells, worrying that it might split wide open when you pour hot coffee into it, or worse, that a sharp shard might cut you while you're washing it.

That crack represents the breach of trust with that person; once it happens, things are fundamentally altered.
The scar remains, and it isn't going anywhere.
The more important that person was to you originally, the deeper that scar will feel.

You won't be able to act the same way around them or truly relax anymore. It’s the moment you have to ask yourself if you even want to maintain the relationship, knowing deep down that the old dynamic is gone for good. Eventually, you'll realize the vibe has shifted permanently.

Your dream was simply a reflection of how much this has already permeated your subconscious and how deeply you've been wounded.

In my opinion, there is no going back. You might stay friendly and they can remain one of many acquaintances, but that special connection you once shared? That is lost forever.

I’ve just been hit with this massive wave of disappointment from someone I trusted more than anyone else in the world, and honestly? Things are never, ever going to be the same. That’s the hardest part—it’s not just a one-time thing; it’s constantly hanging over my head. There are certain things that never used to bother me before, but now? They drive me absolutely insane. Even if I see some similar drama playing out on a Netflix show or hear someone else venting about a similar situation, I get this sickening knot in my stomach. And here’s the kicker—the absolute worst part—is that the person who did this to me probably isn't feeling even a shred of guilt. You think they're hurting? Please. They likely don't care at all.
Maybe things will settle down eventually, but let’s be real: it’ll never be anything close to how it was before.

...now I'm watching this person sink lower in my eyes every single day...and what really bugs me is how I didn't catch it sooner...I mean, nobody changes overnight...either he’s a damn good actor, or I'm just terrible at reading people...🙂

Alexander Martinez5 said:Hey everyone, I won't waste your time with a massive intro... It feels weirdly heavy to feel this need to reach out to people who might have walked a similar path at this hour, but honestly, it’s just practical. A nightmare woke me up about half an hour ago. I know it's just my brain processing suppressed disappointment toward someone—someone I didn't even confront in real life because, frankly, once I realized they had betrayed me, I just stayed silent... It was a total backstab. Whether it was jealousy or just a desperate need to cozy up to a third party by dragging my name through the mud, the motive doesn't really matter anymore. They just fell so low in my eyes... it’s that feeling where you aren't even angry enough to yell, you just look at them like some pathetic insect you wouldn't even bother stepping on. Just pure nausea when I think about them. Since we’ve been close basically our whole lives, there are so many connections, and plenty of other people who know both of us... I hear through the grapevine that this Person is struggling because I’m not reaching out, acting "weird" or distant, wondering if something happened to me (nothing bad has happened, thank God!)... they can sense I've pulled away, and they probably know why now. All those lies they told have finally brought the storm right to their own doorstep, realizing the doors are slammed shut and they're just pounding on them with nobody home to answer
.
To get back to that nightmare that jolted me awake—I rarely dream, and I've only had a few night terrors in my entire life. The reason I'm posting in the middle of the night is because of this specific one, the one where I woke up feeling like I was underwater. In the dream, we were facing off in front of two other people. I confronted her, saying everything I felt, laying it all out there... She looked so stricken with pain, her face just went blank, and she ran into a room and threw herself out a window. I looked out and saw her lying there, lifeless, from such a height. Seeing that broke something inside me. Even now, trying to recount that image, the words just catch in my throat
.
I wanted to share this traumatic late-night experience and ask how you would interpret a dream like this on a spiritual level... and also, how did you handle someone who disappointed you so deeply that you can't even stand the sight of them? Someone who just falls so low you lose all respect? And yet, you know deep down—without even trying to make excuses—that they aren't a saint; they're full of their own wounds and envy, and while they might love you in their own twisted way, they also hate you because you represent something they could never be. That’s how I feel about this Person, someone I've known forever, and despite everything, I don't wish them ill... I actually wish them the best. Her fate in the dream actually moved me to tears, which tells me I still love her, even if she's hit rock bottom in my eyes. I don't feel the need to call her out or explain myself... nothing at all. But even in real life, with her constantly checking up on me and trying to reach out, and now after this dream, it feels like she’s actually repenting. But just as I refuse to engage with her in person because she isn't worth the breath, I don't want to hear from her or see her under any circumstances
.
There’s no doubt about the bias or the gossiping involving that third party, because certain things could only have come from this Person
.
The question I'm left with is: when someone loses your respect this completely, is there ever a way back? And what does that road even look like?

There is no coming back. At least, not for me.
You mentioned above that she seems to be repenting and checking in, but have you considered that you might just be projecting? Maybe you're assuming she feels remorse simply because that's how you would feel if you had stabbed someone in the back the way she did to you.
I firmly believe in shady people. Being underhanded is just part of being dishonest. The fact that she’s full of envy and trauma, making her emotionally ambivalent toward you (because you aren't like her), is just more reason to keep her at a distance.
With "wonderful" friends like that, people end up with enemies instead of 🤷 🤣

Alexander Martinez5 said:Hey everyone, I won't waste your time with a massive intro... It feels weirdly heavy to feel this need to reach out to people who might have walked a similar path at this hour, but honestly, it’s just practical. A nightmare woke me up about half an hour ago. I know it's just my brain processing suppressed disappointment toward someone—someone I didn't even confront in real life because, frankly, once I realized they had betrayed me, I just stayed silent... It was a total backstab. Whether it was jealousy or just a desperate need to cozy up to a third party by dragging my name through the mud, the motive doesn't really matter anymore. They just fell so low in my eyes... it’s that feeling where you aren't even angry enough to yell, you just look at them like some pathetic insect you wouldn't even bother stepping on. Just pure nausea when I think about them. Since we’ve been close basically our whole lives, there are so many connections, and plenty of other people who know both of us... I hear through the grapevine that this Person is struggling because I’m not reaching out, acting "weird" or distant, wondering if something happened to me (nothing bad has happened, thank God!)... they can sense I've pulled away, and they probably know why now. All those lies they told have finally brought the storm right to their own doorstep, realizing the doors are slammed shut and they're just pounding on them with nobody home to answer
.
To get back to that nightmare that jolted me awake—I rarely dream, and I've only had a few night terrors in my entire life. The reason I'm posting in the middle of the night is because of this specific one, the one where I woke up feeling like I was underwater. In the dream, we were facing off in front of two other people. I confronted her, saying everything I felt, laying it all out there... She looked so stricken with pain, her face just went blank, and she ran into a room and threw herself out a window. I looked out and saw her lying there, lifeless, from such a height. Seeing that broke something inside me. Even now, trying to recount that image, the words just catch in my throat
.
I wanted to share this traumatic late-night experience and ask how you would interpret a dream like this on a spiritual level... and also, how did you handle someone who disappointed you so deeply that you can't even stand the sight of them? Someone who just falls so low you lose all respect? And yet, you know deep down—without even trying to make excuses—that they aren't a saint; they're full of their own wounds and envy, and while they might love you in their own twisted way, they also hate you because you represent something they could never be. That’s how I feel about this Person, someone I've known forever, and despite everything, I don't wish them ill... I actually wish them the best. Her fate in the dream actually moved me to tears, which tells me I still love her, even if she's hit rock bottom in my eyes. I don't feel the need to call her out or explain myself... nothing at all. But even in real life, with her constantly checking up on me and trying to reach out, and now after this dream, it feels like she’s actually repenting. But just as I refuse to engage with her in person because she isn't worth the breath, I don't want to hear from her or see her under any circumstances
.
There’s no doubt about the bias or the gossiping involving that third party, because certain things could only have come from this Person
.
The question I'm left with is: when someone loses your respect this completely, is there ever a way back? And what does that road even look like?

Trying to see things from your perspective, I think you might be overanalyzing this and twisting it to fit what you want to believe.
Someone who actually made a mistake will admit it to you, to themselves, and to others (maybe not perfectly, but they'll admit it). They wouldn't act in a way that makes you look like the "weird one" just to cover their own malicious intentions.
This person likely wants something from you or is just trying to stir the pot while denying any wrongdoing of their own.

Alexander Martinez5 said:Hey everyone, I won't waste your time with a massive intro... It feels weirdly heavy to feel this need to reach out to people who might have walked a similar path at this hour, but honestly, it’s just practical. A nightmare woke me up about half an hour ago. I know it's just my brain processing suppressed disappointment toward someone—someone I didn't even confront in real life because, frankly, once I realized they had betrayed me, I just stayed silent... It was a total backstab. Whether it was jealousy or just a desperate need to cozy up to a third party by dragging my name through the mud, the motive doesn't really matter anymore. They just fell so low in my eyes... it’s that feeling where you aren't even angry enough to yell, you just look at them like some pathetic insect you wouldn't even bother stepping on. Just pure nausea when I think about them. Since we’ve been close basically our whole lives, there are so many connections, and plenty of other people who know both of us... I hear through the grapevine that this Person is struggling because I’m not reaching out, acting "weird" or distant, wondering if something happened to me (nothing bad has happened, thank God!)... they can sense I've pulled away, and they probably know why now. All those lies they told have finally brought the storm right to their own doorstep, realizing the doors are slammed shut and they're just pounding on them with nobody home to answer
.
To get back to that nightmare that jolted me awake—I rarely dream, and I've only had a few night terrors in my entire life. The reason I'm posting in the middle of the night is because of this specific one, the one where I woke up feeling like I was underwater. In the dream, we were facing off in front of two other people. I confronted her, saying everything I felt, laying it all out there... She looked so stricken with pain, her face just went blank, and she ran into a room and threw herself out a window. I looked out and saw her lying there, lifeless, from such a height. Seeing that broke something inside me. Even now, trying to recount that image, the words just catch in my throat
.
I wanted to share this traumatic late-night experience and ask how you would interpret a dream like this on a spiritual level... and also, how did you handle someone who disappointed you so deeply that you can't even stand the sight of them? Someone who just falls so low you lose all respect? And yet, you know deep down—without even trying to make excuses—that they aren't a saint; they're full of their own wounds and envy, and while they might love you in their own twisted way, they also hate you because you represent something they could never be. That’s how I feel about this Person, someone I've known forever, and despite everything, I don't wish them ill... I actually wish them the best. Her fate in the dream actually moved me to tears, which tells me I still love her, even if she's hit rock bottom in my eyes. I don't feel the need to call her out or explain myself... nothing at all. But even in real life, with her constantly checking up on me and trying to reach out, and now after this dream, it feels like she’s actually repenting. But just as I refuse to engage with her in person because she isn't worth the breath, I don't want to hear from her or see her under any circumstances
.
There’s no doubt about the bias or the gossiping involving that third party, because certain things could only have come from this Person
.
The question I'm left with is: when someone loses your respect this completely, is there ever a way back? And what does that road even look like?

You're getting all emotional over some tragic dream about a woman jumping out a window. Honestly, just ask Jesus what this jerk asking all these questions is actually after... that's where the real mess is.😉

I don't see any sign of remorse here—let alone actual repentance. If she did something wrong to you, you both know it. She's just denying it, and then claiming you're "uncommunicative" as if that's somehow your fault. It's a classic deflection.🙄

It's probably a waste of breath to keep discussing this.

Once someone hits rock bottom like that, there’s no coming back.
And honestly, you shouldn't even bother wasting energy thinking they feel any remorse or are suffering through it.
If they ever do wonder why you cut them off, let's be clear: it’s purely out of pure selfishness and the fact that they've lost their leverage to manipulate you.

Alexander Martinez5 said:Hey everyone, I won't waste your time with a massive intro... It feels weirdly heavy to feel this need to reach out to people who might have walked a similar path at this hour, but honestly, it’s just practical. A nightmare woke me up about half an hour ago. I know it's just my brain processing suppressed disappointment toward someone—someone I didn't even confront in real life because, frankly, once I realized they had betrayed me, I just stayed silent... It was a total backstab. Whether it was jealousy or just a desperate need to cozy up to a third party by dragging my name through the mud, the motive doesn't really matter anymore. They just fell so low in my eyes... it’s that feeling where you aren't even angry enough to yell, you just look at them like some pathetic insect you wouldn't even bother stepping on. Just pure nausea when I think about them. Since we’ve been close basically our whole lives, there are so many connections, and plenty of other people who know both of us... I hear through the grapevine that this Person is struggling because I’m not reaching out, acting "weird" or distant, wondering if something happened to me (nothing bad has happened, thank God!)... they can sense I've pulled away, and they probably know why now. All those lies they told have finally brought the storm right to their own doorstep, realizing the doors are slammed shut and they're just pounding on them with nobody home to answer
.
To get back to that nightmare that jolted me awake—I rarely dream, and I've only had a few night terrors in my entire life. The reason I'm posting in the middle of the night is because of this specific one, the one where I woke up feeling like I was underwater. In the dream, we were facing off in front of two other people. I confronted her, saying everything I felt, laying it all out there... She looked so stricken with pain, her face just went blank, and she ran into a room and threw herself out a window. I looked out and saw her lying there, lifeless, from such a height. Seeing that broke something inside me. Even now, trying to recount that image, the words just catch in my throat
.
I wanted to share this traumatic late-night experience and ask how you would interpret a dream like this on a spiritual level... and also, how did you handle someone who disappointed you so deeply that you can't even stand the sight of them? Someone who just falls so low you lose all respect? And yet, you know deep down—without even trying to make excuses—that they aren't a saint; they're full of their own wounds and envy, and while they might love you in their own twisted way, they also hate you because you represent something they could never be. That’s how I feel about this Person, someone I've known forever, and despite everything, I don't wish them ill... I actually wish them the best. Her fate in the dream actually moved me to tears, which tells me I still love her, even if she's hit rock bottom in my eyes. I don't feel the need to call her out or explain myself... nothing at all. But even in real life, with her constantly checking up on me and trying to reach out, and now after this dream, it feels like she’s actually repenting. But just as I refuse to engage with her in person because she isn't worth the breath, I don't want to hear from her or see her under any circumstances
.
There’s no doubt about the bias or the gossiping involving that third party, because certain things could only have come from this Person
.
The question I'm left with is: when someone loses your respect this completely, is there ever a way back? And what does that road even look like?

There is no coming back, and the path is simple enough..thanks for nothing and goodbye..

Look, this isn't an easy thing to tackle, I know. But honestly, just like pretty much everything else in life, it all boils down to a massive pile of variables and shifting circumstances that eventually narrow down to one single, heavy question: is that person actually capable of moving past what happened, and just how far can they go?
There’s really no such thing as black and white here, not even when it comes to the person who hurt you. You really have to dig into their motives... I mean, maybe they just don't know any better? But if you truly feel like you're standing on a higher moral ground than they are—well, then what's the point of even having them in your life, and wouldn't it be healthier to just walk away? Is it because you've lost that fundamental sense of trust, fearing they'll just pull the same stunt again?
I don't think there's much point in picking at these kinds of topics because there aren't any universal formulas or magic answers to be found. Every situation is its own unique, complicated little world, much like how every single one of us is different. And let's be real, you can bounce back from almost anything... except maybe death... or being a registered member of the Republican Party.

When someone just doesn't click for me, I try my best to pretend they don't exist, as if we've never
crossed paths. I just stop acknowledging them entirely—it’s like wiping them from my memory clean.

Once you hit that point, there's really no turning back. There isn't even an "I'm sorry" that fixes it. Once someone loses all respect in my eyes, I just can't look at them the same way ever again. Honestly, I don't even have the energy to talk to people like that anymore. It’s more like... yeah, you get exactly what's coming to you. Goodbye. Whatever went down, it's buried in the past and I'm done touching it. Like it never even happened...