Understanding today's youth psychology

I’m starting this thread because I’ve reached a point where nothing makes sense anymore. Since I was a kid, it’s been the same old lecture from everyone around me—parents, teachers, whatever. You need straight A's in school, don't touch a cigarette, stay away from drugs, God forbid, behave yourself, pick up a bunch of hobbies, learn foreign languages, stay active in sports, be polite, be smart, listen to "cultured" music, watch "important" movies, do this and do that. Otherwise, you're told you'll end up nowhere and never be happy or satisfied with life...
Then I look around at all these people who followed the script perfectly. They're totally programmed, and honestly? Most of them aren't even happy. Then there's me. People judge me because I drink, I smoke, I go out, I don't have a college degree, and I don't have a list of impressive hobbies. I’m not exactly jumping through hoops to stay busy. But I’ve had great relationships, I have a solid group of friends, and I make decent money—actually, more than some people with Ivy League degrees. I’m completely content. I'm not frustrated. I just live my life how I want to. Meanwhile, these "perfect" types can barely find a date—I mean, they post on social media about how successful and fulfilled they are, yet they can't find anyone. They don't go out, they don't socialize, they don't actually enjoy anything. So, what's the point? Why go through all that effort if it doesn't lead to happiness? I'm not saying it applies to everyone, but I'm curious about the general pattern.
Can someone explain this? I figure some people here might understand the psychology behind it better than I do.

Wait, so you aren't even looking for anything—you're just here to brag?

I’ve been wondering why anyone bothers doing something if it doesn't actually make them happy or feel right. Or is this sub just a place where people dump their problems and expect everyone else to play therapist with their advice?

I don't really see it as though because of the fact that they’re hitting the books, pursuing hobbies, or getting into relationships and marriage that people are struggling. It isn't that simple—there are those (and I'll make an exception for you here) who just drift through life doing absolutely nothing, and naturally, they feel miserable. Then, on the flip side, you have the folks who follow the playbook perfectly and everything seems to click for them.
🤷

bluejackal7 said:I’m starting this thread because I’ve reached a point where nothing makes sense anymore. Since I was a kid, it’s been the same old lecture from everyone around me—parents, teachers, whatever. You need straight A's in school, don't touch a cigarette, stay away from drugs, God forbid, behave yourself, pick up a bunch of hobbies, learn foreign languages, stay active in sports, be polite, be smart, listen to "cultured" music, watch "important" movies, do this and do that. Otherwise, you're told you'll end up nowhere and never be happy or satisfied with life...
Then I look around at all these people who followed the script perfectly. They're totally programmed, and honestly? Most of them aren't even happy. Then there's me. People judge me because I drink, I smoke, I go out, I don't have a college degree, and I don't have a list of impressive hobbies. I’m not exactly jumping through hoops to stay busy. But I’ve had great relationships, I have a solid group of friends, and I make decent money—actually, more than some people with Ivy League degrees. I’m completely content. I'm not frustrated. I just live my life how I want to. Meanwhile, these "perfect" types can barely find a date—I mean, they post on social media about how successful and fulfilled they are, yet they can't find anyone. They don't go out, they don't socialize, they don't actually enjoy anything. So, what's the point? Why go through all that effort if it doesn't lead to happiness? I'm not saying it applies to everyone, but I'm curious about the general pattern.
Can someone explain this? I figure some people here might understand the psychology behind it better than I do.

Something is eating at you and you're just suppressing it. If everything was really okay, you wouldn't be posting on the internet about how happy and satisfied you are, because truly happy and content people don't do that...

bluejackal7 said:I’m starting this thread because I’ve reached a point where nothing makes sense anymore. Since I was a kid, it’s been the same old lecture from everyone around me—parents, teachers, whatever. You need straight A's in school, don't touch a cigarette, stay away from drugs, God forbid, behave yourself, pick up a bunch of hobbies, learn foreign languages, stay active in sports, be polite, be smart, listen to "cultured" music, watch "important" movies, do this and do that. Otherwise, you're told you'll end up nowhere and never be happy or satisfied with life...
Then I look around at all these people who followed the script perfectly. They're totally programmed, and honestly? Most of them aren't even happy. Then there's me. People judge me because I drink, I smoke, I go out, I don't have a college degree, and I don't have a list of impressive hobbies. I’m not exactly jumping through hoops to stay busy. But I’ve had great relationships, I have a solid group of friends, and I make decent money—actually, more than some people with Ivy League degrees. I’m completely content. I'm not frustrated. I just live my life how I want to. Meanwhile, these "perfect" types can barely find a date—I mean, they post on social media about how successful and fulfilled they are, yet they can't find anyone. They don't go out, they don't socialize, they don't actually enjoy anything. So, what's the point? Why go through all that effort if it doesn't lead to happiness? I'm not saying it applies to everyone, but I'm curious about the general pattern.
Can someone explain this? I figure some people here might understand the psychology behind it better than I do.

...but then there's you—unlike those other types, you're young, good-looking, and successful—yet here you are, posting an "ISO a girlfriend" ad on an American forum😬.

bluejackal7 said:I’ve been wondering why anyone bothers doing something if it doesn't actually make them happy or feel right. Or is this sub just a place where people dump their problems and expect everyone else to play therapist with their advice?

Maybe it’s because people are just terrified of stepping outside the lines or failing to meet those societal expectations we all grow up with. There's this deep-seated fear of messing up, of being judged, or feeling like you won't fit in anymore. It’s like everyone is walking on eggshells trying to stay within the "accepted" boundaries.

Take education, for example. In America today, there’s this massive pressure to get a college degree—not necessarily because the country needs more intellectuals, but simply because the narrative is "everyone goes to college, and if you don't, you'll end up stuck in a dead-end job with a tiny paycheck." I was just thinking about how pointless that is; why try to force every single person into the exact same mold when they clearly don't fit?😕
Beyond that, having a degree is often more a testament to someone's grit and persistence than anything else, though I suppose it does help bump up your job prospects and salary—even if wages in the US can feel pretty stagnant regardless.
And it isn't just school. All these other social milestones—things like hobbies, learning second languages, getting married, or starting a family—they aren't even much of an "ideal" anymore. They've become so standardized that they’ve turned into a basic checklist for what a "successful" life looks like.

The only way to really push back against this influence is to be someone who genuinely doesn't care about what the neighbors think, or someone who actually knows exactly what they want out of life (and what they definitely don't).
Everyone else who rebels just for the sake of being a rebel, without any actual goals or direction, isn't really accomplishing anything.
Those folks won't find happiness or fulfillment either, no matter how much they fight the status quo.

So, I don't think it's safe to assume that just because someone breaks the rules, they’re automatically living their best life.

bluejackal7 said:I’m starting this thread because I’ve reached a point where nothing makes sense anymore. Since I was a kid, it’s been the same old lecture from everyone around me—parents, teachers, whatever. You need straight A's in school, don't touch a cigarette, stay away from drugs, God forbid, behave yourself, pick up a bunch of hobbies, learn foreign languages, stay active in sports, be polite, be smart, listen to "cultured" music, watch "important" movies, do this and do that. Otherwise, you're told you'll end up nowhere and never be happy or satisfied with life...
Then I look around at all these people who followed the script perfectly. They're totally programmed, and honestly? Most of them aren't even happy. Then there's me. People judge me because I drink, I smoke, I go out, I don't have a college degree, and I don't have a list of impressive hobbies. I’m not exactly jumping through hoops to stay busy. But I’ve had great relationships, I have a solid group of friends, and I make decent money—actually, more than some people with Ivy League degrees. I’m completely content. I'm not frustrated. I just live my life how I want to. Meanwhile, these "perfect" types can barely find a date—I mean, they post on social media about how successful and fulfilled they are, yet they can't find anyone. They don't go out, they don't socialize, they don't actually enjoy anything. So, what's the point? Why go through all that effort if it doesn't lead to happiness? I'm not saying it applies to everyone, but I'm curious about the general pattern.
Can someone explain this? I figure some people here might understand the psychology behind it better than I do.

They're doing it for the future.
A lot of people pay a massive price today just to secure something for tomorrow.

The ones who think they’ve "made it" by forcing themselves into a specific lifestyle often realize they’re missing things others have. It’s incredibly hard to bridge that gap, and they refuse to admit that the void they feel is actually the price they had to pay to get what they wanted.
That's why I think we see so much frustration from people who meet every societal standard of success but still walk around feeling totally unfulfilled.

bluejackal7 said:I’m starting this thread because I’ve reached a point where nothing makes sense anymore. Since I was a kid, it’s been the same old lecture from everyone around me—parents, teachers, whatever. You need straight A's in school, don't touch a cigarette, stay away from drugs, God forbid, behave yourself, pick up a bunch of hobbies, learn foreign languages, stay active in sports, be polite, be smart, listen to "cultured" music, watch "important" movies, do this and do that. Otherwise, you're told you'll end up nowhere and never be happy or satisfied with life...
Then I look around at all these people who followed the script perfectly. They're totally programmed, and honestly? Most of them aren't even happy. Then there's me. People judge me because I drink, I smoke, I go out, I don't have a college degree, and I don't have a list of impressive hobbies. I’m not exactly jumping through hoops to stay busy. But I’ve had great relationships, I have a solid group of friends, and I make decent money—actually, more than some people with Ivy League degrees. I’m completely content. I'm not frustrated. I just live my life how I want to. Meanwhile, these "perfect" types can barely find a date—I mean, they post on social media about how successful and fulfilled they are, yet they can't find anyone. They don't go out, they don't socialize, they don't actually enjoy anything. So, what's the point? Why go through all that effort if it doesn't lead to happiness? I'm not saying it applies to everyone, but I'm curious about the general pattern.
Can someone explain this? I figure some people here might understand the psychology behind it better than I do.

😍 Nothing personal, it just reminded me of this joke:

Hercegovac wants to get his son a job, so he calls up a "high-ranking government official:"
- No problem at all. I'll get him a spot in Congress, he'll pull in about $6.75 and won't have to lift a finger.
- You know, I'd actually prefer if he did some actual work. Something a bit more modest.
- Fine. I'll make him a Director. He'll get $5.00 and will have to do a little bit of work.
- But I'd really like him to work more, you know, to learn the ropes...
- Alright, alright. Let's make him an Executive Assistant at a corporation; he'll get $3.25 and he'll definitely have plenty to do.
- Still, I'd prefer something a bit lower scale.
- For heaven's sake, how much salary are we talking about here?
- Around $1333.
- Oh, well, that's not going to work. For that kind of money, he's gonna need a college degree.

Tyler Baker6 said:😍 Nothing personal, it just reminded me of this joke:

Hercegovac wants to get his son a job, so he calls up a "high-ranking government official:"
- No problem at all. I'll get him a spot in Congress, he'll pull in about $6.75 and won't have to lift a finger.
- You know, I'd actually prefer if he did some actual work. Something a bit more modest.
- Fine. I'll make him a Director. He'll get $5.00 and will have to do a little bit of work.
- But I'd really like him to work more, you know, to learn the ropes...
- Alright, alright. Let's make him an Executive Assistant at a corporation; he'll get $3.25 and he'll definitely have plenty to do.
- Still, I'd prefer something a bit lower scale.
- For heaven's sake, how much salary are we talking about here?
- Around $1333.
- Oh, well, that's not going to work. For that kind of money, he's gonna need a college degree.

If we weren't talking about Hercegovac, I suppose the joke would be—well, maybe—about 28.3% less funny? 🙄

Eric Gray2 said:Wait, so you aren't even looking for anything—you're just here to brag?

😁😁😁😁😁

There is an old saying for this: "The wise man feels shame, while the fool takes pride." :-)