redridge13 said:My fear is that after all this heavy lifting you're doing, they won't magically become independent learners or decisive adults just because they stepped into a high school hallway. 🤷
Only time will tell, but honestly? I think by hovering this much, you might actually be doing them a massive disservice.
My kid is the same age, and as parents, we barely lift a finger regarding school stuff (aside from the logistics—driving them around, ordering supplies, etc.). We don't hunt down extra materials, we don't collect workbooks, we don't print out practice tests, and we don't obsessively track the curriculum... (I have a surface-level idea of what subjects they're covering, but that's about it).
School is the kid's job. Deciding which extracurriculars to do, picking which competitions to enter, and deciding how much effort to put into studying—that should be on them.
If you want to build actual study habits, you have to start working on it in the lower grades.
From 5th grade onward, in my opinion, you need to let them manage their own study schedules. They need to learn how to gauge how much intensity and time a project requires, how to prioritize, and most importantly, they need to learn how to fail, fix it, and move on.
That's how you build true confidence and security. I really think that through parental drilling and crushing expectations, you usually end up getting the exact opposite.
I would never say something like that to you, nor to anyone else. I don't know you or your child, and I certainly wouldn't dream of predicting a dark future for someone else's kid in such a threatening way. Telling someone "not to worry" while essentially foretelling failure for their child feels quite distasteful to me.🤦 The educational journey is long and full of hurdles.
I was raised to believe that extra studying and acquiring new skills
always pays off. I personally subscribe to the philosophy of lifelong learning, so I have to admit that seeing someone argue the opposite leaves me a bit unsettled, even if you are entitled to your opinion. Generalizations, stereotypes, and biases are unfortunately part of how many people process things. To be honest, it would surprise me if people who make judgments like yours actually wanted to encourage parents who go the extra mile for their children's education. In my experience, most parents try to support their kids and empower them to succeed academically. I genuinely congratulate you on having such a successful, independent child; it's wonderful to hear that you're happy with their progress. I am equally proud of my own child, so thank you for asking. Best of luck to you both, and I hope high school goes just as smoothly for your child as everything else has!🙂
To wrap up, I find it quite surprising how some people can be so mocking, or even openly malicious, in their comments toward children they don't even know—sometimes even judging entire generations. It's one thing to tease a parent, but looking down on another person's child or almost finding joy in their potential struggles and failures is simply sad.
