High School Guide: Admissions, reviews, and advice

Michelle Nelson4 said:Let me give you an example. When my kid was in second grade, they were pulling straight A's in a specific subject without me even knowing what they were studying or how they were being evaluated. They were even participating in competitions! And through all that, three different teachers had cycled through the classroom.
Then, fast forward to eighth grade. Right in the middle of the first semester—and thank goodness we already banked several A's, which turned out to be crucial for the GPA (that "illusion of numbers" that basically dictates where our kids get into high school)—we get a new teacher. Suddenly, the grades drop to B's and C's. At first, I thought, "Okay, no big deal, they'll do better on the next one." But then it was a B. Then a C. Then another C on the next test. Eventually, I went down to the administration office, looked over the actual tests, and had a long talk with someone, and suddenly everything became crystal clear regarding the type of personality we were dealing with here. Since then, before every single test in that subject, my child spends an hour and a half with a private tutor (read: someone who actually knows how to do their job) who explains every little nuance, every trick question—which this new teacher seems to love setting—and just walks them through the material. Now, all of a sudden, the results are back to perfect scores, like 100/100, whereas back in elementary school, they would have been struggling just to pass. And hey, at least they'll have those extra points.

Honestly, I don't care what anyone else thinks. I am 100% convinced the issue lies with the teacher, and there is absolutely no way I'm just sitting back and saying, "Oh well, that's just life," and letting my kid suffer under a broken system.

And she didn't even offer any tutoring?

I mean, a B in PE or even in history or a foreign language can be easily made up by a solid entrance exam score, which can carry up to 10 points. And let's be real, schools like prep academies are still high schoolers—they have to grind through history, languages, and everything else, plus they really need to nail down those study habits. But looking at what Sher says, it seems like kids in those top-tier schools still pull incredibly high GPAs, especially in the most competitive ones. So, I guess they don't actually run into much trouble getting into high school.

Jose Wells3 said:Here’s how I always frame the argument:

If there is just one kid in a class who can actually navigate this broken system and pull top grades without private tutors, constant parental hand-holding, or any extra help—just pure independence—then the system isn't impossible. It just means some people need to actually put in the work, find better study habits, or simply accept that nothing happens without effort.

As for high school? If you aren't independent, you're headed straight for disaster.

But fine, I'll admit it: those were the clients who kept me in business. Once moms realized they could just pay for a tutor to fix their kid's grades, the money started flowing. By Friday, I was usually tipsy and high on their dime. Honestly, I treated myself to plenty of luxuries back then because money was tight. Let them think what they want.

Does that sound condescending? I couldn't care less if it does; it’s just the truth. Real intelligence is about being resourceful when things get messy. Any smart kid spends the first month scanning the teachers, figuring out their personalities, and learning how to play the game. And if a teacher is terrible? Well, everything you need is in the textbook. If someone can't even finish high school by reading the books and managing their own learning, they have zero chance at a university. Period.

Bravo!🙏
I honestly find it hard to believe that sitting at home helping a first grader through various workbooks, or paying for tutors just to secure an A, is considered normal—or even desirable, for that matter. 🤦
No, I’m not making fun of the kids; I never have, and I never will.
I'm making fun of the parents.🙂

I honestly admire anyone with the patience and stamina to work with kids day in and day out, constantly pushing them to reach their potential

Some people seem to forget that even among students, there are plenty who are brilliant and capable, yet incredibly lazy or just plain unmotivated... Back in the day, you had more leeway in choosing a school, but nowadays, that lack of drive or basic organization can come at a very high price

On a different note, regarding this obsession with getting into prep schools—I was recently browsing Reddit and reading advice from software engineers about which schools to choose for kids interested in tech
The consensus is pretty much unanimous: any prep school is better than the best vocational school. Why? Because they provide a broader foundation and perspective; they can always pick up coding at college

Just a thought... why is everyone so hell-bent on those prep schools

skyfall, we’re actually planning to pivot toward vocational options starting next school year

I feel like there’s this really fine line—though maybe it isn't actually that thin—between stepping up to support a child when they truly need it, which is what Michelle Nelson4 did, and treating the child like they're just another project to be managed, which seems to be the vibe from that one user on Reddit who's always saying "there's always room for improvement."

The hype surrounding the idea that this is "the best school in America for the National Exam" 😂
is actually based on data that’s barely four years old—and even then, they didn't even have these specific stats for half of that time.
It's pretty well known that this whole craze really kicked off maybe two or three years ago. Before that, nobody was even talking about it, let alone fighting for a spot in these schools (unless you count one specific institution that's been steady for over 30 years 😁).

There’s a massive difference between being there for your kid when they hit a snag and spending an absolute lifetime obsessing over every single detail of their academic roadmap... to me, that level of hyper-focus on "optimizing" a child's education just feels like parental overreach.
I honestly don't see the upside here, and I can't help but think that this constant "there's always room for improvement" mindset just ends up breeding a lot of unnecessary frustration in a kid...
Always chasing that impossible standard of perfection isn't exactly great for someone's mental health, you know?
It really makes me wonder what kind of person that child might actually become if they weren't being constantly steered by such intense, overwhelming involvement... 🤔

urbantinker8 said:Bravo!🙏
I honestly find it hard to believe that sitting at home helping a first grader through various workbooks, or paying for tutors just to secure an A, is considered normal—or even desirable, for that matter. 🤦
No, I’m not making fun of the kids; I never have, and I never will.
I'm making fun of the parents.🙂

But why do you feel the need to mock anyone at all, urbantinker8?

You are undoubtedly an elementary school teacher. I don't know what your attitude is toward the students and parents in your own school—whether you mock the parents you teach or perhaps even look down on them—but based on what I am reading here, I would not want my child taught by someone who thinks like you, someone who views children through such an "elitist" lens and ridicules their parents. You are being intentionally selective about what I wrote and reducing my experience to something trivial. You are constructing your own version of the "truth" and slapping labels on me. I have told you several times that I am not working with my child just for an A. That probably fits into your "offended professor narrative" since I dared to offer a few critiques. We are studying exclusively so the child becomes more educated, while also compensating for the objective shortcomings present in the school system. I also mentioned that the issues arise during subject-specific instruction starting in fifth grade. And it isn't across all subjects; in fact, it's only a few controversial ones. I have also stated multiple times that my view is if you actually possess the knowledge, getting As comes easily.

Are all parents incapable and aggressive? Are all moms just like Milanović? Does the vast majority of parents fail to recognize or respect their children's unique affinities and talents, or are they mostly just projecting their own complexes and unfulfilled ambitions onto their kids? Who, exactly, are parents to judge the quality of education? Where do they get the right to do so when they are so limited; parents have no clue how the educational system works! Only those of us within the system can truly understand. Most children today are under-capacitated and incapable—they just stare at their phones, they lack socialization, they aren't active in sports, they are disheveled, and they aren't even capable of reading, let alone learning. They aren't even close to where you were, for instance, during your own elementary and high school years, because who was helping you back then? And yet, look at how successful you are now, right? Do all children just want to cheat and get As without effort, caring nothing for actual knowledge? What else can one expect from children when their parents are so intellectually limited? And finally, is it true that only the exceptionally successful and independent children in elementary school are destined for success? 🤦

The path of education is a long one.

Elementary school provides the foundation for life; if you skip that step, the journey becomes significantly more difficult. I do not believe that things cannot be made up—quite the contrary! One can definitely make up for weak knowledge from elementary school later on. I never look at life with the kind of fatalism found among some users here on Reddit. I would certainly never dare to throw out blanket statements like, "these kids are write-offs," "these kids didn't deserve better," "these kids have no business being in prep schools, so whatever," or "these kids will never finish college, how dare they think otherwise!" N-e-v-e-r. I have seen many instances of transformations where those who were deemed "write-offs" in one environment—marginalized or labeled in their classrooms, victims of teacher intolerance or peer bullying, declared unintelligent or doomed to failure—found themselves in a different, positive, and high-quality educational setting where they simply blossomed in every sense, especially academically. Sometimes, all it takes is one wonderful and professional teacher to change a child's entire life path!

Finally, dear urbantinker8, we have to remember that children have been receiving private instruction for centuries, as the whole concept of a tutor actually dates all the way back to ancient times. It is quite fascinating how education began with individual, one-on-one learning long before it ever shifted toward large institutions. Homeschooling has been perfectly legal in many states for a very long time. (I can already see you trying to imply that I am advocating for homeschooling so I can just stay home with my child—and perhaps disappear from Reddit entirely, if that's what you're thinking. 😁 ) If you were to start reading about something like the hagwon system, I suspect there isn't a single social media platform out there capable of expressing the level of shock and disbelief you would show, likely leading you to declare the entire South Korean population to be completely irrational. 😁 Not to mention the massive revolution that both public and private education underwent thanks to our digital age; it was a truly radical and rapid transformation. However, in certain circles, it remains incredibly difficult to shift traditional mindsets because people simply cannot tolerate innovation or different ways of thinking. It is much easier for them to claim that parents are raising mentally unstable children simply because they possess their own ambitious goals. 😁 Yes, I suppose I have just experienced a sudden moment of profound revelation...

You are more than welcome to continue your mockery. ☕

I mean, I read your post, and honestly, it just feels like this massive wave of frustration regarding studying, school, and the whole education system, which I have absolutely no intention of getting into or debating with you.
It’s just that I don't really see eye to eye with your whole modus operandi—you know, the whole thing about paying for extra tutoring for your kid, constant mentoring, coaching, chasing after the most elite private schools, hunting for that perfect GPA, and all that jazz.
Besides, I'm pretty sure you only have one child, because I can't imagine a parent staying this hyper-focused on the "school project" unless they're dealing with just one student. There’s just no way someone could tutor two or more kids this way, especially if they don't even have similar abilities or interests, heaven forbid.

But hey, go ahead and do whatever you think is best, obviously.
And I guess I'll just keep thinking whatever I want about it, too.

stormymarlin22 said:I mean, a B in PE or even in history or a foreign language can be easily made up by a solid entrance exam score, which can carry up to 10 points. And let's be real, schools like prep academies are still high schoolers—they have to grind through history, languages, and everything else, plus they really need to nail down those study habits. But looking at what Sher says, it seems like kids in those top-tier schools still pull incredibly high GPAs, especially in the most competitive ones. So, I guess they don't actually run into much trouble getting into high school.

Nowadays, you can make up ground with the entrance exam. Up until about a year ago, some schools allowed for a different path, though it was tougher—just 5 points from the exam, plus points for medical issues, socioeconomic status, or academic competitions. Even now, the margin is so thin that a kid really has to crush that exam. Those tiny decimals matter, especially when you consider how much grades from 5th and 6th grade can mess up the final ranking.

Regarding American History.
First off, middle schools vary wildly in their standards. After that whole School for Life project and the push for teacher autonomy, the results have shifted; what kids actually learn and what they need to know for a grade 'A' varies. This leads to a massive wave of 'A's that might not actually be earned, or 'B's that would easily be 'A's in a different middle school.
The kids know this.

Secondly, this constant pressure to be "excellent" at absolutely everything is just overkill. Does a programmer really need to be a master of English literature, or is being very good enough? Seriously, "very good" is plenty! Especially when you think about kids who are naturally gifted in math—for them, numbers are a much more intuitive way to express themselves than words. Does a future doctor, who likely goes through a STEM-focused high school, really need to memorize every single historical date perfectly? Or is it okay if they just know them well, or even just okay? (Though, personally, I think it's better if they don't know *too* much, so they don't get caught up in political medicine).

Sure, high school is supposed to provide a broader education, and that's how it should be. But it isn't normal for half a classroom to be perfect at everything. Unless, of course, we've lowered the bar for what "excellence" means.
And I'm afraid we have. At this rate, an 'A' is becoming the new 'C'.

It’s hard to say who actually struggles with the transition to high school. That’s the kind of data SER doesn't provide, so it stays invisible to the average person.
Those are the kids who are studying from dawn till dusk. First, they have to fill the gaps left by their middle school, and then they have to pick up the intense study habits that high school demands. Those kids are out there.
Then there are the kids who just give up and move to "easier" schools.
And then there are the kids who end up seeing a psychiatrist... first in secret, and then later asking for special accommodations in school at the expense of their own well-being. If it's even one child per generation, that's too many.
There are other statistics kids fall into, but I won't go there. A parent really needs to understand their own child's specific needs and personality.
SER gives us averages and the majority view. And it's great when a kid fits right in. But what happens when they don't?

urbantinker8 said:I mean, I read your post, and honestly, it just feels like this massive wave of frustration regarding studying, school, and the whole education system, which I have absolutely no intention of getting into or debating with you.
It’s just that I don't really see eye to eye with your whole modus operandi—you know, the whole thing about paying for extra tutoring for your kid, constant mentoring, coaching, chasing after the most elite private schools, hunting for that perfect GPA, and all that jazz.
Besides, I'm pretty sure you only have one child, because I can't imagine a parent staying this hyper-focused on the "school project" unless they're dealing with just one student. There’s just no way someone could tutor two or more kids this way, especially if they don't even have similar abilities or interests, heaven forbid.

But hey, go ahead and do whatever you think is best, obviously.
And I guess I'll just keep thinking whatever I want about it, too.

Of course, please feel free to think and write whatever you wish; that is precisely what Reddit is here for. My only request is that you refrain from twisting my words here just to validate your own perspective. You seem unable to move past constantly bringing up "chasing the GPA" or "aiming for top-tier schools." Honestly, it is quite a stretch to try and attribute motives to me that aren't there or to label me as a worse mother than you are. You truly are relentless with that. You are entitled to your opinion, and I actually enjoy reading different viewpoints, including yours. I know nothing about you or your child, and since I don't know anyone on this site in real life, I wouldn't dream of predicting a child's future or judging your parenting style or educational methods—whether through Reddit posts or otherwise. I believe most parents simply do what they feel is best given their current circumstances. But yes, it is your democratic right to mock them if you choose.

Some people tend to read a couple of posts from a parent over a two-day period and immediately jump to conclusions, declaring them unstable, frustrated, or overly ambitious, claiming they are mentally destroying their child or abusing them with textbooks, or diagnosing them with OCD and predicting the child will end up in rehab or worse. Oh, please. Give me a break.😁

I think I will go read some other threads; there are plenty of much more useful discussions happening regarding high schools and education than these attempts to label me as a villainous mother who is ruining her child with extra lessons.☕ 😁

redridge13 said:Am I reading this situation right?
So, Mikulicka decided to enroll her kid in some fancy school out in Small Town, USA, even though they don't even live in that district—all because she wanted that prestige factor, knowing full well the kid's primary language is French.
And now, predictably, there’s a massive meltdown happening because the kid is getting mediocre grades in French and suddenly doesn't have enough credits to get into any decent prep school.

I mean, 72 out of 80? Is it really just one subject causing this much of a disaster?

Well, a 72 isn't actually a bad score at all; those are averages around a 3.6 or 3.7, which is plenty if you're just dealing with a few Bs in some of the core subjects.

The National Exam results are frankly disastrous regarding actual knowledge; if we went by them, we wouldn't even have 10% of the honors students in the entire US.
I sincerely hope the National viewing numbers are taken into account during admissions, because the projected number of students hitting a 4.0 GPA is becoming truly unrealistic.

I am also in favor of implementing National Exams. Under our current circumstances, I honestly cannot think of any other reliable method to truly assess a child's level of knowledge. We need standardized tests across the entire United States to get an accurate picture. It remains a mystery to me why these National Exam materials are kept so secretive, to the point where even professors aren't allowed to see them; everything ought to be fully transparent and publicly accessible. Furthermore, if a specific school wants to implement stricter or higher standards alongside the national assessments, they should certainly introduce their own entrance exams. We could simply follow the model used by universities. While this might introduce additional stress and uncertainty for students and parents, it would drastically reduce the number of inflated grades and ease the pressure on certain institutions. Ultimately, parents would gain meaningful insights into teacher performance and overall school success. If children in a particular grade consistently show high proficiency in one subject but struggle significantly with another year after year, the underlying issue becomes quite easy to detect. I am confident that everyone would put in more effort if this were the case.

Another option would be to expand school capacities, though that is clearly an unrealistic expectation in today's climate. When you have an excellent school with top-tier professors, the logical step would be to increase class sizes to allow more children access to that education, rather than continuing to fund programs that no students are actually interested in attending. However, such a move would necessitate drastic changes to our educational system, and I highly doubt any administration would dare to touch the established programs and systems that have been in place for decades.

Susan James said:Nowadays, you can make up ground with the entrance exam. Up until about a year ago, some schools allowed for a different path, though it was tougher—just 5 points from the exam, plus points for medical issues, socioeconomic status, or academic competitions. Even now, the margin is so thin that a kid really has to crush that exam. Those tiny decimals matter, especially when you consider how much grades from 5th and 6th grade can mess up the final ranking.

Regarding American History.
First off, middle schools vary wildly in their standards. After that whole School for Life project and the push for teacher autonomy, the results have shifted; what kids actually learn and what they need to know for a grade 'A' varies. This leads to a massive wave of 'A's that might not actually be earned, or 'B's that would easily be 'A's in a different middle school.
The kids know this.

Secondly, this constant pressure to be "excellent" at absolutely everything is just overkill. Does a programmer really need to be a master of English literature, or is being very good enough? Seriously, "very good" is plenty! Especially when you think about kids who are naturally gifted in math—for them, numbers are a much more intuitive way to express themselves than words. Does a future doctor, who likely goes through a STEM-focused high school, really need to memorize every single historical date perfectly? Or is it okay if they just know them well, or even just okay? (Though, personally, I think it's better if they don't know *too* much, so they don't get caught up in political medicine).

Sure, high school is supposed to provide a broader education, and that's how it should be. But it isn't normal for half a classroom to be perfect at everything. Unless, of course, we've lowered the bar for what "excellence" means.
And I'm afraid we have. At this rate, an 'A' is becoming the new 'C'.

It’s hard to say who actually struggles with the transition to high school. That’s the kind of data SER doesn't provide, so it stays invisible to the average person.
Those are the kids who are studying from dawn till dusk. First, they have to fill the gaps left by their middle school, and then they have to pick up the intense study habits that high school demands. Those kids are out there.
Then there are the kids who just give up and move to "easier" schools.
And then there are the kids who end up seeing a psychiatrist... first in secret, and then later asking for special accommodations in school at the expense of their own well-being. If it's even one child per generation, that's too many.
There are other statistics kids fall into, but I won't go there. A parent really needs to understand their own child's specific needs and personality.
SER gives us averages and the majority view. And it's great when a kid fits right in. But what happens when they don't?

I think you're blowing things out of proportion; there are plenty of kids who transition to high school without any issues, without studying day and night, or ending up in therapy.
I know a kid who came from a pretty rough middle school—bad neighborhood, zero structure—and ended up at one of the most prestigious high schools in Washington, D.C.
On the initial placement exams, this kid was one of the best, even outperforming the "legacy" kids from wealthy families and elite private schools.
In the end, they breezed through high school, finishing as one of the top three students in the class.
Nothing extra was done during middle school, and they didn't even go to private tutors.
So, it really comes down to the individual kid. Based on their background and social status, this student shouldn't have stood a chance.
What that kid actually lacked was confidence during testing compared to the loud, arrogant kids who walked in acting like they owned the place (even though they had zero foundation).

Benjamin Johnson7 said:Well, a 72 isn't actually a bad score at all; those are averages around a 3.6 or 3.7, which is plenty if you're just dealing with a few Bs in some of the core subjects.

The National Exam results are frankly disastrous regarding actual knowledge; if we went by them, we wouldn't even have 10% of the honors students in the entire US.
I sincerely hope the National viewing numbers are taken into account during admissions, because the projected number of students hitting a 4.0 GPA is becoming truly unrealistic.

72 isn't terrible, but unfortunately, it's not enough for most of the major high schools in Washington, D.C.
I don't think high schools in any other American city have entry thresholds like this.

Michelle Nelson4 said:The hype surrounding the idea that this is "the best school in America for the National Exam" 😂
is actually based on data that’s barely four years old—and even then, they didn't even have these specific stats for half of that time.
It's pretty well known that this whole craze really kicked off maybe two or three years ago. Before that, nobody was even talking about it, let alone fighting for a spot in these schools (unless you count one specific institution that's been steady for over 30 years 😁).

Sure, some schools definitely hold onto a certain "tradition" of excellence. They have their own track records with competitions, college acceptance rates, and famous alumni. There's no denying that.
Parents who graduated from those "top-tier" institutions often have a tendency to send their kids to the exact same schools. And honestly, that’s been a reality for over 30 years. In my own class, there was a kid whose mom went to that school, and even her grandma! It was a whole crowd of students whose parents were former alumni or even teachers; I'm talking about a high school here.
Some people are just too critical. For others, following that path is just a natural, expected family tradition... so please, don't be completely dismissive of it either. It was the same way back in my day.

Washington, D.C. has grown significantly. There are more people interested in high schools now simply because there are more of them concentrated in the same area (it doesn't mean fewer kids are being born; it's more about people moving in from the suburbs), combined with this intense pressure for higher education where people act like anything other than a prestigious high school is a failure.

How did families from outside Washington, D.C. choose a high school for their child? How did they decide before this national ranking system existed (as you mentioned, it hasn't been around long)? How did they pick in 2003, 2010, or 2013—back when this scoring method was introduced to replace entrance exams because there was already a massive influx of straight-A students who didn't actually have the depth to back it up?

I didn't have kids in school during those specific years, but I have worked with children and moved in circles with parents of school-aged kids. I've overheard all sorts of nonsense regarding why they chose one school over another... You might say it's just hearsay, but it's the truth. When you look at things from the other side of the statistics, this current "scientific" ranking system feels just as irrelevant as it was back then... or perhaps even more damaging for a kid wondering why everyone in that top table could make the cut while they couldn't.
A lot of parents can't handle that, so they push their kids in all sorts of ways (watching what their colleagues do, listening to rumors, pressuring teachers, or even begging for lowered standards...).
It isn't just unfair to the student; it's a disservice to the kids who miss out because of a tiny decimal point. It's a disservice to a system that isn't quite right because it raised the bar so artificially high. You can see in this thread how parents themselves are essentially feeding this broken system, allowing it to swell under the guise of "excellence."

Nothing is truly different today than it was at the turn of the century or in 2013; it's just that the madness started in 5th grade instead of 7th. And now, we have the direct result of the former Secretary's policies, laid out in black and white with colorful charts, claiming you *must* attend certain schools because the national exam is everything... screw actual knowledge, and especially screw mental health.

On the flip side, since this ranking system exists, it can actually be useful to encourage a child who didn't make it into a "top" high school. It shows them that if they work hard at their school, they can still get into a great college and that all is not lost... Knowledge matters, and most universities accept students from all kinds of different high schools, which the rankings clearly show.

Sometimes, it's just about having a single shift, a great cafeteria with decent meals (🙄), a school right around the corner, or cool exchange programs and trips... Aside from things being subject to change (like after an earthquake or a pandemic), kids often care less about the prestige than we think. It's good to listen to them, maybe even just hear them out and support them. Some kids are willing to commute two hours just to get away from their neighborhood, while others desperately want to stay close to home and hate being driven around by their parents. And that's perfectly okay, provided the parent has the capacity to accept it.

redridge13 said:I think you're blowing things out of proportion; there are plenty of kids who transition to high school without any issues, without studying day and night, or ending up in therapy.
I know a kid who came from a pretty rough middle school—bad neighborhood, zero structure—and ended up at one of the most prestigious high schools in Washington, D.C.
On the initial placement exams, this kid was one of the best, even outperforming the "legacy" kids from wealthy families and elite private schools.
In the end, they breezed through high school, finishing as one of the top three students in the class.
Nothing extra was done during middle school, and they didn't even go to private tutors.
So, it really comes down to the individual kid. Based on their background and social status, this student shouldn't have stood a chance.
What that kid actually lacked was confidence during testing compared to the loud, arrogant kids who walked in acting like they owned the place (even though they had zero foundation).

72 isn't terrible, but unfortunately, it's not enough for most of the major high schools in Washington, D.C.
I don't think high schools in any other American city have entry thresholds like this.

I'm not exaggerating at all. In fact, your example just proves that the SER is useless when it comes to evaluating a struggling middle school.
And honestly, those types of kids *should* be getting into the "better" schools.
That’s why I believe the entrance exam should be conducted by the actual school you're applying to.
Forget about these standardized National Exams and all that nonsense.

Dennis Alvarez2 said:Of course, please feel free to think and write whatever you wish; that is precisely what Reddit is here for. My only request is that you refrain from twisting my words here just to validate your own perspective. You seem unable to move past constantly bringing up "chasing the GPA" or "aiming for top-tier schools." Honestly, it is quite a stretch to try and attribute motives to me that aren't there or to label me as a worse mother than you are. You truly are relentless with that. You are entitled to your opinion, and I actually enjoy reading different viewpoints, including yours. I know nothing about you or your child, and since I don't know anyone on this site in real life, I wouldn't dream of predicting a child's future or judging your parenting style or educational methods—whether through Reddit posts or otherwise. I believe most parents simply do what they feel is best given their current circumstances. But yes, it is your democratic right to mock them if you choose.

Some people tend to read a couple of posts from a parent over a two-day period and immediately jump to conclusions, declaring them unstable, frustrated, or overly ambitious, claiming they are mentally destroying their child or abusing them with textbooks, or diagnosing them with OCD and predicting the child will end up in rehab or worse. Oh, please. Give me a break.😁

I think I will go read some other threads; there are plenty of much more useful discussions happening regarding high schools and education than these attempts to label me as a villainous mother who is ruining her child with extra lessons.☕ 😁

You're misinterpreting my posts. I try to be very clear about what I think, so there really shouldn't be any need for reading between the lines or intentional misinterpretations, let alone attributing things to me that were never written.
I'm not getting worked up over anyone because I'm fairly confident in myself and how I'm raising my kid, so it doesn't really occur to me to compare myself to anyone, especially here on Reddit with anonymous users I know nothing about beyond what they choose to type.
I didn't say any of the things you're caricaturing. What I actually think is that you might be overdoing it with this whole academic project, giving the impression that your entire lives revolve around school assignments and tasks for "those who want to know more." Maybe I did misread your posts, I don't know.
But this whole thing about buying extra textbooks just so a child can be prepared for three state-level competitions seems pretty wild to me.

Susan James said:I'm not exaggerating at all. In fact, your example just proves that the SER is useless when it comes to evaluating a struggling middle school.
And honestly, those types of kids *should* be getting into the "better" schools.
That’s why I believe the entrance exam should be conducted by the actual school you're applying to.
Forget about these standardized National Exams and all that nonsense.

You mentioned earlier that there aren't any kids who don't struggle when transitioning to high school.
- Give me a break. There are plenty of kids who breeze through without the midnight cram sessions, the mental breakdowns, or parents losing their minds.

If we had actual entrance exams—instead of this current mess—my kid would have been able to enroll in the school they actually wanted. Instead, they got placed based on a GPA that shouldn't carry nearly as much weight, especially when you consider how inflated grades can be at some fancy private prep school in downtown Manhattan compared to elsewhere.🙂

And let me tell you, speaking as a parent of kids who didn't get into their first-choice schools, I have heard it a thousand times. I've dealt with people being incredibly condescending, claiming my "golden child" took a spot away from some kid from a rough neighborhood or a tiny rural town outside of Philly, with comments like, "Well, we all know what kind of grading standards they have over there," and other such garbage.

Honestly, I totally agree with you—going back to localized entrance exams is the only fair way to handle this.🙂

Kate Jackson4 said:I honestly admire anyone with the patience and stamina to work with kids day in and day out, constantly pushing them to reach their potential

Some people seem to forget that even among students, there are plenty who are brilliant and capable, yet incredibly lazy or just plain unmotivated... Back in the day, you had more leeway in choosing a school, but nowadays, that lack of drive or basic organization can come at a very high price

On a different note, regarding this obsession with getting into prep schools—I was recently browsing Reddit and reading advice from software engineers about which schools to choose for kids interested in tech
The consensus is pretty much unanimous: any prep school is better than the best vocational school. Why? Because they provide a broader foundation and perspective; they can always pick up coding at college

Just a thought... why is everyone so hell-bent on those prep schools

skyfall, we’re actually planning to pivot toward vocational options starting next school year

I just finished showing this all to my husband—he’s a software engineer.
He agreed. I didn't. I’m looking at this through the eyes of a kid who actually wants to code—someone hungry for hands-on exercises and real practical experience. Telling a kid like that, "Actually, you should spend four years in high school studying Latin, music theory, and art instead of computer networks, algorithms, or databases, and then just wait until college to finally do what you love," feels counterproductive to me. It's just a waste of time.

And what happens if those kids just hit a wall? If they struggle through even the best prep schools and end up missing out on their dream colleges? There’s an insane amount of pressure at places like MIT. It's relentless.

So, after we finished talking, we headed over to the digital mine to scope things out. Turns out, the MIT programs saw the highest enrollment numbers, specifically pulling from schools like Lincoln High and Westside Prep. As for the vocational kids, most were coming out of the local technical colleges and the big trade school over in Chicago.

My kid is still just an elementary schooler, but he’s already convinced himself he wants to be a programmer. Honestly, I’d much rather see him skip the prep school route entirely. If he doesn't make it through a top-tier university, at least he'll have a trade to fall back on. 🕺

Susan Martin4 said:I just finished showing this all to my husband—he’s a software engineer.
He agreed. I didn't. I’m looking at this through the eyes of a kid who actually wants to code—someone hungry for hands-on exercises and real practical experience. Telling a kid like that, "Actually, you should spend four years in high school studying Latin, music theory, and art instead of computer networks, algorithms, or databases, and then just wait until college to finally do what you love," feels counterproductive to me. It's just a waste of time.

And what happens if those kids just hit a wall? If they struggle through even the best prep schools and end up missing out on their dream colleges? There’s an insane amount of pressure at places like MIT. It's relentless.

So, after we finished talking, we headed over to the digital mine to scope things out. Turns out, the MIT programs saw the highest enrollment numbers, specifically pulling from schools like Lincoln High and Westside Prep. As for the vocational kids, most were coming out of the local technical colleges and the big trade school over in Chicago.

My kid is still just an elementary schooler, but he’s already convinced himself he wants to be a programmer. Honestly, I’d much rather see him skip the prep school route entirely. If he doesn't make it through a top-tier university, at least he'll have a trade to fall back on. 🕺

Right now, there is actually a specialized technical school near the University of Florida that offers a web programming track. The students say it’s an excellent program, and quite a few kids are showing interest in enrolling...