Flying says:Look, maybe I’m totally off base here—and honestly, feel free to call me out if I am—but I can't be the only one thinking this. I really wouldn't advise anyone to just go wide open and lay all their cards on the table without having a clue who they're dealing with first. It’s risky business. Now, sure, if you’re one of those extreme extroverts—the kind of people who could strike up a conversation with a brick wall and make it feel like a party—then maybe that "open book" approach works for you. You thrive on that instant connection with people who vibe on your level. But for the rest of us? For anyone who isn't constantly hunting for a crowd? Doing that is basically just handing over your secrets for nothing. You end up with zero leverage and even less to show for it.
Look, you aren't some lone outlier here—you’re definitely not the only one thinking this way. Honestly, if we all had the exact same opinions on everything, life would be pretty damn boring, wouldn't it? We don't all see eye to eye, and frankly, that’s perfectly fine by me. It’s just how it works. 🙂 Look, if I’m being completely honest—and I mean totally transparent here—I definitely shut certain people out. I’ll turn them away without a second thought. But for the most part? My experiences have been pretty good. It just seems like I naturally gravitate toward people who operate on my same wavelength—you know, the ones who "get it"—and you actually hit the nail on the head earlier when you mentioned how important that connection is.
Look, there’s a massive difference here—it’s night and day. When you first start getting to know someone, you don't just dive into the deep end, right? That would be crazy. Most people stick to the light stuff at first—hobbies, movies, whatever—just casual conversation to see how the other person actually "breathes." It’s like a vibe check, really. You’re basically testing the waters to see if your personalities even mesh before you commit to anything deeper. It’s only after that foundation of basic trust is built—once you know they aren't a total weirdo—that you start opening up about the more intimate, personal details of your life. You wouldn't hand your social security number to a stranger at a Starbucks, would you? It just doesn't work that way.
Look, I get it. But honestly? It all boils down to how you view trust. Personally, I’m the type who gives people my full confidence right out of the gate—I'll trust anyone until they give me a damn good reason not to. And usually, that works out fine because most people actually value being trusted like that, so they don't want to mess it up. It’s like when a boss gives you total autonomy; you don't want to be the one to prove them wrong, right? So, people tend to protect that trust because it's rare.
Look, I really don't have the patience to play these social games—you know, the whole thing where you spend weeks, months, maybe even years tip-toeing around people just to finally be real with them? It’s exhausting. Honestly, life moves too fast for that kind of hesitation. I value my time way too much to spend it holding back or filtering myself just to fit some unspoken rule about "getting to know someone" slowly. If I’m hanging out with people, I want to be all in—completely transparent, totally open, and ready to dive into the deep end right away. I want to squeeze every bit of enjoyment out of every single moment, and if I'm having a blast, I want to share that energy with everyone else around me without any of the usual hesitation or awkward buildup. Life's too short for the slow burn.
I’ve gotta say it—people who dump their entire life story on me within five minutes of meeting? I just don't take them seriously. Honestly. If they’re willing to spill all their guts to a total stranger like that, it tells me they don't really understand the concept of boundaries—or worse, they don't see any difference between a casual acquaintance and someone they've known for a decade. It’s like they have this "all or nothing" setting where everyone gets the same level of intimacy right out of the gate, regardless of whether we’ve shared years of history or just grabbed a coffee once. To me, that’s a massive red flag. That isn't the kind of person I want as a close friend. Actually, scratch that—I don't want them in my inner circle at all.
I honestly don't get what the big deal is—why on earth would you wait years just to truly "get" someone when you could build that bond in a matter of weeks? Life moves fast, people change, and opportunities have a nasty habit of vanishing if you sit around waiting for the perfect moment. Think about it this way—let’s say you play it safe and only really connect with someone after ten years of knowing them. Then, suddenly, that person packs up and moves halfway across the country—like moving from New York to Seattle or somewhere just as far away—and now you're lucky if you see them once or twice a year. Was it worth it? Is it better to spend those first ten years just being casual acquaintances, or wouldn't it be much better to actually dive in and enjoy a deep friendship for the full decade? I mean, why waste the time?
I honestly hold everyone in the same high regard—and I mean that sincerely. It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about a total stranger you pass on a sidewalk in Chicago or a lifelong friend you’ve known since grade school. Every single person carries this massive, untapped potential to shift the trajectory of our lives—if we actually let them, that is. It’s all about whether you leave the door open or not, really.
If he’s just going to toss his secrets around that casually, I wouldn't trust him to watch my dog for five minutes, let alone handle anything important.
Look, let’s get one thing straight—being an open book doesn't mean you're some kind of loose cannon when it comes to loyalty. People act like honesty and keeping your mouth shut about a friend's business are the same thing, but they aren't even in the same zip code. It’s a total misconception. I know all kinds of people—some of them are incredibly private, almost guarded, and won't tell you a single thing about their own lives until they really trust you. But then you have those other types who just can't help themselves; they'll gossip about everyone from their neighbors to their coworkers at Starbucks before you even finish your morning coffee. And don't get it twisted—there are plenty of folks out there who are completely transparent about their own mess—they'll tell you everything under the sun about themselves—but when it comes to a friend's secret? They’re like a vault. They can be totally candid about their own lives while still being the most reliable people you know. Honesty isn't about spilling everyone else's tea; it's about being real about yourself.
