How society views people with disabilities

So, I have muscular dystrophy. I’m not sure how many of you are actually familiar with the condition, but frankly, it doesn't matter. In my case, it is a heavy, agonizing burden. I am mobile and relatively independent, though I can't handle anything remotely strenuous—lifting something heavy or getting up from a squat without bracing myself against the floor or grabbing onto furniture is out of the question. That is my reality. Because my muscle weakness causes secondary issues with my joints and tendons, my disability is visible. Physically, I look perfectly fine, but when I walk, I waddle, and my feet drop like a duck's. There is nothing I can do about it. Not that I’m intentionally shaking my ass at everyone passing by, but anyone watching would notice.
That is why I’ve become terrified of going anywhere alone. My troubles really started back when I was living in a dorm during high school. It wasn't just kids; adults would shout all sorts of filth at me. They'd claim I had soiled myself, call me a wreck, or suggest I was some slutty girl looking for attention by "flaunting" myself. I heard those comments almost every single time I ventured out solo. Once, I even overheard a group—they probably thought I wouldn't hear them because I had headphones in—saying someone should grab me in an alleyway and rape me because of the way I walk. Another time, an old man actually charged at me on a bicycle and told me he did it because it was what I deserved for "mocking" people with my gait. (Though I honestly have no idea who I could possibly be mocking.)
And it hasn't just been verbal abuse. On several occasions, I have been physically struck in the park simply because of how I walk, right in broad daylight.
Because of this, walking alone has become a source of genuine fear. If I go out, I bring my mother or my boyfriend along; then, suddenly, everyone stays quiet. Sometimes I will drive my car just ten yards to avoid being seen walking. If I absolutely have to walk, I put my headphones in and blast music at max volume just so I don't have to hear the insults.
Whenever I have tried to snap back at an insulting comment, the situation escalates into threats or senseless outbursts.
Since I own my own car and carry a legal disability placard, I use the designated parking spots. A few times now, someone has actually run over to the parking enforcement officer to report that a "young, healthy girl" was using someone else's permit.
There are plenty of other indignities, but I’ve reached my breaking point. I’m rambling, and frankly, I’m scared for my life. No one ever stops to consider that I walk this way because of a medical condition; they just assume I’m some girl looking for trouble or that I'm being lazy while climbing stairs.
Sometimes, I feel like giving up on walking entirely and just switching to a wheelchair. But if I stop walking, I’ll lose the ability to stand at all.
I have considered buying a stun gun. If someone makes a comment about my walk, they can get a shot to the ribs. Given how much pain I endure daily because of my disease, they can certainly handle a little pain of their own.
What kind of society are we living in? Is being sick a privilege reserved only for the elderly?

Look, you only get one shot at this life, so please, keep that in mind—the only thing they actually share with you is the fact that everyone eventually ends up in the ground.
That’s why I say you really ought to give yourself a little breathing room and just elegantly tell them where to shove it, without letting their fake sense of superiority make you feel small or intimidated.
Even when it feels like everything is totally rigged against you, things have a way of working themselves out in the end.

Don't let them mess with your head or make you doubt your own worth by reacting to their provocations with an inferiority complex, even if you're feeling completely paralyzed by the situation.

And honestly, regarding the fact that they've made you their target for ridicule? Just feel genuine pity for those losers. They’re only taking it out on you because someone else is doing the exact same thing to them.

rowdypanther13 said:So, I have muscular dystrophy. I’m not sure how many of you are actually familiar with the condition, but frankly, it doesn't matter. In my case, it is a heavy, agonizing burden. I am mobile and relatively independent, though I can't handle anything remotely strenuous—lifting something heavy or getting up from a squat without bracing myself against the floor or grabbing onto furniture is out of the question. That is my reality. Because my muscle weakness causes secondary issues with my joints and tendons, my disability is visible. Physically, I look perfectly fine, but when I walk, I waddle, and my feet drop like a duck's. There is nothing I can do about it. Not that I’m intentionally shaking my ass at everyone passing by, but anyone watching would notice.
That is why I’ve become terrified of going anywhere alone. My troubles really started back when I was living in a dorm during high school. It wasn't just kids; adults would shout all sorts of filth at me. They'd claim I had soiled myself, call me a wreck, or suggest I was some slutty girl looking for attention by "flaunting" myself. I heard those comments almost every single time I ventured out solo. Once, I even overheard a group—they probably thought I wouldn't hear them because I had headphones in—saying someone should grab me in an alleyway and rape me because of the way I walk. Another time, an old man actually charged at me on a bicycle and told me he did it because it was what I deserved for "mocking" people with my gait. (Though I honestly have no idea who I could possibly be mocking.)
And it hasn't just been verbal abuse. On several occasions, I have been physically struck in the park simply because of how I walk, right in broad daylight.
Because of this, walking alone has become a source of genuine fear. If I go out, I bring my mother or my boyfriend along; then, suddenly, everyone stays quiet. Sometimes I will drive my car just ten yards to avoid being seen walking. If I absolutely have to walk, I put my headphones in and blast music at max volume just so I don't have to hear the insults.
Whenever I have tried to snap back at an insulting comment, the situation escalates into threats or senseless outbursts.
Since I own my own car and carry a legal disability placard, I use the designated parking spots. A few times now, someone has actually run over to the parking enforcement officer to report that a "young, healthy girl" was using someone else's permit.
There are plenty of other indignities, but I’ve reached my breaking point. I’m rambling, and frankly, I’m scared for my life. No one ever stops to consider that I walk this way because of a medical condition; they just assume I’m some girl looking for trouble or that I'm being lazy while climbing stairs.
Sometimes, I feel like giving up on walking entirely and just switching to a wheelchair. But if I stop walking, I’ll lose the ability to stand at all.
I have considered buying a stun gun. If someone makes a comment about my walk, they can get a shot to the ribs. Given how much pain I endure daily because of my disease, they can certainly handle a little pain of their own.
What kind of society are we living in? Is being sick a privilege reserved only for the elderly?

I am so incredibly sorry.😢 I know what that disease is, and unfortunately, it tends to be progressive. We are just a wild, primitive, and uneducated bunch. That’s the environment we live in.
All those people who write our laws really ought to spend a day wearing a blindfold. Let them try navigating the streets and see what blind or visually impaired people deal with. They should be put in wheelchairs, too, just to see what it's like. Mocking someone's physical limitations is low, bottom-of-the-barrel behavior, and it says everything about a person's character.
Sadly, it looks like your only options are having your mom or boyfriend accompany you, or just driving everywhere.
I deal with agoraphobia and panic attacks, so when people see me struggling, they tend to get nervous—almost like they’re afraid my anxiety might be contagious.🙄

Michelle Evans said:Inciting any kind of physical violence as a valid way to settle a dispute isn't permitted on this forum. If you think you can steer a discussion in that direction, I won't just be deleting posts anymore... I'll be issuing bans and locking threads immediately.

I wasn't suggesting violence. My intention was to address the broader societal attitude toward people facing challenges—beyond just my own situation. Perhaps it serves as a warning against jumping to conclusions. In this instance, for example, there seems to be an assumption that because I have a disability and walk differently, I should simply sit there and absorb the rudeness of those around me.
And I am certainly not the only one dealing with issues like this.

I am so incredibly sorry you're dealing with this... honestly, I know kids and teenagers can be brutal with their comments, but I didn't think adults could be this primitive and disgusting... we're pathetic 👎

I don't even know what to say... normally I'd just tell you to keep your head up and ignore the idiots, but after reading what you wrote (about the physical abuse), I'm actually speechless

But look, get that idea out of your head—the part about throwing yourself under a car or whatever. Don't ever make life-altering decisions based on these morons and total losers (sorry if I'm being harsh, but I really don't know what else to call people like them 🤷 ))

And one question... why are people so cruel? Why mock someone for a disability or a physical flaw when I've never heard of anyone making fun of someone who lost a leg in a car accident

Anthony Foster17 said:I am so incredibly sorry you're dealing with this... honestly, I know kids and teenagers can be brutal with their comments, but I didn't think adults could be this primitive and disgusting... we're pathetic 👎

I don't even know what to say... normally I'd just tell you to keep your head up and ignore the idiots, but after reading what you wrote (about the physical abuse), I'm actually speechless

But look, get that idea out of your head—the part about throwing yourself under a car or whatever. Don't ever make life-altering decisions based on these morons and total losers (sorry if I'm being harsh, but I really don't know what else to call people like them 🤷 ))

And one question... why are people so cruel? Why mock someone for a disability or a physical flaw when I've never heard of anyone making fun of someone who lost a leg in a car accident

Honestly, it's because we're basically primitive. It feels like we're all still operating on the level of some unruly mob from the Middle Ages. 🙄

rowdypanther13 said:So, I have muscular dystrophy. I’m not sure how many of you are actually familiar with the condition, but frankly, it doesn't matter. In my case, it is a heavy, agonizing burden. I am mobile and relatively independent, though I can't handle anything remotely strenuous—lifting something heavy or getting up from a squat without bracing myself against the floor or grabbing onto furniture is out of the question. That is my reality. Because my muscle weakness causes secondary issues with my joints and tendons, my disability is visible. Physically, I look perfectly fine, but when I walk, I waddle, and my feet drop like a duck's. There is nothing I can do about it. Not that I’m intentionally shaking my ass at everyone passing by, but anyone watching would notice.
That is why I’ve become terrified of going anywhere alone. My troubles really started back when I was living in a dorm during high school. It wasn't just kids; adults would shout all sorts of filth at me. They'd claim I had soiled myself, call me a wreck, or suggest I was some slutty girl looking for attention by "flaunting" myself. I heard those comments almost every single time I ventured out solo. Once, I even overheard a group—they probably thought I wouldn't hear them because I had headphones in—saying someone should grab me in an alleyway and rape me because of the way I walk. Another time, an old man actually charged at me on a bicycle and told me he did it because it was what I deserved for "mocking" people with my gait. (Though I honestly have no idea who I could possibly be mocking.)
And it hasn't just been verbal abuse. On several occasions, I have been physically struck in the park simply because of how I walk, right in broad daylight.
Because of this, walking alone has become a source of genuine fear. If I go out, I bring my mother or my boyfriend along; then, suddenly, everyone stays quiet. Sometimes I will drive my car just ten yards to avoid being seen walking. If I absolutely have to walk, I put my headphones in and blast music at max volume just so I don't have to hear the insults.
Whenever I have tried to snap back at an insulting comment, the situation escalates into threats or senseless outbursts.
Since I own my own car and carry a legal disability placard, I use the designated parking spots. A few times now, someone has actually run over to the parking enforcement officer to report that a "young, healthy girl" was using someone else's permit.
There are plenty of other indignities, but I’ve reached my breaking point. I’m rambling, and frankly, I’m scared for my life. No one ever stops to consider that I walk this way because of a medical condition; they just assume I’m some girl looking for trouble or that I'm being lazy while climbing stairs.
Sometimes, I feel like giving up on walking entirely and just switching to a wheelchair. But if I stop walking, I’ll lose the ability to stand at all.
I have considered buying a stun gun. If someone makes a comment about my walk, they can get a shot to the ribs. Given how much pain I endure daily because of my disease, they can certainly handle a little pain of their own.
What kind of society are we living in? Is being sick a privilege reserved only for the elderly?

Good grief.😲

I am fully aware that the way American society treats people with disabilities is an absolute catastrophe—you only have to look at how poorly our cities are designed for accessibility 👎—but for someone to actually endure such depravity... I honestly don't even know what to say. I am utterly appalled. It is horrific.😢

Now, let me compose myself for a moment...

Of course you aren't going to just stop walking and switch to a wheelchair because of these incidents. No matter how monstrous they are, you shouldn't feel pressured to resort to carrying a taser just to deal with every primitive idiot you encounter. Ultimately, given the health struggles you are already facing, you are forced to fight a two-front war: one against your own condition and another against a society fueled by misunderstanding, sheer stupidity, and total lack of decency. But that is the reality of your situation—this is the environment you are navigating. If you find that things are manageable when you are surrounded by your own community, then try to adapt your life to ensure that happens more often. In other words, since you can't change who you are or fix the entire world, you have to find the path of least resistance. That means seeking out the company of close friends or family whenever you head out. It isn't always feasible, but you should strive to have an escort whenever possible.

I’ve endured my fair share of heckling and ridicule myself, so I empathize with your situation.

My small contribution is this: I am teaching my child to be open to differences. I make sure they never, ever hurt anyone with harsh words just because someone looks different or lives with a disability. It isn't much, but if everyone raised their children with that kind of clarity, these issues would vanish within a few generations.

It really all comes down to who’s doing the talking rather than what they’re actually saying. You shouldn't waste even a second of your time dwelling on comments from people like that—don't let them get under your skin. They're nothing but losers, honestly. 🤷

I’m honestly just swimming in questions today, but here’s another one for the group. First off, rowdypanther13, I am so sorry you keep running into those total idiots; it's like they don't have a single brain cell between them, because if they actually did, they probably wouldn't act like that.

It’s kind of embarrassing to admit, but I think I only really realized yesterday—I'm not even sure why it took until yesterday specifically—that the streets, the squares, and the schools in this city I live in aren't really set up for people with disabilities at all. I was heading to the post office yesterday and had that sudden "aha" moment. Like, there's one ramp designed for accessibility, but the entire path leading up to it is basically impossible to navigate.

So, my question is this. I don't know if I'm the only one who struggles with this, but I have to ask. I get really conflicted whenever I encounter someone with a disability. On one hand, I don't know if they're in pain, so I tend to be extra helpful and sweet, but then I worry that being overly attentive might feel patronizing, since they probably don't want special treatment. I hope you guys get what I'm getting at. How should I actually behave?

Nicole Alvarez81 said:I’m honestly just swimming in questions today, but here’s another one for the group. First off, rowdypanther13, I am so sorry you keep running into those total idiots; it's like they don't have a single brain cell between them, because if they actually did, they probably wouldn't act like that.

It’s kind of embarrassing to admit, but I think I only really realized yesterday—I'm not even sure why it took until yesterday specifically—that the streets, the squares, and the schools in this city I live in aren't really set up for people with disabilities at all. I was heading to the post office yesterday and had that sudden "aha" moment. Like, there's one ramp designed for accessibility, but the entire path leading up to it is basically impossible to navigate.

So, my question is this. I don't know if I'm the only one who struggles with this, but I have to ask. I get really conflicted whenever I encounter someone with a disability. On one hand, I don't know if they're in pain, so I tend to be extra helpful and sweet, but then I worry that being overly attentive might feel patronizing, since they probably don't want special treatment. I hope you guys get what I'm getting at. How should I actually behave?

Here, this
might be a helpful resource for you 🙂

There was a stretch of my life where I was constantly crossing paths with people living with disabilities. Honestly, they taught me more than anyone else ever could. If I didn't get something, I just asked. No big deal.

The real issue? People's ignorance. They don't know how to communicate, they get awkward, and then they just look away because it's easier than dealing with reality. It's pathetic. I have a four-year-old, and I make sure we talk about everything—including disability. We live near a kid who’s blind and uses a service dog. My daughter kept asking why that specific dog had that harness on and why she couldn't just run up and play with it. She thought it was some kind of leash. Eventually, I explained it to her right there on the sidewalk, and the guy actually overheard us. He told me he appreciated the openness. I always start with myself. How would I feel if someone were talking about my own disability like that? We really need to be more informed and just... open.

But most people couldn't care less about anyone else's struggles. We've lost our sense of empathy. Everyone loves to post about humanity online, but how many of us actually step up when it matters? Something tells me not many.

Eric Gray2 said:Here, this
might be a helpful resource for you 🙂

Thanks! I was literally just looking for that.