Giving up on your life goals

How often do you guys actually just throw in the towel on your life goals, whether it’s finishing up a degree, chasing a career path, finding love, or just about anything else?
I feel like there’s a point where you really ought to know when to walk away from something that’s nothing but a constant uphill battle, and just accept whatever fate has in store for you once you let go..................

Honestly, looking at the state of everything around me, I get this overwhelming urge to just give up entirely

Not all that often.

When things get really ugly, I tend to dig my heels in—it’s mostly just pure stubbornness and sheer grit at that point. Usually, if I can just muscle through, the situation shifts, the crisis passes, and I end up feeling pretty relieved that I didn't just throw in the towel.
That said... if I’ve given it everything I’ve got and I’m still just slamming my head against a brick wall with zero progress, I move on. I quit. I don't particularly advocate for walking away, but I’m certainly not going to beat myself up for knowing when a battle isn't worth winning.😁

I tend to want so much from life—truly, so much—so when I set my sights on those core priorities or major goals, I make it my mission to hit them, no matter what it takes.
But honestly, as time rolls on, those big life ambitions have a way of shifting. It’s not that I feel like I’m just walking away from who I used to be or abandoning a previous dream; it’s more that a new interest catches my eye, and I find myself pouring all my energy into that instead... life has moved so fast for me over the last few months, and it's taught me that there's really no point in over-planning every single detail. It's better to have a general sense of direction regarding the big stuff, while focusing on making each individual day feel meaningful—you know, just making sure you actually feel good about how you're spending your time.
In my view, staying organized and being persistent is vital, sure, but you also need variety. If one path hits a dead end, you just pivot to another... the only real mistake is stopping altogether.

I’m not about to just give up on my life goals or anything, but I guess I’m always down for some minor lifestyle tweaks—you know, little ways to make things easier, better, or just a bit more polished.

I’m completely on the same page as Ryan Murphy—for the most part, I usually sketch out a rough outline first and then just tweak things here and there as I go...

I don't budge on my big goals and priorities. Sure, I stumble sometimes, but I’m not quitting. Since I figure change is the only constant, I just try to act right based on whatever life throws at me at the moment.
And obviously, I try to figure out what I can actually control versus what I can't. Though, let's be real, I mess that up more often than not. It usually takes me a minute to realize when I'm fighting a losing battle.
But once I see that it’s just a dead end, man... I just accept it and pivot to a new goal. 🙂

But honestly, when you're constantly getting knocked down just to try and reach some distant goal, you eventually have to stop and wonder if that prize is actually worth all the bruises 😢

John Mendoza13 said:But honestly, when you're constantly getting knocked down just to try and reach some distant goal, you eventually have to stop and wonder if that prize is actually worth all the bruises 😢

I don't know, I can't bring myself to agree with that; you shouldn't throw in the towel quite that easily, because even when things go south, you have to find a way to get back up and come out the other side a little more resilient, right? You just can't walk away from what you've set your sights on, because at the end of the day, if you really want something bad enough, there's always a way to make it happen.😉

darkcanyon10 said:I don't budge on my big goals and priorities. Sure, I stumble sometimes, but I’m not quitting. Since I figure change is the only constant, I just try to act right based on whatever life throws at me at the moment.
And obviously, I try to figure out what I can actually control versus what I can't. Though, let's be real, I mess that up more often than not. It usually takes me a minute to realize when I'm fighting a losing battle.
But once I see that it’s just a dead end, man... I just accept it and pivot to a new goal. 🙂

The real headache is that I’m stuck doing this seasonal grind just so I can afford to enroll in community college this fall and finally get my driver's license.

And man, this job is just wearing me down; some days are manageable, but others are just brutal.
The biggest issue is that I have to crash at my relatives' place because the work site is so far 15 miles from where I actually live, so I'm basically stuck sleeping in some cramped, crowded house.

Sometimes I just feel like throwing in the towel and heading back home... but I know I can't.
I've taken plenty of hits in life and managed to stay upright, but this current situation is enough to drive anyone insane.
I spent an entire year unemployed, which sent me spiraling into a pretty deep depression, and now I'm sitting here wondering if this exhausting job is actually worse than being jobless.

John Mendoza13, give it a rest 😍

I hope you actually showed up to the reception, because I doubt there will be any openings left by autumn 😁

hiddenhawk3 said:John Mendoza13, give it a rest 😍

I hope you actually showed up to the reception, because I doubt there will be any openings left by autumn 😁

I'm heading to the orientation on Monday.
The campus is over in Phoenix.

I think I might major in psychology. Actually, I'm thinking about just starting on harder stuff since I'm already living on prescription anxiety meds.

🙂 🙂 🙂

John Mendoza13 said:The real headache is that I’m stuck doing this seasonal grind just so I can afford to enroll in community college this fall and finally get my driver's license.

And man, this job is just wearing me down; some days are manageable, but others are just brutal.
The biggest issue is that I have to crash at my relatives' place because the work site is so far 15 miles from where I actually live, so I'm basically stuck sleeping in some cramped, crowded house.

Sometimes I just feel like throwing in the towel and heading back home... but I know I can't.
I've taken plenty of hits in life and managed to stay upright, but this current situation is enough to drive anyone insane.
I spent an entire year unemployed, which sent me spiraling into a pretty deep depression, and now I'm sitting here wondering if this exhausting job is actually worse than being jobless.

Man... hitting goals isn't easy. Not even close. It takes grind, sweat, discipline, and sacrifice—before, during, and after everything else. motivationThe goal. When things get rough, just remember: today’s grind is what pays for tomorrow. You know why you’re doing this. 15 miles Heading to work. I used to travel a lot back in the day and... 31 miles Workplace vibes.
You know what cures that feeling? Gratitude. 🙂

Lately, I’ve been dropping goals left and right... but honestly, I just cook up some new ones almost immediately. 🙂
Life rarely goes down the path you actually mapped out. I’ve had way too many big plans just go up in smoke without me even realizing what hit me.

Look, I still believe people need goals to live for, but you can't take them to the bank. You never truly know what's going to sustain you when life decides to throw a massive wave right in your face.

What actually needs to be rock solid—the stuff you should always lean on—is your sense of morality, your guts, and pure mental toughness. That’s the kind of stuff life can only make stronger.

Giving up is a dangerous game because it eventually becomes a habit.

That’s why, as a rule, I don't set any goals I can actually identify with—I checked out of everything a long time ago. The only things left are vague, broad life objectives that are too poorly defined to even allow for a concrete sense of failure or giving up...

I honestly can't explain why it's always been this easy for me. Even back when I was a kid, I was always the fragile type—especially mentally—yet I watched plenty of others facing far worse circumstances than mine still find the will to struggle or push through...

I wonder, when it comes to setting targets and maintaining the grit required to reach them—aside from just building better habits—is it necessary to incorporate traits from other people? In the sense of identifying with a role model or someone similar to oneself?

I just don't understand why there is zero internal motivation to even establish a goal, let alone achieve one. It’s incredibly depressing... it’s just one more thing that makes me feel incomplete, immature, stunted, and so on...

It feels as though I am perceiving or understanding something fundamentally wrong...

I wouldn't say I'm giving up, per se, but I definitely have a tendency to get bored with things pretty quickly. Once I dive into something, I struggle to actually see it through to the end, and I often find myself pushing my goals aside the moment a little hiccup pops up.
Still, I’m not ready to throw in the towel on something I’ve fought so hard for and truly believe in. I try to keep telling myself that things will turn around eventually and that these rough patches are just temporary setbacks...

I’ve honestly never even bothered to define what my actual life goals are...😬
and frankly, I couldn't tell you if that's a fundamental flaw in my character or just a way of life.😍

I mean, it’s not like we need everything figured out right this second—who knows what our long-term goals even look like yet—but there’s a certain peace of mind that comes when you at least have a sense of direction regarding the big picture. 🙂
For me personally, life just feels much more manageable when I have a rough idea of what the next few months are going to look like... even if it's just a vague outline of where I'm headed.

It’s been 6 years... this used to be my old account back when this forum was still running before everything crashed—I basically lost access to this profile because I couldn't log back in after the search engine went down...
Anyway, forget the account...
Six years have flown by and I still haven't finished my degree...
Hit the three-year mark and just paused again... constantly hunting for work, year after year...
And a lot of time has passed—I was right on the edge of a total mental breakdown. Honestly, I don't give a damn about anything anymore.
Living in Canada, you're always just scrambling for some way out or some new solution...
I'm 26 now... college has been a mess, had my first semester suspended... got two years of work history logged in my book...
The rest of the jobs were under the table... I wasn't doing anything unless there was cash involved... just kidding, I didn't do shit.
Love... first time at 25, after those gaps in school led me to check myself into a psych ward for five days just to get some perspective...
And at 25, the first time actually heading out into the city...
Just constant anxiety and being a nervous wreck my whole life.
This was what I posted (on my other account, marija1111)

Used Prozac and Elvonyl... currently testing things out... switched my sleep schedule completely, quit the gym to save money... somehow I've got this sense of self-confidence I haven't felt in years...
Maybe I'll regret writing any of this tomorrow...
But realistically, six years have gone by and I'm stuck in the same spot... failed attempts working on an island with a work permit where I couldn't stand the idiot owner, plus they wouldn't hand over my citizenship papers, so here I am waiting a year for some "better future" in my head—some job in Miami... and love... you try everything, but eventually you realize it's not even on you—you're just emotionally wrecked and you can't dump your problems on her; she shouldn't have to see you break down... so you just push through it. Nights spent wide awake, getting screwed, just waiting on those papers, wondering if I have the strength for college... if I have the energy to carry coffee... I just want to actually be someone in this life.

Are you enough to make yourself happy?

If you stripped everything away—your job, your degree, your school, your friends, your past and future relationships—basically all the ways the world around you influences your mood—would you actually be happy?
If the answer is no, then it’s time to start working on your self-esteem and your inner confidence.
Even something as simple as a daily walk can shift your mindset for the better. Or going for a run. Anyone can find a little time for that, and it doesn't feel like some grueling chore or a job you'd end up hating.

You hit your big goals by taking tiny steps. It’s just like how we all had to crawl before we could walk. Graduating college, landing a career, and all that stuff works the same way.
You shouldn't trap yourself with strict deadlines where you feel forced to hit a target by a certain date. You need patience, motivation, and a really compelling "why."
The thing is, over time, that "why" can fade, or your goals might shift entirely. Something that feels vital today might be replaced by something else tomorrow.
That’s why it’s so important to get back to basics: being able to find happiness within yourself and feeling content with what you have right now.
I honestly think losing sight of those old motivations is just a part of growing up and finding your emotional footing.

I used to feel like any day I wasn't grinding at work or hitting the books was just a total waste of time...
Am I happy with where I'm at? Yeah, I guess... but honestly, not until I started hitting the gym—before that, things felt off.
Now it’s really just a matter of when I get back into the swing of things again....
It’s not even depression, it’s more just this built-up frustration because none of my inner circle stepped up—if not with cash, then at least with some actual encouragement...
You look around and see people our age already have the degree, the career, the car... the whole relationship package...
But the golden rule is simple: don't play the comparison game with anyone else..