My brother is struggling with gambling and alcohol addiction

Hi,

My family is going through a massive crisis right now. My brother has been gambling for quite a while, and since I’m still in school, it’s hitting me hard—honestly, it's tearing our whole family apart.

It all started when he was about 22. He went to a local casino with a close friend to play the slot machines. Of course, he won a little bit of cash at first, and that was the spark that lit the fire. Back then, he was still married and had a son. After he started losing $100-$67 increments, things spiraled into a much darker phase where he was betting huge amounts of money. To make matters even worse, he got divorced, and his son moved in with his mom, who lives about 62 miles away, so they rarely see each other.

After the divorce, he turned to drinking, which just fueled the gambling addiction. Now we're talking serious money, like $500-$333 per night. He’s been borrowing from loan sharks and using everything as collateral—his phone, his laptop, you name it. He even reached a point where he was selling stuff from the house, but thank God my dad stepped in and stopped him.

Right now, he’s been drinking for a week straight, constantly gambling, taking loans from sharks, and pawning everything he owns (he just pawned his phone recently). It’s just getting worse and worse. On top of the alcohol and gambling, he’s also on some heavy medication because of mental health struggles. Thank God he isn't violent or anything like that, but he would literally sell his soul to gamble. He actually went to rehab for alcoholism once a long time ago, which helped for a bit, but he’s right back in the cycle again.

I am begging for any kind of help or advice. Are there any former gamblers here or people currently in recovery? People say gambling addiction can be even harder to break than heroin, and seeing him sink deeper and deeper into this hole—taking my whole family down with him—is devastating. I’m based in the Pacific Northwest, so if there are any local associations, support groups, or clubs nearby, please let me know.

Thanks!

neongull19 said:Hi,

My family is going through a massive crisis right now. My brother has been gambling for quite a while, and since I’m still in school, it’s hitting me hard—honestly, it's tearing our whole family apart.

It all started when he was about 22. He went to a local casino with a close friend to play the slot machines. Of course, he won a little bit of cash at first, and that was the spark that lit the fire. Back then, he was still married and had a son. After he started losing $100-$67 increments, things spiraled into a much darker phase where he was betting huge amounts of money. To make matters even worse, he got divorced, and his son moved in with his mom, who lives about 62 miles away, so they rarely see each other.

After the divorce, he turned to drinking, which just fueled the gambling addiction. Now we're talking serious money, like $500-$333 per night. He’s been borrowing from loan sharks and using everything as collateral—his phone, his laptop, you name it. He even reached a point where he was selling stuff from the house, but thank God my dad stepped in and stopped him.

Right now, he’s been drinking for a week straight, constantly gambling, taking loans from sharks, and pawning everything he owns (he just pawned his phone recently). It’s just getting worse and worse. On top of the alcohol and gambling, he’s also on some heavy medication because of mental health struggles. Thank God he isn't violent or anything like that, but he would literally sell his soul to gamble. He actually went to rehab for alcoholism once a long time ago, which helped for a bit, but he’s right back in the cycle again.

I am begging for any kind of help or advice. Are there any former gamblers here or people currently in recovery? People say gambling addiction can be even harder to break than heroin, and seeing him sink deeper and deeper into this hole—taking my whole family down with him—is devastating. I’m based in the Pacific Northwest, so if there are any local associations, support groups, or clubs nearby, please let me know.

Thanks!

How old are you? And how old is your brother now?
I suppose you should call the Blue Line/Brave Phone first to explain everything and see what your options are.
Your parents probably care too much to kick him out, even though he's an adult causing serious problems.
Since you're the youngest, you'll likely be the one suffering most from all this.
It's possible the child protective services might get involved.
Maybe try to use the fact that you're still a student so the system still has to protect you. Use whatever legal protections are available.
That might make things a little more bearable for the rest of the family.
Because honestly, things aren't going to get easier later; they'll just get harder.

He'll probably keep struggling with these addictions for a long time, and there's no telling what else he might do.
He could end up dragging everyone down with him.
If it's already "affecting you," then the damage is already being done.
Just call those hotlines and report it.
Protect yourself first.

Doing that might help the others in the family, too. 😉

@nobodyl

Forget about support groups for now; those are only useful once a person is actually sober, stable, and committed to staying that way.

The first step is getting a referral from a primary care physician for inpatient alcohol rehabilitation.

Call 911 and explain that he hasn't been sober for seven days and is physically unwell. Once the paramedics arrive, if he becomes combative, the police should be called to take him to a psychiatric facility.
Once there, he needs to be evaluated by a psychiatrist. You must explain the situation and request hospitalization—even involuntary if necessary—and ask that a petition be sent to the appropriate social services agency for a competency evaluation. This allows for a legal guardian to be appointed to oversee his medical decisions.
In practical terms, this means that every time your brother relapses or goes gambling, he can be hospitalized under the guardian's authority.
Following hospital treatment, he will be required to take Antabuse every single morning.
He must also attend all scheduled psychiatric outpatient appointments and join a local support club.link na adresar, so check which one is closest to you.
Implementing everything I have outlined is difficult; it requires immense strength and unwavering consistency from your parents.
I hope you succeed. If not, always remember Nicole's advice: protect yourself first.