Feeling isolated from classmates because of a failing grade

I decided to take a few extra credits during my sophomore year, and suddenly, all the girls I was close with freshman year have completely ghosted me. Honestly, I didn't go out of my way to force those friendships because I can't stand being gossiped about over something like that. It’s exhausting when someone tries to look down on you for being a "newcomer," acting like I'm some lower class of student, especially when that same person can barely string a coherent sentence together without making basic typos. Meeting new people feels daunting right now, and everything just feels pretty miserable. Is it normal to feel totally alone on campus? This whole 😢
situation is just draining my energy.

Look, at my college, being a total loner was actually pretty standard.
People mostly just hung out in tiny little cliques—like pairs or maybe groups of three.🤣 And honestly? Whoever you bonded with during freshman year, that was basically your crew for the next four years. That was it.😁
You didn't really see these big, outgoing social circles...

But hey, flying solo isn't exactly "normal" or even a good move either. If you stay too isolated, you eventually just drift away from the whole campus vibe.

Edward Murphy4 said:Look, at my college, being a total loner was actually pretty standard.
People mostly just hung out in tiny little cliques—like pairs or maybe groups of three.🤣 And honestly? Whoever you bonded with during freshman year, that was basically your crew for the next four years. That was it.😁
You didn't really see these big, outgoing social circles...

But hey, flying solo isn't exactly "normal" or even a good move either. If you stay too isolated, you eventually just drift away from the whole campus vibe.

That’s exactly what happened to me during my college days.

Edward Murphy4 said:Look, at my college, being a total loner was actually pretty standard.
People mostly just hung out in tiny little cliques—like pairs or maybe groups of three.🤣 And honestly? Whoever you bonded with during freshman year, that was basically your crew for the next four years. That was it.😁
You didn't really see these big, outgoing social circles...

But hey, flying solo isn't exactly "normal" or even a good move either. If you stay too isolated, you eventually just drift away from the whole campus vibe.

I have no idea how I’m going to pull this off. I’m super introverted and I hate talking about my personal life, and like you said, everyone else seems to have their own tight-knit group. It makes me feel like some kind of extra, just hanging around waiting for someone to notice me... it's exhausting. Just like what you mentioned, I'm genuinely terrified that I'm going to lose all my motivation if I can't find my footing.

There is a certain peace in being a straight shooter and refusing to deal with such nonsense. I have a handful of guys at my university whom I haven't gotten along with—to put it mildly—since day one. Because of that, I find it perfectly natural to act as if one of them doesn't even exist when they happen to be standing next to a colleague I actually respect. I will carry on a conversation with the friend as if the other person were invisible, and that is where it ends. There is no wasted energy, no forced smiles, and certainly no fake politeness... let alone any gossip, sabotage, or arrogance.
I honestly feel for you women sometimes.
P. S. You really need to find someone you can trust to swap study guides with, someone who will push you to pass your exams by staying on track themselves. Those loners who try to fly solo end up dropping out 90% of the time.

Look, those girls aren't the only people on campus, you know? You're going to find another crew eventually. It’s not like you have to go out of your way to "kiss up" to everyone in your major, nor do you need to lay out your entire life story to them. Honestly, just having someone to sit with during a break, grabbing a coffee after a lecture, or swapping study guides—that's more than enough. Don't be afraid to actually strike up a conversation; nobody is going to laugh at you or shut you down just because you tried to join a group.
I've got a handful of people at school I'm cool with, but as for everyone else? I barely notice they exist. We might exchange a quick nod or a "hey," but that's about it. And for what it's worth, I haven't been getting into any arguments or spreading gossip. Around here, the guys don't really lean into that kind of drama. 😁
All in all, just don't let it get to you and keep moving forward. Good luck. 😉

slyfalcon7 said:I have no idea how I’m going to pull this off. I’m super introverted and I hate talking about my personal life, and like you said, everyone else seems to have their own tight-knit group. It makes me feel like some kind of extra, just hanging around waiting for someone to notice me... it's exhausting. Just like what you mentioned, I'm genuinely terrified that I'm going to lose all my motivation if I can't find my footing.

Look, they aren't exactly looking for a deep confession from you either.🙂Just stick to current events, what's happening on campus, or even just complaining about the food in the dining hall... 🤷

If you're just looking for people to swap study guides with, grab some info, or hit up an IT lab, then honestly, you don't need to lay your soul bare at all.

To me, it sounds like you're actually searching for friends... and if that's the case, well, that's a whole different story entirely.

granitefalcon26 said:That’s exactly what happened to me during my college days.

How on earth did you deal with that?

Jesse Morales4 said:I decided to take a few extra credits during my sophomore year, and suddenly, all the girls I was close with freshman year have completely ghosted me. Honestly, I didn't go out of my way to force those friendships because I can't stand being gossiped about over something like that. It’s exhausting when someone tries to look down on you for being a "newcomer," acting like I'm some lower class of student, especially when that same person can barely string a coherent sentence together without making basic typos. Meeting new people feels daunting right now, and everything just feels pretty miserable. Is it normal to feel totally alone on campus? This whole 😢
situation is just draining my energy.

You should probably stay on good terms with people
just so you have access to study guides and info from those first-year crowds

But if you're looking for actual friends, I guess you can't really force that, whether it's at school or anywhere else🤷

Look, almost every college in the country has its own online student forums where people swap intel on exams, professors, and study materials. Why don't you just head over there and find your crew?
Also, going solo is brutal. It’s tough because you don't have a roadmap for how to tackle specific exams. When you actually have someone to "compete" with, it gives you that extra push. It isn't impossible, though—I had a buddy when I started out, but we drifted apart once our exam schedules diverged, and later I met someone else... But look, I've crushed plenty of exams on my own. Sure, you need way more drive since you're the only one fueling it, and you know all its flaws, but it can be done. The real issue is that it’s just not efficient. You waste too much energy trying to stay motivated, and hunting down info is a nightmare. If you share info with others, you spot the best way to handle an exam way faster. And don't even get me started on the exams themselves—you need someone who was actually in the room. That’s huge, because half the students out there lie about what happened in class. For some reason, like 80% of the stuff you hear is straight-up garbage. But here’s the bigger point, and this matters more than anything else because college is just a tool to get a job or a career: you make lifelong friends. These are people who will actually be useful to you later in life, helping you out with job leads or opportunities down the road.
So don't give up on making connections. It's vital, and it pays off.
If those friends have run their course, move on. Meet new people. That’s the whole point of being a freshman—they don't have biases or these little exclusive cliques yet. They’re looking for friends just like you are.

I went through the exact same thing last year when I transferred universities. At my first school, everyone was incredibly welcoming. I met about 90% of the people on my very first day, and honestly, I didn't even have friends that great back in middle or high school. We all hang out, go out together, and see each other constantly since our campuses are close by. My experience at this second school has been a complete 180. Everyone stays tucked away in their little cliques and doesn't bother acknowledging anyone from the outside. People here are obsessed with nothing but academics—just endless exams, projects, and presentations. Now that I'm in my second year, those small groups are still just as tight-knit while I remain on my own. I actually met a guy this year who transferred from a university in San Francisco to one here in Washington, D.C., and he agreed that the crowd at this school is totally weird and closed off. He ended up dropping out this year. Personally, I don't mind being solo at school. I'm here for the education, which is what matters most to me. As far as social life goes, thank God I have plenty of friends to grab drinks or hang out with outside of class. I have zero interest in dealing with the antisocial crowd on campus. I don't need stuck-up people who refuse to interact with anyone outside their tiny circle to be my friends anyway.

Chris Thompson said:There is a certain peace in being a straight shooter and refusing to deal with such nonsense. I have a handful of guys at my university whom I haven't gotten along with—to put it mildly—since day one. Because of that, I find it perfectly natural to act as if one of them doesn't even exist when they happen to be standing next to a colleague I actually respect. I will carry on a conversation with the friend as if the other person were invisible, and that is where it ends. There is no wasted energy, no forced smiles, and certainly no fake politeness... let alone any gossip, sabotage, or arrogance.
I honestly feel for you women sometimes.
P. S. You really need to find someone you can trust to swap study guides with, someone who will push you to pass your exams by staying on track themselves. Those loners who try to fly solo end up dropping out 90% of the time.

Well, I guess I fall into that other 10%. ☕

slyfalcon7 said:How on earth did you deal with that?

I had a group of friends who were always working, so we spent every single day out on the town. My college grades definitely took a hit because of it, but hey, I made it through.😁
The girls I was seeing back then were about four years older than me.😁
These days, I find myself leaning more toward younger women.😉

Honestly, I think you're just overthinking it. Nobody's actually turned their back on you—you're just projecting your own frustrations onto everyone else.

Kevin Bailey2 said:Honestly, I think you're just overthinking it. Nobody's actually turned their back on you—you're just projecting your own frustrations onto everyone else.

Sure, if you say so...