Dealing with people's opinions...

I have realized that I struggle with a persistent complex that frequently hinders my progress: an incessant preoccupation with how others perceive me, my life, and my choices. I am uncertain of its origin—perhaps a deficiency in self-confidence—but I have come to recognize that this mental loop prevents me from ever truly finding relaxation.
To provide a few trivial examples, during a coffee outing yesterday, the conversation turned toward cinema, and the group collectively disparaged a film I hold in high regard. In such moments, I simply remain silent to avoid confrontation, yet I find myself ruminating on that interaction for days, questioning why my perspective diverges from the consensus. Consequently, I often hesitate to voice my actual opinions.
Furthermore, my partner has been searching for employment for some time. Whenever someone inquires about his progress, his field of expertise, or why he hasn't pursued a specific role, I spend the remainder of the day agonizing over whether my response was appropriate. I fear people might mistakenly judge him as incompetent or lazy. It is quite possible to spend an entire evening in a depressive state, haunted by these imagined judgments.🤷I have even begun avoiding certain individuals to circumvent questions such as, "Has your boyfriend found work yet?" or "Have you put on some weight?"
The weight of external opinion is heavy; I find myself constructing imaginary scenarios where I am being judged. Most of the time, this distress does not stem from what is actually said, but rather from my own interpretation of what someone might be thinking. I can easily convince myself that my entire office thinks I am unattractive, based purely on a misinterpreted glance or tone, even when reality suggests otherwise.
I wish to know how to alleviate this burden and live as a composed, self-assured individual.🙂While I attempt to maintain such a persona, it is often merely a mask. My goal is to live peacefully, unburdened by the perceived scrutiny of others. Perhaps the nature of my corporate job, where reputation and the evaluations of management are paramount, exacerbates this tendency.🙄
I dream of a day when I can engage in any conversation with genuine lightness and zero apprehension... a day when I can embrace my own tastes, even if I am the sole admirer of a film that everyone else detests.😂I long for the day when I no longer interpret a stray glance or a poorly phrased comment as a personal attack... a day when I can prioritize my own peace and exist in the moment, rather than destroying it through endless speculation about the thoughts of others.

Has anyone else here dealt with constant criticism, both growing up and even now? I honestly feel like a huge part of it stems from people’s own insecurities—that desperate need to fit in and make everyone else look "normal." For me, it’s been unreal. I spent my entire life being picked apart over every little thing imaginable, for absolutely no reason at all. It just leaves you feeling completely frustrated, with your self-esteem sitting somewhere in the gutter. I catch myself constantly replaying conversations in my head after they happen, obsessively analyzing everything just to convince myself I wasn't acting like a total weirdo or an idiot. Even if some random stranger looks my way for more than two seconds, my brain immediately goes into overdrive: *Is there something wrong with my face? Is my hair messy? Is my makeup smudged? Does this outfit look stupid?* 🙄

It’s still a struggle for me, though it’s definitely gotten a bit better compared to, say, ten years ago. Part of it improved because I finally hit a breaking point where I just stopped giving a damn about certain things. But that only applies to some stuff. For everything else, the overthinking is still very much alive and well.

And look, it probably feels useless to suggest "just work on your confidence," because let’s be real—it isn't some magic switch you can just flip to fix everything, and for some of us, it might stay this way forever.

I appreciate you all; I needed to share this with someone and hear what others think.
I tend to overthink everything, even at work. I have this constant drive to be the absolute best, and if I find out I’m not leading the pack on a project or some other task, I spiral into a depression and blame myself. We had a performance review today regarding last month's metrics, and when I compared my numbers to a colleague's, my mind immediately jumped to her being my "main rival" and me falling behind. It hit me hard. I immediately started obsessing, working frantically just to outdo her, wondering if everyone else now thinks I'm incompetent. In reality, there is no actual competition here; it's just a standard monthly report used to track productivity and workload.

Taylor Swift, growing up, I was heavier and frequently endured teasing, even from my own parents. I believe that is where the root of the issue lies, as it decimated my self-confidence. Even now, I am convinced I am overweight, despite everyone insisting otherwise. I am at a loss as to how to handle this, but how I feel is clearly unhealthy; these thoughts haunt me and make it impossible to relax. I have periods where I am wonderful—happy and smiling—but I fall into a deep depression quite easily. It is as if I lack the ability to simply enjoy life.

I ended up developing 🙄
due to the stress and some underlying health issues.

That was me back in my early twenties...

Next time you catch yourself spiraling—you know the feeling, where you start obsessing over what someone might think about (and I’m just rambling here) your shoes, your degree, your job, your salary, your hair, whatever 😲—just immediately pivot. Tell yourself: "Who the hell are you to think your opinion matters to me 🙂?!"
And obviously, you keep all that fire bottled up inside... unless, of course, the situation actually calls for you to say it out loud...

...Looking back... everything felt so massive, so significant, so intimidatingly important. Everything looked way bigger than it actually was... the skyscrapers, the people, the cars—man, just wow. The only thing that didn't feel huge was me; I felt smaller than a grain of sand 😢...

Now? I just laugh at the whole thing. Those "massive" buildings are just little blocks, those "luxury" cars are just tiny machines... and honestly, we were all being such ridiculous fools 🤣
(It really is wild how you can look at the exact same people, objects, and situations through a completely different lens after just ten years—even when nothing about them has actually changed
)
I guess as we get older, we finally start focusing on what actually matters instead of all the noise...