How do I kick my bad habits?

Here we go again. Another damn Valentine's Day. Drunk and high, obviously.
I’ve been fighting depression and addiction for years now, but this habit just won't quit. I know I need to stop, I really do...
But I can't do this on my own. I wish I could.
Not looking for advice. Just some kindness.

I don’t know the specifics of your current situation—your age, your career path, or what your social life looks like right now...
However, many individuals who are considered highly successful today have navigated through similar periods of profound crisis.
Particularly in this modern era, defined by a relentless pace, constant stress, and crushing expectations, it is easy for a person to lose their sense of self, reach a breaking point, or simply lose their way entirely...
For the time being, the most critical step is to be honest with yourself about the struggle you are facing. Once you acknowledge it, you should open up to those in your life whom you truly trust. Find something—even if it is just a minor interest—that brings you a flicker of joy and commit yourself to it. Make an effort to socialize; retreating into isolation and staying cooped up in your apartment will only cause you to sink deeper. If that path doesn't work, there are always professionals available who specialize in pulling people out of even the darkest crises; you simply need the willpower and the strength to decide that you want things to get better.

cosmicotter21 said:I don’t know the specifics of your current situation—your age, your career path, or what your social life looks like right now...
However, many individuals who are considered highly successful today have navigated through similar periods of profound crisis.
Particularly in this modern era, defined by a relentless pace, constant stress, and crushing expectations, it is easy for a person to lose their sense of self, reach a breaking point, or simply lose their way entirely...
For the time being, the most critical step is to be honest with yourself about the struggle you are facing. Once you acknowledge it, you should open up to those in your life whom you truly trust. Find something—even if it is just a minor interest—that brings you a flicker of joy and commit yourself to it. Make an effort to socialize; retreating into isolation and staying cooped up in your apartment will only cause you to sink deeper. If that path doesn't work, there are always professionals available who specialize in pulling people out of even the darkest crises; you simply need the willpower and the strength to decide that you want things to get better.

Nothing.
18 and a half.
None.

Dana Clark64 said:Nothing.
18 and a half.
None.

Well, being eighteen and a half isn't a total loss, I suppose.🙂

High school? Are you thinking about college?

I went through my own share of identity crises at that age. A lot of us stumble through that phase involving alcohol or other vices; it’s a common part of finding your footing. Once you hit that point where you realize you've reached rock bottom, things tend to stabilize—provided you actually have the desire to change. Try this: grab a piece of paper and write out every year from now until, say, seventy. Visualize each one of those years and consider how much life is still ahead of you and everything you can still accomplish. From my own experience, I can tell you it is better to navigate these storms now while you're young, rather than facing them later when the stakes are higher. I truly hope you can find some connection with someone. Don't be too ashamed to open up to people about your struggles or reach out for support. We are all human, we all carry our own burdens, and we rely on each other to keep moving forward.

Let's go through this. 😁 While I'm still relatively sober. 😁

cosmicotter21 said:I don’t know the specifics of your current situation—your age, your career path, or what your social life looks like right now...
However, many individuals who are considered highly successful today have navigated through similar periods of profound crisis.
Particularly in this modern era, defined by a relentless pace, constant stress, and crushing expectations, it is easy for a person to lose their sense of self, reach a breaking point, or simply lose their way entirely...
For the time being, the most critical step is to be honest with yourself about the struggle you are facing. Once you acknowledge it, you should open up to those in your life whom you truly trust. Find something—even if it is just a minor interest—that brings you a flicker of joy and commit yourself to it. Make an effort to socialize; retreating into isolation and staying cooped up in your apartment will only cause you to sink deeper. If that path doesn't work, there are always professionals available who specialize in pulling people out of even the darkest crises; you simply need the willpower and the strength to decide that you want things to get better.

I don't really have any friends. Every once in a while, I get a message in my inbox here on the forum, and I try to turn it into an actual conversation, but it always dies out after two damn messages. What’s left for me? Writing on this stupid forum.

cosmicotter21 said:Well, being eighteen and a half isn't a total loss, I suppose.🙂

High school? Are you thinking about college?

I went through my own share of identity crises at that age. A lot of us stumble through that phase involving alcohol or other vices; it’s a common part of finding your footing. Once you hit that point where you realize you've reached rock bottom, things tend to stabilize—provided you actually have the desire to change. Try this: grab a piece of paper and write out every year from now until, say, seventy. Visualize each one of those years and consider how much life is still ahead of you and everything you can still accomplish. From my own experience, I can tell you it is better to navigate these storms now while you're young, rather than facing them later when the stakes are higher. I truly hope you can find some connection with someone. Don't be too ashamed to open up to people about your struggles or reach out for support. We are all human, we all carry our own burdens, and we rely on each other to keep moving forward.

High school... and since I'm broke, I can't afford college or even prom. Why is life such a mess? Because it just is.
Hm. I don't know how to live in this big, cruel world. And I don't feel like trying. I've decided to just endure the next 60 years or so, plus a few eternities in purgatory. Until then? Maybe I'll lose my mind... if I'm lucky.

If you’re living in a major metropolitan area, you can actually manage to fund your college years on your own since you won't be burdened by the cost of groceries or rent. But let’s be realistic—you know how the game works. Without the right connections, you're essentially standing still.
I realize high school graduation feels like a total disaster and everything seems insurmountable, but passing isn't impossible. Look into switching to a less demanding major, do your research, and consider making a clean break. Start over with people who don't carry any preconceived notions about who you used to be.

To be perfectly honest, I haven't quite figured out how to navigate this world either. Dealing with injustice and constant obstacles is exhausting. However, I have made a conscious effort to surround myself with decent people; I prioritize nurturing those friendships because they make the weight of everything much easier to bear. Even now, as I find myself in the middle of my own crisis, I keep pushing forward. History shows us that after every low point, a better season eventually arrives. It always does.

The question is: do you actually want a better life? Do you have the stamina left to fight for it? Do you truly possess the will to build something better for yourself?

cosmicotter21 said:If you’re living in a major metropolitan area, you can actually manage to fund your college years on your own since you won't be burdened by the cost of groceries or rent. But let’s be realistic—you know how the game works. Without the right connections, you're essentially standing still.
I realize high school graduation feels like a total disaster and everything seems insurmountable, but passing isn't impossible. Look into switching to a less demanding major, do your research, and consider making a clean break. Start over with people who don't carry any preconceived notions about who you used to be.

To be perfectly honest, I haven't quite figured out how to navigate this world either. Dealing with injustice and constant obstacles is exhausting. However, I have made a conscious effort to surround myself with decent people; I prioritize nurturing those friendships because they make the weight of everything much easier to bear. Even now, as I find myself in the middle of my own crisis, I keep pushing forward. History shows us that after every low point, a better season eventually arrives. It always does.

The question is: do you actually want a better life? Do you have the stamina left to fight for it? Do you truly possess the will to build something better for yourself?

unknown.. lucky them. I can't see myself in a massive city like NYC.. no way.

cosmicotter21 said:If you’re living in a major metropolitan area, you can actually manage to fund your college years on your own since you won't be burdened by the cost of groceries or rent. But let’s be realistic—you know how the game works. Without the right connections, you're essentially standing still.
I realize high school graduation feels like a total disaster and everything seems insurmountable, but passing isn't impossible. Look into switching to a less demanding major, do your research, and consider making a clean break. Start over with people who don't carry any preconceived notions about who you used to be.

To be perfectly honest, I haven't quite figured out how to navigate this world either. Dealing with injustice and constant obstacles is exhausting. However, I have made a conscious effort to surround myself with decent people; I prioritize nurturing those friendships because they make the weight of everything much easier to bear. Even now, as I find myself in the middle of my own crisis, I keep pushing forward. History shows us that after every low point, a better season eventually arrives. It always does.

The question is: do you actually want a better life? Do you have the stamina left to fight for it? Do you truly possess the will to build something better for yourself?

What am I missing? I eat, I drink.. I'm not hungry, not thirsty.. working part-time while finishing high school on weekends.. I don't even have the strength to get out of my damn bed.. I haven't even made it to class tomorrow.. though I've been planning to skip for a month now.
I don't need anything better, when I think about it.. doesn't matter if everyone is screwing with my head.. this is "fine" enough..

Sorry for the swearing. 😁 It's just how I vent negative energy. 😂

I also hail from some tiny, nowhere town, and honestly, I used to dread the idea of moving to Chicago. In the beginning, I absolutely detested the city. But now that I’m heading back to my quiet little corner of the world, I can hardly believe I once fought so hard to leave. There's a certain peace in starting over—a fresh, college-age perspective where you aren't constantly under the microscope. No more endless gossip or everyone knowing your business before you even do.

And frankly, I am at a loss as to how to offer you any comfort. You started this thread claiming you want to break your bad habits, yet here you are, acting as if everything is perfectly fine. How does that work?

A little bit of life

cosmicotter21 said:I also hail from some tiny, nowhere town, and honestly, I used to dread the idea of moving to Chicago. In the beginning, I absolutely detested the city. But now that I’m heading back to my quiet little corner of the world, I can hardly believe I once fought so hard to leave. There's a certain peace in starting over—a fresh, college-age perspective where you aren't constantly under the microscope. No more endless gossip or everyone knowing your business before you even do.

And frankly, I am at a loss as to how to offer you any comfort. You started this thread claiming you want to break your bad habits, yet here you are, acting as if everything is perfectly fine. How does that work?

Thinking about people dealing with actual harassment every single day... I guess I've got it pretty easy.

I need you to replicate that initial thread regarding depression and general apathy.
I am unable to access this.

Dana Clark64:

I'm a high school junior now. Motivation is non-existent. I was a straight-A student in middle school, but things went south and my GPA dropped to a 2.5 after freshman year.
I didn't spend a single second studying during high school. I've dealt with depression my whole life—tried to end it twice. Now, final exams are only four months away and I haven't even cracked a book. Not that I plan to. College isn't even on my radar. High school was a total blur, and I'm just counting down the days until I can finally get away from everyone suffocating me.
Can't even find the strength to get out of bed.

Running out of things to say.

humveeja said:Check out the post
Have you seen a psychiatrist?

Dana Clark64:

Not that I know of. Nothing comes to mind.

There it is. An old tradition. First period exam tomorrow, and I haven't even opened a book yet. This school is a joke.

New record. 😁

Dana Clark64 said:Check out this post.
Just one major fact: everything I’ve ever tried... I managed to quit in record time.

Dana Clark64
So you aren't in any kind of treatment or therapy, and now you're saying seeing a psychiatrist "doesn't cross your mind," yet you've attempted suicide twice. Usually, after an attempt, people end up in surgery or internal medicine first before moving to psych.
Do your parents know? It feels strange if they don't know their kid tried to end things twice. If they do know, it’s just as weird that they didn't try to help. Give us some more details.
We all had our share of high school drama and teenage angst, but I don't recall anyone from my high school attempting suicide—not even twice. To me, that points toward a much deeper pathology.

Since I’ve got nothing to lose, I tried an alternative approach: lock myself in the garage, start the car, and just drift off.
Look, any psychiatrist will tell you the same thing: they'll just hand you some antidepressants and lock you up in a mental ward..
Parents? My "parents" had nothing to do with how I was raised. They were never there for me, so logically, they don't have a clue.

When you're working weekends, do you actually interact with people? Do you make an effort to meet anyone new, or do you just stay in your own bubble?

I suggest you browse some other threads on this forum. You'll see how many people are wrestling with incredibly heavy life circumstances, yet they persevere. They push through, they manage, and eventually, things get better.

There is also a resource called psychotherapy. Take the money you earn on your own and invest it in professional counseling. No one can force you to take medication against your will, but believe me, these professionals are trained to dig up underlying issues you might not even realize exist, and they can truly help.

By the way, I personally know individuals who were on heavy Anti-depresiv medications for years and now live completely normal lives; they simply wanted to find their footing again, and they did. There is absolutely no shame in that. In today's world, it feels like every third person has used something at some point to deal with anxiety, depression, or stress. That’s just the reality of modern life.

I'm not trying, because I don't have the time or the means..

Regarding Anti-depresiv: An acquaintance of mine is in the exact same boat. He's been on Anti-depresiv for about six months now, and it just dug him into an even deeper hole. That's why I'm wary. From what I hear, most people don't even react to them..

Dana Clark64 said:I'm not trying, because I don't have the time or the means..

Regarding Anti-depresiv: An acquaintance of mine is in the exact same boat. He's been on Anti-depresiv for about six months now, and it just dug him into an even deeper hole. That's why I'm wary. From what I hear, most people don't even react to them..

It really depends on which one you are talking about. Usually, a patient starts therapy with one option, and if it doesn't yield results, they switch to another. Every individual reacts to a specific medication differently.

I am at a loss as to what else I could possibly say to you. It feels as though you aren't actually seeking a way out; every suggestion I offer is met with "I can't" or "I don't have the time."

cosmicotter21 said:It really depends on which one you are talking about. Usually, a patient starts therapy with one option, and if it doesn't yield results, they switch to another. Every individual reacts to a specific medication differently.

I am at a loss as to what else I could possibly say to you. It feels as though you aren't actually seeking a way out; every suggestion I offer is met with "I can't" or "I don't have the time."

It comes down to work. If I'm a server, am I really going to be chatting up customers? Especially on a weekend night shift? I barely have time to wash my hands, let alone socialize..
I take a break during the week. Sleep all day. But I still want to meet someone. I try the apps, the ads, the unknown stuff, but nothing sticks..

Honestly, my advice is to stop obsessing over those gossip sites and tabloids.

If I found myself in a situation like yours, I’d reach out to someone—anyone, really—who has shown me even a modicum of kindness in the past. You can't honestly claim there isn't a single person in your immediate circle who would listen. Just be direct. Open up. You truly have nothing to lose by being vulnerable.

I remember my time at State University; I didn't know a soul. I was profoundly lonely and, quite predictably, sat there waiting for someone to approach me. Of course, nobody did. Weeks drifted by before I finally had a reality check and realized I had to be the one to initiate contact. I started with the most trivial, mundane questions imaginable—just mindless small talk—and slowly, bit by bit, built connections. Now, I know I have far too many 🙂 acquaintances from those early days, and I don't associate with them anymore, but they were the bridge to meeting the wonderful people in my life today. There is always a way forward; you simply have to be the one to find it.

There is absolutely nothing to lose.

Do you actually have a clinical diagnosis for depression, or is this just something you feel like you're dealing with right now?

Larry Wilson25 said:Do you actually have a clinical diagnosis for depression, or is this just something you feel like you're dealing with right now?

Since when do I need someone else to validate my own feelings? 🙂
I know exactly what depression is.

You claim you don't have money for tuition... yet somehow you've got cash for drinks and weed when I know for a fact that a gram goes for $33 in Washington, D.C....

Back when I used to drink (barely seven years ago), I couldn't handle less than six beers... and even then, it wasn't cheap...