#21 ·
Look, let me throw some advice your way by giving you a quick rundown of what I went through. Since I was about 15 or 16, I’d get these heavy, depressing days hitting me out of nowhere. Back then, I had no clue what was actually happening and honestly thought everyone felt this way. I managed to white-knuckle my way through those dark phases on my own until I hit 22. That’s when things finally boiled over and I ended up in an emergency room because I just wasn't okay. Shortly after that, I realized I needed to open up to someone and actually do something about it.
For me, even the smallest stuff—like mowing the lawn, grabbing groceries, or just heading out for a coffee with friends—felt like climbing Everest. It was everything and anything, but I won't ramble too much. Basically, my brain would loop like this: "If I start mowing the grass, I'm gonna get tired, and then I'll have to shower. And that stupid grass is just gonna grow back anyway." In the middle of all that, I totally neglected my hobbies and let my relationships with my brother, my parents, and my buddies slip. My routine was usually waking up around 10 or 11 AM, eating something, and then just meditating all day long. Most of the time, "meditating" just meant blasting music while sitting there. Looking back, it was pretty rough, but at the time, it felt completely normal to me.
My brother was really the one who managed to break through my shell and see what was going on in my head. We had a short talk, and he suggested I check in with the Mayo Clinic. My mom was totally on board with that too, though my dad mostly just stayed in the background. I asked my primary care doctor for a referral, and I got one without any hassle.
I have to tell you, I slowly started turning a corner once I reached out to the Mayo Clinic. Recovery has been a long haul—and honestly, it's still ongoing—but I don't stress about it. I feel better every single day. Having support from the people I care about is really what keeps me moving forward.
The whole reason I'm typing this out is so you can see the path I took. First off, I opened up to my brother because I knew he could help me navigate my thoughts. Between him and the support from my parents, I've been able to move in a positive direction. I don't feel useless anymore. I don't overthink every little daily chore, I'm not getting lost in my own head as much, and I'm finding myself more in the real world. I actually know what I want out of life now... somehow, I'm seeing the bright side more and more every day. I've poured a massive amount of time and willpower into my treatment, and bit by bit, it's all starting to pay off.
I hope this helps you out a little bit. Seriously, if you need anything or have questions, just ask.
For me, even the smallest stuff—like mowing the lawn, grabbing groceries, or just heading out for a coffee with friends—felt like climbing Everest. It was everything and anything, but I won't ramble too much. Basically, my brain would loop like this: "If I start mowing the grass, I'm gonna get tired, and then I'll have to shower. And that stupid grass is just gonna grow back anyway." In the middle of all that, I totally neglected my hobbies and let my relationships with my brother, my parents, and my buddies slip. My routine was usually waking up around 10 or 11 AM, eating something, and then just meditating all day long. Most of the time, "meditating" just meant blasting music while sitting there. Looking back, it was pretty rough, but at the time, it felt completely normal to me.
My brother was really the one who managed to break through my shell and see what was going on in my head. We had a short talk, and he suggested I check in with the Mayo Clinic. My mom was totally on board with that too, though my dad mostly just stayed in the background. I asked my primary care doctor for a referral, and I got one without any hassle.
I have to tell you, I slowly started turning a corner once I reached out to the Mayo Clinic. Recovery has been a long haul—and honestly, it's still ongoing—but I don't stress about it. I feel better every single day. Having support from the people I care about is really what keeps me moving forward.
The whole reason I'm typing this out is so you can see the path I took. First off, I opened up to my brother because I knew he could help me navigate my thoughts. Between him and the support from my parents, I've been able to move in a positive direction. I don't feel useless anymore. I don't overthink every little daily chore, I'm not getting lost in my own head as much, and I'm finding myself more in the real world. I actually know what I want out of life now... somehow, I'm seeing the bright side more and more every day. I've poured a massive amount of time and willpower into my treatment, and bit by bit, it's all starting to pay off.
I hope this helps you out a little bit. Seriously, if you need anything or have questions, just ask.