Elementary school teachers

Sigurna, the original poster never actually said she was going to go out and "attack" the teacher—nor did I interpret her intentions that way myself.
It’s her right to sit down with the teacher to get the full story and make sure this doesn't happen again. Whether or not she actually has $7.00 isn't really the point here.

redpilot37 and the rest of us with kids always hit up McDonald's whenever we take a field trip to New York City. We don't have one right around here, so the kids want to go; all the parents chip in, they're used to the routine, and everyone is on board with the kids heading there. Honestly, I don't think the McDonald's is what's being debated in this thread—they could have gone anywhere—it's the teacher's conduct that's the real issue.

If I were in those shoes, I’d probably just go back, return the money, say thanks, and then gently explain how things went down while asking them not to do it again. I really don't think Jane meant any harm; it’s entirely possible she just hasn't realized that this whole thing is actually $7.00 a genuine problem for someone.

But honestly, a ten-year-old should be perceptive enough to grasp the situation by now—if you've already told them you're short on cash, they should know to turn down borrowed money. Or, if it’s just too awkward for them to eat alongside everyone else, they could at least opt for something smaller than a Happy Meal.

Anthony Gray said:Sigurna, the original poster never actually said she was going to go out and "attack" the teacher—nor did I interpret her intentions that way myself.
It’s her right to sit down with the teacher to get the full story and make sure this doesn't happen again. Whether or not she actually has $7.00 isn't really the point here.

redpilot37 and the rest of us with kids always hit up McDonald's whenever we take a field trip to New York City. We don't have one right around here, so the kids want to go; all the parents chip in, they're used to the routine, and everyone is on board with the kids heading there. Honestly, I don't think the McDonald's is what's being debated in this thread—they could have gone anywhere—it's the teacher's conduct that's the real issue.

Did she clear it with the mother first? Did the mother give the okay? No.
It’s just a straight-up misunderstanding that puts the mom in an awkward spot. It’s not about $7.00... it's not about who paid more... it's about the process.
The teacher is supposed to walk parents through the plan so they can weigh in.
Now that everything has already happened... the best move is to refund the money and ask the teacher to actually communicate next time if there's a plan in place. Honestly, she should be doing that anyway—standard school protocol—because not all kids are the same and they don't tell their parents everything.

I’m a teacher and I take my students on trips like this all the time... I honestly don't get why your kid isn't just going for free due to financial hardship (you're always entitled to one free spot per class under these programs)—if there are multiple kids in that situation, the cost gets split among everyone so the price drops for everybody.

And look, I've had plenty of times where a kid couldn't afford an ice cream or a McDonald's meal... I'll always lend them the cash, or a friend will. If the other kids notice or if the kid mentions I gave them money, I make it loud and clear to the whole group that their parents just forgot their lunch money and I'm just lending it to them to be paid back later. It's the only way to stop the bullying and the jealousy from the other kids.
Obviously, I never ask for money, but the kids usually end up bringing it in after a few days... and honestly, the ones who actually need it are the ones most likely to pay it back, more so than the kids who have money but their parents just didn't send any pocket change for the trip.🙄

If I’m being honest, I think the school needs to dial back the ambition a bit. If they’re going to organize all these field trips, museum visits, and runs to McDonald's, they should probably realize you can't cram everything into a three-day window. It’s easy for people to say, "Well, you're the parent, it's your job to cut back on the driving," but that's not how it works.
My nine-year-old went to an opera performance of The Great Gatsby in Cleveland today. We paid $17 for the bus, while the school covered the actual tickets... and it wasn't even mandatory. The teacher was very clear that if you didn't want to go, you didn't have to. That’s fair. And it's also fair for the school to pick up part of the tab, especially for single parents. If I hadn't been able to swing it, she wouldn't have gone.

Don't go hard on the teacher... she was actually being pretty human about it. I seriously doubt she had any bad intentions here.
If this were some heartless person, they wouldn't care at all about seeing one kid sitting there unable to eat with their friends. It’s not even about the food itself; it’s just basic social interaction.
It’s honestly a heartbreaking scene—twenty kids eating lunch while one child just sits there watching them.
I don't get why people don't see that.
I'm guessing it's just a lack of emotional intelligence.

Honestly, I would have done the exact same thing.
I couldn't care less about checking with parents in a situation like this.
Sure, it’s not ideal to bring up Mekić after everything has already been settled... but in that specific moment, when a kid is basically being socially exiled from the whole group... parent agreements don't even matter anymore.
Unless the kid has an allergy or some chronic illness that makes McDonald's off-limits, I'd make sure they got their Happy Meal, period.

And I'm betting that "Tell your mom to pay me back" line
was just said totally haphazardly...
Dealing with money—whether you're giving it or lending it—is always awkward. You end up saying whatever comes to mind just to kill the uncomfortable silence.
Like:
-I'll pay you back.
-Yeah. Okay. (even if you know they probably won't, you just say it to move on).

-Your mom can pay me back.
That was almost certainly an instinctive, brainless reaction.
I highly doubt she's losing sleep over that cash. Because if those $6.75 dollars actually mattered to her, she wouldn't have handed them over in the first place.

redpilot37 said:Did she clear it with the mother first? Did the mother give the okay? No.
It’s just a straight-up misunderstanding that puts the mom in an awkward spot. It’s not about $7.00... it's not about who paid more... it's about the process.
The teacher is supposed to walk parents through the plan so they can weigh in.
Now that everything has already happened... the best move is to refund the money and ask the teacher to actually communicate next time if there's a plan in place. Honestly, she should be doing that anyway—standard school protocol—because not all kids are the same and they don't tell their parents everything.

That was just my response to your question regarding why McDonald's specifically—there wasn't any other reason. And look, I completely agree with you; a teacher absolutely has an obligation to loop parents in well ahead of time.

Kevin Bailey2 said:Don't go hard on the teacher... she was actually being pretty human about it. I seriously doubt she had any bad intentions here.
If this were some heartless person, they wouldn't care at all about seeing one kid sitting there unable to eat with their friends. It’s not even about the food itself; it’s just basic social interaction.
It’s honestly a heartbreaking scene—twenty kids eating lunch while one child just sits there watching them.
I don't get why people don't see that.
I'm guessing it's just a lack of emotional intelligence.

Honestly, I would have done the exact same thing.
I couldn't care less about checking with parents in a situation like this.
Sure, it’s not ideal to bring up Mekić after everything has already been settled... but in that specific moment, when a kid is basically being socially exiled from the whole group... parent agreements don't even matter anymore.
Unless the kid has an allergy or some chronic illness that makes McDonald's off-limits, I'd make sure they got their Happy Meal, period.

And I'm betting that "Tell your mom to pay me back" line
was just said totally haphazardly...
Dealing with money—whether you're giving it or lending it—is always awkward. You end up saying whatever comes to mind just to kill the uncomfortable silence.
Like:
-I'll pay you back.
-Yeah. Okay. (even if you know they probably won't, you just say it to move on).

-Your mom can pay me back.
That was almost certainly an instinctive, brainless reaction.
I highly doubt she's losing sleep over that cash. Because if those $6.75 dollars actually mattered to her, she wouldn't have handed them over in the first place.

I get it, because I've actually found myself in a similar spot before, footing the bill for my kids. And yeah, the whole situation is just sad. The teacher isn't a bad person—if she were, she wouldn't have even noticed that one child wasn't eating with the group at McDonald's. As for the context of the child returning the money, we just don't know. That's why the author really needs to have a direct conversation with the teacher.

I am in complete and total agreement with what Death of Art is saying here..
I suspect the teacher likely isn't even expecting to get those funds reimbursed at this point..

Regarding school field trips or other extracurricular fees—it’s entirely elective. If there's a fee attached, it’s by definition optional..

Furthermore, every single parent possesses the right to decline any arrangement or "deal" being presented to them within the school system..
Just as Kate Cox2 pointed out, you aren't obligated to accept anything that doesn't sit right with you..

Teachers simply propose these things because they believe it's a wonderful opportunity for the students. So, at the end of the day, those who wish to participate can, and those who don't, certainly shouldn't feel pressured to do so.

northerncobra27 said:If I were in those shoes, I’d probably just go back, return the money, say thanks, and then gently explain how things went down while asking them not to do it again. I really don't think Jane meant any harm; it’s entirely possible she just hasn't realized that this whole thing is actually $7.00 a genuine problem for someone.

But honestly, a ten-year-old should be perceptive enough to grasp the situation by now—if you've already told them you're short on cash, they should know to turn down borrowed money. Or, if it’s just too awkward for them to eat alongside everyone else, they could at least opt for something smaller than a Happy Meal.

I completely agree with your assessment...

I fail to understand why people always resort to throwing stones at teachers. It’s a lose-lose scenario: if they don't take the kids anywhere, they're blamed; if they do lead them somewhere, they're blamed for the destination; if they provide money, they're criticized regardless of how much was given. I say this from the perspective of someone with many professors in the family...

For every field trip, parental consent is required. If a child is facing financial hardship, there is always the option for them to skip the trip entirely, or for the trip to be subsidized—whether through a travel agency or a collective fund from the students.

And once a child is actually on the trip, it seems perfectly logical to expect them to want something—a scoop of ice cream, a candy bar, a souvenir. In this specific instance, we are talking about McDonald's...
And that trip to McDonald's, however unhealthy it may be, was clearly a highlight for the kids, whether they were from small towns or even from Washington, D.C. You can't exactly drag them to an upscale steakhouse. Another option is having a pre-paid lunch arranged so there's no issue there either.

To make a point, I would have returned the money to the teacher and then sat my child down at home to explain that Mom doesn't have extra cash, that he already had his sandwiches, and that he shouldn't take money from others because it's not something I can just replace. Then again, I can imagine how miserable a child would feel watching everyone else devour hamburgers and ice cream while he sits there with a dry roll and no money to his name. Surely the teacher meant well; when she asked for the money back, it wasn't because those few dollars were her life savings.

Could it be that the teacher simply advised the child to tell their mother to settle the balance, perhaps to ensure we aren't inadvertently teaching them a faulty lesson? Is it not vital that we prevent the misconception that money simply manifests out of thin air or that someone will always step in to bail us out whenever funds run low? Rather, shouldn't we instill the fundamental understanding that when one accepts money from another, there is an absolute obligation to pay it back?

Telling a kid "don't take the money" is just absurd.
If a teacher hands them cash, they have every right to take it.

Whatever drama unfolds later between the parents and the teacher isn't the kid's problem.

At the end of the day, the kid didn't write the prompt, and they aren't responsible for paying it back—regardless of whether the teacher actually meant it when she said, "Your mom will pay me back," or if she was just talking nonsense.

If the money was given, it was given.

I honestly think she did the right thing.

If I didn't have these $6.75... I’d walk right up to her, thank her from the bottom of my heart, and tell her I'll settle up whenever I can afford to.

Kevin Bailey2 said:Telling a kid "don't take the money" is just absurd.
If a teacher hands them cash, they have every right to take it.

Whatever drama unfolds later between the parents and the teacher isn't the kid's problem.

At the end of the day, the kid didn't write the prompt, and they aren't responsible for paying it back—regardless of whether the teacher actually meant it when she said, "Your mom will pay me back," or if she was just talking nonsense.

If the money was given, it was given.

I honestly think she did the right thing.

If I didn't have these $6.75... I’d walk right up to her, thank her from the bottom of my heart, and tell her I'll settle up whenever I can afford to.

I wouldn't say that, it probably just seems that way because we're talking about a relatively small amount of money. At that age, a child needs to understand the concept of budgeting and realizing that everyone has a certain amount of funds to manage. Should they just borrow $200 next time or $667, treat themselves to something and then have to explain to their parents that they owe someone money? I really don't want to get bogged down in an argument over whether $6.75 is considered a little or a lot, mostly because I'm lucky enough to not be in a position where I have to worry about those kinds of sums anymore. Regardless, just as I find it hard to believe the teacher had any bad intentions, I also find it hard to believe that Laura made such a snap decision that her child should be stuck eating a plain sandwich while all the other kids are enjoying burgers.

northerncobra27 said:I wouldn't say that, it probably just seems that way because we're talking about a relatively small amount of money. At that age, a child needs to understand the concept of budgeting and realizing that everyone has a certain amount of funds to manage. Should they just borrow $200 next time or $667, treat themselves to something and then have to explain to their parents that they owe someone money? I really don't want to get bogged down in an argument over whether $6.75 is considered a little or a lot, mostly because I'm lucky enough to not be in a position where I have to worry about those kinds of sums anymore. Regardless, just as I find it hard to believe the teacher had any bad intentions, I also find it hard to believe that Laura made such a snap decision that her child should be stuck eating a plain sandwich while all the other kids are enjoying burgers.

That's $7.00.

And yeah. That’s a huge factor in this whole thing.

$7.00.

It isn't $67.

I’ve read through everything.
Look, the teacher is actually really great—super kind and easygoing—so I honestly have zero complaints about her personally. She gave us such a warm welcome when we moved into the district.

Regarding the Happy Meal thing, my kid loves them. There isn't a single one nearby, so if we're passing by, I just grab one. I get the whole "healthy eating" lecture, believe me, but even I have a soft spot for that greasy fast food. 😁

The thing is, it never even crossed my mind that *everyone* would be eating there. Sure, everyone wants to go, but there's always a handful of kids who just won't touch certain things.

And it's not like we're living in poverty or anything—it's not like I don't have a few bucks—but I just didn't have any cash on me, and I hadn't realized this morning that he'd need it since they were just talking about it.

It also didn't occur to me that she might actually LEND him the money.

Maybe it’s being dramatic, but as a parent, I can't help but wonder if we shouldn't be asking these kinds of questions ourselves. Okay, fine, she probably doesn't even have my number saved, but... I’m just genuinely shocked. Now I feel awkward even going up to her. It feels weird to explain the situation—that my husband is working overtime right now and we've lost about $500 this month alone. (He's pulling extra shifts just to keep us afloat).

Adam Evans62 said:I’m a teacher and I take my students on trips like this all the time... I honestly don't get why your kid isn't just going for free due to financial hardship (you're always entitled to one free spot per class under these programs)—if there are multiple kids in that situation, the cost gets split among everyone so the price drops for everybody.

And look, I've had plenty of times where a kid couldn't afford an ice cream or a McDonald's meal... I'll always lend them the cash, or a friend will. If the other kids notice or if the kid mentions I gave them money, I make it loud and clear to the whole group that their parents just forgot their lunch money and I'm just lending it to them to be paid back later. It's the only way to stop the bullying and the jealousy from the other kids.
Obviously, I never ask for money, but the kids usually end up bringing it in after a few days... and honestly, the ones who actually need it are the ones most likely to pay it back, more so than the kids who have money but their parents just didn't send any pocket change for the trip.🙄

I know all about that. I already brought it up with the teacher, but she mentioned there are about five other families in the class in similar spots, so she just rotates it—someone gets a free trip each time. Interestingly enough, I was the only one who checked "no" on the survey regarding the school camping trip.
I actually wrote down that finances were the issue. I was wondering how those five families facing hardship were supposed to afford such an expensive trip.
But once I saw that everyone else was going, I went ahead and signed the waiver anyway, mostly because I didn't want my kid to be the odd one out. As for where we're going to scrape together the extra $383, that's another story. $65 I paid it. (We got a seven-month payment plan).

Anyway, I just heard from a neighbor that the bus ride is supposedly FREE this month...😲

Does anyone know anything about this?

I'm trying to figure out if everyone else actually paid $1.75 (everyone) because my boy tells me his uncle said the ride is free. (I told him his uncle was joking, that we paid, and that the teachers would cover it for the others)....😕

Laura... look, you have to realize that teacher did the best she could with what she had.

Just think about it—what else was she supposed to do?

Leave a kid sitting there watching everyone else eat?

Seriously, imagine how twisted someone would have to be to just sit back and watch every single child eat while one kid sits there with nothing.

Kevin Bailey2 said:That's $7.00.

And yeah. That’s a huge factor in this whole thing.

$7.00.

It isn't $67.

She handed him 30 bucks, and he gave her 9 back in change.

But let's not forget—they really should have included that specific detail when they were asking for approval for the field trip in the first place. If I had actually signed off on that, I would've just handed over the cash myself, even if it was just a loan!

Look, I get it—the kid is basically a victim of a broken system here—but you still have to let them know that this behavior isn't okay. You can't just stay silent about it.

Kimberly Robinson2 said:She handed him 30 bucks, and he gave her 9 back in change.

But let's not forget—they really should have included that specific detail when they were asking for approval for the field trip in the first place. If I had actually signed off on that, I would've just handed over the cash myself, even if it was just a loan!

Look, I get it—the kid is basically a victim of a broken system here—but you still have to let them know that this behavior isn't okay. You can't just stay silent about it.

I'm asking you again. What other choice did the teacher actually have?

Kevin Bailey2 said:Laura... look, you have to realize that teacher did the best she could with what she had.

Just think about it—what else was she supposed to do?

Leave a kid sitting there watching everyone else eat?

Seriously, imagine how twisted someone would have to be to just sit back and watch every single child eat while one kid sits there with nothing.

Doa, I get it, really. I’d probably hand it over too! I mean, just two weeks ago, some random kid in New York City was begging me for $1.75 right outside a restaurant where my band was playing. He was a sweet kid, pretty chatty, basically my age—not quite five or six yet—just asking if I had anything small to spare. 😲
I asked him what he needed it for, and he said sweets... so yeah, I gave him $1.75.
I swear to God, he actually came back begging again last Wednesday, but I told him I didn't have anything left.

But hey, that was then, and things are different now... who knows what's going to pop up tomorrow... maybe a gig will fly our way and we'll be flush again, but right now? Not so much.😢

Kevin Bailey2 said:I'm asking you again. What other choice did the teacher actually have?

What choice? Should I have just handed it over and then told him his mom would be coming in for a parent-teacher conference—so we could settle this one-on-one behind closed doors—and maybe suggest that if he accepted the gift, I'd tell him I returned it, while making sure he understood nothing is free and next time things will go differently? Or should I just return it to her if she even asks, and then point out that they really ought to have included a section on the school survey where we, as parents, officially agree that our kid is allowed to eat there?

Kimberly Robinson2 said:I’ve read through everything.
Look, the teacher is actually really great—super kind and easygoing—so I honestly have zero complaints about her personally. She gave us such a warm welcome when we moved into the district.

Regarding the Happy Meal thing, my kid loves them. There isn't a single one nearby, so if we're passing by, I just grab one. I get the whole "healthy eating" lecture, believe me, but even I have a soft spot for that greasy fast food. 😁

The thing is, it never even crossed my mind that *everyone* would be eating there. Sure, everyone wants to go, but there's always a handful of kids who just won't touch certain things.

And it's not like we're living in poverty or anything—it's not like I don't have a few bucks—but I just didn't have any cash on me, and I hadn't realized this morning that he'd need it since they were just talking about it.

It also didn't occur to me that she might actually LEND him the money.

Maybe it’s being dramatic, but as a parent, I can't help but wonder if we shouldn't be asking these kinds of questions ourselves. Okay, fine, she probably doesn't even have my number saved, but... I’m just genuinely shocked. Now I feel awkward even going up to her. It feels weird to explain the situation—that my husband is working overtime right now and we've lost about $500 this month alone. (He's pulling extra shifts just to keep us afloat).

I know all about that. I already brought it up with the teacher, but she mentioned there are about five other families in the class in similar spots, so she just rotates it—someone gets a free trip each time. Interestingly enough, I was the only one who checked "no" on the survey regarding the school camping trip.
I actually wrote down that finances were the issue. I was wondering how those five families facing hardship were supposed to afford such an expensive trip.
But once I saw that everyone else was going, I went ahead and signed the waiver anyway, mostly because I didn't want my kid to be the odd one out. As for where we're going to scrape together the extra $383, that's another story. $65 I paid it. (We got a seven-month payment plan).

Anyway, I just heard from a neighbor that the bus ride is supposedly FREE this month...😲

Does anyone know anything about this?

I'm trying to figure out if everyone else actually paid $1.75 (everyone) because my boy tells me his uncle said the ride is free. (I told him his uncle was joking, that we paid, and that the teachers would cover it for the others)....😕

http://www.mbta.com/news/escalator-updates.aspx

Yeah, someone is definitely playing you—they're pocketing the escalator money for themselves. 🤷