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The ethics of suicide: Thoughts and discussions

Started by Ryan Wood98 · · 👁 5 views · 20 replies

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Participants Ryan Wood98Frank Williams7Eric Gray2Karen Adams2placidscout3Patrick Wright2mistyscout2casualharbor9
Ryan Wood98 Ryan Wood98 Active MemberOP
114 messages
joined Feb 2007
#1 ·
Somewhere on this forum, there was a thread where a user expressed a desire to end their life.
Then, other users stepped in to offer support and responses.
However, a few individuals then chimed in by essentially telling them, "just go ahead and do it."
Those specific users were subsequently penalized with moderation actions.

Now, looking at the specifics of this situation, we are dealing with a minor—someone under 18—which makes it a somewhat sensitive and difficult example to dissect.

For the sake of this discussion, let us assume for a moment that we are talking about an adult.

Does an adult truly have the right to decide the fate of their own life, including choosing to end it voluntarily?

From an ethical standpoint, I wonder if a psychologist has the right to intervene and prevent someone from committing suicide.

(I am aware that in the US, it is standard practice for psychologists to always intervene to prevent suicide, possibly due to professional ethical codes; however, I am not referring to official regulations here, but rather to your personal sense of what is right.)

It is known that certain countries have laws that penalize suicide or attempted suicide (for instance, I believe the United Kingdom had laws in the early 20th century where attempted suicide was a capital offense 😂), yet other regions have legally regulated assisted suicide.

So, what is the correct course of action? Do we actually have the moral authority to stop someone from taking their own life?

Furthermore, do we have the moral right to issue penalties against those who tell suicidal individuals (again, assuming we are talking about ADULTS) "okay, if that is what you want, just make it as painless as possible"?

🤷
Frank Williams7 Frank Williams7 Member
46 messages
joined Jan 2011
#2 ·
If you aren't prepared to handle people's actual answers or their opinions, then don't bother starting a thread on this forum. Period.

Ever heard of a "cry for help"?

You'll find the answer to my question if you just stop and think about what you’d actually want to hear in a hypothetical situation where you were feeling suicidal: "Just go ahead" or "Life is worth living"?
Ryan Wood98 Ryan Wood98 Active MemberOP
114 messages
joined Feb 2007
#3 ·
Frank Williams7 said:If you aren't prepared to handle people's actual answers or their opinions, then don't bother starting a thread on this forum. Period.

Ever heard of a "cry for help"?

You'll find the answer to my question if you just stop and think about what you’d actually want to hear in a hypothetical situation where you were feeling suicidal: "Just go ahead" or "Life is worth living"?

So, you seem to think that reaching out to a psychologist implies that the person doesn't actually intend to follow through with suicide?

And in a hypothetical scenario where it isn't a cry for help, but rather that person truly intends to do it?

As for what I would want to hear in such a moment, I couldn't say, since I have never been in that position. Furthermore, I don't necessarily believe that everyone in that situation would want to hear the same thing. I suspect that both the individuals and their circumstances vary quite a bit.
Frank Williams7 Frank Williams7 Member
46 messages
joined Jan 2011
#4 ·
Ryan Wood98 said:So, you seem to think that reaching out to a psychologist implies that the person doesn't actually intend to follow through with suicide?

And in a hypothetical scenario where it isn't a cry for help, but rather that person truly intends to do it?

As for what I would want to hear in such a moment, I couldn't say, since I have never been in that position. Furthermore, I don't necessarily believe that everyone in that situation would want to hear the same thing. I suspect that both the individuals and their circumstances vary quite a bit.

No.

My take—and I know this for a fact—is that it shows there’s still a healthy part of that person's psyche fighting to stay alive, which is why they're looking for professional help.

Quentin Tarantino:
But what if we're talking about a hypothetical situation where it isn't a cry for help, but that person truly, genuinely wants to go through with it?
It makes no difference to me, because that kind of urge is usually transient. Most people who deal with suicidal thoughts find that once they get help, those thoughts eventually fade away.

Are you aware that most people who actually complete suicide never even spoke to a psychologist or psychiatrist?

Quentin Tarantino:
And honestly, I couldn't tell you what someone would want to hear in that moment because I've never been there. Besides, I don't buy the idea that everyone in that position wants the same thing. People and their circumstances are rarely that simple.
Circumstances aside, the answer remains the same. Encouraging suicide is basically being an accomplice to a potential crime. We aren't going to get our hands dirty, sure, but telling someone "Go ahead" is probably the coldest, most heartless thing a human can do.

p.s. Please don't try to debunk my point by bringing up extreme outliers like mass shooters, pedophiles, or war criminals. It's not like anyone is rushing to help them if they take their own life, but even then, it's ethically wrong to egg them on.
Ryan Wood98 Ryan Wood98 Active MemberOP
114 messages
joined Feb 2007
#5 ·
Since you brought up the concept of a crime, I assume you believe that an individual doesn't actually have the right to decide when their own life should end?

I suppose if you didn't feel that way, you wouldn't be using the word "crime" in this context.
Eric Gray2 Eric Gray2 Regular
254 messages
joined Jul 2014
#6 ·
We really shouldn't lump euthanasia in with suicide. Even if they look identical on paper, euthanasia requires the individual to be mentally sound and free from depression—though, to be honest, I’m not entirely sure how much weight that holds, given the counterargument that the very desire to die could itself be a symptom of depression.
As for suicidal ideation, my understanding of how things work here in the States is that the standard practice is to hospitalize someone against their will. I actually find that pretty understandable; it isn't meant to strip away someone's freedom (even if it feels that way), but rather to provide help—since, as I mentioned before, wanting to end one's life usually points toward an underlying disorder, most often depression.

Even though they aren't quite the same thing, you could draw a parallel to how we legally restrict certain business responsibilities for people dealing with specific mental health issues. So, I would argue that yes, we do have a right to intervene to prevent someone from committing suicide, especially when those thoughts are just a symptom of an illness.
Frank Williams7 Frank Williams7 Member
46 messages
joined Jan 2011
#7 ·
You’re nitpicking every single word I say, Ryan Wood98, even though you're probably missing the point entirely.

In my book, encouraging anyone to take their own life is nothing short of a crime.

Look, I’m not going to sit here and argue that a person doesn't have the right to decide what happens to them.

My point is that the people close to him—and the medical professionals—have a fundamental duty to try and talk him out of it. At the end of the day, I believe life is worth living. Most Americans back in the 90s felt the same way, and most people battling terminal illnesses feel the same way too. There really isn't any room for all this overblown philosophy when it comes to this topic.
Ryan Wood98 Ryan Wood98 Active MemberOP
114 messages
joined Feb 2007
#8 ·
Frank Williams7 said:You’re nitpicking every single word I say, Ryan Wood98, even though you're probably missing the point entirely.

In my book, encouraging anyone to take their own life is nothing short of a crime.

Look, I’m not going to sit here and argue that a person doesn't have the right to decide what happens to them.

My point is that the people close to him—and the medical professionals—have a fundamental duty to try and talk him out of it. At the end of the day, I believe life is worth living. Most Americans back in the 90s felt the same way, and most people battling terminal illnesses feel the same way too. There really isn't any room for all this overblown philosophy when it comes to this topic.

But wouldn't you agree that the practice of automatically holding someone responsible—or forcing hospitalization—is itself a way of restricting one's autonomy over their own life?

Following that logic:

wanting to end one's life = being mentally unstable = being incapable of making independent decisions.

Just because you and most other people (including myself, or perhaps those in their 90s or facing terminal illnesses) believe something to be true, I suppose that shouldn't necessarily mean it applies to absolutely everyone, right? 🤷

I mean, just so there is no misunderstanding, I would likely also intervene if someone told me they wanted to take their own life, but I find myself wondering if I am necessarily in the right, or if there might be room for doubt. 🤷
Karen Adams2 Karen Adams2 Active Member
55 messages
joined Mar 2010
#9 ·
The scenario might play out something like this. Let’s say it’s happening between some unfortunate soul looking to end it all and myself.
THEM: I want to kill myself.
ME: Why?
THEM: Because life is meaningless, and don't even bother trying to answer me. This is my decision.
ME: But, you haven't even truly lived yet; there are so many experiences out there worth having...
THEM: That's all just nonsense... nothing matters... I'm going to do it.
ME: Okay, then go ahead and do it.
THEM: How could you possibly say something like that to me?!

I honestly feel like these people are just desperate for attention; on these psychology forums, you constantly see these types popping up with maybe a handful of posts, preaching about how they're going to take their own lives. Though, I haven't actually noticed any real spike in suicide rates.🙄
I have this friend—we've known each other for quite a while now—and he has attempted to take his own life at least twenty times, yet somehow, he’s been saved every single time.🙄
It's always something; he'd start cutting his wrists right when he hears someone knocking at the door, or he'd be attempting to hang himself just as someone walks into the room... I'm telling you, it's quite a story. To be perfectly honest, I almost hope that one day he finally succeeds in his intention. At least then, he would die happy.☕
Where does anyone get the right to tell another person what to do with their own existence?!
If someone wants to get married, let them get married; if they want to travel to Africa, let them go. In the same vein, if they want to end their life, let them end it—who am I to stand in their way?!

And I've observed that these individuals are capable of moping about the same single topic for years on end; no matter what anyone tells them, nothing changes, they can't be helped, everything is just so meaningless... blah... blah... blah...
They don't actually want to change anything, nor do they truly intend to follow through with dying in the end. If they really wanted to, they would have done it by now; if they didn't want to, they would seek professional help. They wouldn't be posting their little sob stories on an internet forum.
Frank Williams7 Frank Williams7 Member
46 messages
joined Jan 2011
#10 ·
Quentin Tarantino:
Look, just so we’re clear, I’d also try to talk someone down if they told me they wanted to end it all. But I can't help wondering—am I actually right to intervene, or is there room to doubt my own judgment?
If you’ve ever lost someone you loved—not to suicide, but through sickness, an accident, or war—you’ll find your answer right there.

Once someone takes their own life, the fallout—the agony, the self-blame, the sheer suffering inflicted on those left behind—it's always there. Sometimes that trauma ripples through generations. There isn't a single act more pointedly saying, "You guys aren't worth it, my existence in your world meant nothing—I'm getting out of here" than suicide. It is the ultimate act of aggression from passive-aggressive people. Even if you can't find another reason, you shouldn't do it for the sake of the people who love us. And let’s be real, almost everyone has someone who cares.

That’s why, especially since there's no way to undo the mistake once it's done, you should always fight to keep that person here. Part of it is just that life is a journey, and a huge part of that path involves change—circumstances shift, moods swing, and everything evolves. You shouldn't give up on living. Instead, try to find some joy in every step we take, and try not to trip up the people we meet along the way.
Ryan Wood98 Ryan Wood98 Active MemberOP
114 messages
joined Feb 2007
#11 ·
Let’s try to move away from those clichés about self-help, spirituality, or the idea that "Life is a Journey with a capital J" and that answers will just reveal themselves naturally.

🙄

So, I suppose you are suggesting that an individual shouldn't be allowed to end their own life—if not for their own sake, then perhaps because of the suffering such a decision would inflict on others?

Or, to put it another way, does the well-being of society effectively limit an individual's right to decide their own fate?
Ryan Wood98 Ryan Wood98 Active MemberOP
114 messages
joined Feb 2007
#12 ·
Eric Gray2 said:We really shouldn't lump euthanasia in with suicide. Even if they look identical on paper, euthanasia requires the individual to be mentally sound and free from depression—though, to be honest, I’m not entirely sure how much weight that holds, given the counterargument that the very desire to die could itself be a symptom of depression.
As for suicidal ideation, my understanding of how things work here in the States is that the standard practice is to hospitalize someone against their will. I actually find that pretty understandable; it isn't meant to strip away someone's freedom (even if it feels that way), but rather to provide help—since, as I mentioned before, wanting to end one's life usually points toward an underlying disorder, most often depression.

Even though they aren't quite the same thing, you could draw a parallel to how we legally restrict certain business responsibilities for people dealing with specific mental health issues. So, I would argue that yes, we do have a right to intervene to prevent someone from committing suicide, especially when those thoughts are just a symptom of an illness.

Do you think it’s actually possible to experience suicidal ideation without it being a symptom of an illness?

In other words, if someone is feeling suicidal, does that automatically mean they aren't capable of healthy resonance? It seems to me like that might be the prevailing view in American society.
Eric Gray2 Eric Gray2 Regular
254 messages
joined Jul 2014
#13 ·
Ryan Wood98 said:Do you think it’s actually possible to experience suicidal ideation without it being a symptom of an illness?

In other words, if someone is feeling suicidal, does that automatically mean they aren't capable of healthy resonance? It seems to me like that might be the prevailing view in American society.

No. Like I mentioned before, there are people who—with full consciousness and what most would call a "sound mind"—choose to end their lives because they are facing a terminal diagnosis. They’ve come to terms with the inevitable and simply want to stop relying on machines to handle their vital functions.

@hipersenzibilna, just like I pointed out in that other thread—if you don't want to help and you don't know how, I really don't think it's your place (especially as a layperson) to encourage suicide. If listening to a friend's venting is truly that exhausting for you, then you don't have to do it—it's your right to walk away from people like that. It's no different than choosing not to read posts from people struggling with various issues here on the forum.
There are plenty of people for whom a suicide attempt is actually a cry for help or even a way to seek attention, but those situations need to be handled differently—not by telling someone to "just kill yourself."
Ryan Wood98 Ryan Wood98 Active MemberOP
114 messages
joined Feb 2007
#14 ·
Eric Gray2 said:No. Like I mentioned before, there are people who—with full consciousness and what most would call a "sound mind"—choose to end their lives because they are facing a terminal diagnosis. They’ve come to terms with the inevitable and simply want to stop relying on machines to handle their vital functions.

@hipersenzibilna, just like I pointed out in that other thread—if you don't want to help and you don't know how, I really don't think it's your place (especially as a layperson) to encourage suicide. If listening to a friend's venting is truly that exhausting for you, then you don't have to do it—it's your right to walk away from people like that. It's no different than choosing not to read posts from people struggling with various issues here on the forum.
There are plenty of people for whom a suicide attempt is actually a cry for help or even a way to seek attention, but those situations need to be handled differently—not by telling someone to "just kill yourself."

Back when I was in college, there was this story circulating about one of our professors, who doesn't actually work in clinical practice. Apparently, he happened to be near the phone in his office one day when it rang, and he picked up. The story goes that the person on the other end stated they wanted to take their own life.

The professor supposedly began systematically explaining the most straightforward ways to go through with it.

Now, for us students, it was a bit of a dark joke (regardless of whether it was actually true), because it fit that professor's cynical personality perfectly. However, I think I’ve heard a similar scenario elsewhere; perhaps those who have played Baldur's Gate might recall a situation where you encounter a suicidal character on a cliffside. If your goal is to save them and earn points, I believe the "correct" dialogue choice involves saying something like, "Go ahead, jump."

I think we saw a similar dynamic in the movie Lethal Weapon.

In any case, there appears to be a theory suggesting that for people using suicide threats as a "cry for help," it might be useful to confront them with the actual reality of the situation, whereby they would presumably have to reveal that their intentions aren't truly suicidal. 🤷 I don't specialize in this field, so I can't say if this idea originated from Hollywood movies or if it was something we actually studied in our American university courses. It was quite a long time ago 🙂
Frank Williams7 Frank Williams7 Member
46 messages
joined Jan 2011
#15 ·
Ryan Wood98 said:Let’s try to move away from those clichés about self-help, spirituality, or the idea that "Life is a Journey with a capital J" and that answers will just reveal themselves naturally.

🙄

So, I suppose you are suggesting that an individual shouldn't be allowed to end their own life—if not for their own sake, then perhaps because of the suffering such a decision would inflict on others?

Or, to put it another way, does the well-being of society effectively limit an individual's right to decide their own fate?

I never said that anywhere.

Most people struggling with suicidal thoughts actually have a deep sense of love for those close to them. That’s not just my take; it’s a fact.

Quentin Tarantino:
In other words, does the well-being of others limit an individual's right to control their own fate?
Also, most people are connected to their community somehow. I don't think we need to overanalyze that.

By the way, sorry if I view Life with a capital L.

Quentin Tarantino:
Back when we were students, that was such a classic story (regardless of whether it was true), mostly because it fit that professor's cynical vibe perfectly.
It would make a decent anecdote, or maybe evidence for the idea that a high IQ isn't necessarily a shield against personality disorders like narcissism or sadistic traits.

Quentin Tarantino:
Anyway, there seems to be this theory that people using suicide threats as a "cry for help" should be confronted directly, forcing them to admit they don't actually intend to go through with it.
No, it's just that the thought of suicide triggers fear in people. Naturally. Hence the "cry for help."

Quentin Tarantino:
Look, I don't know enough about this to say if Hollywood just made the whole concept up.
Unlike you, I actually know this stuff pretty well. As for whether Hollywood invented it? Honestly, I wouldn't know.
placidscout3 placidscout3 Newcomer
1 message
joined Feb 2011
#16 ·
Eric Gray2 said:No. Like I mentioned before, there are people who—with full consciousness and what most would call a "sound mind"—choose to end their lives because they are facing a terminal diagnosis. They’ve come to terms with the inevitable and simply want to stop relying on machines to handle their vital functions.

@hipersenzibilna, just like I pointed out in that other thread—if you don't want to help and you don't know how, I really don't think it's your place (especially as a layperson) to encourage suicide. If listening to a friend's venting is truly that exhausting for you, then you don't have to do it—it's your right to walk away from people like that. It's no different than choosing not to read posts from people struggling with various issues here on the forum.
There are plenty of people for whom a suicide attempt is actually a cry for help or even a way to seek attention, but those situations need to be handled differently—not by telling someone to "just kill yourself."


Best regards,
Honestly, I didn't even want to chime in or say a single word because I felt totally discouraged by seeing the same things being written over and over.
The truth is, I've tried to take my own life several times. I talked about it plenty of times before that, too—it was always some kind of cry for help—but nobody ever answered the call correctly. If someone decides to go through with it, they can't be stopped.
I just wanted someone to talk to me in those moments. When it hits, I don't see any way out; everything around me just becomes this massive black hole with zero light at the end of the tunnel.
I deal with a ton of different diagnoses, so when a major depressive episode hits, I constantly tell my family: "You'll be better off without me, it's best if I just disappear." There really isn't anything left for me.
Since they've seen me attempt it a few times and they've had to save me in the hospital every single time, the last one was the worst. I almost died twice while leaving—they were resuscitating me—my breathing would start, my heart would kick back in, and then I'd lose them again after a few minutes... twice. For 48 hours, they didn't know if I was going to make it or not. Well, I made it.
I am chronically depressed. Every little thing hurts me deeply. Even though I'm aware that I do things wrong or think about things the wrong way, I know that, but I don't know how to change it. I've tried countless psychiatrists and various medical institutions. Since I was eight years old, I've had multiple diagnoses on my record: chronic depression, PTSD, bipolar disorder, personality disorders... some came later.
In my opinion, the worst thing about this forum is that nobody actually takes anyone seriously. Everyone just mocks everything, like what happened here with hipersenzibilna. That's the biggest issue with this place generally—people aren't taken seriously, and everyone assumes people are just making stuff up or whatever.
I am NOT whining about myself, and I don't want anyone to pity me. What I've been through in life and how I live through it is my business. Life is hard for me and I fight every single day because I am truly, deeply mentally ill, but that doesn't mean I have to destroy the people around me.
This isn't a pity party. I just want to say that I agree with what Eric Gray2 wrote to Ms. hipersenzibilna. It's a systemic problem on this forum. Nobody takes anyone seriously here, so I don't even get why a forum like this or these topics even exist. I stick to the jokes over in the Off-Topic section. Maybe after I read a post or a thread, if I feel like I actually have something helpful to say, then I'll write something.
Patrick Wright2 Patrick Wright2 Active Member
128 messages
joined Mar 2012
#17 ·
Ryan Wood98 said:Do you think it’s actually possible to experience suicidal ideation without it being a symptom of an illness?

In other words, if someone is feeling suicidal, does that automatically mean they aren't capable of healthy resonance? It seems to me like that might be the prevailing view in American society.

Man, that is absolutely the dominant view in society, and you can see it playing out right here on this forum too. I’ve practically bled out trying to explain that suicide doesn't always have to stem from a personality disorder or neurosis, but hey, I haven't managed to make it stick. Just chalk it up to my crappy way of arguing or maybe just the total inability—or lack of will—of people on this forum to actually grasp what I'm saying, whatever.

Look, let's lay it out like this: Albert Camus once said that suicide is the only truly serious philosophical problem—basically, whether or not to exist. It’s a fundamental question a human being has to answer. So, if an individual, someone with a sound mind, clear thinking, and deep contemplation, reaches the conclusion that they want to end their life, why should we step in and stop them? We might try to fight it, sure—we probably would, especially if it were someone we loved, or even just a stranger—but ultimately, we’d be forced to respect that person's own will or intention, because anything else, like using force or repression to stop them, is just a massive violation of personal freedom.
That’s why this kind of repression gets legalized through medical diagnoses. Sure, people who are suicidal are often neurotic or depressed (though, honestly, most of the time because of how things work on this forum, I don't even view depression as a real disease since there aren't any actual standards and everything just gets lumped under it), but it doesn't *have* to be that way. Even when someone wants to die, whether they are sane or insane, it's their choice, whereas our desire is to live—to keep them as part of our lives—so we do everything we can to protect ourselves and our own desires, regardless of theirs. It's pure egoism, just like everything else in life.
Patrick Wright2 Patrick Wright2 Active Member
128 messages
joined Mar 2012
#18 ·
Frank Williams7 said:I never said that anywhere.

Most people struggling with suicidal thoughts actually have a deep sense of love for those close to them. That’s not just my take; it’s a fact.

Quentin Tarantino:
In other words, does the well-being of others limit an individual's right to control their own fate?
Also, most people are connected to their community somehow. I don't think we need to overanalyze that.

By the way, sorry if I view Life with a capital L.

Quentin Tarantino:
Back when we were students, that was such a classic story (regardless of whether it was true), mostly because it fit that professor's cynical vibe perfectly.
It would make a decent anecdote, or maybe evidence for the idea that a high IQ isn't necessarily a shield against personality disorders like narcissism or sadistic traits.

Quentin Tarantino:
Anyway, there seems to be this theory that people using suicide threats as a "cry for help" should be confronted directly, forcing them to admit they don't actually intend to go through with it.
No, it's just that the thought of suicide triggers fear in people. Naturally. Hence the "cry for help."

Quentin Tarantino:
Look, I don't know enough about this to say if Hollywood just made the whole concept up.
Unlike you, I actually know this stuff pretty well. As for whether Hollywood invented it? Honestly, I wouldn't know.

Okay, what's with the "unlike you" attitude?
I'm pretty sure Ryan Wood98 has his own take on the topic he brought up, and honestly, nobody's out here claiming they have the absolute truth, right? You ask around because you want to test your ideas, back them up, or just toss them out once you see where everyone else stands.

It’s funny how the people who act like they're total experts usually know the least—they're basically living in a bubble of their own making. I think that's exactly what's happening here because it's actually super easy to spot; someone suffering from that "fake expertise" vibe almost always drops lines like "I know this subject pretty well" and then follows it up with nothing but hollow arguments, shallow logic, and a massive ego regarding whoever they're talking to.
Frank Williams7 Frank Williams7 Member
46 messages
joined Jan 2011
#19 ·
Hey placidscout3,

Honestly, I’m close to tears reading your post. Not the first time, either. Last time it was that thread about 'Red Flags You Ignored at the Start of a Relationship.' I wanted to jump in then—to offer some support, some encouragement, just some respect—but I didn't want to misread the room or be taken the wrong way. You’re a brave woman. You have a lot to offer people, and your words can really open eyes if people choose to listen.

Life happens to us, but we aren't the things that happen.

Anyone can run into the kind of person you did. It’s easy to fall into a similar trap. But please, listen: what happens to us isn't *us*. Don't carry the weight of other people's sins on your shoulders. Try to take that painful experience and turn it into just an experience—nothing more, nothing less. Strip the emotion out of it. You control your own emotions. Other people can make you angry or insult you, sure, but you get to decide if you’re going to wear that insult and that pain like a permanent brand, or if you’re just going to let those people and their drama walk away. Basically, you choose to distance yourself from toxic people. And trust me, they are everywhere.

A basic requirement for being free is the ability to defend yourself. And I don't just mean physically—though, hey, learning some basic self-defense isn't a bad idea—I mean protecting your own personal integrity.

I remember reading a study once about the "typical" potential victim of assault. Usually, it describes women who are insecure or constantly anxious. Predators pick up on that instantly because they send off these nonverbal signals that basically scream "I am a victim." It shows in how they carry themselves, in their eyes, in their whole vibe.

Refusing to be a victim is a conscious decision that leads to independence—physically, spiritually, and financially. Independent women aren't victims because they always have a choice at every level. You just have to make the call, and any one of us can decide that for ourselves. Ask yourself: do you want to spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder for the next predator, or do you want to be the woman who calls the shots in her own life?

It comes down to your locus of control. Some people think everything is outside of them, so they just drift along with whatever happens. Others realize they have free will and that the control over their actions stays right inside them. Those are the people who act with a sense of responsibility toward themselves and others, using their freedom to protect their own mental and physical well-being.

From the bottom of my heart, I hope you decide to be free—including the freedom to change how you think about yourself, how you see others, and what life actually is.

Quentin Tarantino:
I struggle with so many diagnoses that when the depression hits hard, I find myself telling my inner circle over and over— it'll be better for everyone once I'm gone, it's best if I just disappear, there's really no point anymore.
That’s a common thing for people dealing with depression to say. You aren't alone in that, and depression is a disease. It isn't *you*.

Quentin Tarantino:
Since they saw that I tried to take my own life several times and they saved me in the hospital every single time, the last one was the worst. I left them twice—they had to resuscitate me. I’d start breathing, my heart would start beating, and then I'd lose it again after a few minutes... twice like that. For 48 hours, they didn't know if I'd make it or not. Well, I made it.
I'm glad you pulled through, even though I don't know you personally beyond your posts. You really do have something valuable to share.

Maybe one day you'll write a book about everything you've been through. I'm certain plenty of people would read it with interest. It could be a way for you to take something incredibly dark and turn it into something constructive for yourself.🙂

Quentin Tarantino:
I deal with chronic depression, and honestly, even the smallest things hit me hard. I know I mess up sometimes—I know my thought patterns are off—but knowing it doesn't make it any easier to fix. I've cycled through plenty of psychiatrists and different clinics. Since I was eight years old, there's been a long list of diagnoses on my record: chronic depression, PTSD, bipolar disorder, personality disorders... some were added much later.
Please, don't give up. I'm certain you'll eventually find an empathetic specialist who can dial in the right mix of medication and therapy that actually works for you.

In the meantime, I just want you to find some peace, both internally and in your surroundings. If it helps at all, feel free to shoot me a private message whenever you need. I promise I'll read it carefully and do my best to understand where you're coming from. Wishing you nothing but the best. 🙂
mistyscout2 mistyscout2 Active Member
197 messages
joined Feb 2007
#20 ·
Ryan Wood98 said:So, you seem to think that reaching out to a psychologist implies that the person doesn't actually intend to follow through with suicide?

And in a hypothetical scenario where it isn't a cry for help, but rather that person truly intends to do it?

As for what I would want to hear in such a moment, I couldn't say, since I have never been in that position. Furthermore, I don't necessarily believe that everyone in that situation would want to hear the same thing. I suspect that both the individuals and their circumstances vary quite a bit.

I think the reality of it is more like this:
That person might indeed be feeling a real desire to end things, but they don't *want* to feel that way. They want to want to live, and they want to be a happier version of themselves—someone who isn't constantly fighting those suicidal urges. Beyond all the typical human struggles we deal with, there's also that basic survival instinct at play. If they're talking to people or making an appointment with a psychologist, it doesn't mean the part of them wanting to die isn't real, but it does suggest that another part of them is reaching out for support. They want to find a way to be healthier and more content than they are right now.

Ryan Wood98 said:So, you seem to think that reaching out to a psychologist implies that the person doesn't actually intend to follow through with suicide?

And in a hypothetical scenario where it isn't a cry for help, but rather that person truly intends to do it?

As for what I would want to hear in such a moment, I couldn't say, since I have never been in that position. Furthermore, I don't necessarily believe that everyone in that situation would want to hear the same thing. I suspect that both the individuals and their circumstances vary quite a bit.

You're absolutely right, and that's why a psychologist—or even just anyone stepping up to act as a sort of amateur (but not necessarily less effective) counselor—has to look at everything through a micro-ethical lens, tailored specifically to the individual context of the moment.

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