Am I normal for noticing things that don't seem right?

Rebecca Gonzalez10 said:I'm with you on this!
I'm a California girl studying up in Washington, D.C., and my boyfriend is a local Washingtonian.
Spending time with his crowd, I see it firsthand—their attitude toward older people is totally different. They're cranky, dismissive... and yeah, I get that sometimes, but honestly, nothing beats having a sincere, heartfelt conversation with an older person—especially if they're well-educated, which is a huge bonus.

OT: Sure, you're healthy, but your girlfriend isn't—she's just pathologically jealous.
My boyfriend and I casually chat about actors who hit their 50s and still look incredible. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.🤷

That "pathological jealousy" label isn't quite right. A woman might be sexually frustrated due to dissatisfaction with her partner, leading her to grill him with questions like, "Is she hot?"
"Would you hit on her?"
"Would blonde hair suit me better?"
"Are those losers actually sexy? That one has great legs, doesn't she?"
"Older women don't look bad with a few extra pounds, right?"—just listing random questions here..
But the point is, she doesn't necessarily have to interrogate him or fish for validation because she's pathologically jealous, or perhaps hiding an attraction to women, or even subtly suggesting a threesome. No, she is likely trying to uncover through his answers what specifically turns him on that leaves her feeling unfulfilled. Then, suddenly, he drops a comment about some vibrant, fit older lady, and boom—there's the answer out of nowhere. He's attracted to women in their 60s or 70s. Pervert. 🤣 That is where the real issue lies; she instinctively concludes that her dissatisfaction stems from him not being stimulated enough because, in reality, he's into older women.
And he finally falls for it!!!!!!!—hopefully, I am wrong about this. 🙂
They say the seventh year is the hardest...

Let's take this one step at a time.

I don't really know much about California. I’ll take your word for it that it's like that. As for Washington, D.C., honestly, it doesn't surprise me one bit. I grew up in a tiny town where social circles work vertically rather than horizontally. In a place like that, you find a group of maybe 500 people, and you can actually connect with anyone regardless of their age. If you try to limit yourself to a specific age bracket, you'll end up grabbing a drink with maybe two or three people at most.

The reality in America is that having a simple, sincere conversation with someone of the opposite sex almost instantly triggers unwanted comments. It’s nothing more than pure social primitivism. Honestly, I think it's toxic when a partner reacts aggressively to those kinds of remarks; if they aren't suffering from some kind of psychological issue, then you're looking at a relationship built on incredibly shaky foundations.

Adam Miller46 said:I suppose you must be thrilled that a single word gave you the excuse to wipe my entire post, even though
you clearly have no clue that it isn't even used as slang—just as much as giving children royal names doesn't make them racial slurs. That’s how Dennis Bailey2 reacted; he acted as if he had no other way to refute my points. He just pointed his finger like a child, shouting, "Look! I called it racism!" and then tried to act superior, as if he were on some "transcendental" level above me. In reality, he just lacks the capacity to argue against the rest of what I wrote, because this isn't about being right or wrong; it's simply about having fundamentally different views on life.

It is truly wonderful being a moderator and getting to scrub posts that simply don't align with your own personal opinions and logic....
Maybe I missed the mark entirely, or perhaps I completely lost the plot. Even when my writing is blunt, I write in the hope that someone might recognize themselves, or at least find a spark of truth, in my words....

So, let's get back to the author's original point:Am I out of my mind for pointing out something that deviates from the norm?

Rewrite your post without using slang. 🙄 😂 Oh, I’ll give you an answer that’ll be hard to argue with. ☕ Seriously, why did you go with "Californians" instead of using the slang? It’s just local flavor. 🤷

I’m still of the opinion that:
If everything he’s claiming is actually true, then his girlfriend is pathologically jealous.
What you’re describing isn't "emotional sensitivity." It's just someone who is incredibly unstable and lacks any sense of self-confidence.

If a guy spends years being chased by women only to end up in a relationship with someone younger just because he thinks that’s how the script is supposed to run, something is fundamentally broken. It doesn't add up. 🤷

Dennis Bailey2 said:Let's take this one step at a time.

I don't really know much about California. I’ll take your word for it that it's like that. As for Washington, D.C., honestly, it doesn't surprise me one bit. I grew up in a tiny town where social circles work vertically rather than horizontally. In a place like that, you find a group of maybe 500 people, and you can actually connect with anyone regardless of their age. If you try to limit yourself to a specific age bracket, you'll end up grabbing a drink with maybe two or three people at most.

The reality in America is that having a simple, sincere conversation with someone of the opposite sex almost instantly triggers unwanted comments. It’s nothing more than pure social primitivism. Honestly, I think it's toxic when a partner reacts aggressively to those kinds of remarks; if they aren't suffering from some kind of psychological issue, then you're looking at a relationship built on incredibly shaky foundations.

Rewrite your post without using slang. 🙄 😂 Oh, I’ll give you an answer that’ll be hard to argue with. ☕ Seriously, why did you go with "Californians" instead of using the slang? It’s just local flavor. 🤷

I’m still of the opinion that:
If everything he’s claiming is actually true, then his girlfriend is pathologically jealous.
What you’re describing isn't "emotional sensitivity." It's just someone who is incredibly unstable and lacks any sense of self-confidence.

If a guy spends years being chased by women only to end up in a relationship with someone younger just because he thinks that’s how the script is supposed to run, something is fundamentally broken. It doesn't add up. 🤷

Please, I sincerely hope you won't take this personally. 🙂 Honestly, I truly hope you aren't tied down to psychology. Not because of you personally, of course, but just... you know how it is.

I honestly have no clue what this thread is even about 😵
Am I losing my mind here? 🤔

Rebecca Miller9 said:I was at a small gathering recently, mostly people aged 35 to 70.
While catching up with everyone, I mentioned that one woman in her mid-sixties looked incredibly fit for her age.
My reasoning was simple: I tend to notice things that deviate from the norm. For most women in their sixties, there’s a common expectation—or at least a stereotype—of dealing with various health issues, carrying extra weight, or lacking mobility and energy. Basically, you expect to see the physical toll of aging quite clearly.
My partner took offense. She’s 25, looks fantastic, and is honestly stunning, but she didn't just feel insulted; she’s convinced that I find older women sexually attractive.
She accused me of acting strangely, suggesting my comment was driven by some sort of sexual fixation. She essentially implied I have a "dirty mind," which has absolutely nothing to do with my actual thoughts or how I carry myself.
The worst part is that now she genuinely believes I’m attracted to women in their sixties...🤣.
I tried explaining that this is just how my brain works—I notice outliers, especially when someone defies expectations (something she has noticed herself many times to her own advantage). Her counter-argument was that I don't comment on young women, yet I singled out an older lady, which to her means I’m viewing these women through a sexual lens. My point was that beauty, vitality, and symmetry are expected in younger people; noticing them isn't special, it's just the baseline. It doesn't make them stand out any more than anyone else.

To give another example: if you ever watch local high school basketball games or even just see retirees staying active in a public park, you might see older guys who look impressively fit. They aren't overweight or immobile. It always makes me wonder what kind of lifestyle they maintained to avoid the physical decline most people experience. According to her logic, that observation alone makes me gay.

On a separate note, we’ve been together for seven years. At this stage, she should know me inside and out; I’m not the type of person to hide my opinions or keep secrets. Yet, she’s starting to throw broad, sweeping questions about our relationship at me.

To justify her claims about my character, she brought up my past:
1. A relationship I had sixteen years ago where I was 21 and she was 36. That lasted two years; every other relationship I've had has been five years or longer with women younger than me.
2. The way I comment on age gaps. I talk about older women at length, whereas with younger women, I might just say they're cute and leave it at that.
3. The fact that I frequently mention how older women are often very accommodating toward me.

I won't bore you further, but based on all of this, is my behavior actually twisted or pathological? Is there any truth to her accusations given the context I've provided?
Thanks for your input.

I have to wonder, would you actually consider her an "old lady" if that's how you're labeling her? 🙄

Adam Miller46 said:I suppose you must be thrilled that a single word gave you the excuse to wipe my entire post, even though
you clearly have no clue that it isn't even used as slang—just as much as giving children royal names doesn't make them racial slurs. That’s how Dennis Bailey2 reacted; he acted as if he had no other way to refute my points. He just pointed his finger like a child, shouting, "Look! I called it racism!" and then tried to act superior, as if he were on some "transcendental" level above me. In reality, he just lacks the capacity to argue against the rest of what I wrote, because this isn't about being right or wrong; it's simply about having fundamentally different views on life.

It is truly wonderful being a moderator and getting to scrub posts that simply don't align with your own personal opinions and logic....
Maybe I missed the mark entirely, or perhaps I completely lost the plot. Even when my writing is blunt, I write in the hope that someone might recognize themselves, or at least find a spark of truth, in my words....

So, let's get back to the author's original point:Am I out of my mind for pointing out something that deviates from the norm?

The section that was removed was only taken out because it was veering into trolling and off-topic territory—not really because of one specific word, but rather due to a persistent and overly broad approach that sort of hijacked the discussion away from what the OP actually asked.
Another thing is that the question—and honestly, this whole thread—is pretty narrow in scope, which makes it all too easy to trigger short tempers and turn into a flame war.

Adam Miller46 said:Please, I sincerely hope you won't take this personally. 🙂 Honestly, I truly hope you aren't tied down to psychology. Not because of you personally, of course, but just... you know how it is.

Not really.

If being a psychologist means thinking it's a blatant lie and a complete lack of respect—a clear sign someone is a pig—to notice other women besides you, then yeah, I guess I'm a total failure. 👍

Back to the point: I still think his comment wasn't out of line. It isn't exactly rare to hear, "She doesn't look bad for her age," is it? 🤔