Is it a mental health issue or just being overly sensitive and emotional?

Hey. I've been debating whether to even post this, but I want to see what you guys think. Just a heads up—if you give me those useless answers like "go see a doctor" or "we aren't doctors," don't bother. They're counterproductive. He’s already seen professionals, and honestly, most of them don't even try to find an actual diagnosis before they just start dumping Risperdal, Zyprexa, or Serdolect on someone...
Anyway, my boyfriend is struggling. He constantly thinks everyone hates him, he's depressed, suicidal, and believes that by 2012 aliens will invade Earth and that he's some kind of organic portal. He reads too much conspiracy crap and starts believing it's all real. He's incredibly emotional and sensitive. He's an acting major, and even though he's insanely talented, he's convinced he's nothing, that he has no talent, and that everyone at school despises him. He actually failed his classes this year. When I try to give him any kind of critique, he can't handle it—he starts burning cigarettes on his hands and threatening suicide. In a way, he's just a total drama queen and a spoiled brat who needs everything his way; if he doesn't get it, he completely breaks down. But there's also a deeper issue. He can't control himself, and he's using drugs—specifically sniffing heptane almost every day because he thinks tripping will help him finally understand everything and be happy. It's hard to explain how complicated this is. He spent a month in a psych ward, where they gave him antipsychotics and SSRIs for depression, but nobody actually talks to him or tries to reach him. His love for me is borderline obsessive, to the point where I can't be with him anymore. Not only is it exhausting dealing with all this shit, but I don't want to be the reason he potentially kills himself. Anyway, I hope that gives enough of an idea. Please, I need advice. Maybe someone has an idea of what's going on with him, besides the fact that he's young, immature, and needs time to grow up.
Is it possible there's a bigger problem here than I realize?

Yeah.

Somewhere around The Onion, I just had to stop reading.☕

But seriously—if this isn't a total troll job—it’s actually pretty terrifying.

urbandrifter8 said:Hey. I've been debating whether to even post this, but I want to see what you guys think. Just a heads up—if you give me those useless answers like "go see a doctor" or "we aren't doctors," don't bother. They're counterproductive. He’s already seen professionals, and honestly, most of them don't even try to find an actual diagnosis before they just start dumping Risperdal, Zyprexa, or Serdolect on someone...
Anyway, my boyfriend is struggling. He constantly thinks everyone hates him, he's depressed, suicidal, and believes that by 2012 aliens will invade Earth and that he's some kind of organic portal. He reads too much conspiracy crap and starts believing it's all real. He's incredibly emotional and sensitive. He's an acting major, and even though he's insanely talented, he's convinced he's nothing, that he has no talent, and that everyone at school despises him. He actually failed his classes this year. When I try to give him any kind of critique, he can't handle it—he starts burning cigarettes on his hands and threatening suicide. In a way, he's just a total drama queen and a spoiled brat who needs everything his way; if he doesn't get it, he completely breaks down. But there's also a deeper issue. He can't control himself, and he's using drugs—specifically sniffing heptane almost every day because he thinks tripping will help him finally understand everything and be happy. It's hard to explain how complicated this is. He spent a month in a psych ward, where they gave him antipsychotics and SSRIs for depression, but nobody actually talks to him or tries to reach him. His love for me is borderline obsessive, to the point where I can't be with him anymore. Not only is it exhausting dealing with all this shit, but I don't want to be the reason he potentially kills himself. Anyway, I hope that gives enough of an idea. Please, I need advice. Maybe someone has an idea of what's going on with him, besides the fact that he's young, immature, and needs time to grow up.
Is it possible there's a bigger problem here than I realize?

Honestly, I'm not even sure we can call that untrue... 🤣

mellowangler59 said:Honestly, I'm not even sure we can call that untrue... 🤣

Maybe the guy’s just psychic.🤷
And when you see the world for what it really is, you basically have to spiral—hit the drugs, act depressed, get insecure, all that good stuff.

Makes total sense.☕

🤣

urbandrifter8 said:Hey. I've been debating whether to even post this, but I want to see what you guys think. Just a heads up—if you give me those useless answers like "go see a doctor" or "we aren't doctors," don't bother. They're counterproductive. He’s already seen professionals, and honestly, most of them don't even try to find an actual diagnosis before they just start dumping Risperdal, Zyprexa, or Serdolect on someone...
Anyway, my boyfriend is struggling. He constantly thinks everyone hates him, he's depressed, suicidal, and believes that by 2012 aliens will invade Earth and that he's some kind of organic portal. He reads too much conspiracy crap and starts believing it's all real. He's incredibly emotional and sensitive. He's an acting major, and even though he's insanely talented, he's convinced he's nothing, that he has no talent, and that everyone at school despises him. He actually failed his classes this year. When I try to give him any kind of critique, he can't handle it—he starts burning cigarettes on his hands and threatening suicide. In a way, he's just a total drama queen and a spoiled brat who needs everything his way; if he doesn't get it, he completely breaks down. But there's also a deeper issue. He can't control himself, and he's using drugs—specifically sniffing heptane almost every day because he thinks tripping will help him finally understand everything and be happy. It's hard to explain how complicated this is. He spent a month in a psych ward, where they gave him antipsychotics and SSRIs for depression, but nobody actually talks to him or tries to reach him. His love for me is borderline obsessive, to the point where I can't be with him anymore. Not only is it exhausting dealing with all this shit, but I don't want to be the reason he potentially kills himself. Anyway, I hope that gives enough of an idea. Please, I need advice. Maybe someone has an idea of what's going on with him, besides the fact that he's young, immature, and needs time to grow up.
Is it possible there's a bigger problem here than I realize?

😂 Man, if anything's actually made me laugh today, it's this...🤣
Seriously though, who even buys into this nonsense? Honestly, I think the guy needs help more than we realize.☕

Edward Murphy4 said:Maybe the guy’s just psychic.🤷
And when you see the world for what it really is, you basically have to spiral—hit the drugs, act depressed, get insecure, all that good stuff.

Makes total sense.☕

🤣

I mean, even Nostradamus was using heavy substances during his sessions while he was seeing the future. And since the visions he had were nothing but violence and death, it’s hardly surprising he turned to drugs to cope...

urbandrifter8 said:Hey. I've been debating whether to even post this, but I want to see what you guys think. Just a heads up—if you give me those useless answers like "go see a doctor" or "we aren't doctors," don't bother. They're counterproductive. He’s already seen professionals, and honestly, most of them don't even try to find an actual diagnosis before they just start dumping Risperdal, Zyprexa, or Serdolect on someone...
Anyway, my boyfriend is struggling. He constantly thinks everyone hates him, he's depressed, suicidal, and believes that by 2012 aliens will invade Earth and that he's some kind of organic portal. He reads too much conspiracy crap and starts believing it's all real. He's incredibly emotional and sensitive. He's an acting major, and even though he's insanely talented, he's convinced he's nothing, that he has no talent, and that everyone at school despises him. He actually failed his classes this year. When I try to give him any kind of critique, he can't handle it—he starts burning cigarettes on his hands and threatening suicide. In a way, he's just a total drama queen and a spoiled brat who needs everything his way; if he doesn't get it, he completely breaks down. But there's also a deeper issue. He can't control himself, and he's using drugs—specifically sniffing heptane almost every day because he thinks tripping will help him finally understand everything and be happy. It's hard to explain how complicated this is. He spent a month in a psych ward, where they gave him antipsychotics and SSRIs for depression, but nobody actually talks to him or tries to reach him. His love for me is borderline obsessive, to the point where I can't be with him anymore. Not only is it exhausting dealing with all this shit, but I don't want to be the reason he potentially kills himself. Anyway, I hope that gives enough of an idea. Please, I need advice. Maybe someone has an idea of what's going on with him, besides the fact that he's young, immature, and needs time to grow up.
Is it possible there's a bigger problem here than I realize?

I guess any kind of fear can spiral into phobias or paranoia. To have someone's life completely fall apart, I suppose you need a whole combination of factors, but I also don't believe that help is impossible, even in the toughest cases.

If he's in a high state of psychosis, it'll probably be really hard to reach him just through conversation. Maybe it's possible, but given how much he's drawing conclusions right now, you might need more luck than sense, since people like this are so hard to categorize... Psychiatrists have moved toward a different kind of pharmacotherapy lately, often just letting individuals wear themselves out, if they ever do. I think that during heavy crises, you might be able to help someone by being patient and using distraction—focusing on tastes, colors, smells, touch, peace, nature, or just random side topics that don't trigger manic or panic reactions. That is, provided the paranoia and that intense associative thinking haven't already locked them into an environment where they feel unsafe, which just keeps looping them back to the same dark thoughts... It's hard to say anything for certain, though, because the real question is how much of this is an obsession with those ideas versus him being unable to function in anything else, especially when it comes to finding peace.

Look, honey, you’ve got a massive problem on your hands. There isn't much you can do to help him.

He’s already been to the professionals in a small town, and it didn't work. Claiming that reptiles are going to invade Earth isn't just "being sensitive" or "emotional"—that's full-blown psychosis. He's completely lost touch with reality.

Just look out for yourself. Get out of this relationship. Maybe take a moment to wonder what led you to date someone like this in the first place, just so you don't end up here again.

Jerry Martinez5 said:Look, honey, you’ve got a massive problem on your hands. There isn't much you can do to help him.

He’s already been to the professionals in a small town, and it didn't work. Claiming that reptiles are going to invade Earth isn't just "being sensitive" or "emotional"—that's full-blown psychosis. He's completely lost touch with reality.

Just look out for yourself. Get out of this relationship. Maybe take a moment to wonder what led you to date someone like this in the first place, just so you don't end up here again.

It’s not even really about him believing that reptilians are going to descend upon Earth—I mean, David Icke thinks they’ve been running the show since forever—it’s more about the fact that he’s actually terrified of them. He just doesn't seem to have any kind of mental defense mechanism against stuff like that, I guess. Maybe he just hasn't figured out how to wrap his head around it yet.

I mean, to actually buy into something like that, you’d probably have to believe and disbelieve a whole bunch of other things at the same time, which I guess just makes his entire way of thinking such a massive, tangled mess.

Look, it’s not like he’s definitely going to come through for you in some small town, either. And honestly, I don't think you necessarily have to cut him off entirely just to protect your own peace of mind. Maybe just... keep a little distance? A bit of breathing room might be enough.

I guess I should probably wrap things up by bringing up Jung. He once said something along the lines of, "Once you cure someone of schizophrenia, you'll just find a bunch of colleagues claiming the patient never actually had it in the first place." It’s kind of a wild thought, isn't it? But maybe he was onto something there.

Look, if you're just being a coward about it, you really don't need to push that specific way of handling things on everyone else. Not everyone needs that exact same approach when they're trying to help someone out. I mean, have you actually ever left someone hanging in a situation like that before? Or is this just how you roll?

Jeremy Alvarez5 said:It’s not even really about him believing that reptilians are going to descend upon Earth—I mean, David Icke thinks they’ve been running the show since forever—it’s more about the fact that he’s actually terrified of them. He just doesn't seem to have any kind of mental defense mechanism against stuff like that, I guess. Maybe he just hasn't figured out how to wrap his head around it yet.

I mean, to actually buy into something like that, you’d probably have to believe and disbelieve a whole bunch of other things at the same time, which I guess just makes his entire way of thinking such a massive, tangled mess.

Look, it’s not like he’s definitely going to come through for you in some small town, either. And honestly, I don't think you necessarily have to cut him off entirely just to protect your own peace of mind. Maybe just... keep a little distance? A bit of breathing room might be enough.

I guess I should probably wrap things up by bringing up Jung. He once said something along the lines of, "Once you cure someone of schizophrenia, you'll just find a bunch of colleagues claiming the patient never actually had it in the first place." It’s kind of a wild thought, isn't it? But maybe he was onto something there.

Look, if you're just being a coward about it, you really don't need to push that specific way of handling things on everyone else. Not everyone needs that exact same approach when they're trying to help someone out. I mean, have you actually ever left someone hanging in a situation like that before? Or is this just how you roll?

Yes, I have. My own brother. Because that’s what the "experts" told me to do.

They said: he needs help. Serious help. And since he’s refusing it, it's because you guys are enabling him. Cut all ties. It’s the only way to actually help him. Only by cutting him off will he be forced to seek treatment.

So, that’s exactly what happened.

You have to help someone who’s actually asking for it.

If you've got a sick family member who refuses any kind of real assistance, then making them lunch, doing their laundry, and handing over cash isn't actually helping. You're just subsidizing their illness and facilitating their downward spiral.

A lot of people do this because they're ashamed. They worry about what the neighbors might think. So, they hide the sickness from the world, playing along to make the person seem totally fine. It’s essentially the same as if someone had cancer and you encouraged them to skip the hospital just so you wouldn't look bad. I guess you'd rather see them die than deal with the embarrassment. 👎

Jerry Martinez5 said:Yes, I have. My own brother. Because that’s what the "experts" told me to do.

They said: he needs help. Serious help. And since he’s refusing it, it's because you guys are enabling him. Cut all ties. It’s the only way to actually help him. Only by cutting him off will he be forced to seek treatment.

So, that’s exactly what happened.

Look, I guess there's something about the bond between blood relatives that just doesn't vanish overnight. It's not like you can just delete a lifetime of growing up together from someone's brain just by going no-contact for a while or deciding you aren't going to indulge their manic episodes anymore.

Just like you have your experience with your brother, I suppose there are others out there with close family members who ended up committing suicide right inside a facility or immediately after being released during their treatment phase.

It isn't easy to pinpoint whether the "cure" happened or if a tragedy occurred because of specific factors. Even when doctors try to isolate patients, social dynamics still happen. Beyond just the meds, things like talking to other patients, interacting with the staff, or even having visitors can heavily impact a patient's psychological state.

But maybe, if this woman hasn't been able to positively influence her loved one by now, she doesn't need advice on how to change *him*. Maybe she needs to look at herself. It’s possible she plays some part in the existential architecture of paranoia he's built around his life. At the end of the day, it really comes down to whether she wants to keep doing this. If she doesn't feel she has the strength or the will anymore, I reckon she should just leave it to the professionals. But if she's second-guessing and looking for other ways to intervene... well, that's complicated. The doctors have him anyway; he's probably using drugs regardless, and they might medicate him, but what happens when he's back in the exact same environment that triggered everything in the first place?

A psychologist would approach it one way (well, maybe a more "motivated" one), whereas a psychiatrist would take a totally different route...

Jerry Martinez5 said:You have to help someone who’s actually asking for it.

If you've got a sick family member who refuses any kind of real assistance, then making them lunch, doing their laundry, and handing over cash isn't actually helping. You're just subsidizing their illness and facilitating their downward spiral.

A lot of people do this because they're ashamed. They worry about what the neighbors might think. So, they hide the sickness from the world, playing along to make the person seem totally fine. It’s essentially the same as if someone had cancer and you encouraged them to skip the hospital just so you wouldn't look bad. I guess you'd rather see them die than deal with the embarrassment. 👎

I think we can agree on that, though I'd say it with a few caveats. The real challenge, I guess, is identifying those specific factors that are destroying the patient (and by extension, their family) and knowing how to act on them. Because let's be real, there are people who spend their entire lives in therapy and nothing ever changes.

Jeremy Alvarez5: Her guy is psychotic. He needs help. First, he needs to stick to his meds consistently, and then, once things settle down, maybe some psychotherapy.

If he actually agrees to treatment, there’s no reason for her to walk away. In that case, she’s being a support system. When he finally accepted help, I was there for my brother, just like I am today.

But if he refuses treatment, she’s just enabling his illness. Tomorrow, he could lose it and decide she's some kind of monster he needs to take out. Staying with him doesn't help unless he's already under medical care. If he rejects that, it's probably better for both of them if she just leaves.

Jerry Martinez5 said:Jeremy Alvarez5: Her guy is psychotic. He needs help. First, he needs to stick to his meds consistently, and then, once things settle down, maybe some psychotherapy.

If he actually agrees to treatment, there’s no reason for her to walk away. In that case, she’s being a support system. When he finally accepted help, I was there for my brother, just like I am today.

But if he refuses treatment, she’s just enabling his illness. Tomorrow, he could lose it and decide she's some kind of monster he needs to take out. Staying with him doesn't help unless he's already under medical care. If he rejects that, it's probably better for both of them if she just leaves.

👍

I guess I’d just add that psychotherapy usually happens alongside medication, and honestly, it often unfolds through a bunch of random coincidences and factors that, generally speaking, a therapist might not pay enough attention to—even though they can be pretty significant or even decisive, whether it's while the patient is medicated or sometime down the road.

And once the whole treatment phase wraps up, a patient might slide back into a new kind of "depression." This happens because, due to their condition, they might have burned bridges or realized how people around them really view them, forcing them to rethink their entire future. At the end of the day, the therapist's specific perspective or willpower plays a role too, I suppose... it's all part of the mix.

You seem to have gotten pretty deep into psychology, but I think for most people, it really comes down to those individual value systems, which might be more easily influenced by people who actually know them... But again, I'm circling back to the old question: how close are they actually, and how much are they just hurting each other?

Anyway, if someone tries to do something without truly believing in themselves—if they're just pushing through it half-heartedly, or whatever—then that lack of confidence gets passed right along to the person they're with through non-verbal cues.

ugh, look, the issue is he’s read way too much La material (you can find it on ScienceMag) and listened to far too much David Icke. Then there's that whole Terence McKenna theory about using DMT to realize the reptilians are already among us... he’s dying to try a trip and some DMT just because of that. He isn't actually scared, though. It's more like he's banking on 2012, hoping things will finally get better. He doesn't feel right in his own skin, so he's just waiting for some massive global shift that promises to reshape reality into what he actually wants.
The guy is incredibly smart and talented in a lot of ways. Honestly, under perfect conditions, he probably acts normal six out of seven days a week. His detachment from reality only really shows up in his philosophy—stuff most people call crazy, even if plenty of "normal" people believe it. Christians believe in God and the Devil, so what's the difference if he believes in reptilians? I don't think he's mentally ill because of it, I'm just worried that his fear of life might push him toward some extreme, or that he'll get way too carried away with this stuff.
He has a totally dysfunctional family that does nothing but insult and belittle him, and that's what he fears most—being humiliated. He's still immature... I keep thinking that once he grows up and builds some actual self-confidence, he'll realize how many mistakes he's making with these current ideals of his.

Sure, "sanity" is just a subjective label. Plenty of people ahead of their time were branded as crazy, while those acting totally normal were actually just sociopaths or psychopaths hiding behind double lives. It’s all relative.
Look, do you really think someone who's depressed because their life is a total wreck at 21 is "insane"? You honestly believe psychiatry and drugging them up with a cocktail of pills is going to help? Plus, they probably already struggle with substance abuse—do they really need an addiction to meds on top of that? Antipsychotics, sedatives, antidepressants... yeah, great idea. 🙄
Way too much unconventional behavior gets labeled as madness. Most of the time, it's just the surrounding environment and its constant judgment and prejudice that actually creates disorders in sensitive people.

"Quote:"

urbandrifter8 said:Sure, "sanity" is just a subjective label. Plenty of people ahead of their time were branded as crazy, while those acting totally normal were actually just sociopaths or psychopaths hiding behind double lives. It’s all relative.
Look, do you really think someone who's depressed because their life is a total wreck at 21 is "insane"? You honestly believe psychiatry and drugging them up with a cocktail of pills is going to help? Plus, they probably already struggle with substance abuse—do they really need an addiction to meds on top of that? Antipsychotics, sedatives, antidepressants... yeah, great idea. 🙄
Way too much unconventional behavior gets labeled as madness. Most of the time, it's just the surrounding environment and its constant judgment and prejudice that actually creates disorders in sensitive people.

Look, honey, if you really want to bury your head in the sand, go right ahead. Be my guest.
I'm not gonna try to talk sense into you.☕

But seriously, ask yourself if you’re actually doing okay—if you look at the mess described in that opening post and don't think it's a total red alert.
Good luck!👋

urbandrifter8 said:ugh, look, the issue is he’s read way too much La material (you can find it on ScienceMag) and listened to far too much David Icke. Then there's that whole Terence McKenna theory about using DMT to realize the reptilians are already among us... he’s dying to try a trip and some DMT just because of that. He isn't actually scared, though. It's more like he's banking on 2012, hoping things will finally get better. He doesn't feel right in his own skin, so he's just waiting for some massive global shift that promises to reshape reality into what he actually wants.
The guy is incredibly smart and talented in a lot of ways. Honestly, under perfect conditions, he probably acts normal six out of seven days a week. His detachment from reality only really shows up in his philosophy—stuff most people call crazy, even if plenty of "normal" people believe it. Christians believe in God and the Devil, so what's the difference if he believes in reptilians? I don't think he's mentally ill because of it, I'm just worried that his fear of life might push him toward some extreme, or that he'll get way too carried away with this stuff.
He has a totally dysfunctional family that does nothing but insult and belittle him, and that's what he fears most—being humiliated. He's still immature... I keep thinking that once he grows up and builds some actual self-confidence, he'll realize how many mistakes he's making with these current ideals of his.

Parents...

He's running away from problems he doesn't feel capable of solving and retreating into a world where he might actually feel okay in his own skin... He needs his parents, but he can't establish the kind of relationship he wants with them, and he just hasn't hit that stage of maturity yet...

He escapes into these various "ideals," but honestly, besides not knowing how to face his parents, he seems to be struggling socially too, like he can't pick up on other people's needs or really connect with them...

Maybe you're being a bit too accommodating to him, wanting things to look better than they really are because you're afraid of the relationship ending. Because there isn't enough critical feedback coming his way (parental feedback usually just boils down to criticism anyway), his connection with you ends up becoming secondary to everything else. He's looking for a mountain to climb over because he can't deal with his parents, and he's likely running from other things too. This lack of perspective might actually make things worse since he doesn't have a vision for his future, other than this unrealistic one, so he feels forced to cling to it as his only option.

He probably fears the world he *wants* to believe in, because if he weren't so afraid, he wouldn't need to devote so much attention to these things... Maybe that's part of why he's pulling away from you, too—he doesn't want to commit seriously. Maybe even your attempts to reach out feel insulting to him; by not playing along with his delusions and trying to bring him back to reality, he might feel like you're acting just like his parents, trying to pull him in your direction when you two don't share the same vision yet. Maybe this obsession is just a way to compensate for a lack of genuine honesty between you two (though, I guess most relationships are built on hopes that rise and fall, over and over, leaving everything feeling a bit unsettled...) ...

I'm just guessing here, purely speculation based on a tiny bit of text...

Regardless, if the psychosis is severe enough that they're talking about sending him to a mental hospital in a small town, he probably lacks strength in certain areas and the core values most people rely on. The question is exactly where and how he experiences these disappointments and what he's so afraid of losing, because he just doesn't seem to have enough faith in himself...

Well, I actually know your boyfriend—and honestly, anyone who’s met him would recognize him instantly from your description. I was just catching up with him while he was working on some repairs, and he was telling me all about his latest urge to go jump off a bridge... and looking at the calendar, it seems he’s still around for another week or so.
From what I can gather, he’s been making these suicide threats for maybe five or six years now, and I believe he’s actually attempted it about fifteen times.

I’ve engaged in these incredibly long, exhausting debates with him regarding his various paranormal delusions and those theories about reptilians, but at this point, that’s just his lifestyle; I’ve simply thrown my hands up in resignation.

Someone mentioned his parents earlier... and that really is the crux of it. He has been desperate for their attention for as long as I can remember, creating this endless, exhausting cycle.

This is an incredibly difficult situation; I can't help but think a little "tough love" might actually do wonders here, though perhaps my methods are a bit too extreme for most people. 🤷🤷🤷