What is this?

I’ve never actually said this to anyone before. Honestly, I’d rather just hear what you all think...
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve felt like a slave to my own set of rules and rituals. I’ve always had these rigid principles about how things have to be done. Even today, if I’m making a sandwich, there has to be an exact, symmetrical number of slices of turkey and cheese laid out perfectly. It’s the same with brushing my teeth. There’s a specific sequence I follow—exactly how many times I wash my face, how many times I spit out the water and toothpaste, and so on. If I accidentally break one of these rules, I feel compelled to invent some kind of penance. For instance, if I wash my face four times instead of three, I have to pour water over the sink faucet twice. If I fail to follow my own internal logic, I get incredibly frustrated. That’s why I invented these little "punishments"... they’re meant to restore balance to my rules.
I know, it sounds bizarre. 🙂
And then there’s the talking to myself. It happens constantly. Sometimes, while I’m talking, I’ll feel like I didn’t pronounce a word quite right, so I’ll repeat that same word over and over until it feels "correct." When I’m thinking about something, too, I often find I can't control the direction of my thoughts. For example, if I visualize a man running, eventually he’s going to take off sprinting. No matter how hard I try with my mind, I can’t force him back down to the ground.
It happens with any thought—a bicycle, a plane, anything at all...
When I’m watching a movie, I’ll sometimes get the nagging feeling that I missed a tiny, insignificant detail. So, I end up rewinding the film just so I can be absolutely certain I saw and heard everything. Or when a song comes on, I have to listen to it until the very end, even if I’m in a rush or supposed to be somewhere else.
I have these other patterns too, like which months I need to trim my hair or when I start wearing a jacket. Sometimes I’ll walk outside without a coat and freeze my ass off because it's freezing, simply because my "jacket season" doesn't officially start until next month.😁
I am obsessively focused on details. When I clean a shirt or my sneakers, there can't be a single speck of dust left on them. I won't miss a single stray thread. I wipe down my computer mouse every single time someone else uses it. When I write a text or an email, I check it multiple times to ensure it's written perfectly...
There's so much more, really. I can't even remember all the different rules and habits I have... there are just too many.
I often wonder how interesting it would be if the whole world operated by my rules. I don't see this as a problem within myself. Besides, nobody else sees it anyway; it’s all just happening inside my head. Could this be some kind of OCD or something similar? I don't know. What do you guys think?

I’d say this is just a textbook example of the UN.🙂

UN 99%.

Would be happy 😁

Growing up, I honestly assumed everyone else operated the same way. It’s almost impossible for me to wrap my head around how other people just handle all those little things spontaneously 😛
...

crimsontinker7 said:Growing up, I honestly assumed everyone else operated the same way. It’s almost impossible for me to wrap my head around how other people just handle all those little things spontaneously 😛
...

UN

I’m dealing with the exact same thing—it's basically classic OCD. But honestly, I’ve learned how to get a handle on it, and if an obsession starts creeping in, I can usually shake it off pretty easily just by using some willpower. My advice? Start trying to break the habit in the evenings. Just try to push through and see how long you can go without performing the "ritual," and there's a good chance that obsessive thought won't even be there by tomorrow... Of course, I know it might be a much tougher climb for some people than it is for me.

Honestly, I don't even take this stuff seriously anymore. It’s become completely routine for me...😁
Maybe it's just a tiny bit weird, though..

Quincy:

Honestly, I don't even take it that seriously anymore. It’s just become part of the daily routine for me at this point It’s maybe just a little bit weird...

But man, it can get pretty intense when it hits you right in the middle of some major exam or something. 🙂

crimsontinker7 said:Honestly, I don't even take this stuff seriously anymore. It’s become completely routine for me...😁
Maybe it's just a tiny bit weird, though..

Well, it feels "routine" to everyone at the UN because they've been dealing with it for years. But damn it—it still ISN'T normal.😁

Quincy:

I mean, for everyone dealing with OCD, this stuff feels totally "normal" because they've been living with it for years. But seriously, let's call it what it is—it's NOT normal...

Honestly, I feel like it’s actually more abnormal when someone *doesn't* have OCD.😁 Like, seeing someone skip washing their hands after using the restroom or licking their fingers while they're eating? That absolutely kills me.

David Kelly81 said:Quincy:

I mean, for everyone dealing with OCD, this stuff feels totally "normal" because they've been living with it for years. But seriously, let's call it what it is—it's NOT normal...

Honestly, I feel like it’s actually more abnormal when someone *doesn't* have OCD.😁 Like, seeing someone skip washing their hands after using the restroom or licking their fingers while they're eating? That absolutely kills me.

I haven't run into anyone like that yet either.🤷 🤣🤣

crimsontinker7 said:Honestly, I don't even take this stuff seriously anymore. It’s become completely routine for me...😁
Maybe it's just a tiny bit weird, though..

Go watch that Sherlock Holmes series😁

David Kelly81 said:Quincy:

I mean, for everyone dealing with OCD, this stuff feels totally "normal" because they've been living with it for years. But seriously, let's call it what it is—it's NOT normal...

Honestly, I feel like it’s actually more abnormal when someone *doesn't* have OCD.😁 Like, seeing someone skip washing their hands after using the restroom or licking their fingers while they're eating? That absolutely kills me.

Now, that bolded part and having decent manners are two entirely different issues.

Jonathan Roberts said:Now, that bolded part and having decent manners are two entirely different issues.

That’s exactly what I was getting at.🙄

I’ve been doing some reading and watching stuff on YouTube lately, and yeah, this is definitely OCD 😁
Looking at what other people deal with, my own struggles don't seem quite as extreme :/
Are there any other OCD sufferers on this forum?
I heard from someone that it can escalate to the point where, say, a mother gets these intrusive thoughts about killing her children with a knife, leading her to throw every sharp object out of the house...
For me, it happens often when I'm near a window holding something valuable—I get this sudden urge to hurl it through the glass. It's like my hand just twitches on its own. Then I feel absolutely horrified by the thought, and I somehow manage to force myself to control it 😛
Or when I'm washing my face with soap, I frequently find myself opening my eyes, just because of this senseless, irrational compulsion. And then I end up stinging my eyes, suffering for fifteen minutes straight because of one stupid impulse...
I’m trying to figure out if others with OCD experience this too—this specific sensation. You perform the same action repeatedly, but you aren't satisfied. So you keep doing it over and over again (whether it's snapping your fingers or flipping a light switch, doesn't matter) until suddenly, there's this feeling... that specific feeling that tells you the urge has finally been met.
Personally, what bugs me most is when I mispronounce a word. I have to repeat it endlessly until that sense of satisfaction kicks in. 😁 It's just like in the movie The Aviator, where Leonardo DiCaprio keeps repeating words.
It's fascinating in a weird way, though I have no idea where it all comes from lol...
With me, the thing is that I can stay completely composed around other people. I'm the type who is always hyper-aware of how others perceive me, so I simply won't allow myself to look like a lunatic in front of anyone 😁

I’m actually fascinated by how self-aware you are about all this. You clearly realize that being penalized just because you washed your face three times instead of four—or refusing to wear a jacket simply because it isn't your season—is completely irrational. That part is honestly the best bit to me...😂

Please don't take this as me making fun of you, but if you're truly aware that these things aren't normal, why do you still go through with them?....We all have our little quirks and useless rituals....Personally, I find myself counting tiles on the floor or cars in a parking lot, whatever catches my eye...but once I hit ten, I usually just lose interest...🙂

Just relax. I was the exact same way when I was a kid. I’d just pick some random word and repeat it over and over until it felt "right," then I'd finally feel okay again. Once I grew up, the UN stuff just vanished. No clue where it went.

casualmoose14 said:I’m actually fascinated by how self-aware you are about all this. You clearly realize that being penalized just because you washed your face three times instead of four—or refusing to wear a jacket simply because it isn't your season—is completely irrational. That part is honestly the best bit to me...😂

Please don't take this as me making fun of you, but if you're truly aware that these things aren't normal, why do you still go through with them?....We all have our little quirks and useless rituals....Personally, I find myself counting tiles on the floor or cars in a parking lot, whatever catches my eye...but once I hit ten, I usually just lose interest...🙂

That’s exactly the point. You see everything clearly, yet you find yourself stuck in this endless loop of pointless, repetitive actions. It's like some invisible force in your brain is just pulling the strings... I could probably get my act together if I really tried—it's not like my life is a total disaster—but then I watch a few videos on YouTube and it's just devastating...

I mean, look, doing everything by the book is fine when you’re flying solo. It’s all about that grind, staying disciplined, keeping things tight.
But let’s be real... eventually, you’re gonna hit a wall and burn out, and then things are gonna get messy.

My husband is basically the exact same way as you, especially when it comes to his wardrobe. For him, it isn't even about if it's actually freezing or warm outside, he just insists on wearing what the season dictates. His desk is always surgically clean, too. When he makes the bed, I'm talking hotel-quality, not a single wrinkle in sight. If we're watching a movie, he has to track every single detail perfectly. Everything he touches, he does with this intense, perfectionist energy where it literally couldn't be done any better.

So, honestly? I make a point of being a little bit of a mess just so he's got something to do.

crimsontinker7 said:I’ve never actually said this to anyone before. Honestly, I’d rather just hear what you all think...
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve felt like a slave to my own set of rules and rituals. I’ve always had these rigid principles about how things have to be done. Even today, if I’m making a sandwich, there has to be an exact, symmetrical number of slices of turkey and cheese laid out perfectly. It’s the same with brushing my teeth. There’s a specific sequence I follow—exactly how many times I wash my face, how many times I spit out the water and toothpaste, and so on. If I accidentally break one of these rules, I feel compelled to invent some kind of penance. For instance, if I wash my face four times instead of three, I have to pour water over the sink faucet twice. If I fail to follow my own internal logic, I get incredibly frustrated. That’s why I invented these little "punishments"... they’re meant to restore balance to my rules.
I know, it sounds bizarre. 🙂
And then there’s the talking to myself. It happens constantly. Sometimes, while I’m talking, I’ll feel like I didn’t pronounce a word quite right, so I’ll repeat that same word over and over until it feels "correct." When I’m thinking about something, too, I often find I can't control the direction of my thoughts. For example, if I visualize a man running, eventually he’s going to take off sprinting. No matter how hard I try with my mind, I can’t force him back down to the ground.
It happens with any thought—a bicycle, a plane, anything at all...
When I’m watching a movie, I’ll sometimes get the nagging feeling that I missed a tiny, insignificant detail. So, I end up rewinding the film just so I can be absolutely certain I saw and heard everything. Or when a song comes on, I have to listen to it until the very end, even if I’m in a rush or supposed to be somewhere else.
I have these other patterns too, like which months I need to trim my hair or when I start wearing a jacket. Sometimes I’ll walk outside without a coat and freeze my ass off because it's freezing, simply because my "jacket season" doesn't officially start until next month.😁
I am obsessively focused on details. When I clean a shirt or my sneakers, there can't be a single speck of dust left on them. I won't miss a single stray thread. I wipe down my computer mouse every single time someone else uses it. When I write a text or an email, I check it multiple times to ensure it's written perfectly...
There's so much more, really. I can't even remember all the different rules and habits I have... there are just too many.
I often wonder how interesting it would be if the whole world operated by my rules. I don't see this as a problem within myself. Besides, nobody else sees it anyway; it’s all just happening inside my head. Could this be some kind of OCD or something similar? I don't know. What do you guys think?

If it provides you any comfort, I have my own share of these little absurdities. Though, I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm particularly crazy, haha.
I also wipe down my mouse if anyone so much as glances at it. And I never sit on a toilet seat without scrubbing it first with disinfectant. It isn't a phobia of germs or a fear of getting sick; it’s just the thought of someone sitting there with their bare backside right before me that makes my skin crawl.
It’s the same deal with my clothes. There are times in the fall when I’m sweating through my shirt because I’m still stuck in my heavy coat and boots. And then, conversely, I’ll find myself freezing my skin off. 🙂
Lately, I’ve found myself increasingly agitated by a peculiar compulsion that seems to be taking hold: the absolute, unwavering refusal to ever walk down the same street twice in a single day. If I head out toward my office in the morning, I find it physically grating to take that same route home. It’s an irrational impulse, really, and frankly, it makes navigating the simple logistics of life in a city like Chicago far more complicated than it needs to be.