Learn from your parents or...?

Should you learn from your parents or...?

...the mere fact that you're asking this shows you have some critical distance, which is essential for any real learning.

My answer? Absolutely! Learn from them! Even if they’re completely out of touch, you can't just erase them from your life, so why not extract value from them?
The key, however—and I cannot stress this enough—is applying that critical distance. It is an absolute must-have for anyone trying to grow.
- You cherry-pick what works and discard everything else.

The second major issue when dealing with parents is that the more we evolve away from them—even if we become more successful or accomplished—the further apart we drift. This is much easier to handle if your parents are decent people, like mine are, where a certain level of closeness feels natural. But (again, with critical distance and looking at the long term), I realize that closeness fluctuates even with them. I am willing to pay that price if it means becoming exactly who I want to be.

swifthawk23 said:Both of my parents spent my entire life ignoring me or tearing me down—honestly, I didn't walk away from that upbringing with much besides one hard-earned lesson: don't end up like them. To them, nothing matters more than their own immediate comfort, and they'll step over anyone to get it.

I guess I could say I had a similar experience, though it was more like they just avoided me and neglected me; I was never really that kid who mattered to them.
Now I'm sitting here wondering; maybe the reason I value honesty and family so much—and why I want to build a totally different kind of home one day—is because of that, or maybe there's some other influence at play.
My dad never really figured out how to be a father (which, obviously, won't affect how I am when I have kids!) and my mom checked out on me from a really young age. So, looking at how some moms treat their kids these days, I honestly just feel bad for them, and I see parts of myself in those situations.