The bank is taking my entire paycheck...

Gregory Williams7 said:I simply want to express how truly disheartening this entire situation is to hear. You present yourself as a decent person who, through nothing more than a series of unfortunate investments and poor associations, has ended up completely destitute.

I realize this may be an uncomfortable thing to say, but if you are certain your partner possesses sufficient funds to provide everything that child requires—ensuring they are well-fed and well-provided for—there may be a legal avenue to petition for a reduction or cessation of child support if circumstances become dire enough. Navigating a modification through the US court system can drag on for years. Contrast that with a bank; if you miss payments on a mortgage or a loan, the warnings start immediately, and they will move to foreclose on your home before you know it.

It is merely a thought. I wish you luck.

This is seriously not okay 👎 ... like I already said, it doesn't matter one bit whether the mother of his child is loaded. Even if she were the richest woman in America, he still has a legal obligation to pay child support...

And honestly, you all just accepted these support payments like you were drunk on them... give me a break...

Lawrence Wright7 said:I’m just sitting here, tapping my foot, waiting on a response from Zaba...

In the meantime, I’ve started looking for some tenants.
The place is a decent size, about 750 square feet, two bedrooms—so I can definitely make that work.
Come summer, I might even try my luck renting it out to tourists...
But honestly? My biggest hope is seeing those interest rates finally take a dive. What are the actual odds of that happening anytime soon, say, by the end of this year?

Seriously, how much time has already slipped by?? Just give them a call. Better yet, actually show up at the branch and ask in person... be a total nuisance to them until they answer you...

As for those tenants, 👍 👍

Gregory Williams7 said:While Rohatinski serves as the Governor of the Federal Reserve, there is a 0% chance.

Interest rates have got to come down, and I mean fast... just fast... because honestly? This whole situation is becoming absolutely unbearable.

Gregory Williams7 said:I simply want to express how truly disheartening this entire situation is to hear. You present yourself as a decent person who, through nothing more than a series of unfortunate investments and poor associations, has ended up completely destitute.

I realize this may be an uncomfortable thing to say, but if you are certain your partner possesses sufficient funds to provide everything that child requires—ensuring they are well-fed and well-provided for—there may be a legal avenue to petition for a reduction or cessation of child support if circumstances become dire enough. Navigating a modification through the US court system can drag on for years. Contrast that with a bank; if you miss payments on a mortgage or a loan, the warnings start immediately, and they will move to foreclose on your home before you know it.

It is merely a thought. I wish you luck.

Look, I don't care how much this is hitting my wallet... I’m going to keep paying every single cent of that alimony, on time, every time. Period. No excuses.
Look, let me be perfectly clear here—this money is strictly for my kid. It’s for my child. Not for some ex-girlfriend, you hear me? I know, I know, she's the one currently holding onto the funds, and that's exactly why this is such a headache. That's how I'm looking at it. It's about the future of my kid, plain and simple, regardless of who happens to have the checkbook right now.
Everything I do—every single thing—is just me grinding, fighting, working myself to the bone, and making sacrifices I never thought I’d have to make... and honestly? A huge part of that is all because of my kid. It's constant. It's relentless.
In maybe ten years... if I'm lucky enough to leave anything behind at all—I just hope I’m still around to see it happen, even if it’s just by the skin of my teeth.
I’ll find another way. I'm going to figure this out if it's the last thing I do.

So, I just sat down with my banker, and they laid out two options on the table.

1) Stretching the loan term out to 35 years. This would drop my monthly payment by about $67.
Going from $1267 down to $3,600, which—let’s be honest—is still freaking massive.
2) A principal increase loan... I think that's the technical term they used...
Basically: a 6-month payment holiday where the monthly amount is $0.00.
But there's a 3.5% bump to the principal because the bank doesn't get their cut during that time.
Since my current principal is $549,000, Chase says that would mean a principal hike of roughly $6333.
The folks over at Chase told me this.
Naturally, because the principal goes up, my monthly payment will jump by maybe $100-$50 after the
payment holiday ends.

I actually pushed them to approve a 12-month deferment instead. They’re "reviewing" it, but they kept insisting that a 6-month pause is standard practice.

Honestly? Neither of these looks great.
I'm leaning toward option 2.
A lot can happen in 12 months... who knows, maybe interest rates will actually drop for once...

What do you all think?
Thanks.

And why on earth couldn't we just do both?

I mean, look, you implement a six—or even a twelve—month moratorium while simultaneously extending the total repayment term... but if you do that, you’re essentially just breaking even at best.🤔

Lawrence Wright7 said:Interest rates have got to come down, and I mean fast... just fast... because honestly? This whole situation is becoming absolutely unbearable.

there isn't much left to do besides wait for the end
personally, I have a feeling we're going to see more price hikes coming, especially with everything going on with the dollar and all the chaos surrounding it...

Unfortunately, I find myself forced to agree with Richard Lewis16 on this point. It seems we have finally found common ground. 😁

Lawrence Wright7 said:So, I just sat down with my banker, and they laid out two options on the table.

1) Stretching the loan term out to 35 years. This would drop my monthly payment by about $67.
Going from $1267 down to $3,600, which—let’s be honest—is still freaking massive.
2) A principal increase loan... I think that's the technical term they used...
Basically: a 6-month payment holiday where the monthly amount is $0.00.
But there's a 3.5% bump to the principal because the bank doesn't get their cut during that time.
Since my current principal is $549,000, Chase says that would mean a principal hike of roughly $6333.
The folks over at Chase told me this.
Naturally, because the principal goes up, my monthly payment will jump by maybe $100-$50 after the
payment holiday ends.

I actually pushed them to approve a 12-month deferment instead. They’re "reviewing" it, but they kept insisting that a 6-month pause is standard practice.

Honestly? Neither of these looks great.
I'm leaning toward option 2.
A lot can happen in 12 months... who knows, maybe interest rates will actually drop for once...

What do you all think?
Thanks.

Just keep in mind that if you extend from 30 to 35 years, you're looking at an extra $57 in total interest (on paper, obviously, since inflation over those 30 years will eat up a chunk of the actual value).
If the principal jumps by 3.5% on a 30-year term, the monthly payment climbs by $43, and total interest goes up by about $15333. If you pay off that higher principal over 35 years, the monthly payment stays right around the same (3800), but you end up paying about $67 more in total interest.
I ignored those first two years of payments—it's not like we've paid off more than $3333 of the principal anyway, barely even 2%😢.

Gregory Williams7 said:Unfortunately, I find myself forced to agree with Richard Lewis16 on this point. It seems we have finally found common ground. 😁

I really, truly hope you guys are all wrong about this...

Look, the truth is this apartment is becoming a massive anchor dragging you down. Your income might cover a "normal" lifestyle without crushing mortgage payments, but neither lower interest rates nor child support is going to save you here. You basically have two moves: find a way to bring in more cash or cut your spending. It’s noble that you want to leave an inheritance for your kid, but there's a real chance you'll just end up leaving them a mountain of debt instead. I mean, look at how things are going—you've been struggling for a while now, borrowing money just to stay afloat and constantly hitting that negative balance. This cycle will just keep repeating until you hit a wall, and then the bank is going to foreclose on the place, leaving you stuck with whatever you owe to the people you borrowed from. Thirty years is a hell of a long time, so there's plenty of room for more disasters like this to happen. Personally, I wouldn't bother negotiating with the bank to extend the loan terms; those adjustments are peanuts compared to what you actually need. You need a real shift—renting it out, selling, or swapping for something smaller—and you absolutely have to increase your income at the same time.

George Phillips said:Just keep in mind that if you extend from 30 to 35 years, you're looking at an extra $57 in total interest (on paper, obviously, since inflation over those 30 years will eat up a chunk of the actual value).
If the principal jumps by 3.5% on a 30-year term, the monthly payment climbs by $43, and total interest goes up by about $15333. If you pay off that higher principal over 35 years, the monthly payment stays right around the same (3800), but you end up paying about $67 more in total interest.
I ignored those first two years of payments—it's not like we've paid off more than $3333 of the principal anyway, barely even 2%😢.

When you're stuck between two evils, you just have to pick one... there's no other way forward.
I’ve already liquidated everything of value. Honestly, I’m riding a bicycle now and living more frugally than I ever thought possible. Selling my car finally cleared my overdraft, so I’m sitting at zero right now—but it’s a temporary zero, a fleeting moment of peace because the next installment is coming due, and then the one after that, and so on... it never stops.
What do you think I should do???

The weight of this is crushing me. The stress is constant; it's wrecking my health, I'm spiraling, I work, I save... I save, I sacrifice everything, yet I still find myself sinking deeper into the red. I just need a moment to breathe... to actually recover, mentally and physically.
My plan:
I'm thinking about going with option two. Suppose they grant me a 12-month moratorium during that period of the loan$0.00—that would give me enough room to catch my breath.
THE PLAN:
- Save aggressively like I have been to scrape together about $10000. (It would be a lifesaver to have that cushion for the upcoming payments)
- Rent the place out to tourists... hopefully, that brings in some decent cash if things go well..
- Take in some boarders until summer... I already posted an ad and prepped a room. That should bring in a little something.
- Once summer hits, there will be better opportunities to pick up extra shifts or side gigs for more cash.
- As a last resort, if nothing else works, I’ll have a year to move back to the Midwest to be near my parents and find a new job. I could rent the whole apartment to a young family and just cover the difference myself... say, the place goes for $833 + I chip in $1,000-$500... I could manage that until things stabilize.
- For the absolute endgame... I’ll sell the place. I picked it up at a steal for $1,050 per sq ft, and it's fully renovated.

One of these things has to work.

I basically ignored those first two years of mortgage payments, and honestly, what was the point? I’ve barely even touched the $3333 principal—not even 2%.

Trust me, I know exactly how this works...
Even though I practically handed the bank about $30000 dollars over those two years alone! 😠
I find myself spiraling sometimes, wondering why I'm even doing this in the first place...
I grind, I push myself, I make sacrifices, I sacrifice my own damn health, and for what? For the chance to end up with absolutely nothing in the end. 😕

Hey, you aren't losing everything, for crying out loud. 😕
At most, you're just getting rid of that heavy weight around your neck that's dragging you under.
Just picture this: no more crushing debt, and you get a totally clean slate starting right now.

Plus, you won't be chasing after money that isn't worth your health.

Unfortunately, Lawrence Wright7, you have to be careful... when even the people who usually disagree with you on everything start finding common ground, it’s rarely a good sign for us...
I honestly don't see any silver lining that could turn this whole situation around, because quite frankly, most of the people running the show are just steering us in the wrong direction. Interest rates have hit rock bottom out there, and now we're seeing that curve start its inevitable climb again—mind you, just ten years ago, mortgage rates dipped below 10%, which felt like a massive win at the time, but if everyone is whispering about 7% or 8% for long-term forecasts, we aren't exactly in the clear...

Since your folks are from the Midwest, I imagine you've felt the weight of some real hardship firsthand, maybe even more than most, but look at it this way: twenty-five years ago, people actually had something to their names, whereas twenty years ago, people were practically fleeing with nothing but a single suitcase, losing everything they owned... yet somehow, most people managed to pull themselves together and they're living a semi-normal life now, as much as anyone can...
Even though most of us on this forum are pretty materialistic, you seem to live by that old philosophy that money is just paper and what really matters is the man himself... 😉

Good luck with everything. I'll let you know how it goes.

I don't know what the market looks like where your place is, but I guess my first move would be selling it—maybe renting it out for a bit first so you aren't forced into a fire sale.
I mean, looking at those numbers (4500+1000 income vs. 920 + 3800 expenses), you're basically left with $273 for everything. Since utilities for a 750 sq ft place alone cost more than that, you aren't just failing to save, you're actually going into the red just to survive.
It’s sweet that you want to leave something for your little girl, but I'm not sure how that works out... like, is it an inheritance or are you giving it to her when she grows up? If it's an inheritance, she'll be waiting a long time (hopefully!), and while having property is great, I think sacrificing everything for 30 years is just too much. And if you're giving it to her later, you'll probably need a place of your own in 20 years, and you won't even be using this one since it'll be rented out (not to mention it'll need a total renovation after all those years of tenants). Plus, who knows about starting a new family down the road? That's a lot of years.
If selling the place (plus whatever extra you get) covers your debt to the bank, you could actually have a fresh start, especially if moving to the Midwest helps keep your costs way down. If you manage to set aside $833/month—which seems doable if you aren't paying rent and just covering food and utilities—you'd have $129333 after 10 years at 5% interest, or $222667 after 15 years. No one can say for sure what that'll be worth in dollars or how much space it'll buy you, but maybe a decent studio or small one-bedroom is realistic. Honestly, I think your daughter would be way happier if she had a smaller place right when she actually needs it, like when she's first starting out on her own.

Honestly, your best bet is to sell that condo and focus everything on paying down that loan. Trust me, the bank is NEVER going to work with you on this; they’ll squeeze you dry until you have nothing left. That one-year payment holiday will fly by before you even realize what hit you, too... and then you're looking at a thirty-five-year commitment. Yikes. Just sell the place, head back to the Midwest, and get a fresh start... believe me, it's much smarter than trying to play games with the bank!

Unfortunately, I find myself agreeing with everything stated above... In my estimation, this is by far the most sensible course of action. There simply isn't any room for negotiation with the bank beyond the terms you have already signed; anything else is just smoke and mirrors.

northerntiger said:Hey, you aren't losing everything, for crying out loud. 😕
At most, you're just getting rid of that heavy weight around your neck that's dragging you under.
Just picture this: no more crushing debt, and you get a totally clean slate starting right now.

Plus, you won't be chasing after money that isn't worth your health.

The real irony here? One of the main reasons... my health... is exactly why I decided to move out to California and buy a place.
Back when I was younger, I struggled with asthma constantly, so the climate out here is absolutely perfect for me.
But now? Between the stress and the sheer mental load, I'm basically wrecking my health on a daily basis... it just keeps getting worse.