Feeling sad and anxious

lonegardener said:Gentle and optimistic? Yeah, right. ☕ 🤣

Well, I guess it all just depends on how you take it. Personally? It kind of chills me out. 😁

Larry Thomas6 said:For as long as I can remember, my entire life has been tinted with this persistent sense of melancholy and longing. It’s not even that I had some textbook tragic childhood—you know, the cliché of growing up with emotionally absent parents or a brother you could never truly connect with amidst constant household friction. There were no grand traumas or cinematic tragedies; just a general lack of warmth.
Nowadays, my life looks perfectly put together on paper. I have my own family, stability, everything people strive for. Yet, there is almost zero genuine satisfaction to be found. Instead, there is this invincible anxiety. I am fully aware of this streak in my personality, and I try to manage it any way I can—I devour self-help books, take long walks through the local state parks, and so on. But then I realize I am simply trying to force myself to wear rose-colored glasses that I don't actually feel.
It only takes the smallest, most mundane thing to throw me off balance, leaving me crushed by anxiety and this deep-seated feeling that everything else is just an illusion. I look toward the future with apprehension. I attempt to find tiny moments of joy in the daily grind, but they all feel as fragile as a soap bubble ready to burst at any second. Every good thing that happens feels temporary, a mere mirage, while the grayness remains the only constant.
How does one change? This isn't just a phase; this is who I am. But I want to change. How????

It’s actually quite normal that those "little things" can knock you sideways, because there are just so many triggers around us that lead to a "quality" spiral. They aren't even really small things, I suppose—they are entire thematic clusters, packed with meanings and emotions that we are constantly perceiving and processing, and living through... just by walking through a city, for example. Let alone more complex activities. And there is also the issue with those small pleasures—why not try to expand them, much like those Tugaljiv moments, into the whole day, or a week, or longer, so that they might become a "constant" too? (Though, I guess that "constant" is just something we decide to settle on in our own heads.)

Just to illustrate this—and maybe as a bit of an exercise, building on that earlier musical example:

The Tugaljiv style — S.a.r.s.: Moldy Bread

The ecstatic, sensual style — a Griotte commercial from Hershey's, set to the melody of Hijo de la Luna

Both melodies (and the visuals) create an atmosphere that, for most people, carries a pretty strong emotional impact—which doesn't even have much to do with just the music, or even with Griotta, for that matter. Maybe it might help if you tried more often to seek out things that truly please you, things you like immensely, and things that can "hold" you for a longer period?

Music is, honestly, a fantastic tool for something like that. Both examples above—the "sad" one and the "ecstatic" one—have the potential to move a person. But, I don't know, I'm not sure what you think about that...

Nothing truly exists
Sometimes you pause, sometimes you push forward
The choice is yours, the decision is yours
When will you finally make your move? When?

Is it out of boredom or just pure habit?
Are you too afraid to put your heart on the line?
Perhaps everything will just fall into place, perhaps it all just appears
Spontaneously, just like that

Pure legend 😁

My advice? Feed yourself with positive thoughts. Always stay positive. There really isn't any other way...

crimsonheron80 said:Nothing truly exists
Sometimes you pause, sometimes you push forward
The choice is yours, the decision is yours
When will you finally make your move? When?

Is it out of boredom or just pure habit?
Are you too afraid to put your heart on the line?
Perhaps everything will just fall into place, perhaps it all just appears
Spontaneously, just like that

Pure legend 😁

My advice? Feed yourself with positive thoughts. Always stay positive. There really isn't any other way...

Get moving... change yourself... 🙂

Bare is an absolute king; he always knows how to lift my spirits 🙂

Hey everyone..
New here and could really use some help, advice, or even just suggestions..
So, I've been battling anxiety for about two years now..
Heart racing, chest tightness, mood swings, crying spells, sadness, insomnia... and worst of all, I can't get any work done when it hits.
I didn't run to a doctor right away; I tried to white-knuckle it myself. But now that I see it isn't going away, I finally sat down with my GP. I wasn't ready to jump straight to a psychiatrist yet. I went through all the tests and everything came back perfectly fine—physically, I'm healthy. It’s just that I can't deal with this feeling anymore, so I asked for something to take (not an antidepressant). He prescribed Xanax 0.5 twice a day, but it hasn't done much (I'm not crying as much, but that pressure in my chest and the palpitations are killing me). Now he wants me to try three times a day for a week to see if there's progress, otherwise he'll bump up the Xanax dose. PLEASE, if anyone has any advice or ideas, HELP. This state makes it impossible to work, and work is how I survive. Thanks so much for any help :/

Honestly, you should probably go talk to a professional—like a therapist or a psychiatrist. I really doubt meds alone are going to magically fix everything. You need someone to actually dig into the root of what’s going on, analyze the situation, and figure out the "why" behind it all before deciding on a treatment plan. And when I say treatment, I don't just mean pills; you’re likely looking at some form of cognitive behavioral therapy. You need to understand how you feel (which you already do), why you feel that way, and ultimately, how to actually move past it. Try digging through some similar threads here on the forum too. Learning from other people's experiences helps me, so don't be afraid to ask questions, vent, or just complain. Just don't give up. I'd love to see the rest of the community jump in here so we can all offer some support and advice. Hang in there, bluelynx50 🙂

Larry Thomas6 said:If it were actually that straightforward, this entire thread wouldn't exist. 😉
I am fully aware of what I am dealing with. I try to fix it. I read the psychology books, I even go through those mindless daily affirmations you find online, but at the end of the day, I have to conclude that it is all just an act. If you look at a black wall and insist it is white, the wall doesn't suddenly turn white.
I don't know how to fill this emptiness I feel. I am truly not a spoiled person; I don't care about designer brands, shopping sprees, or showing off. In fact, I despise all of that. I am at my happiest when I find a good book to lose myself in, but that is merely an escape, and one is supposed to actually live their life.
How does one find the will to face tomorrow?

We all hit these low points from time to time—though I realize it hits differently when it becomes your permanent reality. You might be caught in that frustrating cycle where even when something genuinely good happens, or something occurs that *should* lift your spirits, you can't actually feel it—it's like there's a barrier between you and the experience. That sense of emptiness, that total lack of joy... it's brutal. Have you considered diving into some literature specifically geared toward this? Or perhaps, purely as a way to bridge the gap, talking to a doctor about medication for depression or maybe even Xanax for the anxiety? Just something to help level the playing field so you can actually start enjoying the small things again. Believe me, everyone deserves to feel okay—including you. I truly mean that. I hope you find a way to prioritize your own well-being, because you really do deserve it. Hang in there.

They say those first few years of life are what truly shape who we become. It’s often argued that our early childhood experiences set the stage for whether we struggle with depression or anxiety later on in life.
In my opinion, that hits the mark about 90% of the time.

There are moments when everything just piles up at once—it feels like you're being squeezed from all sides—and you get that overwhelming sensation that you're about to snap. That’s usually exactly when the depression starts to settle in.

Ultimately, I think the most vital step is simply becoming self-aware of your own mental state.
Reading up on the subject, practicing breathing exercises, or working on building self-confidence (which is often the real game-changer) can be incredibly helpful tools. For many, these can make a difference even without professional therapy or medication—unless, of course, the situation has reached a more serious level.

I find myself experiencing all those exact same anxiety symptoms, though what’s really starting to rattle me is this sensation in my hands and arms... it feels as if they have absolutely no weight at all, almost like they're just floating away from me 🤦

Larry Thomas6 said:For as long as I can remember, my entire life has been tinted with this persistent sense of melancholy and longing. It’s not even that I had some textbook tragic childhood—you know, the cliché of growing up with emotionally absent parents or a brother you could never truly connect with amidst constant household friction. There were no grand traumas or cinematic tragedies; just a general lack of warmth.
Nowadays, my life looks perfectly put together on paper. I have my own family, stability, everything people strive for. Yet, there is almost zero genuine satisfaction to be found. Instead, there is this invincible anxiety. I am fully aware of this streak in my personality, and I try to manage it any way I can—I devour self-help books, take long walks through the local state parks, and so on. But then I realize I am simply trying to force myself to wear rose-colored glasses that I don't actually feel.
It only takes the smallest, most mundane thing to throw me off balance, leaving me crushed by anxiety and this deep-seated feeling that everything else is just an illusion. I look toward the future with apprehension. I attempt to find tiny moments of joy in the daily grind, but they all feel as fragile as a soap bubble ready to burst at any second. Every good thing that happens feels temporary, a mere mirage, while the grayness remains the only constant.
How does one change? This isn't just a phase; this is who I am. But I want to change. How????

Was there ever a time in your life when you weren't stuck in this constant state of melancholy? Can you even remember when it all started?

Just realized this was from 2009 🙂