How mindful are you of the world around you?

Jerry Martinez5 said:And why? You think you don't deserve a guy who actually puts you first instead of treating you like an afterthought? Someone who doesn't just ditch his plans with you the second someone else walks into the room? From what I can tell, he isn't even making a choice; he’s just doing whatever it takes to avoid being with you. But sure, he shows up on time for work or a midterm, right? Just think about how many times he actually manages to be punctual. Yeah, those are the only moments where he actually gives a damn about anything.

I’m not saying he doesn't care about you. It’s just that he’s gotten used to the idea that he can act however he wants because you’ll always tolerate it. If his buddies at the pub call him out, they’ll just head out without him if he says no. But you? You'll still be there waiting for him, I guess.

People don't change just because you have endless patience or because you lose your mind and snap at them. You aren't going to change your brother, I guess. Your only real option there is to cut communication down to the bare minimum. But a boyfriend? You can actually change that situation—by finding someone new.

The thing is, this is just how he treats everyone and everything. He's late to work every single day—either because he works somewhere where they don't care, or because he's a freelancer who sets his own schedule—but he's constantly late for everything except maybe one meeting. Appointments mean nothing to him. He'll invite friends over for dinner and then just ghost. Now, nobody invites him anymore; he basically forced the whole world to revolve around him. He pulled it off simply by being stubborn about it. People just accept him for who he is, and honestly, it's easier for him to be late and make up some stupid excuse than to just show up on time. It's like he's obsessed with being late!!! I mean, he works a ton, seriously, but it's only because he's disorganized, not because he's actually busy. I've already cut my brother down to minimal contact.

Adam Miller46 said:In my view, a person should be considerate toward everyone. Then, based on how people react and interact with you, you filter out those who deserve kindness from those who earn a "tit for tat" approach... because it is madness to offer bread to someone who is constantly throwing stones at you.

So here’s how today went down: On Friday, the three of us realized this one friend was already pissed at us—specifically at me. But it turns out she was actually mad at the second girl because she totally misinterpreted something in her head without even asking her first. Then the second girl got mad at her, and today I’m over here playing peacemaker, basically saying, "Hey, it wasn't even that big of a deal," trying to defend her. Long story short, those two told me I’m not all there for trying to justify her totally idiotic behavior. It really was stupid, but personally, I would've just forgiven her, had a quick chat about it—nothing heavy, just a little vent session—and moved on like it never happened. Instead, the second girl is going to sulk for a while, and then in a few days, everything will go back to "normal," but the rest of us are stuck feeling awkward whenever they hang out. People have this insane need to make life miserable for each other just to feel superior or smarter. Honestly, sometimes you just have to ignore stuff you can't change.🤷

So, by that logic, am I just the idiot here because I let it slide easily? And is the girl who’s going to "get over it" in a few days somehow more intelligent than me, or does she just love herself more, or what???

I find myself far too preoccupied with the world unfolding around me.

eh eh. total middle ground. I mean, you're being respectful to a point, but honestly? If roles were reversed, you wouldn't be acting this way toward your brother, your partner 😁, or even your best friend
.

I don't think I'm being inconsiderate, honestly—it’s more that I’m looking at this from my own perspective. My neighbor, who just moved in relatively recently, actually has the nerve to ring our doorbell just because he feels like having a chat (with my family). I mean, I could never see myself doing that—just showing up and ringing someone's bell without a really good reason...

I'm actually the exact opposite—I constantly find myself stepping into other people's shoes, trying to grasp how they feel and whatnot. I care about others... maybe a bit too much, if I'm being honest.

So, I was wondering—has all that virtue actually helped you build a lot of friendships? Or is it just not a guarantee that being a good person makes you more attractive to people in general?

People tend to treat you exactly how you let them ☕

I mean, I'll give them the green light to love me if they want to 🙂 but they just won't 🙂

Angela Morgan3 said:I mean, I'll give them the green light to love me if they want to 🙂 but they just won't 🙂

🤣🤣
it's keeping me amused at this late hour
👍

OT
I try to be considerate—but I’m also perfectly willing to be ruthless when the situation calls for it.

:asshole:

wiredmoose3 said:🤣🤣
it's keeping me amused at this late hour
👍

OT
I try to be considerate—but I’m also perfectly willing to be ruthless when the situation calls for it.

Anyway, maybe 👍 saved you from a total meltdown of pure rage, but I figured I should probably say something anyway :2up:

Good grief...😕
And here I was, thinking everything would turn out fine...🤷

Angela Morgan3 said:I mean, I'll give them the green light to love me if they want to 🙂 but they just won't 🙂

🤣🤣🤣

Sorry, girl, I have to jump in too. You just totally made my morning 🙏 👍

I actually just died laughing right here 😍

I mean, maybe I just phrased things the wrong way 🙂but it won't 🙂
honestly, I guess I just don't really get how people function—like, how to actually socialize or whatever—that’s kind of where I'm struggling 🙂

Angela Morgan3 said:I mean, I'll give them the green light to love me if they want to 🙂 but they just won't 🙂

You want people to love you—really, truly want it—so you basically give them carte blanche. And people take advantage of that. You know exactly what they’re doing to you
.
- If you want people to be respectful, you have to respect yourself first. Say you made plans with a friend, she doesn't show up, and you just sit there suffering and waiting for thirty minutes? That teaches them they can do whatever they want while you'll always be waiting.

- People love you when you love yourself. They treat you well if you treat yourself well. To me, that means if someone is ten minutes late without even a heads-up, you turn around and leave. While you're wasting time on people who can't offer you basic affection, you're missing out on much better people who actually could.

I try to be as reasonable as the situation calls for. Sometimes I overdo it and come off way too harsh, and other times I’m just foolish enough to let people walk all over me without saying a word...🤷

Angela Morgan3 said:I mean, I'll give them the green light to love me if they want to 🙂 but they just won't 🙂

The thing is, I love you 🙂

hollowmason64 said:The thing is, I love you 🙂

thanks guys, and I love you too 😍