I'm completely burnt out

Hey everyone,
I’m just completely drained. Spent the whole night crying without even knowing why... These last two years have absolutely gutted me. For months now, I’ve been dealing with constant migraines, stomach issues, and this sharp pain in my left chest. I have zero motivation. My palms are constantly sweating—I actually have a tissue on my desk right now because I can't stop wiping them.
My mom is seriously ill, my dad lost his job, and my brother is caught up in some legal trouble that has me terrified for him. At work, we're going through a massive reorganization; ten of my closest colleagues were already laid off, and I feel like I'm next in line. On top of that, I recently watched someone I love die from lung cancer. Then my dog of 14 years passed away. Even with my husband, it feels like we're just roommates. We don't talk about anything because he's so closed off, and intimacy is basically non-existent... just a formality once a month.
Lately, I catch myself thinking about how much easier it would be if I just wasn't here. I just don't have any strength left...

Mental health is a heavy thing. It’s like a bucket—you just keep pouring stuff into it until it finally overflows. I’d honestly suggest looking for some professional help. Start treatment sooner rather than later. I dealt with clinical depression myself, managed to get through it four years ago, and I've been doing just fine since. It’s no wonder you’re feeling this way after everything negative that’s hit you lately. At least you realize things can't keep going like this. Try finding a local psychiatrist near you. I'm sure you'll start feeling better soon.😉

From what you're describing, this looks like clinical depression. Go see a doctor. Medication might give you the baseline stability needed to actually find the strength to tackle your problems.

Prolonged stress can trigger depression, which—judging by your situation—seems to be exactly what's happening here.

driftingtiger2 said:Hey everyone,
I’m just completely drained. Spent the whole night crying without even knowing why... These last two years have absolutely gutted me. For months now, I’ve been dealing with constant migraines, stomach issues, and this sharp pain in my left chest. I have zero motivation. My palms are constantly sweating—I actually have a tissue on my desk right now because I can't stop wiping them.
My mom is seriously ill, my dad lost his job, and my brother is caught up in some legal trouble that has me terrified for him. At work, we're going through a massive reorganization; ten of my closest colleagues were already laid off, and I feel like I'm next in line. On top of that, I recently watched someone I love die from lung cancer. Then my dog of 14 years passed away. Even with my husband, it feels like we're just roommates. We don't talk about anything because he's so closed off, and intimacy is basically non-existent... just a formality once a month.
Lately, I catch myself thinking about how much easier it would be if I just wasn't here. I just don't have any strength left...

Look, you just need to realize there are plenty of people going through stuff like this, and there always will be. Basically, we all get what's coming to us because we don't stick up for others when things are going great for us, and then by the time it hits us, it's too late.

Just look at the kids in Africa and see how they live and still find ways to fight. Think about how many of them die every single day and in such horrible ways... meanwhile, you're upset about a dog passing and having a dry spell in the bedroom. People around us die from cancer every day and that's pretty much considered normal... if anyone gets laid off, I'd suggest they go to Africa to help people instead of just sitting around complaining...link

Look, analogdriver52, you clearly missed the point of what I wrote. If you’re just here to judge me, then there's really no reason for us to be talking on this thread.

You’ve already received a diagnosis, but if I were in your shoes, I would definitely rethink the "treatment" aspect. While talking things through with a neutral third party always seems like a solid move, I’m just not a huge fan of the medication route.
As redpilot37 mentioned, the mind is such a complex thing, but you also have to truly understand how your own psyche works if you want to overcome its various traps. I honestly believe you can achieve that on your own without relying on pills. Medication won't actually address the root cause of what you're going through; it'll mostly just dull the edges of your struggle.
I really feel like you need to make some drastic changes to your daily routine and start doing things that genuinely bring you joy.
Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do about the situation at your job, but you absolutely have control over your internal state.
What about your friends and your social life lately? Is that part of your world still functioning? Do you and your husband ever get out together—either just the two of you or with a group of people?
Getting some physical activity in would probably go a long way too. Try carving out time for sports or even just some heavy manual labor—whether that's remodeling an apartment or something else that burns off energy. When you push yourself physically, it creates a sort of completion that stops you from overthinking all your problems so intensely, and the exhaustion helps prevent you from spiraling later on.

Getting some fresh air helps out too😉

analogdriver52 said:Look, you just need to realize there are plenty of people going through stuff like this, and there always will be. Basically, we all get what's coming to us because we don't stick up for others when things are going great for us, and then by the time it hits us, it's too late.

Just look at the kids in Africa and see how they live and still find ways to fight. Think about how many of them die every single day and in such horrible ways... meanwhile, you're upset about a dog passing and having a dry spell in the bedroom. People around us die from cancer every day and that's pretty much considered normal... if anyone gets laid off, I'd suggest they go to Africa to help people instead of just sitting around complaining...link

Maybe learn some basic grammar before you start lecturing people on how to help kids in Africa. 😁

I mean, look, I have feelings too, but treating someone like that after they lost a loved one AND a pet? Man, I think I'd just want to crawl into a hole and die.

analogdriver52 said:Look, you just need to realize there are plenty of people going through stuff like this, and there always will be. Basically, we all get what's coming to us because we don't stick up for others when things are going great for us, and then by the time it hits us, it's too late.

Just look at the kids in Africa and see how they live and still find ways to fight. Think about how many of them die every single day and in such horrible ways... meanwhile, you're upset about a dog passing and having a dry spell in the bedroom. People around us die from cancer every day and that's pretty much considered normal... if anyone gets laid off, I'd suggest they go to Africa to help people instead of just sitting around complaining...link

I really hope you’ve actually done your part helping kids over in Africa by now. Honestly, I can only imagine how incredibly dull it must feel for you to sit there typing out things like this. Ivy is dealing with her own real struggles right now, and those have nothing to do with children in Africa. She lost a close friend, and that loss is devastating regardless of what is happening on the other side of the world. On top of that, she just lost her dog, a companion she had by her side for fourteen years—and that isn't some distant animal in Africa, it was her dog, not yours or mine.
Everyone tends to view their own struggles through a lens that makes them feel like the center of the universe, because at the end of the day, we all live our lives within our own heads. Making comments like that just shows a complete lack of empathy, both for the actual issue being discussed and for the people who are actually dealing with it.

Linda Taylor11 said:Maybe learn some basic grammar before you start lecturing people on how to help kids in Africa. 😁

I mean, look, I have feelings too, but treating someone like that after they lost a loved one AND a pet? Man, I think I'd just want to crawl into a hole and die.

Seriously,🙄 she came here looking for some actual helpful advice, not to be lectured by people acting like geniuses.☕

The issue is that nothing brings me any joy, and I'm just constantly living in fear. I'm scared my mom will pass away, terrified my dad might take his own life because he can't handle losing his job, and I have these nightmares about my brother getting killed in a hit-and-run. I worry about being fired and losing the house I still have 14 years left on the mortgage for. I wonder if my husband is actually happy with me. I rarely see friends anymore; I'm just completely drained from work, caring for my mother, and dealing with all the money stress...

driftingtiger2 said:Look, analogdriver52, you clearly missed the point of what I wrote. If you’re just here to judge me, then there's really no reason for us to be talking on this thread.

Hey, listen, I gotta say, it might feel like you're hitting a wall right now, but you're wrong if you think you won't pull through. Maybe I should suggest finding some "me time," you know? Just stuff that actually makes you happy. If I were in your shoes, I’d probably start by having a real talk with my husband or boyfriend to try and sort out whatever relationship drama is going on. I mean, at the end of the day, he's the one you're living with, and that's likely what's draining your battery so much.
I don't know if you've seen a doctor yet, but to me, this whole thing sounds like anxiety or depression. And yeah, it's not some rare, exotic thing—tons of Americans deal with this stuff every single day.
Also, just a thought, but maybe stop thinking you're some kind of "magnet" for bad luck. It's totally normal to need time to process everything that's been thrown at you. But, hey, if things get to the point where you don't see a reason to keep going, you seriously need to go see a psychiatrist.

Good luck with everything! 🙂

driftingtiger2 said:Look, analogdriver52, you clearly missed the point of what I wrote. If you’re just here to judge me, then there's really no reason for us to be talking on this thread.

I did read it, including the stuff about health issues, but look—you aren't the only one dealing with heavy stuff. I'm really sorry you're going through that. I'm not judging you personally; if anything, I'm judging all of us for just sitting on the sidelines while people around us are struggling.

My next-door neighbor lost her dad when she was only 16, and then lost her mom to breast cancer just a few years later. I know plenty of people who have basically hated life since the day they were born... but they still keep fighting. I think most people do it for their kids. Do you have any children?

You clearly need someone who’s just gonna tell you what you want to hear. Good luck.

driftingtiger2 said:The issue is that nothing brings me any joy, and I'm just constantly living in fear. I'm scared my mom will pass away, terrified my dad might take his own life because he can't handle losing his job, and I have these nightmares about my brother getting killed in a hit-and-run. I worry about being fired and losing the house I still have 14 years left on the mortgage for. I wonder if my husband is actually happy with me. I rarely see friends anymore; I'm just completely drained from work, caring for my mother, and dealing with all the money stress...

I'm really sorry😢 it’s tough right now. I feel for you. You're stuck in a situation where everything feels out of your control—illness, job instability, things you just can't fix. Maybe look into psychotherapy. There's both group and individual therapy, which could help you connect with people who actually get what you're going through. I know you're probably stretched thin for time, but if you checked with a local Healthy City clinic in your area... are you currently on any medication or not yet?

To might just be "a dog" to someone else, but he’s been sleeping by my bed for fourteen years. Fourteen years of life together.

I’ve known my friend who passed from cancer since the day I was born. During those last two months, I was there every single day—reading the news to him, playing cards when he felt up to it, talking about life and death... I stayed close because I knew he was slipping away. Losing him? It hit me hard.

driftingtiger2 said:The issue is that nothing brings me any joy, and I'm just constantly living in fear. I'm scared my mom will pass away, terrified my dad might take his own life because he can't handle losing his job, and I have these nightmares about my brother getting killed in a hit-and-run. I worry about being fired and losing the house I still have 14 years left on the mortgage for. I wonder if my husband is actually happy with me. I rarely see friends anymore; I'm just completely drained from work, caring for my mother, and dealing with all the money stress...

That's called anxiety. 😢

(everything you mentioned in this post). It would be great if you had the energy, the willpower, and the cash for psychotherapy.

Hey driftingtiger2, seriously, kudos to you for being there for your friend like that. My heart goes out to you, and I hope he's at peace now.
Honestly, with everything life has thrown at you lately, it’s no wonder you’ve just hit a breaking point from all the stress.
I totally get why you're feeling this way, even if what I've dealt with hasn't been quite as heavy.

driftingtiger2 said:To might just be "a dog" to someone else, but he’s been sleeping by my bed for fourteen years. Fourteen years of life together.

I’ve known my friend who passed from cancer since the day I was born. During those last two months, I was there every single day—reading the news to him, playing cards when he felt up to it, talking about life and death... I stayed close because I knew he was slipping away. Losing him? It hit me hard.

There wasn't anything you could do about it. Death always wins. But look at it this way: he was lucky to have you. Having a friend like that, someone who stayed until his very last minute—that's everything.🙂
I have cats, and losing one was brutal too. I cried for days. But I didn't have them nearly as long as you had your dog. After 14 years, it's only natural that you're feeling this way.😉

Thanks for the support. I know plenty of people have dealt with much worse than this, and I’m not some kind of magnet for bad luck—it’s just life happening.
The issue is that I can't control my own fears, and I've become the rock for everyone—my parents, my husband, my colleagues. At work, I'm responsible for other people's livelihoods, and this month's recession has hit us hard. Everyone expects me to have all the answers when I don't, and I'm terrified we're all going to end up on the street. I can't afford to break because so much depends on me, or so it feels, but I can feel myself fading. I'm starting to get numb. Yesterday, I found myself looking for a sturdy spot in my apartment to hang myself. I remembered someone I knew who used a window latch, and I actually wondered how they managed it... I really don't like these thoughts. 😢

Yeah... Is there anything at all that actually makes you happy? Or used to? Try to focus on that. Just lean into those thoughts. Go for a walk, even if it's just around the block. Put some music on. Music has power, seriously—just throw on a favorite CD... I know, I sound like a cliché from Cosmopolitan, but please, just try one of these things. Force yourself. I get it. I know when you're feeling this low, you think, "What's a stupid CD by some dumb band who doesn't know anything about actual pain because they're too busy living a beach life?" and you feel like it won't help... But try anyway. A brisk walk, a run, riding your bike—anything you loved back when things were okay. Just force it. I know. Your legs feel heavy, you're out of breath... It’s hard, but just try. A few times a day. Maybe you'll bump into someone, or see something that hits home... Maybe a stranger's smile or a small gesture will actually reach you...