I feel completely off and can't enjoy life: anxiety, dysthymia, and procrastination

emofree KJ;21783563 said:

silverowl8 said:Look, I appreciate the support, I really do, but it’s just not that simple. It doesn't work like that, unfortunately...

Yeah, that’s just one part of it, but honestly? It might be the most important thing on my mind right now. It’s a hell of a decision to make. I’ve already knocked out my freshman year at college, and I really don't want to be a burden to my family... but man, I don't even know anymore.

Yeah, you're spot on about the friends thing. I hadn't really sat down to think about it, but unfortunately, that's just how it is. Seriously, thanks so much for the support! 🙂 And props to you for making those fresh starts. I know firsthand that isn't easy at all!

Hang in there 🙂 , I'm glad people who feel the same way are reaching out

Have you ever seen a psychiatrist? I don't want to live like this for years on end, wasting my youth like this... I really hope things start looking up for you and you can move past it
🙂

@ everyone
thanks to everyone who chimed in, it really means a lot 🙂

Yeah, but the thing is, it’s one of those easy majors. Nobody even knows what it's about, and I basically copied everything except for three or four classes—and even those weren't that tough. 🙂 It isn't even really about the school, it's the town. I can't stand living in such a tiny little suburb anymore, and I can't deal with living under my parents' roof forever...

Look, I get it. I know my struggle isn't the hardest thing in the world. There are way bigger problems out there—millions of hungry kids, people without homes, people fighting terminal illnesses... but I still feel like crap and I want to change it. This has been dragging on for way too long, and I don't want to live like this for years to come. I know, I know, everyone has their own "hardest" problem, but anyone who feels the way I do knows exactly what I'm talking about.

silverowl8 said:Hey everyone. Honestly, I don't even know where to start. My head is just a total mess right now and I can't even put a finger on how I’m actually feeling... The biggest thing, maybe, is this crushing sense that life is just passing me by while I sit here on the sidelines... like time is sprinting ahead and I can't catch the damn rhythm... if that makes any sense. I feel like I'm constantly wasting time and I just can't get myself moving. Most days I'm just bored out of my mind, which isn't who I am—deep down, I'm an adventurer, an active guy, and I absolutely hate sitting around doing nothing productive. But there it is. It's like I have this internal brake pulled tight... like I'm actively sabotaging myself... Truth is, I don't even know what I like anymore... I can barely find joy in anything.

It feels like I've been dealing with anxiety and dysthymia for about four years now, and it's gotten way worse over the last year. Lately, indecision is killing me. I struggle to make even the smallest choices, and when I finally do, they're usually the wrong ones, which just eats at me. A little context: it's hard for me to talk about this because there are things I'm even afraid to admit to myself... like how ever since I started high school, most of my days have just been spent spinning my wheels. I regret that so much. I wish I could turn back the clock, but I know I can't, so I just sit here suffering for no reason. I used to play sports before high school, and back then, I was actually pretty happy and fulfilled. Even though I had some anxiety back then, too.

I'm constantly on edge. I always have this knot of nerves in my stomach and my brain won't stop racing... it's exhausting, it just drains everything out of me. The worst part is that all this overthinking leads nowhere. It's like the more I obsess over something, the less I actually understand it. For example, I agonized for ages over which college to go to... I thought about it all day long, yet nothing felt clear. In the end, I made a massive mistake and enrolled in a local community college right here in my small hometown, and God knows how much I regret it. I really wanted to go to a big university in a major city like Chicago or NYC, somewhere I could have some privacy and independence, but I realized that too late. For the past few months—especially these last few days—I've been stuck in a loop thinking about how much of a fatal error that was. I know people have much bigger problems than me, but trust me, right now, this feels catastrophic. Don't think I'm being some spoiled brat; it's not like my life has been pure misery, but it definitely hasn't been sunshine and rainbows either.

Also, lately, almost everyone gets on my nerves. And obviously, it's not them—it's me. I know I'm the one at fault and I want to change, but I have no clue how. Like my friends... almost everything they say bugs me. Every single sentence seems to grate on me. Sometimes I feel this heavy tension when we hang out, but I feel like I have to go, I can't just sit at home, and finding actual good friends is hard enough as it is.

Believe me, opening up like this is incredibly difficult for me. I don't open up easily, and it's even harder to be honest with myself. Feel free to ask anything if you're curious. Lately, I've just been so confused. Nothing makes sense. I don't know what I should do or shouldn't do, and making decisions is a nightmare.

Tomorrow, if my head clears up even a little bit 🙂 , I might try to write a shorter post with just the essentials... I just can't do it right now. Do I need a psychiatrist? I honestly think so, because it feels like I can't help myself. I want to change, but I can't. It's like I'm intentionally holding myself back and choking my own progress 😕

Sorry for the wall of text, but there's just so much swirling around in my head and it's all a mess... absolute chaos. I hope someone finds it worth reading and tries to understand where I'm coming from... it won't be easy because even I don't quite know how I feel.
Anyway, it's not like I'm in a deep, dark depression or anything—it's not like everything is pitch black—but it's certainly not white either. Everything just feels gray right now. I can never seem to enjoy anything, and I rarely have those days where I can say, "Man, today was awesome, I want to do that again." It would be nice if that happened even once a month, but nope...
Look, I mean, I *could* survive like this, but why would I? I don't want to just scrape by—I want to actually live life to the fullest, you know? Taste everything, feel everything... but honestly, I’m stuck. I have no clue how to even start. I need some real advice, some actual support, maybe a kick in the pants to get motivated... Anyway, I'm 19.

silverowl8;21827963 said:

Tyler Baker6 said:da, but the thing is, it's one of the easiest degrees there is. nobody knows about it, and I basically just copied everything except for three or four subjects, which aren't even that hard. It isn't really about the major, it's the town. I can't stand staying in such a small town and living with my family anymore...

there isn't really such a thing as an easy degree😉 take some pride, I guess😍

I feel pretty terrible and I want to change things... it's been going on for too long, and I don't want to live like this for years. I know everyone has their own struggles, but people who feel like me know exactly what I mean.

yeah, but you need courage to make changes (not using the simple word)😍 and the strength to deal with the consequences of your choices, good or bad😉
Why did you even enroll in a college in a city you hate if you actually had the money to leave? 🤷
Talk to your family and tell them how you feel. You don't have to live like this forever; you've only got two years until freshman year starts, then you could transfer. 🤷
Well, you've got finals coming up now, so dropping out before you finish anything probably isn't the best move. 🙂

Michael Cruz3 said:There are many of us who feel this way. For me, this struggle has persisted for four years now—my entire high school career. Now, as I prepare to enroll in college, I find myself redefining who I am all over again. I cannot even count how many times over these last four years I have had to start from scratch. I feel as though I am finally nearing a breakthrough. While I used to only tweak small details, I have decided to overhaul everything. I distanced myself from social circles that were suffocating me, and I began to speak openly about my emotions. I have always been the type of person to bottle everything up, staying silent until I eventually explode or completely withdraw into myself. Not long ago, I ended up in a physical altercation with my sister for no apparent reason. It was simply a sudden release of everything I had been accumulating inside me for years. I had been harboring so much anger, bitterness, and discontent. She provoked me, and we fought. It wasn't an ideal way to handle things, but it allowed me to let go of all those years of tension. Now, I am left trying to cultivate the good things—the positive emotions and the sense of love that never felt natural to me before. My grandmother nearly had a heart attack when I told her I loved her. I had never told anyone I loved them, but now I am telling my family. It took me far too long to get here.
I never sought professional therapy; instead, I relied on medication, taking more than I should have without a doctor's supervision, which meant they never truly helped me the way they were intended.

Just start over. When you fall, pick yourself up and try again; change everything that prevents you from finding peace, and always strive to be happy yourself, because when you find your own happiness, those around you will feel it too.
🙂

you can't change everything in life, unfortunately😳 maybe you can change some things, but not all of them. 😉

Michael Cruz3 said:There are many of us who feel this way. For me, this struggle has persisted for four years now—my entire high school career. Now, as I prepare to enroll in college, I find myself redefining who I am all over again. I cannot even count how many times over these last four years I have had to start from scratch. I feel as though I am finally nearing a breakthrough. While I used to only tweak small details, I have decided to overhaul everything. I distanced myself from social circles that were suffocating me, and I began to speak openly about my emotions. I have always been the type of person to bottle everything up, staying silent until I eventually explode or completely withdraw into myself. Not long ago, I ended up in a physical altercation with my sister for no apparent reason. It was simply a sudden release of everything I had been accumulating inside me for years. I had been harboring so much anger, bitterness, and discontent. She provoked me, and we fought. It wasn't an ideal way to handle things, but it allowed me to let go of all those years of tension. Now, I am left trying to cultivate the good things—the positive emotions and the sense of love that never felt natural to me before. My grandmother nearly had a heart attack when I told her I loved her. I had never told anyone I loved them, but now I am telling my family. It took me far too long to get here.
I never sought professional therapy; instead, I relied on medication, taking more than I should have without a doctor's supervision, which meant they never truly helped me the way they were intended.

Just start over. When you fall, pick yourself up and try again; change everything that prevents you from finding peace, and always strive to be happy yourself, because when you find your own happiness, those around you will feel it too.
🙂

Mantis Religiosa;21829481 said:

silverowl8 said:Yeah, but the thing is, it’s one of those easy majors. Nobody even knows what it's about, and I basically copied everything except for three or four classes—and even those weren't that tough. 🙂 It isn't even really about the school, it's the town. I can't stand living in such a tiny little suburb anymore, and I can't deal with living under my parents' roof forever...

Look, I get it. I know my struggle isn't the hardest thing in the world. There are way bigger problems out there—millions of hungry kids, people without homes, people fighting terminal illnesses... but I still feel like crap and I want to change it. This has been dragging on for way too long, and I don't want to live like this for years to come. I know, I know, everyone has their own "hardest" problem, but anyone who feels the way I do knows exactly what I'm talking about.

crimsonheron80 said:You need to make changes immediately. If you don't, this lifestyle will drag you under—right toward the edge I found myself on. Change what’s within your control, and accept what isn't. It's that simple.

Nicole Chase72 said:I honestly think people don't really live life to the fullest because they’re obsessed with having total control over every single little thing. They aren't spontaneous. It’s like they're constantly paralyzed by "what if" scenarios—probably just a massive lack of self-confidence and a general inability to trust their own gut. Most psychological messes probably stem from that foundation of insecurity anyway.

To actually live wide awake, you need some guts. You just have to know when to shut off the analytical brain, dive headfirst into a situation, and then—only then—switch the logic back on while you're busy untangling yourself from the mess you made. That’s what living feels like. You handle your day-to-day stuff, deal with the fallout, stumble into new things, and somehow, because your brain is so preoccupied with managing the chaos, you stop taking everything quite so seriously. I’m not saying you start being shallow or lazy, just that you stop being terrified of whatever comes next.
Whatever you decide or do, it’ll turn out fine—just make the best of the hand you're dealt.
You don't truly feel alive until you take a risk. I get it, though. It’s hard. We all default to the safe bet. And look, analyzing things like which Ford to buy or what clothes to pick is fine, but when it comes to choosing a career or a partner? You’ve got to lean on your intuition.

Am I making any sense at all? I’d love to hear what you guys think about this...

by a wannabe psych student 🙂

I don't even know where to start with this one. It’s like everyone just collectively decided to lose their minds at the exact same time. I’ve been sitting here staring at the screen, trying to make sense of the absolute chaos unfolding, and honestly? It’s exhausting. The sheer level of delusion is staggering. You see these people posting as if they’ve actually achieved something, as if they aren't just spinning their wheels in the mud, and you have to wonder—is anyone actually listening to reason anymore? Or are we all just trapped in this endless loop of nonsense? It’s messy, it’s loud, and frankly, it’s embarrassing. I’m over it. I really am. Just more noise in an already deafening room. kaže:
Look, here’s the deal: get some sleep, roll out of bed, hit up a buddy, and just go wherever the hell you feel like. Just pick a spot and move. Try being spontaneous for once—stop overthinking everything and quit analyzing every single little move. Just do it. 😳

Ask yourself: "What am I actually getting out of all this constant overthinking? What’s the point of sitting here drowning in regret while my life just passes me by right in front of my eyes?"
Man, get a grip! Just let that inner drive take over, you know? Find that spark. You’re in your prime right now, so why the hell are you sitting around moping about the past?

Look, you gotta tell yourself—you seriously need to chill out! Seriously. Get your crew together, head out somewhere, and just enjoy yourselves. Good luck! 👍

I don't even know where to start with this one. Just total nonsense. Honestly, some people really think they can just drop a random phrase and call it a contribution? Give me a break. It’s like watching someone walk into a crowded room, say nothing, and expect a standing ovation. Absolute zero substance here. Zero. kaže:
silverowl8, look, quit stressing out so much... you’re only 19. You’re basically standing at a massive crossroads right now, just trying to figure out who you even are. That’s totally normal for someone your age. Honestly, speaking from experience, I felt the exact same way back then... I couldn't see an inch in front of me and it terrified me. I just didn't have the guts to jump into the unknown. That anxiety didn't just go away, either. I actually ended up enrolling in the wrong major just because I wanted to run away from my old problems and certain people... and for a little while, I thought I was doing fine. Then, three years in, it hit me like a ton of bricks: I didn't care about what I was studying at all. I hated it. I felt this massive internal resistance, plus this crushing sense of shame because I felt like I'd wasted years of my life. I completely ran out of steam and just spiraled into a deep depression. Then, out of nowhere, it clicked. I realized I needed to head back toward the career path I'd originally abandoned because of some childhood stuff. So, I started over with a new degree. It made sense—I had the talent for it, it felt like a gift, and deep down, I knew it was the right move. My parents were totally against it, but I didn't listen. I'll admit, being on the right path isn't easy—there are plenty of hurdles—but at least I actually had the energy to keep pushing forward (which definitely wasn't happening during that first degree). Now? I'm genuinely happy with where I am. I can actually make a living doing this. So, if you feel constantly agitated or like nothing brings you joy... maybe you're just on the wrong path. Sometimes we listen to everyone around us without even realizing we're doing it. If you have this burning desire to get away from your family, just do it. You can always come back later—it's not like the world is ending, right? I lost those few years, and back then, it felt catastrophic. But looking back now? I don't even notice them. Plenty of people have messed up way worse than I did. At the end of the day, you can fix any mistake. You just have to keep telling yourself that things will work out and, despite the struggle, keep fighting to pull yourself out of that depression. Go read "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. It might actually help you out. You can find it online easily.

kokolo:-) I can't even begin to process this... what is this person even on about? It’s like they’re speaking a completely different language, or maybe they just haven't had their coffee yet. Seriously, how does anyone take this kind of nonsense seriously? It's absolute chaos.
I’m spiraling a bit over this whole college situation. I’ve got my enrollment lined up for next year, and honestly, my biggest dream has always been to get the hell out of my hometown. But now? Now I’m freaking out. What if I move to some big city like Chicago or Austin and just absolutely hate it? What if I’m only picking this specific major just because it feels like an escape hatch from my current life? I’m seriously losing sleep over this. It’s a mess, because at the same time, I can't even imagine doing anything else for a career. I'm stuck between wanting a fresh start and being terrified that I'm just running away.