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Home › Society › Psychology › How do you tell someone you're struggling with depression?

How do you tell someone you're struggling with depression?

Started by Elizabeth Nguyen10 · · 👁 5 views · 34 replies

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Participants Elizabeth Nguyen10Nancy Gomez4Donna Wood52electricmaker533Nicole Barrett76Gregory Young3darktiger27bluefalcon122Brandon Brooks11James Ramirez10Roger EvansCharles Ross3Keith Jones76crimsonheron80briskowl202Mark Nguyen6
Roger Evans Roger Evans Member
22 messages
joined May 2008
#21 ·
Elizabeth Nguyen10 said:Man, whenever I finally work up the nerve to actually say something, my brain just totally short-circuits—I feel like I’m just babbling nonsense, like it's all my own damn fault... I CAN'T EVEN EXPLAIN IT... and I'm not even expecting you to get it...

Look, I actually get this way more than you think.

So just stop the self-pity loop and start taking control!

I know it's tough as hell—and if telling your parents feels impossible right now, just skip that part for a bit.

Just make an appointment with your primary care doctor and be real with them.
Honestly, just getting yourself through the door and sitting in that exam room is already a massive win.

Once you actually start tackling the issue, you'll eventually feel ready to bring your parents into the loop.

You aren't rambling, you aren't stupid, and you aren't crazy. You've just got a problem that needs fixing.
There's zero shame in being sick.

Just stay brave!
We all have way more grit in us than we realize...
Roger Evans Roger Evans Member
22 messages
joined May 2008
#22 ·
Elizabeth Nguyen10 said:I'd just call it traditional, I guess—nobody talks about this kind of stuff, just work, school, the usual grind... they can tell something's off with me, but they probably just tell themselves I'm fine to make it easier... honestly, I'm just sick of all this...
And about that support thing—like I said, having them in my corner would be way better than heading to some doctor where everyone says they treat you like garbage...

That's just not true, man—don't generalize like that.
You gotta give it a shot; you aren't losing anything but a few hours of your life.
Charles Ross3 Charles Ross3 Active Member
84 messages
joined Jun 2024
#23 ·
Elizabeth Nguyen10 said:I'd just call it traditional, I guess—nobody talks about this kind of stuff, just work, school, the usual grind... they can tell something's off with me, but they probably just tell themselves I'm fine to make it easier... honestly, I'm just sick of all this...
And about that support thing—like I said, having them in my corner would be way better than heading to some doctor where everyone says they treat you like garbage...

Well, look, if they can sense that things aren't quite okay with you, they're probably genuinely worried...
you admitted yourself that having their support would make things easier... and honestly, it would, wouldn't it?

Please, do this for yourself; just take that one small initial step: talk to your parents, if you feel like opening up might provide even a tiny bit of relief...

In so many American families, the dynamic between parents and children stays exactly like this—very traditional, without much open communication... conversations usually revolve around the "logistics" of life, like grades, jobs, or chores... and that often happens because those parents were raised that very same way in their own homes... they simply don't know any other way, haven't been taught how to bridge that gap... but beneath all of that, underneath all that awkwardness, there are people who likely love you more than anyone else in the world. Your parents are people who would move mountains to help you. If you have even a shred of trust in them—and from what I can tell, you haven't said otherwise—just try to be vulnerable with them...

Just being honest, just having that conversation, will act as such a vital release valve at first, and you'll find things feel a little lighter. Everything starts with that very first step... but you have to be the one to take it... and once you do, you'll figure out the rest... you'll finally be moving forward.
electricmaker533 electricmaker533 Newcomer
3 messages
joined Jun 2009
#24 ·
Roger Evans said:Look, I actually get this way more than you think.

So just stop the self-pity loop and start taking control!

I know it's tough as hell—and if telling your parents feels impossible right now, just skip that part for a bit.

Just make an appointment with your primary care doctor and be real with them.
Honestly, just getting yourself through the door and sitting in that exam room is already a massive win.

Once you actually start tackling the issue, you'll eventually feel ready to bring your parents into the loop.

You aren't rambling, you aren't stupid, and you aren't crazy. You've just got a problem that needs fixing.
There's zero shame in being sick.

Just stay brave!
We all have way more grit in us than we realize...

I completely agree with everything said above.
electricmaker533 electricmaker533 Newcomer
3 messages
joined Jun 2009
#25 ·
bluefalcon122 said:Exactly! You aren't a doctor or a psychiatrist, so please don't give medical advice on things you aren't an expert in. Stick to other topics where you can actually offer helpful insights!

I was just speaking from my own experience...
Elizabeth Nguyen10 Elizabeth Nguyen10 MemberOP
10 messages
joined Jun 2009
#26 ·
Roger Evans said:Look, I actually get this way more than you think.

So just stop the self-pity loop and start taking control!

I know it's tough as hell—and if telling your parents feels impossible right now, just skip that part for a bit.

Just make an appointment with your primary care doctor and be real with them.
Honestly, just getting yourself through the door and sitting in that exam room is already a massive win.

Once you actually start tackling the issue, you'll eventually feel ready to bring your parents into the loop.

You aren't rambling, you aren't stupid, and you aren't crazy. You've just got a problem that needs fixing.
There's zero shame in being sick.

Just stay brave!
We all have way more grit in us than we realize...

Think I’m feeling a tiny bit better today, maybe because this depression flu is finally letting up... still exhausted but at least things feel slightly lighter... hopefully it sticks until Monday so I can actually find the strength to swing by the clinic...
Keith Jones76 Keith Jones76 Active Member
174 messages
joined Mar 2009
#27 ·
It’s pretty standard for someone dealing with depression to spiral even deeper once they actually realize what’s happening. You get caught in this loop of fearing the stigma, worrying you'll be taken less seriously if you speak up, or just being terrified of how people will judge you—not to mention the weight of being responsible for calling it out. For you, that feels like 'normal.'
That said, professionals are trained specifically to navigate these nuances. They deal with this stuff every day, so they aren't supposed to be tripping over the same hurdles.
Honestly, your best bet is to just reach out to your primary care physician. Tons of people walk into their offices with these exact same symptoms, so in reality, there’s really nothing to lose sleep over. To a doctor, these symptoms are just another clinical matter, much like a nagging backache or a sore throat. They look at it objectively. Don't sweat it too much.
darktiger27 darktiger27 Newcomer
6 messages
joined Jun 2009
#28 ·
To felt totally normal to me—just going out and asking for a referral to a psychiatrist. I’m being wide open about where I’ve been, so who cares about the stigma? But you? You go ahead and tell me exactly what they prescribed you. I want to know what to look for when it hits me again. Because trust me, it will.
crimsonheron80 crimsonheron80 Active Member
103 messages
joined Apr 2009
#29 ·
Elizabeth Nguyen10 said:I'm 22 and I've been stuck in this depression hole for four years now—I can tell you firsthand, I know what hell looks like... Honestly, I don't think things could get any worse than what this has done to me. Beyond just being unable to feel joy, I can't even remember what being happy actually feels like. It’s just constant, insane thoughts and these fake beliefs that haunt me for months—stuff a normal person wouldn't even dream of... I'm just done. I've isolated myself from everyone and the worst part is knowing people talk about it when they haven't got a clue how it actually feels... I really need to know how to find the guts to tell my parents I need help. Every single time I scrape together whatever strength I have left, this depression just convinces me I'm talking nonsense—that I don't need help and it's all just in my head... it's a vicious cycle. I tried those over-the-counter supplements once, and after a week, I actually felt slightly better, but then things went south—I was shaking all day, nothing crazy, just a constant tremor like I was in some kind of delirium... so I stopped taking them and everything just spiraled even harder. Please, I need advice because I'm seriously lost... This depression is basically running my life at this point—I can't even make decisions for myself anymore, it's like it's taken total control of everything...

I hear you. But honestly? At 22, telling your parents about your depression is pointless. They aren't going to fix this for you. If they could, they would have noticed by now. It sounds like they just don't get it. Speaking from experience: unless you physically cannot get to a clinic on your own, just go. Get an appointment with a psychiatrist or a therapist and handle it yourself. I know navigating this alone is brutal. I've been there. Even the specialists haven't done much for me, but maybe they'll provide enough clarity for you to figure out your next move. Relying on parents is the worst strategy—especially when they’re blind to what their own kid is going through.
briskowl202 briskowl202 Newcomer
7 messages
joined Jun 2009
#30 ·
I'm a bit younger than most of you guys, and I've been feeling pretty depressed lately. I tried bringing it up to my parents, but they just told me I'm overreacting

Maybe they're right, I guess
Elizabeth Nguyen10 Elizabeth Nguyen10 MemberOP
10 messages
joined Jun 2009
#31 ·
So, am I forced to talk to some shrink about my depression and what caused it right now, or can I wait until I’m actually ready? Because let’s be real—I'm definitely not there yet...
Mark Nguyen6 Mark Nguyen6 Active Member
119 messages
joined Mar 2012
#32 ·
Elizabeth Nguyen10 said:So, am I forced to talk to some shrink about my depression and what caused it right now, or can I wait until I’m actually ready? Because let’s be real—I'm definitely not there yet...

Honestly, you might be doing yourself a disservice here.

Talking endlessly about the issue often just gives you this false sense of progress—as if you're actually working on it—when, in reality, nothing is being done (which, by definition, isn't helping).

Maybe try to stop overthinking and mentally juggling the problem for a bit; instead, just get up tomorrow morning and head over to your primary care physician.

Once you're back, let us know how it went.
darktiger27 darktiger27 Newcomer
6 messages
joined Jun 2009
#33 ·
Elizabeth Nguyen10 said:So, am I forced to talk to some shrink about my depression and what caused it right now, or can I wait until I’m actually ready? Because let’s be real—I'm definitely not there yet...

You aren't ready!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, you've been stuck in this rut for four years. Just bite the bullet and go.🙂div>
Elizabeth Nguyen10 Elizabeth Nguyen10 MemberOP
10 messages
joined Jun 2009
#34 ·
darktiger27 said:You aren't ready!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, you've been stuck in this rut for four years. Just bite the bullet and go.🙂div>

The longer you sit there overthinking it, the harder it gets to actually move—take my advice for once—just bail... I'm already halfway out the door...☕
Keith Jones76 Keith Jones76 Active Member
174 messages
joined Mar 2009
#35 ·
I think the doctors will just end up working around your schedule. Nobody’s going to force your hand on anything.

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