The psychology of a predator: Understanding the mindset toward victims

Sliding a hot rod into a dry hole, brrr... that’s gotta hurt. On both sides...

Sayings that rape has nothing to do with sex are just plain stupid.

If it wasn't about sex, a rapist wouldn't bother with that at all—they’d just vent their rage or satisfy some sick need for dominance by beating someone up or humiliating them in some other way.

But when they actually go through with the sexual assault, it proves that, on top of whatever hatred they have for the victim (whether it's directed at her specifically or just all women in general), there's some level of sexual attraction involved for the perpetrator.

I mean, I guess there is that one specific category of predators who are actually obsessed with their victims, where even though they know deep down what they're doing is wrong, they've convinced themselves it's somehow justified. But man, that's a whole different conversation.

Rape can be viewed as a form of retribution... and perhaps a somewhat superior one compared to those instances where you permanently maim someone—because in those types of vendettas, even if the individual undergoes a genuine transformation for the better, you haven't deprived them of the "tools" (say, by severing an arm) required to actually "be good" later on. Since we all tacitly acknowledge that even a wicked person might change for the better, rape is somehow a less egregious method of vengeance. A woman who was "raped because she deserved it" retains the capacity to evolve and improve, keeping all her physical faculties intact—unlike a "revenge" where one physically mutilates another. Therefore, a rapist could theoretically take into account the possibility that the person (whom they believe deserves such treatment for their transgressions) might eventually reform, unlike the butcher-style vigilante.

The argument regarding how rape leads to inevitable psychological trauma is, I suppose, Smiley.
It is Smiley—primarily because that inevitability hasn't been scientifically established, and frankly, there isn't even definitive proof that certain "situations" will trigger trauma in everyone (whether they were previously stable or not). Of course, there have been attempts to compile "trauma lists" intended to dictate what specific events will do to anyone, whether they were formerly normal or mentally ill, following some abnormal or even more abnormal occurrence. Those are absurd pursuits; I won't even dignify them with further discussion.

In principle—if I were in charge of the American legal system—the penalty for rape would be lighter than the penalty for cutting off someone's finger, and I have already outlined my reasoning for that.

Why am I personally against rape, and why wouldn't I commit such an act?

I am not among those who merely seek sex; rather, I am among those who seek women. There is a profound distinction there. I have no intention of deceiving a woman I find attractive just to lure her into bed through falsehoods, because in sex, I don't derive pleasure from "her body," but rather from "her" as a person. Similarly, I want her to find pleasure in "me," not in some "false persona I project to seduce her" or, heaven forbid, in "my physique." I suspect that anyone who relies on presenting a false image or deceptive representations for the purpose of seduction is, in essence, a rapist—just one who lacks the courage to follow through. So, those are the rapists—simply less brave ones. The same applies to women...

A context in which (perhaps) I understand rape!

I can see how such an act might be perceived as having a certain logic, and I suspect there are rapists who act precisely out of this logic, which goes like this: "That woman is wicked. Perhaps she will change for the better someday. If she succeeds, she will then be able to remember that I took her. Naturally, at that point, she will realize she has no right to blame me, because she earned something she didn't want. If she becomes a good person, she will only be able to view the memory of my assault with erotic relish—much like any long-term memory of sex—and she will admire my thirst for vengeance, because once she is reformed, she too will loathe evil!"
However, I must reiterate—to me, this is nonsensical, as I do not recognize sex where the goal is merely the body as "true sex." Sex is only "true sex" when the body serves merely as the medium!

Look, let's be real here—there’s a massive, undeniable distinction between sexual violence committed during wartime and what happens in peacetime.

Roger Wilson7 said:Look, let's be real here—there’s a massive, undeniable distinction between sexual violence committed during wartime and what happens in peacetime.

I don't buy that for a second. There isn't a damn bit of difference. I mean, if you want to get technical, maybe the guy doing the raping during a war just happens to be better armed, but that's about it.

wearyseal4 said:I don't buy that for a second. There isn't a damn bit of difference. I mean, if you want to get technical, maybe the guy doing the raping during a war just happens to be better armed, but that's about it.

With what? A damn pink flamingo?

Roger Wilson7 said:With what? A damn pink flamingo?

I was talking about an AK-47🙄

wearyseal4 said:I was talking about an AK-47🙄

Look, I was talking about the actual act of assault itself. Now you’re just piling on extra graphic details for no reason.

Why would you even care about that? If you could actually peer into someone's mind and know exactly what they're thinking at any given moment, it would be absolutely horrifying..
It’s like wanting to know every twisted thought running through some lowlife's head.. disgusting..

Ugh, honestly, we’ve already chewed that one up and spit it out a thousand times. Can someone else please bring something new to the table?

I can't even begin to explain how much this whole situation just... ugh. It’s like, you think you know how things work in this country, right? You assume there's some kind of logic or at least a predictable pattern to the chaos... but then this happens. Just total nonsense. Honestly, I'm sitting here staring at my screen wondering if everyone else is seeing this too or if I've finally just lost it... probably the latter. Everything feels so disorganized lately, like we're all just winging it while pretending to have a plan. It’s exhausting, really... just totally draining... kaže:

I mean, I get where that logic is coming from... it almost makes sense in a twisted way. And honestly? I think there are definitely predators out there who do it for that exact reason... meaningless...Yeah, and he’s just like... this...That woman is just straight-up evil...Maybe things will turn around one day... if she actually manages to pull it off, she’ll still be able to remember that I was the one who took her... but honestly, by then she'll finally get it... she'll realize she has zero right to blame me for any of it, because... And I guess I just got exactly what I didn't want... typical...If things actually start looking up... maybe... Thinking back to when I was assaulted... he’s only gonna get any pleasure out of those memories if he's delusional... It’s like every single time I look back on some old hookup... you know, that hazy memory where they can't help but admire how much of a tease I am... because once she actually gets better at this game, she's gonna end up hating all the bad players too...
Look, I’m telling you again—it’s just pointless. I don't even recognize it as sex if the whole goal is just using someone's body like some kind of tool... it's just not "real" sex to me... Real sex only happens when you stop overthinking it and just let the body take the wheel... everything else is just a performance...

Nobody deserves revenge, let alone something as messed up as sexual assault...
I mean, seriously, who is this rapist to be sitting there judging some woman? A fair judge? Yeah, right... I wouldn't exactly call him that since he’s just as trash as she is. And honestly, if someone is even worse than you, they shouldn't even be allowed in the room to pass judgment...

does anyone actually deserve something they don't even want... i mean... think about it. like if you spend your whole life grinding for that promotion at Goldman Sachs or some big corporate ladder climb just because everyone says you should... but deep down you hate the idea... do you "deserve" it? or are you just chasing a ghost... honestly probably just chasing a headache... idk... maybe we only want the things we think we're supposed to want... anyway... just a thought...
Man... some people really do deserve to get what’s coming to them, but they just can't handle the consequences when they finally show up... so I guess that means some people actually deserve exactly what they're trying so hard to avoid...
Nah, rape isn't a punishment... that's just straight up wrong.
Look, let's be real for a second... sexual assault doesn't exactly turn someone into a better person. It’s not some kind of "tough love" or a way to build character... it just breaks people. There's no way around that...
Rape just... it creates a victim. Period.

Can someone actually get an erotic kick out of remembering a rape... ?
I mean, I’m just saying... I have my doubts...
if some rapist actually thinks that’s how things work... honestly, let him go out and get himself assaulted too... then maybe one day he can sit around and enjoy those same twisted memories...