Why are people so obsessed with being someone they're not?

It’s entirely possible she isn't fabricating the whole thing; perhaps she simply spent years cultivating this persona of being the reliable, sweet, and perfectly composed girl, only to finally grow weary of the exhausting effort it takes to keep those hidden truths tucked away.

I’ve encountered quite a few people like this throughout my life—there were a handful back in elementary school, and more surfaced during my high school years.

I know firsthand how someone can actually convince themselves that their own delusions are the absolute truth; I recognize that tendency in myself when I'm being foolish, but even then, "the truth hurts," so I might just tell myself, 'That’s how it happened, I'm certain of it, end of story,' and dismiss anyone else as being crazy for questioning my version of events.'

However, while those earlier instances were mostly minor, the individuals I’m referring to now have fully leaned into their roles, becoming completely enveloped in a web of manipulation, fabrication, and unintentional lies. There is simply no way to prove them wrong, nor do I have any desire to try; as someone once put it, attempting to do so would be like trying to pull a parachute out of an airplane mid-flight. It would mean shattering their entire self-image, and regardless of whether that image is nothing more than an illusion, I refuse to be the one to tear it down and cause them unnecessary pain. I choose to accept the situation as it is, viewing it much like a soap opera where I'm just waiting for the next dramatic installment—in a positive sense, of course🙂—because, frankly, I have no other option if I want to avoid hurting them.

People end up living lives that were essentially handed to them on a silver platter. From a very young age, kids are conditioned to believe that success is tied directly to their self-image—the idea that they need the flashiest mountain bike or the latest MacBook Pro just to feel worthy.
It all comes down to surface-level metrics: a fit physique, heavy makeup, piles of cash, or chasing fame through idols who don't actually represent anything meaningful (think Madonna, Eminem, or Rihanna). It is incredibly easy for people to lose themselves in that superficiality. The most tragic part is how this distorts their sense of self-awareness; it’s hardly surprising that we’re seeing such high rates of mental instability and emotional fragility in our society today.

There is a very straightforward answer to what you asked: They are desperately trying to become something they aren't because they have no clue who they truly are.😉

She’s just insecure. She lacks self-confidence and doesn't seem to value herself or her own life. I guess she feels better pretending to be someone else, which is why she makes things up.

Either accept her exactly as she is or just walk away. Honestly, I doubt she'll ever admit the truth to you; if you call her out on a lie, she'll probably just double down anyway..
If she has plenty of other good qualities, maybe just view this as a flaw and try to overlook it.

I honestly can't wrap my head around people who constantly lie or make things up about themselves... I mean, I don't even know if I should take someone's dishonesty personally... Like, okay, you're telling me things about yourself that just aren't true, hiding who you actually are... Is it because you lack self-confidence? I guess I struggle with my own insecurities too, but I certainly don't resort to lying or fabricating stories to cover them up. 🤷
What is even the point of lying?? I have to admit, as much as I try to be an understanding person regarding other people's little deceits, the mere thought of someone being fundamentally dishonest really turns my stomach... It’s just unpleasant dealing with people who lack any sense of integrity, shame, or basic sincerity—especially toward those they claim to call "friends"... But then again, who am I to judge? Your lies aren't my burden to carry; they're your own problem, and truth has a funny way of always surfacing eventually...

And now, to respond to the original poster—my dear, it is practically impossible to make a pathological liar "see the light" because they get so tangled up in their own web of deceit that they lose track of what is real and what is fiction... In my opinion, the best course of action is to simply walk away, because people like that have a knack for ruining more lives than you'd think... So, if you care even a little bit about your own well-being, just distance yourself from her!

I really needed to read this. Looking back at my life, I’ve always felt like the black sheep. While everyone else in middle school was hitting up bars, drinking, and smoking, I wasn't—I was just the "soft" one. They were all desperate to be someone they weren't. I remember my best friend; before he started hanging out with those girls, he wouldn't have even looked twice at a drink or a cigarette, but man, peer pressure in America is real, and now he's right there with them. Same thing with my classmates. I was always the one who didn't want to cause trouble; if everyone wanted to ditch class, I stayed. Again, the "lame" kid. But my parents raised me right. For a little while, I tried to act "cool" and pretend I liked drinking, but honestly? The more I get into parkour and learn who I actually am, the more I love my own skin. I'm 16, I don't smoke, I don't drink, my grades are solid, and I've found a crew that's just like me. At this age, they're just idiots. When I see people posting about how they can't wait for Saturday just to get wasted, I seriously wonder: what is that going to do for your future? My dad used to be an alcoholic, and seeing that firsthand made sure I'd never go down that path. Watching all this just makes me mentally stronger. My peers act like tough guys during the week and total losers on the weekends, and they don't even realize how ridiculous they look. They claim to be these big patriots, shouting "kill the Mexicans," but to me, that's just pure primitivism. My best friend is a Mexican, and his nationality doesn't matter to me at all. I have friends in Mexico too—I could name dozens of them 🙂—and they aren't responsible for the actions of some fools. There will always be people trying too hard to be "in" or "cool," but it leads nowhere. Your friend is just like most of the kids my age. I know I went off on a tangent here, but there it is 🙂