Narcissistic tendencies: Yes or No?

Ronald Rogers27 said:Did I mess up just because I was honest? I kept my tone humble and tried to be conciliatory, but now I'm wondering if that was a mistake. 🤷 Probably ( 😕 Would it have been better if I’d just played some shallow, little game? If I had stayed sweet, charming, and warm—keeping up appearances until we hit that point of virtual intimacy where all the masks finally slip? Because once they fall, you see the truth: a fundamental mismatch in how we feel and empathize, driven by totally different emotional weights. Have you even considered that this approach—this way of dealing with painful experiences—is exactly why I’ve been burned so often by women, both online and in my actual life? 😕

I won't even get into my own life story... Honestly, Donna Wood52 has already pointed out exactly how much of a mess I can be! 🤣

I figured she was never actually going to want to meet up in person. There are certain techniques you can use—sort of like a gut feeling or premonition—to read the room. But she definitely wanted to talk to me. Honestly, I was surprised by how much she truly wanted to get to know me through our chats.

Look, there are probably good reasons for it again, but let's not get sidetracked, ladies. 😉
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I wrote these two responses as a reply to everyone. Once again, thank you all for reaching out. Your advice is helping me make sense of what actually went down, especially since I realized I was judging personalities way too fast. 👍

Ronald Rogers27

Sure, you missed the mark there—but that doesn't mean your reasoning was off. Trust your gut if it’s serving you well; it can be a pretty solid asset in just about any area of life.

The only mistake you made was throwing that estimate right in her face—it’s like you were punishing her for being completely transparent. Personally, I wouldn't have held it against you, but she did. You can't really predict how people handle things like that. Then again, if there's zero chance of building a real connection, maybe cutting ties was the move. Hell, you never know...

I love people who judge someone’s entire existence based on a first impression—and then have the nerve to claim they "never get fooled." 🙄 Not that this was directed at you—but honestly? It’s probably more useful to just watch someone for a bit—maybe because that's my move—to actually spend some time with them and judge based on their actions and attitudes instead. You can always make your exit whenever you want.

Look, if you want to stop getting hurt and avoid those awkward encounters—fine, just stay blunt. But honestly? You’re probably going to miss out on some good stuff that way. Find a middle ground. It’s perfectly okay to have an opinion—it doesn't mean you have to immediately dump it on the other side if you aren't 100% sure yet.

Ronald Rogers27 said:Did I even ask her to open up about her fears? She just started talking out of nowhere. 🤷

She’s got some seriously inflated confidence. Honestly, I think she was born to be a frontman in her real life. I’d even bet money she deals with a bit of a superiority complex. Not that I see anything wrong with it—if anything, it’s actually pretty great. 👍

I’m not going to sit here and complain just because I misread the room. Honestly, I saw this coming from the start. I knew we weren't going to get very far with this situation... all because of her pure intentions. Prejudices. They're everywhere. They mess with how we see people before they even open their mouths. It’s a real problem that gets under my skin. Some things don't really fit this specific thread, but that’s not even my main point here. The whole focus of this discussion is whether my initial assessment in the opening post was right or wrong. 😁

Ronald Rogers27

People like that often harbor a great deal of sensitivity and insecurity deep down. 😉

I see no reason to complain about misjudging the current situation. I assessed the entire landscape correctly from the start, realizing we wouldn't be able to go far... solely because of her intentions. Prejudice remains a significant challenge within our society. It is essential that we work together to overcome these biases. Some points may fall outside the scope of this discussion, but that isn't the main issue here. The core focus remains my own assessment—whether right or wrong—as presented in my opening post. 😁

We simply don't have enough information to provide a high-quality answer. While most people here have already pointed out that things could look quite different, we have to admit we are still operating entirely within the realm of speculation. 😁

Ronald Rogers27 said:Did I mess up just because I was honest? I kept my tone humble and tried to be conciliatory, but now I'm wondering if that was a mistake. 🤷 Probably ( 😕 Would it have been better if I’d just played some shallow, little game? If I had stayed sweet, charming, and warm—keeping up appearances until we hit that point of virtual intimacy where all the masks finally slip? Because once they fall, you see the truth: a fundamental mismatch in how we feel and empathize, driven by totally different emotional weights. Have you even considered that this approach—this way of dealing with painful experiences—is exactly why I’ve been burned so often by women, both online and in my actual life? 😕

I won't even get into my own life story... Honestly, Donna Wood52 has already pointed out exactly how much of a mess I can be! 🤣

I figured she was never actually going to want to meet up in person. There are certain techniques you can use—sort of like a gut feeling or premonition—to read the room. But she definitely wanted to talk to me. Honestly, I was surprised by how much she truly wanted to get to know me through our chats.

Look, there are probably good reasons for it again, but let's not get sidetracked, ladies. 😉
_______

I wrote these two responses as a reply to everyone. Once again, thank you all for reaching out. Your advice is helping me make sense of what actually went down, especially since I realized I was judging personalities way too fast. 👍

Ronald Rogers27

It all depends on what your ultimate goal was. If you were trying to give both yourself and her a fair shot, a bit more tact might have helped. On the other hand, some people truly value that kind of raw honesty, and your words might actually make them pause and reflect. That said, most Americans generally aren't fond of being judged by a stranger.

I've come to the conclusion that she isn't truly interested in meeting up with me in person.

There are plenty of people online who seek out virtual friends or lovers while avoiding any real-world connection.

There are certain techniques used for what could be described as precognition. Regardless, her intention was clearly to have a conversation with me, and surprisingly, she wanted to get to know me quite well through this platform.

Who knows—it could just be a man playing a part because he's bored. 😁

mistybison said:People like that often harbor a great deal of sensitivity and insecurity deep down. 😉

I see no reason to complain about misjudging the current situation. I assessed the entire landscape correctly from the start, realizing we wouldn't be able to go far... solely because of her intentions. Prejudice remains a significant challenge within our society. It is essential that we work together to overcome these biases. Some points may fall outside the scope of this discussion, but that isn't the main issue here. The core focus remains my own assessment—whether right or wrong—as presented in my opening post. 😁

We simply don't have enough information to provide a high-quality answer. While most people here have already pointed out that things could look quite different, we have to admit we are still operating entirely within the realm of speculation. 😁

It all depends on what your ultimate goal was. If you were trying to give both yourself and her a fair shot, a bit more tact might have helped. On the other hand, some people truly value that kind of raw honesty, and your words might actually make them pause and reflect. That said, most Americans generally aren't fond of being judged by a stranger.

I've come to the conclusion that she isn't truly interested in meeting up with me in person.

There are plenty of people online who seek out virtual friends or lovers while avoiding any real-world connection.

There are certain techniques used for what could be described as precognition. Regardless, her intention was clearly to have a conversation with me, and surprisingly, she wanted to get to know me quite well through this platform.

Who knows—it could just be a man playing a part because he's bored. 😁

I agree. There’s a huge chance that behind her "leader" persona, she’s hiding someone who is extremely vulnerable and insecure. Isn't it common for highly intelligent people to be like that? Usually, high IQ comes paired with high EQ. 😉

mistybison said:People like that often harbor a great deal of sensitivity and insecurity deep down. 😉

I see no reason to complain about misjudging the current situation. I assessed the entire landscape correctly from the start, realizing we wouldn't be able to go far... solely because of her intentions. Prejudice remains a significant challenge within our society. It is essential that we work together to overcome these biases. Some points may fall outside the scope of this discussion, but that isn't the main issue here. The core focus remains my own assessment—whether right or wrong—as presented in my opening post. 😁

We simply don't have enough information to provide a high-quality answer. While most people here have already pointed out that things could look quite different, we have to admit we are still operating entirely within the realm of speculation. 😁

It all depends on what your ultimate goal was. If you were trying to give both yourself and her a fair shot, a bit more tact might have helped. On the other hand, some people truly value that kind of raw honesty, and your words might actually make them pause and reflect. That said, most Americans generally aren't fond of being judged by a stranger.

I've come to the conclusion that she isn't truly interested in meeting up with me in person.

There are plenty of people online who seek out virtual friends or lovers while avoiding any real-world connection.

There are certain techniques used for what could be described as precognition. Regardless, her intention was clearly to have a conversation with me, and surprisingly, she wanted to get to know me quite well through this platform.

Who knows—it could just be a man playing a part because he's bored. 😁

They don't. Personally, I love it when you guys message me whatever pops into your heads. I should probably reflect on a lot of what's been said. I try to run analyses on it—staying impartial and weighing the pros and cons. 👍

feralhound55 said:Sure, you missed the mark there—but that doesn't mean your reasoning was off. Trust your gut if it’s serving you well; it can be a pretty solid asset in just about any area of life.

The only mistake you made was throwing that estimate right in her face—it’s like you were punishing her for being completely transparent. Personally, I wouldn't have held it against you, but she did. You can't really predict how people handle things like that. Then again, if there's zero chance of building a real connection, maybe cutting ties was the move. Hell, you never know...

I love people who judge someone’s entire existence based on a first impression—and then have the nerve to claim they "never get fooled." 🙄 Not that this was directed at you—but honestly? It’s probably more useful to just watch someone for a bit—maybe because that's my move—to actually spend some time with them and judge based on their actions and attitudes instead. You can always make your exit whenever you want.

Look, if you want to stop getting hurt and avoid those awkward encounters—fine, just stay blunt. But honestly? You’re probably going to miss out on some good stuff that way. Find a middle ground. It’s perfectly okay to have an opinion—it doesn't mean you have to immediately dump it on the other side if you aren't 100% sure yet.

I didn't say anything negative. I just shared my opinion, even if it was wrong. Another thing is that some people just don't know how to have a discussion or swallow a few imperfections about their partner. I can do that with myself. I've been through a lot in life, and I certainly don't think I'm perfect or some special person the world revolves around. 😛

Yeah, using the phrase gotten rid of/freed isn't quite right. Maybe it would be more accurate to say: an amicable breakup initiated on her end.

feralhound55 said:Sure, you missed the mark there—but that doesn't mean your reasoning was off. Trust your gut if it’s serving you well; it can be a pretty solid asset in just about any area of life.

The only mistake you made was throwing that estimate right in her face—it’s like you were punishing her for being completely transparent. Personally, I wouldn't have held it against you, but she did. You can't really predict how people handle things like that. Then again, if there's zero chance of building a real connection, maybe cutting ties was the move. Hell, you never know...

I love people who judge someone’s entire existence based on a first impression—and then have the nerve to claim they "never get fooled." 🙄 Not that this was directed at you—but honestly? It’s probably more useful to just watch someone for a bit—maybe because that's my move—to actually spend some time with them and judge based on their actions and attitudes instead. You can always make your exit whenever you want.

Look, if you want to stop getting hurt and avoid those awkward encounters—fine, just stay blunt. But honestly? You’re probably going to miss out on some good stuff that way. Find a middle ground. It’s perfectly okay to have an opinion—it doesn't mean you have to immediately dump it on the other side if you aren't 100% sure yet.

Don't get me wrong, I definitely form opinions about people the second I see them, but usually, it's people judging *me*. Most guys get a pretty negative vibe from me right off the bat, which, honestly, isn't a bad thing. I'd rather be seen as a guy you shouldn't mess with than some "nice guy" type. Women tend to have very black-and-white views of me immediately. That kind of karma has been following me around for at least ten years now. 😁

I rarely miss the mark when I'm sizing someone up, though I've definitely had those moments where I was dead wrong and took a hit for it. At the end of the day, these are just mental shortcuts, NOT absolute laws of nature...

Nostradamus was a one-of-a-kind deal, and he'll stay that way... 😉
_______

Anyway, thanks everyone for the comments! 👍

Ronald Rogers27

Ronald Rogers27 said:I agree. There’s a huge chance that behind her "leader" persona, she’s hiding someone who is extremely vulnerable and insecure. Isn't it common for highly intelligent people to be like that? Usually, high IQ comes paired with high EQ. 😉

They don't. Personally, I love it when you guys message me whatever pops into your heads. I should probably reflect on a lot of what's been said. I try to run analyses on it—staying impartial and weighing the pros and cons. 👍

I didn't say anything negative. I just shared my opinion, even if it was wrong. Another thing is that some people just don't know how to have a discussion or swallow a few imperfections about their partner. I can do that with myself. I've been through a lot in life, and I certainly don't think I'm perfect or some special person the world revolves around. 😛

Yeah, using the phrase gotten rid of/freed isn't quite right. Maybe it would be more accurate to say: an amicable breakup initiated on her end.

Don't get me wrong, I definitely form opinions about people the second I see them, but usually, it's people judging *me*. Most guys get a pretty negative vibe from me right off the bat, which, honestly, isn't a bad thing. I'd rather be seen as a guy you shouldn't mess with than some "nice guy" type. Women tend to have very black-and-white views of me immediately. That kind of karma has been following me around for at least ten years now. 😁

I rarely miss the mark when I'm sizing someone up, though I've definitely had those moments where I was dead wrong and took a hit for it. At the end of the day, these are just mental shortcuts, NOT absolute laws of nature...

Nostradamus was a one-of-a-kind deal, and he'll stay that way... 😉
_______

Anyway, thanks everyone for the comments! 👍

Ronald Rogers27

Exactly what I mean. You basically have two choices: soften that bluntness to maintain more connections, or stay exactly as you are and just filter out the fake, insecure types. It’s really up to you which path you take.

Women tend to have a black-and-white view of me right off the bat—that kind of karma has been following me for at least a decade. 😁

Like I said, it's either total directness or nothing. Which might actually work in your favor. I tend to be a bit sharper with men early on—no filter, intentionally provocative—just to see who I'm dealing with. If they turn out to be weak, then bye-bye. So, it’s actually useful.