Helping a coworker

So, just how old are you actually?
And what on earth could your grandmother possibly have to say about this?
Just let her be, haha...

I've been ignoring her regarding this for 17 years, but honestly, she’s just a typical old lady. In her eyes, everyone should be some chubby little cherub. Heh. But after a while, it starts getting on my nerves... and you just can't reason with her. And yeah, I guess I just broke my promise from two posts up. Sorry.

Oh, come on... why even worry about it?
I mean, we've already shared plenty of good advice anyway, haha...
Seriously though, just tell Grandma you have it...
It's really not like she needs to know everything...

Man, how did I miss that? Haha.
So you're saying you were just like the woman in the post. What exactly was bothering you, and maybe—if you're comfortable sharing—how much?
Gonna drift off-topic for a second. Or, if you actually feel like talking, we could move this to private messages.

I had a chance to talk to her today—just the two of us. Everything seemed fine, relatively speaking, though it was brief.
Some people were whispering about scars on her arm, things they noticed while she wasn't around,
and I actually spotted them myself today—scars on one of her arms, just like

how she used to hurt herself. But honestly, I just don't get what she's going through. From what I
managed to gather from one of her old friends—someone who isn't even in our class now,

her friend told me that she lives in this gorgeous, massive house, that her parents are great,
she’s an only child, there's this beautiful green yard surrounding the place, her parents get along perfectly, they never fight,
and she gets really good...

If all that is true—and if this friend has known her for years, then it probably is—then I truly don't understand
why she is the way she is.

I feel for those who are naturally withdrawn, provided they actually find these situations distressing.
I knew someone like that back in high school; he barely ever spoke in sentences longer than five words.
I had my own struggles, so I didn't pay him much mind, but I noticed a pattern. In one-on-one settings, he acted like he was being interrogated, and when he was with our classmates, he would simply stay on the sidelines.
Naturally, people eventually started mocking him constantly. Most of it happened behind his back, which was bad enough, though there was one particularly nasty incident.
You cannot force change if a person does not want it. You simply act with decency and leave the rest up to them.

Donna Wood52 said:I had a chance to talk to her today—just the two of us. Everything seemed fine, relatively speaking, though it was brief.
Some people were whispering about scars on her arm, things they noticed while she wasn't around,
and I actually spotted them myself today—scars on one of her arms, just like

how she used to hurt herself. But honestly, I just don't get what she's going through. From what I
managed to gather from one of her old friends—someone who isn't even in our class now,

her friend told me that she lives in this gorgeous, massive house, that her parents are great,
she’s an only child, there's this beautiful green yard surrounding the place, her parents get along perfectly, they never fight,
and she gets really good...

If all that is true—and if this friend has known her for years, then it probably is—then I truly don't understand
why she is the way she is.

Well, there are a million little things that could have happened to her... I think I mentioned this already,
but I'm just going to take it slow with her and avoid any kind of joking around.👍

Donna Wood52 said:I had a chance to talk to her today—just the two of us. Everything seemed fine, relatively speaking, though it was brief.
Some people were whispering about scars on her arm, things they noticed while she wasn't around,
and I actually spotted them myself today—scars on one of her arms, just like

how she used to hurt herself. But honestly, I just don't get what she's going through. From what I
managed to gather from one of her old friends—someone who isn't even in our class now,

her friend told me that she lives in this gorgeous, massive house, that her parents are great,
she’s an only child, there's this beautiful green yard surrounding the place, her parents get along perfectly, they never fight,
and she gets really good...

If all that is true—and if this friend has known her for years, then it probably is—then I truly don't understand
why she is the way she is.

Man, reading this feels like looking at a mirror of myself from 10 or 15 years ago. I’ve changed so much (people barely recognize me now—I went from this super withdrawn, quiet girl to someone who talks constantly, is open, and actually friendly). Honestly, these days, the people who stay silent just drive me crazy.🙂
Maybe she was talkative in elementary school and then flipped to being quiet and withdrawn in high school, or maybe it was the other way around.
But look, the main thing is she's an only child, has that nice green yard, and her parents are totally fine together.
Maybe the girl thinks you guys won't accept her. Maybe she's terrified of communicating or making friends. Maybe she's just shy or embarrassed, or maybe she's dealing with her own internal demons. Maybe she had a best friend who did something truly horrible to her, or maybe puberty is just hitting her hard. It could be a million things. You have to be really careful with her; maybe she got bullied at her old school, or maybe she's just scared of being rejected.
Back in school, I remember this one classmate who kept trying to get close to me, but I just pushed her away every single time. I wouldn't let her in.

No one can help me with this kind of thing
Just let her be. If she doesn't want to, don't force it...
If she actually wants to, she'll show up on her own...
End of story 😛

1. You can always lend a hand to people like that...
2. I don't think you should coddle her, but maybe she needs some encouragement. I guess nobody actually wants to be alone.
3. She isn't going to just show up on her own, especially not right now. Maybe things will change down the road, who knows.