Chronic alcoholism

Peter Stewart18 said:

Look, girl, you’ve got a massive problem. And it isn't even about the booze—it's about you. You're hitting rock bottom, and honestly, it's only your family situation and a few safety nets keeping you from a total free fall.👎👎👎

Peter Stewart18 said:But for God's sake, I didn't grow up in a vacuum! My environment shaped me. Everything I've been through—the gambling, my own self-sabotage, constantly running into psychopaths because I couldn't spot them at first... there's a thousand other things that messed me up.

I'll tell you something: you'll find a "bottom" in any social circle if you look hard enough. That "environment" you're talking about? You seem to be hunting for the worst parts of it. You gamble with losers, which basically makes you one of those chronic losers who just can't be saved.😵

Peter Stewart18 said:So, last year, I actually tried to end it all after making the biggest, stupidest mistake of my life: an affair with a married man.

I wouldn't call that a "mistake." It was a lapse in judgment. People mess up, and we learn from it. But what about mistakes involving heavy alcoholism? Or gambling away everything at some dive bar, followed by getting assaulted? That's different.

Peter Stewart18 said:We barely touched on the subject for fifteen minutes before he just went stone-cold silent. He completely ignored me, despite how much I pleaded and explained that I desperately needed to talk through this, analyze it, and dig into it so I could actually get better.

I ended up feeling pure hatred and rage toward him (the doctor). I feel abandoned, betrayed, misunderstood, and totally unsupported. He is everything my ex wasn't.

If things keep going this way, you might just end up crashing hard and heading straight to bed, treating sleep like your own personal version of psychotherapy...
_______

I honestly don't know what to tell you. You're stuck deep in this hole, and it isn't even about your actions—it's about how you view yourself. The only way out is to start actually respecting and loving who you are, and from what I can see, that's going to take years of work. 🤷

Ronald Rogers27

Ronald Rogers27, first off, she knows she’s got an issue—she actually wrote that herself.🤣
When she talks about "the other one," she’s referring to her previous therapist who was actually helpful, not because she’s looking to jump into her current doctor's bed... I don't see anything anywhere suggesting she has any interest in that kind of thing.😛

Ronald Rogers27 said:Look, girl, you’ve got a massive problem. And it isn't even about the booze—it's about you. You're hitting rock bottom, and honestly, it's only your family situation and a few safety nets keeping you from a total free fall.👎👎👎

I'll tell you something: you'll find a "bottom" in any social circle if you look hard enough. That "environment" you're talking about? You seem to be hunting for the worst parts of it. You gamble with losers, which basically makes you one of those chronic losers who just can't be saved.😵

I wouldn't call that a "mistake." It was a lapse in judgment. People mess up, and we learn from it. But what about mistakes involving heavy alcoholism? Or gambling away everything at some dive bar, followed by getting assaulted? That's different.

If things keep going this way, you might just end up crashing hard and heading straight to bed, treating sleep like your own personal version of psychotherapy...
_______

I honestly don't know what to tell you. You're stuck deep in this hole, and it isn't even about your actions—it's about how you view yourself. The only way out is to start actually respecting and loving who you are, and from what I can see, that's going to take years of work. 🤷

Ronald Rogers27

I don't do that anymore. Since last October, I haven't even stepped foot in a bar.
Except for twice a month when I grab a drink with one friend.
And no, I didn't sleep with him. Typical chauvinistic pig mentality thinking that's the case.
Pathetic.

Ronald Rogers27 said:Look, girl, you’ve got a massive problem. And it isn't even about the booze—it's about you. You're hitting rock bottom, and honestly, it's only your family situation and a few safety nets keeping you from a total free fall.👎👎👎

I'll tell you something: you'll find a "bottom" in any social circle if you look hard enough. That "environment" you're talking about? You seem to be hunting for the worst parts of it. You gamble with losers, which basically makes you one of those chronic losers who just can't be saved.😵

I wouldn't call that a "mistake." It was a lapse in judgment. People mess up, and we learn from it. But what about mistakes involving heavy alcoholism? Or gambling away everything at some dive bar, followed by getting assaulted? That's different.

If things keep going this way, you might just end up crashing hard and heading straight to bed, treating sleep like your own personal version of psychotherapy...
_______

I honestly don't know what to tell you. You're stuck deep in this hole, and it isn't even about your actions—it's about how you view yourself. The only way out is to start actually respecting and loving who you are, and from what I can see, that's going to take years of work. 🤷

Ronald Rogers27

Back then, I honestly didn't care about anything. I think I actually wanted to die. I was completely alone, and my relationship with my sister—who was the only person I actually had a meaningful connection with at the time—was already falling apart. 🤷

Ronald Rogers27 said:Look, girl, you’ve got a massive problem. And it isn't even about the booze—it's about you. You're hitting rock bottom, and honestly, it's only your family situation and a few safety nets keeping you from a total free fall.👎👎👎

I'll tell you something: you'll find a "bottom" in any social circle if you look hard enough. That "environment" you're talking about? You seem to be hunting for the worst parts of it. You gamble with losers, which basically makes you one of those chronic losers who just can't be saved.😵

I wouldn't call that a "mistake." It was a lapse in judgment. People mess up, and we learn from it. But what about mistakes involving heavy alcoholism? Or gambling away everything at some dive bar, followed by getting assaulted? That's different.

If things keep going this way, you might just end up crashing hard and heading straight to bed, treating sleep like your own personal version of psychotherapy...
_______

I honestly don't know what to tell you. You're stuck deep in this hole, and it isn't even about your actions—it's about how you view yourself. The only way out is to start actually respecting and loving who you are, and from what I can see, that's going to take years of work. 🤷

Ronald Rogers27

No, there isn't, because I'm not interested, and I don't see him anymore. ☕

All in all, your posts are just depressing. You talk as if there's no hope for me, like I'm some lost cause that can't be fixed. But for heaven's sake, I'm not 60 years old! I've decided to change this hellish life I've been living.
And you don't seem to judge my shrink for blatantly pushing me toward the edge and enjoying it; I guess that's just "guy solidarity" for you. 🙂 🙂 🙂

Ronald Rogers27, look, your "analyses" aren't exactly harmless. There's no need to go out of your way to insult her; maybe just hold back on the commentary for once. You're calling her fat and saying she's losing her mind—just slow down a bit.
And all this because you didn't even bother to actually read what was written.
Of course there's a chance she recovers. Sure, it won't be easy, but she'll make it happen.

Peter Stewart18, give lolin's post a read. It's actually pretty good.

Amanda Stewart7 said:Ronald Rogers27, look, your "analyses" aren't exactly harmless. There's no need to go out of your way to insult her; maybe just hold back on the commentary for once. You're calling her fat and saying she's losing her mind—just slow down a bit.
And all this because you didn't even bother to actually read what was written.
Of course there's a chance she recovers. Sure, it won't be easy, but she'll make it happen.

Peter Stewart18, give lolin's post a read. It's actually pretty good.

I am, and honestly, I can't wait to get to Vineyard. 🙂 I totally get him; I feel exactly the same way he did before everything got "sorted out." The truth is, I'm running away from a million different things, and I'm already sick to death of alcohol. I hate it, it makes me nauseous—ugh, gross, gag me! (Hopefully, that's a good sign 🙂)

I have to admit, I'm terrified of going to the beach because I'd just end up doing everything solo again, and to me, that reeks of trouble. So, starting tomorrow, I'm heading out to get my medical referral and putting those seaside "vacations" on hold for better days—days I fully intend to reach. 🙂 👍

Nobody said a word.

amberbadger8 said:There is no valid reason to be afraid of Vineyard. Being scared of it is just being scared of learning about yourself and finally tackling the problem.
You’re still the one in the driver's seat when it comes to choosing your path to recovery.
Don't mix pills and booze 😵, because you're just doubling down on the addiction to both.
Your choice boils down to this:😛change immediately or keep stalling, and if you stall, it's only going to get harder.
Forget about "moderate drinking." Your current mental programming is the exact opposite of that.
You need to think long and hard about why you're running from reality.
If you say it's because being wasted feels better... you're lying to yourself.
My experience was forced hospitalization at Vineyard... a long time ago. My life is easier and better now without those attacks. When I first got there, I told them, "Look, I'm a worker, I don't belong in a place like this!" But after two weeks of getting sober, I realized it was a blessing. If I hadn't gone, everything would have gone to hell. So I rolled up my sleeves, and looking back, I'm glad I did. That experience stays with me.
I used to be frustrated and miserable if I went home just tipsy; I wanted to be absolutely trashed... that was my "sweet spot."🤣 ..but honestly, looking back, it seems ridiculous and stupid. Now, I enjoy having a clear head rather than watching the world spin.
So I'm telling you,😍 just go for it. Don't be afraid to change for the better. Along the way, you'll discover plenty of things that bring you more joy than booze ever could.👍

Look, I get it. I really do. I know what everyone’s going to say before they even open their mouths. I can already hear the eye-rolls and the "here we go again" sighs coming from across the room. Just let me finish my thought before you start typing. 🙂 Honestly, this constant anxiety has turned into a straight-up horror movie. It’s not just "stress" anymore; it’s like living in a non-stop psychological thriller where I'm waiting for the jump scare that never comes. It's exhausting. 🙂It’s honestly disgusting when you reach a point where you can't even find fulfillment just by doing the things you love—the stuff that actually helps you grow and keeps you sane.

amberbadger8 said:There is no valid reason to be afraid of Vineyard. Being scared of it is just being scared of learning about yourself and finally tackling the problem.
You’re still the one in the driver's seat when it comes to choosing your path to recovery.
Don't mix pills and booze 😵, because you're just doubling down on the addiction to both.
Your choice boils down to this:😛change immediately or keep stalling, and if you stall, it's only going to get harder.
Forget about "moderate drinking." Your current mental programming is the exact opposite of that.
You need to think long and hard about why you're running from reality.
If you say it's because being wasted feels better... you're lying to yourself.
My experience was forced hospitalization at Vineyard... a long time ago. My life is easier and better now without those attacks. When I first got there, I told them, "Look, I'm a worker, I don't belong in a place like this!" But after two weeks of getting sober, I realized it was a blessing. If I hadn't gone, everything would have gone to hell. So I rolled up my sleeves, and looking back, I'm glad I did. That experience stays with me.
I used to be frustrated and miserable if I went home just tipsy; I wanted to be absolutely trashed... that was my "sweet spot."🤣 ..but honestly, looking back, it seems ridiculous and stupid. Now, I enjoy having a clear head rather than watching the world spin.
So I'm telling you,😍 just go for it. Don't be afraid to change for the better. Along the way, you'll discover plenty of things that bring you more joy than booze ever could.👍

😂 Oh man, tell me about it! It’s absolutely true—it’s honestly just tragicomic at this point. 😂

Thanks! 🙂

I’m happy for you. You actually made a call to do something right by yourself, and that matters. You have to start somewhere if you want things to finally start rolling in the right direction. As they say, "Small wins and baby steps are the surest way to distance yourself from the mess," making the life you actually want feel real instead of just a dream. Making the decision is huge, but you also have to accept that change doesn't happen overnight. Just be brave, stop overthinking every little detail, and you'll be fine.😉
If you ever need some support or just want to vent about why you started turning to wine in the first place, my inbox is open or you can just post here... I'm happy to listen.👋

Peter Stewart18 said:I don't do that anymore. Since last October, I haven't even stepped foot in a bar.
Except for twice a month when I grab a drink with one friend.
And no, I didn't sleep with him. Typical chauvinistic pig mentality thinking that's the case.
Pathetic.

Back then, I honestly didn't care about anything. I think I actually wanted to die. I was completely alone, and my relationship with my sister—who was the only person I actually had a meaningful connection with at the time—was already falling apart. 🤷

No, there isn't, because I'm not interested, and I don't see him anymore. ☕

All in all, your posts are just depressing. You talk as if there's no hope for me, like I'm some lost cause that can't be fixed. But for heaven's sake, I'm not 60 years old! I've decided to change this hellish life I've been living.
And you don't seem to judge my shrink for blatantly pushing me toward the edge and enjoying it; I guess that's just "guy solidarity" for you. 🙂 🙂 🙂

Look, I'm just a little... wild thing living in Canada, imported to the States on a special line...

I’m just incredibly objective, and brutally honest to my core. 👍 I think you're cool, so I gave you a few (of my own axioms) pieces of solid advice. 🤷

But hey, feel free to deny how harsh I'm being... You'll just end up getting screwed over again because you don't even realize when you're losing consciousness... 😕

I'm definitely not Amanda Stewart7, and I'm certainly not amberbadger8... Both of them would be crushed before they could even say "it's nothing" in the situation I'm dealing with... 😁
_______

But you seem to be doing just fine with them, since they're all tripping over themselves to please you. Go right ahead, girl—"make my day" for some chauvinistic pig... 👍

Ronald Rogers27

Ronald Rogers27 said:Look, I'm just a little... wild thing living in Canada, imported to the States on a special line...

I’m just incredibly objective, and brutally honest to my core. 👍 I think you're cool, so I gave you a few (of my own axioms) pieces of solid advice. 🤷

But hey, feel free to deny how harsh I'm being... You'll just end up getting screwed over again because you don't even realize when you're losing consciousness... 😕

I'm definitely not Amanda Stewart7, and I'm certainly not amberbadger8... Both of them would be crushed before they could even say "it's nothing" in the situation I'm dealing with... 😁
_______

But you seem to be doing just fine with them, since they're all tripping over themselves to please you. Go right ahead, girl—"make my day" for some chauvinistic pig... 👍

Ronald Rogers27

Surovowski okrutnijev, regarding Nobody Dragović, they are actually HELPING me. Because of them, I'm already eating at places I'd never admit I needed to visit if it weren't for this online cry-for-help thread. And thanks to them, I didn't take a single sip tonight. If I had listened to you, I'd probably be chugging a gallon of vodka or injecting oxygen into a vein right now, considering how sensitive things are for me at the moment.

I'm glad you've turned into some hardened beast, but clearly, support works for me. I don't need your negative prejudice and that "you're going to fail, life's gonna hit you hard, you'll be eating dirt" attitude, et cetera.

Get it?

😉

But whatever, you put in some effort too, so I won't hit you with a fresh, sweet "insult."
Go ahead and congratulate me on a night spent drinking Cedars and having fancy tea with honey.

Bye. 😛

So, what actually sets you apart from Frida? My god... You have all this intelligence and, as you put it, artistic talent, but then there's this devastating pain on the other side. I find it hard to believe you haven't been able to find some decent, "normal" friends who might actually understand and support you.
By the way, did you report the assault and the beating?

Ronald Rogers27, just thought I’d give you a quick heads-up since you seem a bit lost on your own here. As far as I can tell, amberbadger8 is actually a guy. All I'm saying is maybe try reading a little more closely next time—at least try not to mix up gender and number...

Amanda Stewart7 said:Ronald Rogers27, just thought I’d give you a quick heads-up since you seem a bit lost on your own here. As far as I can tell, amberbadger8 is actually a guy. All I'm saying is maybe try reading a little more closely next time—at least try not to mix up gender and number...

Amanda Stewart7, go walk down to the river tonight—I'll be down there too. Go ahead and drown yourself (don't worry, I won't save you)! 👍

Well, you finally managed to get my attention... fine. I don't mind you constantly attacking me (just swing away, I don't care and I won't fight back)... You think you're being merciful, and that you're right because you're following your heart... 😂

That's just what you think, and I'll leave you to believe it. But collectivism isn't a virtue, Amanda Stewart7, it's a flaw. It's that messy spot in the backyard of human fate where people aggressively try to force everything into the same mold... 🙂

Ronald Rogers27

Amanda Stewart7 said:Ronald Rogers27, just thought I’d give you a quick heads-up since you seem a bit lost on your own here. As far as I can tell, amberbadger8 is actually a guy. All I'm saying is maybe try reading a little more closely next time—at least try not to mix up gender and number...

🙂🍿

I find myself agreeing most with Lola here; I think having a clear and lucid mind is an extraordinary value, something you might only realize once it’s gone, if ever. It is actually quite a significant achievement that Veronica decided to fight for her own mental clarity, which could lead to a certain kind of victory within her inner world—a sense of life satisfaction that is far greater than any conquest of enemy forts or some violent skirmish on a hillside. 😁
The real issue, I suppose, regarding why some people feel so defeated even when they haven't done anything wrong, is that our entire society is structured like a strategy of violence, though it's falsely presented as a strategy for development, promised progress, or victory. It's this winner-take-all system where, in the end, it isn't just humanity that loses, but also nature, which we diligently pollute with all our chemicals. 😲
On the other hand, those hardline types seem to love this state of affairs, but I guess it's just a form of addiction that clouds the brain—an addiction to adrenaline, or perhaps to the sheer meaninglessness of their own lives, and so on. They just aren't aware of the limitations of their own minds or the damage they inflict on themselves and others, because they shut themselves off from a different kind of humanity—one that isn't reduced to aggression or the idea that "man is a wolf to man," or things like that. 😍
Otherwise, I suppose everyone should collectively admire the courage and humanity of those guys in Rwanda who, right before the eyes of the whole world, ordered machetes to slaughter a million of their own fellow citizens. They tested belonging to a certain group by sticking fingers up victims' noses; if the nostrils were wide enough, then they were deemed worthy of death. It makes about as much sense as anything else. 🤣 Even a cannibalistic dictator like Idi Amin - Dada would probably envy us such a method of therapy, especially since he used to hide cowardly from the army before he took power, which is where his nickname comes from, I guess. Maybe even Julius Nyerere wouldn't have minded it, nor Robert Mugabe, who decided to toss all the white people into the river and seize their property. Oh, yes, they were all proponents of some sort of communism, or at least the expropriation of private property. 🤣 😂