Heartbroken over nothing

I’m mostly opening up here just to vent a little, to let out some things I need to say to people who don't even know me. Sure, I have a few close friends who are basically brothers to me—guys I can pour my heart out to—but it’s just not the same thing, you know? I share certain parts of myself, but there's always that deeper side I keep locked away inside.

So, here’s the story. Back on January 21st of last year, I was driving home from a birthday party, totally wasted, and I just lost control of the car on a sharp turn. I slammed into a tree and ended up sliding right into the river.
I honestly can only thank God that I made it out alive and didn't take anyone else down with me. I spend so much time living in regret, constantly playing back the "what ifs" in my head—wondering how things could have gone differently, what if I had taken a different route, or what if I hadn't been drinking in the first place... it just haunts me.

That car I wrecked... man, I absolutely loved that thing. I spent so much time washing it, detailing it, keeping the engine pristine; it was always gleaming. Because it happened on such a busy stretch of road, the damage was total. The only way to actually fix it would have been importing a whole new chassis and parts all the way from Germany. My old man shut that idea down immediately because it just wasn't worth the money—he was the one who gave me the car in the first place, so I hadn't really earned it myself.

Since that day, not a single one has passed where I haven't thought about it. Almost every time the memory hits, I find myself tearing up. I can't even put into words how much I miss that car and how much I hate myself for letting things get so out of hand that I crashed while drunk. I’m constantly dreaming about turning back the clock and doing things the right way. I catch myself imagining being behind the wheel again, sitting in that seat, running my hand over the dashboard and feeling every single detail like it’s actually happening.
I know I probably sound a little crazy, but that green machine was everything to me. 😢

That’s the part that’s killing me—not knowing how long this weight is going to stay on my chest or when the ache will finally stop. Anyway, if there’s anyone else out there who finds themselves grieving over something that isn't even alive, please reach out. I could really use someone to vent to.
Thanks 😉

I'm thinking you're just being cheap

I haven't, and honestly, I never have been. What makes you think that's the case?

stormyowl21 said:I’m mostly opening up here just to vent a little, to let out some things I need to say to people who don't even know me. Sure, I have a few close friends who are basically brothers to me—guys I can pour my heart out to—but it’s just not the same thing, you know? I share certain parts of myself, but there's always that deeper side I keep locked away inside.

So, here’s the story. Back on January 21st of last year, I was driving home from a birthday party, totally wasted, and I just lost control of the car on a sharp turn. I slammed into a tree and ended up sliding right into the river.
I honestly can only thank God that I made it out alive and didn't take anyone else down with me. I spend so much time living in regret, constantly playing back the "what ifs" in my head—wondering how things could have gone differently, what if I had taken a different route, or what if I hadn't been drinking in the first place... it just haunts me.

That car I wrecked... man, I absolutely loved that thing. I spent so much time washing it, detailing it, keeping the engine pristine; it was always gleaming. Because it happened on such a busy stretch of road, the damage was total. The only way to actually fix it would have been importing a whole new chassis and parts all the way from Germany. My old man shut that idea down immediately because it just wasn't worth the money—he was the one who gave me the car in the first place, so I hadn't really earned it myself.

Since that day, not a single one has passed where I haven't thought about it. Almost every time the memory hits, I find myself tearing up. I can't even put into words how much I miss that car and how much I hate myself for letting things get so out of hand that I crashed while drunk. I’m constantly dreaming about turning back the clock and doing things the right way. I catch myself imagining being behind the wheel again, sitting in that seat, running my hand over the dashboard and feeling every single detail like it’s actually happening.
I know I probably sound a little crazy, but that green machine was everything to me. 😢

That’s the part that’s killing me—not knowing how long this weight is going to stay on my chest or when the ache will finally stop. Anyway, if there’s anyone else out there who finds themselves grieving over something that isn't even alive, please reach out. I could really use someone to vent to.
Thanks 😉

Just a little thought, do you ever wonder if a car can actually feel the loss of its owner? ☕

If I could offer one tiny bit of advice, please don't go getting too attached to things like growing plants or anything similar, because you'll end up getting way too emotionally invested, and honestly, that's never a good thing! ☕

So, you're seriously just gonna shrug it off when people treat you like garbage????? 🙄

stormyowl21 said:I’m mostly opening up here just to vent a little, to let out some things I need to say to people who don't even know me. Sure, I have a few close friends who are basically brothers to me—guys I can pour my heart out to—but it’s just not the same thing, you know? I share certain parts of myself, but there's always that deeper side I keep locked away inside.

So, here’s the story. Back on January 21st of last year, I was driving home from a birthday party, totally wasted, and I just lost control of the car on a sharp turn. I slammed into a tree and ended up sliding right into the river.
I honestly can only thank God that I made it out alive and didn't take anyone else down with me. I spend so much time living in regret, constantly playing back the "what ifs" in my head—wondering how things could have gone differently, what if I had taken a different route, or what if I hadn't been drinking in the first place... it just haunts me.

That car I wrecked... man, I absolutely loved that thing. I spent so much time washing it, detailing it, keeping the engine pristine; it was always gleaming. Because it happened on such a busy stretch of road, the damage was total. The only way to actually fix it would have been importing a whole new chassis and parts all the way from Germany. My old man shut that idea down immediately because it just wasn't worth the money—he was the one who gave me the car in the first place, so I hadn't really earned it myself.

Since that day, not a single one has passed where I haven't thought about it. Almost every time the memory hits, I find myself tearing up. I can't even put into words how much I miss that car and how much I hate myself for letting things get so out of hand that I crashed while drunk. I’m constantly dreaming about turning back the clock and doing things the right way. I catch myself imagining being behind the wheel again, sitting in that seat, running my hand over the dashboard and feeling every single detail like it’s actually happening.
I know I probably sound a little crazy, but that green machine was everything to me. 😢

That’s the part that’s killing me—not knowing how long this weight is going to stay on my chest or when the ache will finally stop. Anyway, if there’s anyone else out there who finds themselves grieving over something that isn't even alive, please reach out. I could really use someone to vent to.
Thanks 😉

Have you ever even had a girlfriend? Probably not.

(Good luck when you finally do)

Ronald Rogers27

Every education comes with a price tag. You passed your test—"don't drink and drive"
- not everything can be replaced
and as a gift, you walked away with your life.
Instead of whining, just say thank you to God.
Clearly, you think you're fine because the roles are reversed; if it were your car, it wouldn't be crying, but your father certainly would.
Once you're old enough to drink, you're old enough to work. Go find a job and save up for another car, even if it's the exact same model.
If you had spent your time working instead of moping, you might actually own one by now.
If you're currently in college, you could always pick up some summer work during the break when exams aren't in session...
Plenty of things are possible, but you have to go out and see for yourself; don't just sit there waiting for me to tell you how the world works.
Just take a breath, talk to someone, maybe sit down with your dad and figure out what the smartest move is.
Maybe this whole mess happened just so you could learn how to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and actually find a solution.
Don't get mad at me—maybe I'm being a bit blunt—but if you had earned that car yourself, you’d probably already be looking at your next upgrade because you'd actually know how to make it happen.
Bottom line: dry those tears, get out of your room, and get to work.
When was the last time you did something nice for your mom? Pay a little more attention to the people who actually care about you...👍

I hope you learned something from this experience and actually took a lesson away from it. Now you know better than to mess around while you're behind the wheel. Don't go crying over a dented fender too much.😉

...man, I just can't wrap my head around grieving over a car... Don't be such a materialist, though, if this post is any indication, you definitely are.

Keith Fowler43 said:Just a little thought, do you ever wonder if a car can actually feel the loss of its owner? ☕

If I could offer one tiny bit of advice, please don't go getting too attached to things like growing plants or anything similar, because you'll end up getting way too emotionally invested, and honestly, that's never a good thing! ☕

😂🤣 I am actually laughing out loud right now. This completely made my day. Thank God I'm sitting alone in my office, otherwise I'm pretty sure everyone outside could have heard me cackling...

Nicole Lee4 said:Every education comes with a price tag. You passed your test—"don't drink and drive"
- not everything can be replaced
and as a gift, you walked away with your life.
Instead of whining, just say thank you to God.
Clearly, you think you're fine because the roles are reversed; if it were your car, it wouldn't be crying, but your father certainly would.
Once you're old enough to drink, you're old enough to work. Go find a job and save up for another car, even if it's the exact same model.
If you had spent your time working instead of moping, you might actually own one by now.
If you're currently in college, you could always pick up some summer work during the break when exams aren't in session...
Plenty of things are possible, but you have to go out and see for yourself; don't just sit there waiting for me to tell you how the world works.
Just take a breath, talk to someone, maybe sit down with your dad and figure out what the smartest move is.
Maybe this whole mess happened just so you could learn how to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and actually find a solution.
Don't get mad at me—maybe I'm being a bit blunt—but if you had earned that car yourself, you’d probably already be looking at your next upgrade because you'd actually know how to make it happen.
Bottom line: dry those tears, get out of your room, and get to work.
When was the last time you did something nice for your mom? Pay a little more attention to the people who actually care about you...👍

That's a fair point, honestly. I'm not even mad, I don't see why I should be. I'm currently in school and I've been thinking about it for a while now—planning to pick up some work over the summer so I can buy a different car. And I'm going to do it.
And as for my mom, I actually got her a kiss for Easter 🙂

And yeah, I actually had a girlfriend back then who I loved even more than this one 🙂

John 2072 - Honestly, all I can say is that I actually find it quite charming when you get all worked up over things... that whole animism thing you have going on is pretty sweet.🙂

Just like one of those commercials:

"Alright, enough about my car—let’s talk about me for a second."

😬

Brenda Cook4 said:John 2072 - Honestly, all I can say is that I actually find it quite charming when you get all worked up over things... that whole animism thing you have going on is pretty sweet.🙂

You really cracked me up. 🙂 It’s like, when it feels that real, you almost start believing it actually has a soul, right? ^^

stormyowl21 said:I’m mostly opening up here just to vent a little, to let out some things I need to say to people who don't even know me. Sure, I have a few close friends who are basically brothers to me—guys I can pour my heart out to—but it’s just not the same thing, you know? I share certain parts of myself, but there's always that deeper side I keep locked away inside.

So, here’s the story. Back on January 21st of last year, I was driving home from a birthday party, totally wasted, and I just lost control of the car on a sharp turn. I slammed into a tree and ended up sliding right into the river.
I honestly can only thank God that I made it out alive and didn't take anyone else down with me. I spend so much time living in regret, constantly playing back the "what ifs" in my head—wondering how things could have gone differently, what if I had taken a different route, or what if I hadn't been drinking in the first place... it just haunts me.

That car I wrecked... man, I absolutely loved that thing. I spent so much time washing it, detailing it, keeping the engine pristine; it was always gleaming. Because it happened on such a busy stretch of road, the damage was total. The only way to actually fix it would have been importing a whole new chassis and parts all the way from Germany. My old man shut that idea down immediately because it just wasn't worth the money—he was the one who gave me the car in the first place, so I hadn't really earned it myself.

Since that day, not a single one has passed where I haven't thought about it. Almost every time the memory hits, I find myself tearing up. I can't even put into words how much I miss that car and how much I hate myself for letting things get so out of hand that I crashed while drunk. I’m constantly dreaming about turning back the clock and doing things the right way. I catch myself imagining being behind the wheel again, sitting in that seat, running my hand over the dashboard and feeling every single detail like it’s actually happening.
I know I probably sound a little crazy, but that green machine was everything to me. 😢

That’s the part that’s killing me—not knowing how long this weight is going to stay on my chest or when the ache will finally stop. Anyway, if there’s anyone else out there who finds themselves grieving over something that isn't even alive, please reach out. I could really use someone to vent to.
Thanks 😉

Your connection to that car was more than just mechanical; it was emotional (a gift), something you cared for, showed love to, and maybe even took a lot of pride in😉. Losing something like that hurts because it cuts that tie between you and something incredibly precious, if you catch my drift.
It isn't just about the car, though. You're carrying that guilt toward your dad and the choices you made, knowing that losing the car was entirely on you and you're the only person you can point the finger at.

I honestly don't know what to tell you, or when the feeling will fade, because if I knew, I wouldn't be hanging out on this forum instead of studying for tomorrow. I'm a total moron who can't seem to force myself to hit the books... ah... whatever...

Lisa Barnes3 said:Your connection to that car was more than just mechanical; it was emotional (a gift), something you cared for, showed love to, and maybe even took a lot of pride in😉. Losing something like that hurts because it cuts that tie between you and something incredibly precious, if you catch my drift.
It isn't just about the car, though. You're carrying that guilt toward your dad and the choices you made, knowing that losing the car was entirely on you and you're the only person you can point the finger at.

I honestly don't know what to tell you, or when the feeling will fade, because if I knew, I wouldn't be hanging out on this forum instead of studying for tomorrow. I'm a total moron who can't seem to force myself to hit the books... ah... whatever...

Thanks for responding, you hit the nail right on the head.
It really means a lot to have someone actually understand where I'm coming from instead of just judging me like I'm some kind of freak. 😉

P.s. You should probably get back to studying; you shouldn't have wasted your time on me ^^ though I have to say, that was a really beautiful thing to write.🙂

It’s pretty funny how you only ever reply to women... even though that *green car* is definitely masculine.

(Maybe there's a bit of a [latent] thing going on with your orientation?!) 🤷

Ronald Rogers27

I actually replied to you too, I just didn't tag you specifically regarding that girl situation :P

stormyowl21 said:You really cracked me up. 🙂 It’s like, when it feels that real, you almost start believing it actually has a soul, right? ^^

🙂 I mean, true... either way, being green somehow saved you—you walked away totally unscathed.