Seeking support for suicidal thoughts

How does someone deal with suicidal thoughts being on their mind every single day?

rapidgull3 said:How does someone deal with suicidal thoughts being on their mind every single day?

Honestly, you should talk to someone who’s actually been through the ringer—someone who was right on the edge, tried to go through with it, but then caught a second wind and decided to stay. Or, even better, grab a coffee with an EMT or a paramedic who spends their shifts responding to calls like this. Most of the time, those people end up being anything but dead; they're just humans fighting really hard to find a reason to keep going.

brightpanther21 said:Honestly, you should talk to someone who’s actually been through the ringer—someone who was right on the edge, tried to go through with it, but then caught a second wind and decided to stay. Or, even better, grab a coffee with an EMT or a paramedic who spends their shifts responding to calls like this. Most of the time, those people end up being anything but dead; they're just humans fighting really hard to find a reason to keep going.

Exactly. It’s funny how thinking about a hospital makes the idea of suicide feel less appealing right now, simply because I’m feeling so incredibly weak. I can barely function, and I know if I attempted something today, I wouldn't even succeed at that. But honestly, I don't know which is worse: living while knowing you still have that "exit" available, or living through moments like this where you realize you aren't even capable of that. It feels so simple in my head—just walk over to the cabinet, take three Xanax tablets (thank God I have an export supply), grab a razor from the nightstand, make a few cuts, stare at the blood, and just wait... I'm not sure if the reality would actually feel as good as it did in my dreams, but in my sleep, it felt wonderful.

rapidgull3 said:How does someone deal with suicidal thoughts being on their mind every single day?

..Basically, you have to overhaul your rotten mindset and how you view the world...
..There are plenty of ways to swim out of those waters...
Find a professional to talk to...
..Get some books that actually help...
..I've been in that exact hole myself...That’s why I’m telling you—don't lose hope. Solutions are all around you...you just need to aim yourself correctly and help will come from everywhere...
..But the most important part has to come from you...And that is a genuine desire to live...
Feel free to shoot me a DM if you ever need advice.....
Just speaking broadly here, through these threads...
Later.

Look, if you actually want to exit this life while you’re still in a decent headspace, then just go for it.

But, I mean, if you aren't actually, like, deep down in your soul feeling the urge to end it all right now... if you aren't ready to just take the path of least resistance and wrap things up on a life that hasn't even really kicked off yet—you know, before you've even tasted one tiny little thing that actually exists or achieved any of those massive goals out there—

Then honestly? I suggest flushing those dark thoughts out of your system with some heavy-duty doses of autosuggestion. Just grab a book and start reading.

It weirds me out how many people drift onto this forum talking about suicide when they haven't even put in the actual work to find a way out. Seriously, keep searching until you find something that sticks, and once you do, get moving and try to enjoy a brighter life.

If you can't find the answers here, go pick up some books on psychology. There isn't some magic, easy button for changing who you are until you realize the shift has to happen inside you—you just have to figure out the method. Once you grasp how to flip that switch from total darkness to something bright within yourself, the change becomes pretty straightforward.

Also, I'd suggest checking out the "psychology - Feeling - I don't want to kill myself..." thread; you might stumble upon some solid advice or a way to rewire your thinking there.

rapidgull3 said:How does someone deal with suicidal thoughts being on their mind every single day?

Honestly, just find a job—you won't have the headspace to dwell on it anymore. Plus, you'll meet new people and actually build a social life, which makes those thoughts feel a lot less constant.🙂

Dana Morales64 said:Honestly, just find a job—you won't have the headspace to dwell on it anymore. Plus, you'll meet new people and actually build a social life, which makes those thoughts feel a lot less constant.🙂

Suicide will always be on my mind because the underlying issues aren't just going away. As a pessimist, I’m terrified that these thoughts will only intensify. Here is why: my mother’s schizophrenia, the fear of losing my father, my own lack of independence, my anxiety about facing life, and mounting utility debts of around... $6000 The insults keep coming. Even though I signed an employment contract, my lack of confidence leaves me spiraling. I’m constantly panicked about whether I’ll even keep this job. I have had a suicide plan fixed in my mind for a long time; honestly, I think about it every single day. Once my father passes away, I plan to slit my wrists at my temples and bleed out. It’s the only way to avoid the onslaught of negativity. If I'm gone, I won't have to deal with the panic, the insecurity, the inability to be independent, or the social anxiety. Once Dad is gone, the only future I see is my mother ending up in a psychiatric ward and me living like a vagrant on the streets because we'll be evicted from our house. Therefore, killing myself is the only logical way to stay ahead of it all.

rapidgull3 said:Suicide will always be on my mind because the underlying issues aren't just going away. As a pessimist, I’m terrified that these thoughts will only intensify. Here is why: my mother’s schizophrenia, the fear of losing my father, my own lack of independence, my anxiety about facing life, and mounting utility debts of around... $6000 The insults keep coming. Even though I signed an employment contract, my lack of confidence leaves me spiraling. I’m constantly panicked about whether I’ll even keep this job. I have had a suicide plan fixed in my mind for a long time; honestly, I think about it every single day. Once my father passes away, I plan to slit my wrists at my temples and bleed out. It’s the only way to avoid the onslaught of negativity. If I'm gone, I won't have to deal with the panic, the insecurity, the inability to be independent, or the social anxiety. Once Dad is gone, the only future I see is my mother ending up in a psychiatric ward and me living like a vagrant on the streets because we'll be evicted from our house. Therefore, killing myself is the only logical way to stay ahead of it all.

Why don't you just step up, take some responsibility, and help your mom once your dad is gone? Isn't that enough of a reason to stay alive—helping someone so they don't end up alone in a facility? That’s your mother. Even if she does end up in an institution, don't you feel like you should be there for her, loving her and supporting her, even if it's just through visits, kind words, or the little things?

If you can't find the strength to stop looking for ways to escape a tough situation, why not ask for help? Reach out to a professional who can actually show you how to face life and fight back. People survive much worse than what you've listed here.
Don't think I'm judging your suicidal ideation, but I do think you're being unfair to your mom, who is clearly going to need you. Besides, maybe your psychology issues (anxieties, insecurities—it's not like you have a terminal illness) are solvable. And maybe your financial problems are solvable too ($6000 is still better than being $20,000 in debt...). Honestly, leaving your mom in the gutter without even trying to fix relatively manageable problems (since unsolvable ones *do* exist...) is just plain sad...

rapidgull3 said:How does someone deal with suicidal thoughts being on their mind every single day?

Stop thinking about it every single day. At worst—just jump.

Don't go killing yourself or whatever, because, newsflash, you're gonna die anyway. Why even stress about the stuff you can actually fix versus the stuff you can't? It’s all just noise. Just stop giving a damn.

rapidgull3 said:How does someone deal with suicidal thoughts being on their mind every single day?

Go find some professional psychology help right now. Seriously. At the same time, grab a notebook and start mapping out your life and your actual goals. Right now, it looks like your only goal is figuring out how to check out early. It’s like you’ve got a glitch in your operating system—you need a total reprogramming, but you have to hunt down the bug, the Trojan, or whatever virus is causing the crash first. Get busy with something. Stop wasting your days just spiraling over ways to end it all. Life is meant to be lived.

Look, you need to pay CLOSE ATTENTION to the situation you're in right now.

Everyone has a breaking point when it comes to how much crap they can take from their environment. Honestly, I think you’ve passed that $6.00 threshold where you can even hope for a solution if you keep thinking this way.

So, try doing this instead.

STEP 1: Go check on your physical health (usually just a blood test or checking for vitamin deficiencies).

Here's why: because you're living under constant, non-stop stress, you aren't just burning out your mind—you're absolutely wrecking your body. When your physical health is shot, you lose the ability to think straight or make mature decisions.

It's common knowledge that by November and December, we've completely burned through all those great vitamins we soaked up from the Phoenix over the summer.

Kudos on this post! It’s actually really nice reading the replies from you guys on this forum; you're being so encouraging.

I think I read somewhere in a local newspaper that there's an organization out there that offers free education and counseling for folks in Chicago regarding household finances. Does anyone know anything about that?

Gregory Rodriguez8 said:Look, you need to pay CLOSE ATTENTION to the situation you're in right now.

Everyone has a breaking point when it comes to how much crap they can take from their environment. Honestly, I think you’ve passed that $6.00 threshold where you can even hope for a solution if you keep thinking this way.

So, try doing this instead.

STEP 1: Go check on your physical health (usually just a blood test or checking for vitamin deficiencies).

Here's why: because you're living under constant, non-stop stress, you aren't just burning out your mind—you're absolutely wrecking your body. When your physical health is shot, you lose the ability to think straight or make mature decisions.

It's common knowledge that by November and December, we've completely burned through all those great vitamins we soaked up from the Phoenix over the summer.

Kudos on this post! It’s actually really nice reading the replies from you guys on this forum; you're being so encouraging.

I think I read somewhere in a local newspaper that there's an organization out there that offers free education and counseling for folks in Chicago regarding household finances. Does anyone know anything about that?

It’s great that we always have these little pockets of positivity here...
but let’s be real. This stuff doesn't work in the real world. If it did, we wouldn't have these issues in the first place!
Look, I don't trust the American healthcare system. Period.
They're either incompetent or just lazy. Honestly, they probably just bought whatever certifications they needed to look legitimate.
I wouldn't trust those butchers to dig up my backyard, let alone draw my blood.
And then they claim they're even running tests?! What a joke. 🙄
People around here just copy-paste through the paperwork without a second thought.
☕

darkbison81 said:Why don't you just step up, take some responsibility, and help your mom once your dad is gone? Isn't that enough of a reason to stay alive—helping someone so they don't end up alone in a facility? That’s your mother. Even if she does end up in an institution, don't you feel like you should be there for her, loving her and supporting her, even if it's just through visits, kind words, or the little things?

If you can't find the strength to stop looking for ways to escape a tough situation, why not ask for help? Reach out to a professional who can actually show you how to face life and fight back. People survive much worse than what you've listed here.
Don't think I'm judging your suicidal ideation, but I do think you're being unfair to your mom, who is clearly going to need you. Besides, maybe your psychology issues (anxieties, insecurities—it's not like you have a terminal illness) are solvable. And maybe your financial problems are solvable too ($6000 is still better than being $20,000 in debt...). Honestly, leaving your mom in the gutter without even trying to fix relatively manageable problems (since unsolvable ones *do* exist...) is just plain sad...

Care about my mother?! That's horrific. When I was seven or eight, I remember three instances of incest while my father was at work. There is zero chance I am "caring" for her. In fact, she is one of the primary reasons I'm even considering suicide, alongside everything else I mentioned. On another note, I start a new job tomorrow—my first since being unemployed for a few years. During that time, I spent 1.5 years seeing a psychiatrist who provided zero help, and my panic attacks have already taken hold. I don't know if I can mentally handle or keep this job, especially with my panic disorder. As for the old woman, I am her child, but she raised me solely for herself. She claims she birthed me just so she wouldn't be bored and tells me not to interfere in her business. She's still harping on those same lines today, and I'm 33. So, it isn't just utility bills and my father's illness; it's her. I am terrified that the only thing standing between my mother and her own destructive impulses is my father, whom I view as my shield against her—a man she claims to hate. Once he dies, the only option left will be suicide. Dealing with her and everything else will be impossible.

I find myself grappling with suicidal ideations on an almost daily basis, and I must admit, it truly worries me. Because my current circumstances and the environment I live in aren't exactly ideal, I frequently experience these moments where I wish I had never been born. It’s such a strange, conflicting sensation—I have this urge to end everything, yet, in truth, I don't actually want to die... It feels quite bizarre because, at the same time, I am deathly afraid of dying, yet I am equally terrified of living life as it is right now.
Despite my best efforts, I suppose I struggle quite a bit when it comes to my social life; people don't seem particularly interested in getting to know me, and I guess I don't feel much interest in them either. This carries over into my romantic life as well. Even though I am well-educated and possess a strong command of grammar and language, I seem to lose all sense of how to communicate effectively. My self-confidence is also quite unstable—it fluctuates constantly, rising one moment and plummeting the next... there just isn't any sense of balance
I was actually supposed to have a consultation with my doctor several weeks ago, but the appointment was canceled due to his other commitments. I certainly understand why that would happen, assuming he isn't being untruthful about his schedule, though I don't necessarily think he is lying.😁
So, I suppose I am left with nothing but to wait, while simultaneously trying to investigate the root cause of my struggles—provided I can find the willpower to do so—and perhaps hold those responsible to account (though, of course, I am not pointing fingers at everyone or every single thing).

It’s been rough, but I’m finally starting to feel human again after three days of this. Work is actually going well right now. I just hope this streak holds.

Just stay brave. Take it one day at a time... keep those negative thoughts from cluttering up your head. Look for little moments to just unwind and find something to occupy your mind. Honestly, staying busy with work is a smart move—it gives you the sense that you’re actually in the driver's seat of your own life, both the good parts and the bad. Just keep hunting for ways to tackle your problems head-on and build up your own strength.
Best, 😉

coastalviper2 said:I find myself grappling with suicidal ideations on an almost daily basis, and I must admit, it truly worries me. Because my current circumstances and the environment I live in aren't exactly ideal, I frequently experience these moments where I wish I had never been born. It’s such a strange, conflicting sensation—I have this urge to end everything, yet, in truth, I don't actually want to die... It feels quite bizarre because, at the same time, I am deathly afraid of dying, yet I am equally terrified of living life as it is right now.
Despite my best efforts, I suppose I struggle quite a bit when it comes to my social life; people don't seem particularly interested in getting to know me, and I guess I don't feel much interest in them either. This carries over into my romantic life as well. Even though I am well-educated and possess a strong command of grammar and language, I seem to lose all sense of how to communicate effectively. My self-confidence is also quite unstable—it fluctuates constantly, rising one moment and plummeting the next... there just isn't any sense of balance
I was actually supposed to have a consultation with my doctor several weeks ago, but the appointment was canceled due to his other commitments. I certainly understand why that would happen, assuming he isn't being untruthful about his schedule, though I don't necessarily think he is lying.😁
So, I suppose I am left with nothing but to wait, while simultaneously trying to investigate the root cause of my struggles—provided I can find the willpower to do so—and perhaps hold those responsible to account (though, of course, I am not pointing fingers at everyone or every single thing).

Everything is surmountable if you can find a compelling purpose. Don't let yourself slip into passivity. Implement significant changes in your daily routine to build momentum, then layer in more activities to keep your focus firmly on the present.
If there's any substance use involved, stop immediately and seek the appropriate treatment. That’s really all there is to it.

Regards.

By some coincidence, we share the same US flag markings!

I don't think there's an easy way out of this... I've been dealing with this same "syndrome" for a while now and, honestly, I haven't found a single way to stop my brain from looping on it... I guess it’s just wired into certain people, isn't it?

Kenneth Campbell said:Everything is surmountable if you can find a compelling purpose. Don't let yourself slip into passivity. Implement significant changes in your daily routine to build momentum, then layer in more activities to keep your focus firmly on the present.
If there's any substance use involved, stop immediately and seek the appropriate treatment. That’s really all there is to it.

Regards.

By some coincidence, we share the same US flag markings!

It feels incredibly difficult to pin down a true sense of purpose sometimes, because I guess even when I think I’ve finally stumbled upon it, I just end up feeling so disappointed in myself; I start doubting whether I actually have what it takes to pull it off... but, I suppose, I do have some ideas for making a real change...

Kenneth Campbell said:Everything is surmountable if you can find a compelling purpose. Don't let yourself slip into passivity. Implement significant changes in your daily routine to build momentum, then layer in more activities to keep your focus firmly on the present.
If there's any substance use involved, stop immediately and seek the appropriate treatment. That’s really all there is to it.

Regards.

By some coincidence, we share the same US flag markings!

Hehe... I absolutely love this flag! I actually have three of them hanging right in my room. 😁And when we start talking about purpose, I suppose one of the primary reasons I even bother living is because of the United Kingdom or England...