Are people actually good?

At 18, I hit a massive reality check. Before that, I lived entirely inside books and my own imagination—horrors like the Holocaust felt like distant, historical footnotes rather than actual reality. Then, it all clicked: the world isn't just populated by "good people." I realized that while most people try, there’s a dark undercurrent out there—and while that small percentage of truly malicious individuals ends up behind bars, the rest of the world is much more complicated. It took me a long time to accept that people aren't just black or white; most of us live in the gray area—I'm talking about the everyday people you pass on the street, not the absolute monsters.
Over time, I’ve built up a bit of a defense mechanism—I can even find myself being pretty harsh toward someone if I really have to (strictly as a means of self-defense, of course). As for my kindness? Honestly, I’m good to others mostly out of pure selfishness: it simply feels good to be a decent person.

William Garcia64 said:At 18, I hit a massive reality check. Before that, I lived entirely inside books and my own imagination—horrors like the Holocaust felt like distant, historical footnotes rather than actual reality. Then, it all clicked: the world isn't just populated by "good people." I realized that while most people try, there’s a dark undercurrent out there—and while that small percentage of truly malicious individuals ends up behind bars, the rest of the world is much more complicated. It took me a long time to accept that people aren't just black or white; most of us live in the gray area—I'm talking about the everyday people you pass on the street, not the absolute monsters.
Over time, I’ve built up a bit of a defense mechanism—I can even find myself being pretty harsh toward someone if I really have to (strictly as a means of self-defense, of course). As for my kindness? Honestly, I’m good to others mostly out of pure selfishness: it simply feels good to be a decent person.

Exactly. People are inherently selfish. We act kind because we expect something in return—it's standard operating procedure. Personally, I don't do things for others out of pure altruism; I do them so they'll be grateful and pay it forward. Anyone claiming they're a "saint" or a "pure soul" is lying through their teeth. Those are the first ones you'll see lash out. If a person doesn't possess a healthy dose of egoism and self-love, they're fundamentally broken. A little self-interest is actually the foundation of mental health. People who lack it either live miserable lives or end up in some dark place. That's just the logic. Clearly, some people have never learned to love themselves, so they spend their entire lives just trying to please everyone else. It's pathetic.

Robert Murphy8 said:Exactly. People are inherently selfish. We act kind because we expect something in return—it's standard operating procedure. Personally, I don't do things for others out of pure altruism; I do them so they'll be grateful and pay it forward. Anyone claiming they're a "saint" or a "pure soul" is lying through their teeth. Those are the first ones you'll see lash out. If a person doesn't possess a healthy dose of egoism and self-love, they're fundamentally broken. A little self-interest is actually the foundation of mental health. People who lack it either live miserable lives or end up in some dark place. That's just the logic. Clearly, some people have never learned to love themselves, so they spend their entire lives just trying to please everyone else. It's pathetic.

Look at it this way...

Someone does something to you that really hurts you... then later on, you get the perfect chance to get even. Are you going to take it???

I wouldn't, because then I'd just be becoming exactly like them.

And I wouldn't go crawling back to them demanding they treat me better just because I was nice to them before... I'd just walk away and let them become a complete stranger. They wouldn't mean anything to me anymore.

But I'd sleep pretty soundly knowing I didn't go out of my way to hurt anyone.

Steven Lopez19 said:Look at it this way...

Someone does something to you that really hurts you... then later on, you get the perfect chance to get even. Are you going to take it???

I wouldn't, because then I'd just be becoming exactly like them.

And I wouldn't go crawling back to them demanding they treat me better just because I was nice to them before... I'd just walk away and let them become a complete stranger. They wouldn't mean anything to me anymore.

But I'd sleep pretty soundly knowing I didn't go out of my way to hurt anyone.

We aren't even talking about the same thing, so I don't really follow you. If someone hurts me, I settle the score. But if they offer me kindness, I return it tenfold. It's simple math. Besides, I have no idea why you find me so fascinating, considering you and your crowd haven't exactly been anything but hostile toward me.😕
You know perfectly well we don't get along, yet here you are, popping up in every single one of my threads. What's the end game?😕

Look, my philosophy is pretty simple: if I give someone my heart, I expect them to show up and return the favor. That’s it. It’s not about being petty; it’s just that I have no interest in pouring energy into a void. I'm not some wide-eyed optimist who doesn't see what's happening right in front of her.
As for anyone who can't meet me halfway? They can take a hike and find somewhere else to be.
That's just how it is.

Alright, let's keep this going... At the end of the day, what actually matters is being honest with yourself and finding some peace with who you are. When you finally reach that point, you stop giving a damn about what every idiot thinks. But when you're insecure? That's when you're trapped, constantly worrying about every moron's opinion because you haven't learned to value yourself yet. That’s my little nugget of wisdom for the day. 🙂

I’ve cleared out a string of off-topic posts and petty arguments.
Please settle down and get back to the actual subject at hand.

Robert Murphy8 said:Look, my philosophy is pretty simple: if I give someone my heart, I expect them to show up and return the favor. That’s it. It’s not about being petty; it’s just that I have no interest in pouring energy into a void. I'm not some wide-eyed optimist who doesn't see what's happening right in front of her.
As for anyone who can't meet me halfway? They can take a hike and find somewhere else to be.
That's just how it is.

Don't be like that; that's a pretty cold way to look at things. With an attitude like yours, you're basically no different from all those "villains" people complain about. Why do you have to put a price tag on being kind?
Look, we're human beings. We have expectations. That's just how it works. People let you down constantly—you aren't going to go around throwing stones at everyone who fails you.

Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely no Mary Wollstonecraft.😬

hiddentrucker16 said:You always seem to find the silver lining in everything—it’s a lovely way to look at the world. You truly believe people are good; thank you for the frequent reminders of that perspective...

My therapist tells me that while we can't control our emotions, we can certainly change our mindset. I suppose that is a fundamental truth.
So, whenever I am feeling particularly low, I try my best not to spiral into thoughts like, "Oh, I'm just miserable, this is how it always is, life is terrible, and everyone is awful." Instead, I attempt to tell myself, "Today is just a bad day, tomorrow is a fresh start. I feel sad right now, but this won't last forever." I try to practice that every single day.
It isn't easy, but I guess we can only expect improvement from ourselves. 👍
And if we do that, I think other people will start to seem better to us too. 👍

James Allen6 said:My therapist tells me that while we can't control our emotions, we can certainly change our mindset. I suppose that is a fundamental truth.
So, whenever I am feeling particularly low, I try my best not to spiral into thoughts like, "Oh, I'm just miserable, this is how it always is, life is terrible, and everyone is awful." Instead, I attempt to tell myself, "Today is just a bad day, tomorrow is a fresh start. I feel sad right now, but this won't last forever." I try to practice that every single day.
It isn't easy, but I guess we can only expect improvement from ourselves. 👍
And if we do that, I think other people will start to seem better to us too. 👍

See, I’ve always found that whole "power of positive thinking" thing a bit grating—to be honest, I wasn't even sure if changing one's mindset was actually possible. If you don't believe it, you're essentially stuck in a deadlock... but somehow, you always manage to remind me that there's another way to look at things.

hiddentrucker16 said:See, I’ve always found that whole "power of positive thinking" thing a bit grating—to be honest, I wasn't even sure if changing one's mindset was actually possible. If you don't believe it, you're essentially stuck in a deadlock... but somehow, you always manage to remind me that there's another way to look at things.

Of course you can change your mind. We aren't born with opinions; we just spend our lives absorbing whatever nonsense our parents feed us until it becomes our own.
But maybe you can learn to think differently. After a while, those new perspectives might just stick.
I suppose you could head to a local library or pick up a book on positive philosophy to study a bit...
I guess everything can be learned. 🙂 😘

James Allen6 said:Of course you can change your mind. We aren't born with opinions; we just spend our lives absorbing whatever nonsense our parents feed us until it becomes our own.
But maybe you can learn to think differently. After a while, those new perspectives might just stick.
I suppose you could head to a local library or pick up a book on positive philosophy to study a bit...
I guess everything can be learned. 🙂 😘

Alright then—if you're so confident, why don't you suggest a specific little handbook on this "positive thinking" and the ability to shift one's mindset? If it actually comes from you, I might just consider reading it...😍 Well, I’ll give you a recommendation: read *The Drama of the Gifted Child* by Alice Miller—just be prepared for a bit of an emotional stomach ache.😁

hiddentrucker16 said:Alright then—if you're so confident, why don't you suggest a specific little handbook on this "positive thinking" and the ability to shift one's mindset? If it actually comes from you, I might just consider reading it...😍 Well, I’ll give you a recommendation: read *The Drama of the Gifted Child* by Alice Miller—just be prepared for a bit of an emotional stomach ache.😁

I am not entirely sure of the exact title, but perhaps check at a local library. They carry many interesting psychology texts. I think there is one titled *The Philosophy of Positive Thinking*.
Oh boy... I guess I will have to postpone that until a much less intense time.

Well, here I am, back on this thread again.😁 😁 People just aren't good—they're complete morons.😂 😂 Just felt the need to vent a little bit of my frustration toward the sheer stupidity of the human race—it’s honestly revolting... people are idiots, animals, manipulators, liars, hypocrites, selfishly obsessed with themselves, etc., etc... there. I feel slightly better now. I hate, hate, hate people...🙂 🎉 🎉

hiddentrucker16 said:Well, here I am, back on this thread again.😁 😁 People just aren't good—they're complete morons.😂 😂 Just felt the need to vent a little bit of my frustration toward the sheer stupidity of the human race—it’s honestly revolting... people are idiots, animals, manipulators, liars, hypocrites, selfishly obsessed with themselves, etc., etc... there. I feel slightly better now. I hate, hate, hate people...🙂 🎉 🎉

The human race is a corrupted breed—filthy and malicious! 😈

"When we are happy, we are always good, but when we are good, we are not always happy." - Shaw

hiddentrucker16 said:Well, here I am, back on this thread again.😁 😁 People just aren't good—they're complete morons.😂 😂 Just felt the need to vent a little bit of my frustration toward the sheer stupidity of the human race—it’s honestly revolting... people are idiots, animals, manipulators, liars, hypocrites, selfishly obsessed with themselves, etc., etc... there. I feel slightly better now. I hate, hate, hate people...🙂 🎉 🎉

I think you just threw a pretty nasty insult at animals there.😎

darknomad44 said:The human race is a corrupted breed—filthy and malicious! 😈

"When we are happy, we are always good, but when we are good, we are not always happy." - Shaw

Pretty well put. 👍