What is happening to me?

Casey Clark29 said:So, here’s the deal... I’ve been dealing with a speech impediment since I was six years old because of some intense anxiety, and honestly, I'm still struggling with it now at 22. I’ve tried seeing speech therapists and psychologists, but nothing really stuck because I lacked the patience—I just wanted everything to be fixed *right now*. As far as my family goes, I’m on the same page as my mom, but I have this deep-seated fear of my dad that I can’t even explain. That’s one big reason why I pull away from therapy; whenever that fear kicks in, I just shut down completely. It’s spiraled into being terrified of meeting new people, answering the phone, and a million other things. I feel terrible so often for pushing people away, but it’s an impulse I just can’t control. And lately, it feels like I’m constantly on the verge of tears every single day. There’s this heavy pressure building up inside me that just forces it out. I find myself hiding from everyone just so they won't see me crying. I can’t relax anywhere, period. Whether I’m just walking through downtown or hanging out somewhere, I always feel like I'm about to break down. It’s exhausting, and I have no idea how to get a handle on it. That’s basically the long and short of it. I’m usually pretty quiet because of my speech issues, but I’m hoping you guys get where I'm coming from. I’d love to hear what you think, and if anyone has actual advice on how to stop these constant tears... Thanks.

Just by putting this all out there, you’re already starting to face the music... seriously, don't stop now. I'm positive there's a way to work through this depression and eventually learn how to actually love yourself. 😘

Let me give you a heads-up on what happens if you just give up on yourself, based on someone I know who went through something almost identical to yours... I have a cousin who’s had a speech impediment since he was a kid. When we were little, like 5 to 9 years old, it wasn't really a big deal, but once puberty hit and kids at school and even the neighborhood bullies started relentlessly picking on him, he just totally retreated. He shut himself off and stopped hanging out with anyone at all.

He’s 30 now, he still has the speech issue, and he still doesn't go out or have a single friend to his name. He quit trying right at the start, and his parents didn't step up to give him the support or help he needed.

Look, if someone won't accept you exactly as you are, believe me, they aren't worth your time.

And I definitely recommend you keep writing everything down—even if it’s just a way to slowly chip away at that anxiety. You’ll always find someone here willing to listen, give you advice, or just offer some comfort.

You aren't alone in this, Casey Clark29! We're all right here if you need anything at all.. 👋

Don't let it get to you—just take a deep breath and relax.

I gotta say, you guys have been a huge help. I’ve actually started getting out there and socializing again. It was like a lightbulb moment—something just clicked inside me and now I'm finally functioning. Honestly, I owe it all to this group. If I hadn't found the guts to actually speak up about what I was going through, I’d probably still be a total hermit, shut off from the world. But hey, anything is possible if you actually want it. I’m still putting in the work because I believe in myself, and I know I can crush whatever obstacles come my way. kissic

mellowjackal33 said:I see you—sort of like one of those tiny sea anemones that pulls its tentacles in the second you touch it! 🙂

They gave you good advice: that "unexplained" crying is really just a backlog of unprocessed baggage.

And they were right about this too: you have to face it.

But what’s the catch? How is someone feeling as timid and shy as you are supposed to actually confront all that? It’s tough.

But—there’s hope.

Where does it come from?

Let's try flipping the script: instead of trying to tackle problems through pure logic, try moving through your emotions first.

Just sit with the pain, the shame, and the fear.

Then, hit that realization: you are JUST LIKE THE REST OF US. Everyone is "messed up" in their own way. The point isn't being perfect—it's accepting yourself exactly as you are right now.

Next time you're home alone, stand in front of the mirror and say everything you think about yourself out loud. Even the ugly stuff—doesn't matter!

Repeat it all, then take those harsh thoughts and "embrace" them as uniquely yours. That's part of who you are! You're worthy of love precisely because of it. Smile at yourself and everything you just said—learn to LOVE it.

That practice of self-love and acceptance is where joy starts to grow.

And once that joy shows up, you actually start changing—you finally have the "extra" energy needed to make those shifts.

WHY IS SELF-ACCEPTANCE SO HARD FOR PEOPLE?

Look—I’m asking you to find joy in yourself, no matter how messed up you feel. Once you do that, you'll be able to look anyone in the eye. There's no overthinking it or using "logic" here! You have to realize you are worthy simply because you exist.

Only after that will you have enough joy and fuel to change the things you don't like about yourself. NOT by fighting yourself with brute force, but specifically through joy and self-love. 🙂

Does that help?

Personally, I picture her as a snail pulling in its horns when someone gets too close.
Cute! 😘

Find yourself a guy who will love you even if you aren't the strongest person in the room. Most men just want to be the protector... 😍