Infidelity

And the second one happens to be married, too...

Thanks, everyone. Razgor actually helped me out! I think I might try redirecting all that sexual energy into my work... maybe it'll even lead to a raise or something, so I guess there's definitely some upside to all this...

Just shifting focus back to work isn't going to cut it,
because eventually, you're going to run into a woman who is just too tempting—and then, well, the chemistry takes over...
Hade, just imagine if your own girlfriend was faced with that kind of temptation and actually gave in...
If she walked out and cheated on you, how would that truly make you feel?
Or better yet, what if she didn't go, despite all that attraction and desire? How would you feel then?
Look, you need to be brutally honest with yourself here,
because this isn't really about the sex,
it’s about whether there is fundamental trust and respect within the relationship.

Chris Peterson53 said:Just shifting focus back to work isn't going to cut it,
because eventually, you're going to run into a woman who is just too tempting—and then, well, the chemistry takes over...
Hade, just imagine if your own girlfriend was faced with that kind of temptation and actually gave in...
If she walked out and cheated on you, how would that truly make you feel?
Or better yet, what if she didn't go, despite all that attraction and desire? How would you feel then?
Look, you need to be brutally honest with yourself here,
because this isn't really about the sex,
it’s about whether there is fundamental trust and respect within the relationship.

If she told me she just couldn't help herself, that someone was incredibly magnetic and it was nothing more than a physical fling, and that she still loves me and wants to be with me, I guess I'd say okay. If she told me she fell in love with someone else and wanted to leave, I'd say okay too. If she said she fell in love but didn't know what to do, maybe I'd suggest she wait and try my best to show her that I still matter more to her than this other person. That's all just theoretical, obviously, since I haven't dealt with anything like that, but I think that's how I'd handle it. It feels like it would be pretty hypocritical to indulge my own urges while telling her she can't have hers. Sure, my feelings would be hurt, I'm sure, but I don't think I'd make a huge deal out of it if it was just about sex.

Go all in on the connection; don't hold anything back. And whatever you do, don't confess a single thing to anyone. What stays unspoken simply never happened.

I think I’m gonna pass, honestly... maybe I’ll spend a few minutes mulling it over, but then it usually hits me that why on earth would I risk something awesome that I already have in my hands?

Dana Gray84 said:I think I’m gonna pass, honestly... maybe I’ll spend a few minutes mulling it over, but then it usually hits me that why on earth would I risk something awesome that I already have in my hands?

If that's the case, why even bother with the dilemma?

brighteagle39 said:If that's the case, why even bother with the dilemma?

A dilemma is just a dilemma, you know? You’ve got your options—to go or not to go—and honestly, you just pick whichever one feels right in the moment and call it a day... whether it turns out to be a brilliant move or a total disaster later on doesn't really matter right now, does it?

Dana Gray84 said:A dilemma is just a dilemma, you know? You’ve got your options—to go or not to go—and honestly, you just pick whichever one feels right in the moment and call it a day... whether it turns out to be a brilliant move or a total disaster later on doesn't really matter right now, does it?

The reality is, you'll never truly know if you missed out on something special because you chose to stick with what you already have.

brighteagle39 said:The reality is, you'll never truly know if you missed out on something special because you chose to stick with what you already have.

Well, I guess it all depends on which angle you're looking at this from...
See, even the stuff you currently hold can be taken away from you. If this whole situation ends up costing me what I already have, then yeah, I definitely missed out on something better... but if everything just stays exactly the way it is, then I'm not really winning big, but I'm not losing anything either, I suppose...

Anthony Sanders53 said:I don't really get it... how can she be mad if she doesn't even know what happened?

I guess it isn't about knowing things. Maybe she's just upset because I'm turning her down, since I have a girlfriend. In my experience, people usually know what's going on. That’s probably why I deal with some resentment; I tend to see right through people, almost like a mirror reflecting their own mess back at them.

Dana Gray84 said:Well, I guess it all depends on which angle you're looking at this from...
See, even the stuff you currently hold can be taken away from you. If this whole situation ends up costing me what I already have, then yeah, I definitely missed out on something better... but if everything just stays exactly the way it is, then I'm not really winning big, but I'm not losing anything either, I suppose...

That’s just how life works; you can't have your cake and eat it too.

Anonymous said:Who gives a damn?

👍

I would have gone just to get some closure. I went through something almost identical. He was incredible—the kind of guy who looked at you with pure devotion, practically worshiping the ground you walked on. And I gave him everything in return. Every look, every moment, it was perfect. But then, I started obsessing. He became this figure in my head, woven into every dream and fantasy I had. It got so intense that whenever I’d catch a glimpse of him, I’d actually feel sick to my stomach from the sheer anticipation. Eventually, he reached out to meet up. I turned him down at first, which led to this agonizing period of longing and madness. He kept calling, and I kept spiraling, building him up in my mind until he was larger than life. Finally, I snapped, we met, and you know what? The reality wasn't exactly a fairy tale. It turns out it's not worth chasing something just because it looks better from a distance. It’s a double-edged sword, really. We all have this endless urge to covet the neighbor's lawn, but once you accept that reality, things get a lot easier. Good luck.

In all those various options you just listed, you didn't actually include "just go for it and don't look back," which means you already know exactly what the answer is.

Since you seem so intent on complaining about everything... why not just pick an option, commit to it wholeheartedly, and let the rest of it go?

brighteagle39 said:Go all in on the connection; don't hold anything back. And whatever you do, don't confess a single thing to anyone. What stays unspoken simply never happened.

haha. fair enough.