Is everything in life just a matter of choice?

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard people claim that achieving anything in life—whether you’re aiming to drop some weight, kick the smoking habit, or climb the corporate ladder to become the CEO of a major firm like JPMorgan Chase—is strictly a matter of willpower and making a choice.

Honestly, it used to sound incredibly naive to me, but as I get older, I find myself nodding along because it feels more true every single day! I’m curious, what’s your take on all this?

It really feels like if we didn't succeed at something, it's just because we never truly committed to the decision in the first place, which basically means we never actually gave it our all. If you had made a real, firm decision, wouldn't you have fully embraced the challenge and actually followed through?

The reason I'm even bringing this up is that I’ve been reflecting on how much more decisive I was when I was a kid, and looking back, those results were so much better! Now, I feel like I'm entering a phase where I realize so much of my life depends entirely on whether or not I simply decide to make it happen.

I am just so tired of all the constant complaining—you know, the "I can't do this" or "I can't stick to my diet" excuses... honestly, you can do anything! It all just comes down to whether you're willing to sacrifice one thing to gain another, right?

Yeah, you hit the nail on the head 😉

wiredrider2 said:I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard people claim that achieving anything in life—whether you’re aiming to drop some weight, kick the smoking habit, or climb the corporate ladder to become the CEO of a major firm like JPMorgan Chase—is strictly a matter of willpower and making a choice.

Honestly, it used to sound incredibly naive to me, but as I get older, I find myself nodding along because it feels more true every single day! I’m curious, what’s your take on all this?

It really feels like if we didn't succeed at something, it's just because we never truly committed to the decision in the first place, which basically means we never actually gave it our all. If you had made a real, firm decision, wouldn't you have fully embraced the challenge and actually followed through?

The reason I'm even bringing this up is that I’ve been reflecting on how much more decisive I was when I was a kid, and looking back, those results were so much better! Now, I feel like I'm entering a phase where I realize so much of my life depends entirely on whether or not I simply decide to make it happen.

I am just so tired of all the constant complaining—you know, the "I can't do this" or "I can't stick to my diet" excuses... honestly, you can do anything! It all just comes down to whether you're willing to sacrifice one thing to gain another, right?

You hit the nail on the head. It’s a universal truth, really, but actually following through requires a level of willpower most people just don't possess. Most folks simply lack the backbone to stick to their guns once the initial motivation fades.

wiredrider2 said:I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard people claim that achieving anything in life—whether you’re aiming to drop some weight, kick the smoking habit, or climb the corporate ladder to become the CEO of a major firm like JPMorgan Chase—is strictly a matter of willpower and making a choice.

Honestly, it used to sound incredibly naive to me, but as I get older, I find myself nodding along because it feels more true every single day! I’m curious, what’s your take on all this?

It really feels like if we didn't succeed at something, it's just because we never truly committed to the decision in the first place, which basically means we never actually gave it our all. If you had made a real, firm decision, wouldn't you have fully embraced the challenge and actually followed through?

The reason I'm even bringing this up is that I’ve been reflecting on how much more decisive I was when I was a kid, and looking back, those results were so much better! Now, I feel like I'm entering a phase where I realize so much of my life depends entirely on whether or not I simply decide to make it happen.

I am just so tired of all the constant complaining—you know, the "I can't do this" or "I can't stick to my diet" excuses... honestly, you can do anything! It all just comes down to whether you're willing to sacrifice one thing to gain another, right?

And frankly, I'm at a loss here—I'm genuinely curious about that too... this inability to find clarity or actually manifest any desires is driving me mad. Everything is just a blur to me; I don't understand myself, I don't know what I want, and consequently, I can't make a single decision...
I suppose—well, I don't just think it, I *know* it—that if there were something I truly, deeply desired, there wouldn't be a force on this earth capable of stopping me. But since I lack that certainty, I suppose I'm just drifting wherever the wind happens to blow.

jez said:—I’d probably add a bit of nuance to that... I know plenty of people who are absolutely crushing it in life, and then there are the total losers... heh.

As for me,😂 there really isn't any point in asking which category I fall into🙏...

wiredrider2 said:I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard people claim that achieving anything in life—whether you’re aiming to drop some weight, kick the smoking habit, or climb the corporate ladder to become the CEO of a major firm like JPMorgan Chase—is strictly a matter of willpower and making a choice.

Honestly, it used to sound incredibly naive to me, but as I get older, I find myself nodding along because it feels more true every single day! I’m curious, what’s your take on all this?

It really feels like if we didn't succeed at something, it's just because we never truly committed to the decision in the first place, which basically means we never actually gave it our all. If you had made a real, firm decision, wouldn't you have fully embraced the challenge and actually followed through?

The reason I'm even bringing this up is that I’ve been reflecting on how much more decisive I was when I was a kid, and looking back, those results were so much better! Now, I feel like I'm entering a phase where I realize so much of my life depends entirely on whether or not I simply decide to make it happen.

I am just so tired of all the constant complaining—you know, the "I can't do this" or "I can't stick to my diet" excuses... honestly, you can do anything! It all just comes down to whether you're willing to sacrifice one thing to gain another, right?

I don't think that is quite right. There are certain realities that, while not insurmountable obstacles, can significantly ease or hinder someone's ability to follow through on a decision. Besides, nobody is perfect, and no one possesses the maximum level of willpower required to stay focused until they become a bank CEO.
I achieved my own success thanks to specific circumstances and curiosity. Because of that, I messed up many other things. That is just how it goes, I guess. It wasn't really my decision at all.

It feels to me like if you didn't succeed, you never actually made a serious decision, which means you didn't truly put in the effort. If you had made a serious decision, you would have seriously committed to it, wouldn't you? And probably realized it too?

Maybe I simply didn't have the strength to make it happen? You can try to wish a semi-truck to the top of a mountain pass, but if you are out of gas, you are out of luck.

The reason I am bringing this up now is that it feels like I had much more determination (and therefore better results) when I was a child. Now, I am entering a phase where it feels like a huge amount of things depend solely on whether I decide to do them or not.

I am tired of all this whining: I can't do this, I can't do that, I can't stick to a diet, blah blah... you can do anything! You just have to sacrifice something to get something else. Right?

Do you want us to validate your opinion? You seem somewhat insecure to me.
Well, it is fine by me. Insecurity is human, and I find discrimination based on that—something women tend to do to each other—particularly distasteful, and I hold people accountable for it.
So, it is all fine. Just move forward.

Honestly, making the call isn't even the hard part. Getting the ball rolling? That's easy too. It’s the staying power that gets you...😬

Donna Campbell6 said:Honestly, making the call isn't even the hard part. Getting the ball rolling? That's easy too. It’s the staying power that gets you...😬

That's true. People call it willpower or persistence, or maybe something else.
I guess even smokers, heavy drinkers, or people struggling with addiction often decide they want to quit. But... it doesn't always work out for them. Even when the circumstances aren't the issue, they still can't seem to break through that internal barrier.

Brian Moore2 said:Yeah, you hit the nail on the head 😉

So what exactly am I deciding, No123? Everything? I guess I've decided everything and I'm still deciding everything else too. My ass. The only thing I can actually decide is who I'm going to sleep with.

Sandra Thompson3 said:So what exactly am I deciding, No123? Everything? I guess I've decided everything and I'm still deciding everything else too. My ass. The only thing I can actually decide is who I'm going to sleep with.

I guess you can't even decide that. Maybe the other person wonders the same thing. Period.

Douglas Brown4 said:I guess you can't even decide that. Maybe the other person wonders the same thing. Period.

You're right, I guess. At the end of the day, it's my call.

Sandra Thompson3 said:You're right, I guess. At the end of the day, it's my call.

It isn't just you. Both sides are asking questions.

Douglas Brown4 said:It isn't just you. Both sides are asking questions.

Yeah, right. Like hell.

Decision and autosuggestion. You can't expect success without visualization.
The date matters too. Seriously.
Every single day, you tell yourself what you want while looking in the mirror.
Setting a deadline and knowing exactly what you're after is vital. Repeat it constantly. They say once you do, your subconscious starts working on the solution itself.

wiredrider2 said:I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard people claim that achieving anything in life—whether you’re aiming to drop some weight, kick the smoking habit, or climb the corporate ladder to become the CEO of a major firm like JPMorgan Chase—is strictly a matter of willpower and making a choice.

Honestly, it used to sound incredibly naive to me, but as I get older, I find myself nodding along because it feels more true every single day! I’m curious, what’s your take on all this?

It really feels like if we didn't succeed at something, it's just because we never truly committed to the decision in the first place, which basically means we never actually gave it our all. If you had made a real, firm decision, wouldn't you have fully embraced the challenge and actually followed through?

The reason I'm even bringing this up is that I’ve been reflecting on how much more decisive I was when I was a kid, and looking back, those results were so much better! Now, I feel like I'm entering a phase where I realize so much of my life depends entirely on whether or not I simply decide to make it happen.

I am just so tired of all the constant complaining—you know, the "I can't do this" or "I can't stick to my diet" excuses... honestly, you can do anything! It all just comes down to whether you're willing to sacrifice one thing to gain another, right?

I think you hit the nail on the head.
Someone once told me that if you run out of gas halfway up a mountain road, you can stare at the summit all you want, but it won't get you there. You have to be willing to hike back down to the nearest Shell station, walk back to your car, and solve the problem. Once you do that, the summit is finally within reach.

brighteagle39 said:I think you hit the nail on the head.
Someone once told me that if you run out of gas halfway up a mountain road, you can stare at the summit all you want, but it won't get you there. You have to be willing to hike back down to the nearest Shell station, walk back to your car, and solve the problem. Once you do that, the summit is finally within reach.

Of course. Every problem has a solution. It’s just that some solutions might require more time than we actually have left in our lives.
Sure, you could trek 60 miles to the nearest Shell station, beg someone to haul 50 gallons of diesel out to your truck (unless you plan on carrying it yourself?), and then somehow winch the whole rig up the incline. If you really wanted to.

Theoretically, I guess you could even try using a hand jack to inch it up, bit by bit.

wiredrider2 said:I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard people claim that achieving anything in life—whether you’re aiming to drop some weight, kick the smoking habit, or climb the corporate ladder to become the CEO of a major firm like JPMorgan Chase—is strictly a matter of willpower and making a choice.

Honestly, it used to sound incredibly naive to me, but as I get older, I find myself nodding along because it feels more true every single day! I’m curious, what’s your take on all this?

It really feels like if we didn't succeed at something, it's just because we never truly committed to the decision in the first place, which basically means we never actually gave it our all. If you had made a real, firm decision, wouldn't you have fully embraced the challenge and actually followed through?

The reason I'm even bringing this up is that I’ve been reflecting on how much more decisive I was when I was a kid, and looking back, those results were so much better! Now, I feel like I'm entering a phase where I realize so much of my life depends entirely on whether or not I simply decide to make it happen.

I am just so tired of all the constant complaining—you know, the "I can't do this" or "I can't stick to my diet" excuses... honestly, you can do anything! It all just comes down to whether you're willing to sacrifice one thing to gain another, right?

Well, I’ve certainly picked up my fair share of theories and unsolicited advice over the years too... 🙄 Now, you’ve laid out three very different scenarios here; losing weight and quitting smoking—if those are truly your priorities, then yes, you’ll likely succeed, provided you actually make the choice to start trying.
But that last one, "becoming the CEO of a big bank"... that’s a different beast entirely. Unless you're already a couple of rungs up that ladder, which implies you've already established yourself as someone of significant influence and status... well, just making a decision isn't going to bridge that gap if, say, you're currently working as a high school history teacher.

I honestly think it works that way—if you actually take the time to visualize what you're aiming for, you end up pulling yourself closer to it. Not that I’m talking about some crazy, delusional stuff, though...

Christian Doyle3 said:I honestly think it works that way—if you actually take the time to visualize what you're aiming for, you end up pulling yourself closer to it. Not that I’m talking about some crazy, delusional stuff, though...

If that visualization thing actually works, then I’m probably manifesting all the negative stuff too—dammit, I can barely manage to visualize anything other than complete nonsense... my head is just constantly cluttered with it.😳

electricbadger82 said:Decision and autosuggestion. You can't expect success without visualization.
The date matters too. Seriously.
Every single day, you tell yourself what you want while looking in the mirror.
Setting a deadline and knowing exactly what you're after is vital. Repeat it constantly. They say once you do, your subconscious starts working on the solution itself.

Have you ever actually tried doing this in real life?