How to change someone's mind (or worldview)...

How do you actually shift someone's perspective when they refuse to listen to reason?

Or, put another way, what kind of evidence would it take to make *you* rethink your entire worldview?
(And I mean regardless of where you stand—whether it's religion versus atheism, being a vegan versus a meat-eater, or even smoker versus non-smoker.
)
Is there truly anything capable of triggering a radical shift in how you see the world? Because if the answer is "no," how can we honestly expect anyone else to change their mind?

Honestly, I don't think I’d ever budge on an opinion just because someone gave me a lecture about it—I mean, really, what's the point? It’s not about being stubborn, it’s just that nothing actually sticks unless you go through it yourself. You need that real-world experience to hit you, that "aha!" moment where you realize, okay, I was wrong all along. Just talking in circles doesn't change a thing; you have to live it to believe it.

Rebecca Cox2 said:Is there actually anything out there capable of forcing you to completely overhaul your worldview? And if the answer is NO, how on earth can you expect anyone else to change?

A serious illness RADICALLY shifts who we are, and naturally, that changes how we see everything.
Especially when you actually pull through and make it to the other side.🙏

wearyowl29 said:Illness RADICALLY reshapes who we are and how we see the world.
Especially when you manage to pull through.🙏

I completely agree with you. 👍

There is an old saying: only a fool or a dead man refuses to change his mind.

Rebecca Cox2 said:Is there actually anything that could ever force you to radically shift your entire worldview?

I think most people really need those heavy-hitting, lived experiences to trigger a total overhaul of how they see the world... whether it’s facing a major health crisis, some sort of traumatic life event, or just that sudden, jarring moment where everything finally clicks in your brain... without those kinds of massive external pressures, it's pretty rare to see someone actually pivot their core beliefs.
But then again, I suppose it can also come down to how open a person is to growth and their genuine desire to make life a little easier on themselves... For me, personally, I grew up in this incredibly strict household where freedom was basically non-existent and rules were everywhere... but when I met my husband and got to know his family, I was honestly floored by how relaxed and easygoing they all were compared to what I knew... seeing how much more "mentally light" they lived made me realize I wanted that too, so over the years, I’ve gradually shed a lot of my old perspectives and adopted the things that just seemed healthier and better for my well-being.
It’s a shame, really, because my parents haven't changed one bit and the gap between our ways of thinking feels huge sometimes... but the silver lining is that it doesn't eat away at me anymore, because I've eventually realized that everyone is the architect of their own happiness, and ultimately, it's entirely up to the individual if they want to evolve or stay stuck in their ways...

That's actually against the rules😂 😂 😂

They say it’s vital—maybe even the most important factor of all—where your arguments are actually coming from.

It’s pretty obvious that a believer is going to lean toward the Pope’s arguments on spiritual matters rather than listening to some atheist, isn't it?
Is it better to take dietary advice from some self-proclaimed wellness guru preaching vegetarianism, or should you listen to a hardcore carnivore who considers himself a true gourmet? Does it even matter which one you follow if they're both just selling you a version of reality?
When you inject a bit of personal skin in the game—that raw, subjective connection to a topic—everything changes, doesn't it? Suddenly, you aren't just debating abstract ideas; you're navigating the sheer exhaustion of trying to shift someone else's perspective, all while weighing the potential fallout of changing your own mind. You have to ask yourself if the shift in reputation, whether you gain respect for being flexible or lose it by being seen as inconsistent, is actually worth the effort.
There are as many ways to get what you want as there are people in this country. It’s all laid out in Robert Frost's *Influence*, if you bother to look.

Jonathan Hernandez4 said:They say it’s incredibly important—if not the most vital factor—to consider who is actually delivering the arguments.

It isn't just a theory, either. It’s blatantly obvious in social experiments where participants interact with someone designed to either agree or disagree with them. When a subject is praised for being brilliant or told their ideas are foolish, their perception shifts instantly. In studies where people were asked to rate the intelligence of an interlocutor (who was simply following experimental protocols), almost everyone rated the person who agreed with them or validated their views as smarter, more capable, or kinder, regardless of the actual topic being discussed.

It’s essentially "preaching to the choir."

The real issue? When it comes to serious, high-stakes matters, you can't solve anything by simply presenting facts if you haven't first won over the person listening.

How do you even begin to talk sense to someone dealing with a severe case of bipolar disorder? It’s such a heavy diagnosis to navigate. They just flat-out refuse to listen to anything I say, and honestly, it’s starting to take a massive toll on me. I'm struggling to figure out how to approach this without making things worse. UPOMOĆ

Rebecca Cox2 said:Is there actually anything in this world capable of forcing you to radically shift your entire worldview? Because if the answer is NO, how on earth can you expect anyone else to change their mind?

You basically just took the words right out of my mouth...
Looking at everyday life, and especially the way people act here on this forum, human reasoning seems incredibly bipolar. It’s always one extreme or the other—you’re either all-in for the President or the CEO, or you’re completely against them. You're either pro-steak or anti-meat. There is almost nobody left who is moderate or even willing to sit down, listen, and actually process an opposing argument...
It feels like it’s always been this way, too. Reformers, scientists, plantation owners, conservatives... they all emerge with clearly defined enemies ready to fight.
So, I really want to know: is this just hardwired into our DNA, or is this tribalism something we've built up over time as our primary way of communicating?

At first, I honestly couldn't wrap my head around how she was treating me. The constant silent treatment? It drove me absolutely insane. But looking back, the real issue isn't just my feelings—it's that I'm genuinely worried about the people around me. She’s already gotten physical with me a few times, and in those moments, bystanders ended up getting hurt just trying to step in and stop her from attacking me with a broken bottle. Next time, she might just run us both over with her car. She lives only two blocks away from my place, so avoiding her is nearly impossible. Since she refuses to make amends (or maybe she just can't), it feels like my only real option is to pack up and move. On top of all that, she spends her time making me look like some kind of total psycho or a stalker whenever we're out with our group of friends.

Rebecca Cox2 said:It isn't just a theory; it’s blatantly obvious in experiments where people debate someone who either agrees with them or disagrees. When subjects praise their interlocutor for being brilliant—or tell them they're being stupid—those same people then rate the other person's intelligence. Even when the person they are talking to was just an actor following specific instructions for the study, the result is almost always the same: nearly everyone rates the person who validates them, tells them what they want to hear, or agrees with their stance as smarter, more intelligent, or kinder, regardless of the actual topic being discussed...

That's basically just preaching to the choir.

The real issue is that when it comes to serious matters, you can't solve anything just by throwing out arguments...

I've been reading through this thread and I'm starting to realize I'm surrounded by idiots🙄

The only thing I'm unsure about is whether you all would actually agree with me.🤣

😬 😍

Rebecca Cox2 said:How do you actually change someone's mind if they just refuse to listen to reason?

Look, we've all been there. If being nice isn't working, you just have to lay it out straight—tell them they're being dense while you're clearly the smart one. Just look at how things work here on this forum. If they won't just swallow your views whole, then you've got to tear their logic apart.🙂

Rebecca Cox2 said:Is there actually anything that could ever force you to radically shift your worldview? And if the answer is NO, how can you honestly expect anyone else to do it?

Alright, let me give you a real answer. Any solid argument is worth weighing. Personally, I’d pivot my entire stance in a heartbeat if I concluded someone else had a better point than mine. There’s no shame in that. For me, it’s just basic survival—trying to get better rather than clinging to my ego and remaining the same old fool I am today.

Rachel Martinez11 said:All jokes aside, here is my actual take—any solid argument deserves a look. I’d pivot my stance in a heartbeat if someone proved me wrong. There’s no shame in that. For me, it’s just common sense to strive for growth rather than clinging to being an idiot just to protect my ego.

🙂 , well, I’ve had similar thoughts "it's natural to try to be better" which actually led me to convert to Islam.

Here is some actual science on the subject—not how to be a Muslim 😁 , but about how people change their minds.

LINK

By the way, I think this 😬Walt Whitman🤣 scientist is just acting like a know-it-all. Who knows, maybe I'll change my mind about him too, provided I find out I'm actually wrong.

*Acting like something—constructing an image... it can also mean metaphorically pretending to be something you aren't 🙂🙂🙂, which is cute if you're under six years old.

Just be kind! 🙂

What a great topic—definitely feels right at home here on this forum... personally, I’d say online forums have actually shifted my perspective quite a bit... I mean, if you happen to stumble upon a group where people are actually intelligent, energetic, and genuinely passionate about what they're saying... then yeah, anything is possible.

THANKS, YOU WERE A TOTAL LIFESAVER!!

Rebecca Cox2 said:How do you actually change someone's mind when they refuse to listen to logic?

By ditching arguments altogether and leaning into some good old-fashioned demagoguery. =)

Elizabeth Ruiz65 said:they're just using empty rhetoric because they have no actual arguments =)

Could you walk me through that a bit? I'd love some clarity.

Prove that what you want them to become is actually a good thing. But you're gonna have to set a seriously high bar yourself. It’s basically like how parents or whoever act around a kid—that child is just gonna end up acting the exact same way

Superskeptik said:How do you change someone's mind if they simply refuse to accept arguments?

I find myself asking that quite often, especially in trivial situations—like when someone insists a sentence shouldn't start with a capital letter. 😁 It is one thing if someone wants to believe their own rules in private, but it becomes a problem when they step out into the world and try to convince everyone else that their incorrect view is right, often finding allies among those who lack critical thinking skills. 😱 I have encountered many absurd moments where even appealing to authority, such as citing the Chicago Manual of Style 😁, proves useless, leaving one with no choice but to stay silent and let the other person feel like they "won." These situations are incredibly frustrating, and I haven't yet found a way to convince someone of obvious, provable facts when they are determined to ignore them. 😢 I try to avoid such people, though sometimes they don't avoid me. 😬

Quincy:

Alternatively, what specific arguments would lead you to change your worldview? (regardless of whether you are an atheist/believer/agnostic, vegetarian/meat-eater/vegan, smoker/non-smoker, etc.)

That is a much simpler question. 🙂 Regarding matters I am absolutely certain about—for instance, if I were a non-smoker deciding to become a smoker—no one could persuade me to change my choice. However, for things I am uncertain about, a reasonable, rational, logical, intelligent, and non-aggressive conversationalist could certainly prompt me to consider their ideas. That doesn't mean I will adopt them; the final decision remains entirely mine.

Quincy:

Is there anything at all that would cause you to radically change your worldview?

Yes, if I discovered that certain beliefs or behaviors were actually harming me, or if I simply realized I was wrong.

Quincy:

And if the answer is NO, how can you expect anyone else to do so?

I rarely engage in that kind of mental exercise. I lack both the patience and the desire to convince others to change their views, except in cases like the grammar example mentioned earlier. Those minor things truly drive me crazy. 😁I’m sure the issue lies with me, but I just can't seem to pinpoint what it is. 😬