Schizophrenia - General Discussion

Larry Lewis said:The bio was actually decent—enough to land me another hundred bucks worth of therapy sessions☕

Empty?

David Vaughn75 said:Empty?

Yeah, Seroquel

Everyone keeps preaching about how Seroquel is some kind of miracle drug... like it’s got the fewest side effects out there

David Vaughn75 said:Everyone keeps preaching about how Seroquel is some kind of miracle drug... like it’s got the fewest side effects out there

Who actually says that? Seriously, who?!🤷
Seroquel actually has a pretty terrible reputation specifically because of its side effects. Honestly, there are much better alternatives out there, like Q-pin or Loquen....☕

Well, look, I've got people actually taking this stuff telling me firsthand.

You really think being sleepy is some kind of freak side effect? Please. Every single antipsychotic on the market knocks you out if you take it.

Kevin Nguyen3 said:Who actually says that? Seriously, who?!🤷
Seroquel actually has a pretty terrible reputation specifically because of its side effects. Honestly, there are much better alternatives out there, like Q-pin or Loquen....☕

Sure. Low blood pressure and night terrors aren't exactly the dream scenario. Honestly, switching over to Rispolept has been a massive improvement. ☕

I thought I’d switch things up for a moment... while I could certainly dive into a discussion about medications, what I really want to talk about is how the negative symptoms have been absolutely washing over me these past couple of weeks. It feels like I'm just retreating further into myself and my own dark thoughts; I struggle with this heavy sense of worthlessness, and whenever I actually need to get something done, my brain just shuts down—I end up just staring blankly at the floor, lost in thought. Unlike a lot of other people dealing with schizophrenia, I feel like this was always part of my makeup, even back in early childhood. I started withdrawing into my own little world when I was just a kid, whereas most of my peers seemed to be functioning pretty normally before they were diagnosed. Because of that, it feels more like a slow, creeping progression for me, which makes me wonder if there's even much that can be changed at this point. I suppose I’d love for someone to try and convince me otherwise, but honestly, I'm feeling pretty pessimistic about how well I'll ever be able to function in society again.

Harold Anderson3 said:I thought I’d switch things up for a moment... while I could certainly dive into a discussion about medications, what I really want to talk about is how the negative symptoms have been absolutely washing over me these past couple of weeks. It feels like I'm just retreating further into myself and my own dark thoughts; I struggle with this heavy sense of worthlessness, and whenever I actually need to get something done, my brain just shuts down—I end up just staring blankly at the floor, lost in thought. Unlike a lot of other people dealing with schizophrenia, I feel like this was always part of my makeup, even back in early childhood. I started withdrawing into my own little world when I was just a kid, whereas most of my peers seemed to be functioning pretty normally before they were diagnosed. Because of that, it feels more like a slow, creeping progression for me, which makes me wonder if there's even much that can be changed at this point. I suppose I’d love for someone to try and convince me otherwise, but honestly, I'm feeling pretty pessimistic about how well I'll ever be able to function in society again.

You’re the expert on your own mind. Just try to work through that darkness on your own terms, and don't let it make you second-guess yourself during those moments when you actually feel okay. 👍

Harold Anderson3 said:I thought I’d switch things up for a moment... while I could certainly dive into a discussion about medications, what I really want to talk about is how the negative symptoms have been absolutely washing over me these past couple of weeks. It feels like I'm just retreating further into myself and my own dark thoughts; I struggle with this heavy sense of worthlessness, and whenever I actually need to get something done, my brain just shuts down—I end up just staring blankly at the floor, lost in thought. Unlike a lot of other people dealing with schizophrenia, I feel like this was always part of my makeup, even back in early childhood. I started withdrawing into my own little world when I was just a kid, whereas most of my peers seemed to be functioning pretty normally before they were diagnosed. Because of that, it feels more like a slow, creeping progression for me, which makes me wonder if there's even much that can be changed at this point. I suppose I’d love for someone to try and convince me otherwise, but honestly, I'm feeling pretty pessimistic about how well I'll ever be able to function in society again.

Once you decide to spiral into the negative, there isn't a soul on this planet who can talk you out of it. 😉 So, just try to lean into the positive for once. 👍

Noah Garcia4 said:Sure. Low blood pressure and night terrors aren't exactly the dream scenario. Honestly, switching over to Rispolept has been a massive improvement. ☕

Oh yeah, real great... seriously. I took that stuff once and my head literally twisted 180 degrees—I’m not even kidding. I actually had to go get an injection of Cogentin just to get my neck to snap back into place properly. 👎

I suppose one might wonder how it is even possible to decide to maintain a positive outlook when you are gripped by such a profound sense of misery. This feeling isn't something rational that you can simply reason away; it is an immutable state of being, an internal reality that exists regardless of logic. If it were actually within anyone's power to simply choose happiness and decide to feel good on command, life would be significantly less complicated. In such a hypothetical world, I imagine we wouldn't have any need for medications, controlled substances, psychotherapy, or all those other various interventions used to make people feel slightly more tolerable.
When your brain's reward centers are essentially numbed by medication, it seems almost inevitable that a person would end up feeling utterly wretched.

ruggedtinker9 said:I suppose one might wonder how it is even possible to decide to maintain a positive outlook when you are gripped by such a profound sense of misery. This feeling isn't something rational that you can simply reason away; it is an immutable state of being, an internal reality that exists regardless of logic. If it were actually within anyone's power to simply choose happiness and decide to feel good on command, life would be significantly less complicated. In such a hypothetical world, I imagine we wouldn't have any need for medications, controlled substances, psychotherapy, or all those other various interventions used to make people feel slightly more tolerable.
When your brain's reward centers are essentially numbed by medication, it seems almost inevitable that a person would end up feeling utterly wretched.

It’s possible that everything stems from a decision, but it happens on such an unconscious level. Nobody actually wants to be depressed. I grew up living with an incredibly high-strung, strict person who used to hit me and spent my entire childhood telling me I was useless. I don't live with her anymore, but I still find myself telling myself that I'm incompetent and worthless. It feels like I fell down as a child because of it, and I just haven't been able to get back up. I haven't always been successful at my jobs either, and I constantly find myself dwelling on those negative moments. Even medication can't fix everything, and honestly, it feels like therapy might not either... everything feels like such a struggle, and it's all so tangled up in my head. Does anyone else feel this way?

Harold Anderson3, I find myself feeling remarkably similar to you. I was always hyperactive—constantly traveling, absorbing massive amounts of information, always working on something; I truly believed the sky was the limit, as the cliché goes. But then life hit me hard; I suppose I actually sabotaged myself, and suddenly I lost my grip due to an overwhelming amount of fear regarding my own survival. I snapped the first time, managed to pull myself together, then snapped a second time, recovered quickly, and then that third time... I broke harder than ever before. I had just landed the career I had always dreamed of, only to lose that job, lose certain friends, and lose all motivation and willpower. Since I spend quite a bit of time at home and am not particularly social lately, my social skills have deteriorated, as has my self-confidence. However, I have come to realize a few things—looking back at the past is somewhat like staring into a deep well. You cannot go inside; you can only fall in, or you can draw water from it. And that water represents life. Therefore, one should view the past as a reservoir of experience that serves as your water. You might realize that you are strong simply because you have endured all of this, and perhaps the suffering you are experiencing is actually a positive thing, because those who have had nothing but perfection in their lives are completely unprepared when they eventually encounter a situation like this. They don't understand suffering until it finds them. Take some time for yourself and consider what the best course of action might be. What do you know how to do that makes you feel good and helps you forget the pain? What successfully distracts you and captures your interest? For me, that abyss often opens up—that feeling that life is empty and we are merely here to suffer. But do you know why we suffer? I guess we suffer because we live in ignorance. Yet, this isn't the kind of knowledge you learn from a textbook; it is self-knowledge. Once we realize that everyone is essentially a miniature universe unto themselves, things might become easier. Because you are your own universe, and everyone living today will one day be dead. They will never even realize they once lived. Everything is painful—birth, life, death. Pain is the very thing that strengthens us; when something hurts, it is a sign that you are growing. Much like a muscle, when you exercise it, it aches, but it aches precisely because it is growing. Accept the pain as a reminder that you are alive, just for a little while longer. We are often presented with these imposed images of how life ought to look, but the magic lies in the fact that everyone's life looks entirely different. What lies within our subconscious is a struggle for power; we want to be powerful, valued, respected, loved. But that is actually a negative pursuit, whereas suffering is positive. If you think about it for a while, you might realize this.

ruggedtinker9 said:Harold Anderson3, I find myself feeling remarkably similar to you. I was always hyperactive—constantly traveling, absorbing massive amounts of information, always working on something; I truly believed the sky was the limit, as the cliché goes. But then life hit me hard; I suppose I actually sabotaged myself, and suddenly I lost my grip due to an overwhelming amount of fear regarding my own survival. I snapped the first time, managed to pull myself together, then snapped a second time, recovered quickly, and then that third time... I broke harder than ever before. I had just landed the career I had always dreamed of, only to lose that job, lose certain friends, and lose all motivation and willpower. Since I spend quite a bit of time at home and am not particularly social lately, my social skills have deteriorated, as has my self-confidence. However, I have come to realize a few things—looking back at the past is somewhat like staring into a deep well. You cannot go inside; you can only fall in, or you can draw water from it. And that water represents life. Therefore, one should view the past as a reservoir of experience that serves as your water. You might realize that you are strong simply because you have endured all of this, and perhaps the suffering you are experiencing is actually a positive thing, because those who have had nothing but perfection in their lives are completely unprepared when they eventually encounter a situation like this. They don't understand suffering until it finds them. Take some time for yourself and consider what the best course of action might be. What do you know how to do that makes you feel good and helps you forget the pain? What successfully distracts you and captures your interest? For me, that abyss often opens up—that feeling that life is empty and we are merely here to suffer. But do you know why we suffer? I guess we suffer because we live in ignorance. Yet, this isn't the kind of knowledge you learn from a textbook; it is self-knowledge. Once we realize that everyone is essentially a miniature universe unto themselves, things might become easier. Because you are your own universe, and everyone living today will one day be dead. They will never even realize they once lived. Everything is painful—birth, life, death. Pain is the very thing that strengthens us; when something hurts, it is a sign that you are growing. Much like a muscle, when you exercise it, it aches, but it aches precisely because it is growing. Accept the pain as a reminder that you are alive, just for a little while longer. We are often presented with these imposed images of how life ought to look, but the magic lies in the fact that everyone's life looks entirely different. What lies within our subconscious is a struggle for power; we want to be powerful, valued, respected, loved. But that is actually a negative pursuit, whereas suffering is positive. If you think about it for a while, you might realize this.

See, I was never really the hyperactive type, except right before my psychosis kicked in, but that doesn't count since it was part of the episode itself. I've always been more of a loner, someone who retreats into their own world. The only thing I was ever truly good at was school, specifically the sciences. What hurts the most is that people see this lack of energy in me, this sense of confusion... and whenever someone points it out, there's always someone ready to poke at the wound. Sometimes it feels malicious, like they're just enjoying it, or like they're feeding off someone weaker. You wrote such a beautiful post to me, but I can't shake the feeling that some people in my circle actually enjoy watching me struggle; it feels like they wouldn't care if I simply disappeared. You say that pain makes us stronger, but I wouldn't go that far. Maybe moderate pain helps, but for me, it’s just a vicious cycle. Because I'm naturally quiet, I end up feeling less valuable than everyone else, and many people treat me that way too, which only makes me retreat further into myself.
A colleague once asked me, "Why are you so quiet? You act like someone everyone can just walk all over." And honestly, I start to believe them. It leaves me feeling like I just don't matter.

What doses of Seroquel are you guys on? And how many times have you had to switch up your meds over the last five years? My brother went from 300 up to Seroquel 600, and he was doing great for five days before things crashed again.

Humans have always stepped over one another to get ahead. It’s an ancient pattern, really. These power struggles have been baked into our collective consciousness since the beginning of time. In tribal societies, the strongest individual was the one who secured a mate; nature designed us this way. It seems to be an inherent part of the human condition—this drive to trample others and prioritize our own interests above all else. While these conflicts used to manifest as physical confrontations, today they have shifted into psychological warfare. You can spend your entire life building something up, but that doesn't mean you're destined to remain trapped in that cycle forever. I suppose you have to forge new neural pathways. You essentially have to hack your own psyche. Our mind functions much like software, and I believe you can learn to reprogram it to work in your favor, though perhaps only through constant experimentation. I realize that after everything you've endured, it might feel as though you've lost all agency over your own brain, but I suspect the reality is quite different. You actually do have control. For instance, there are certain groups in the East who intentionally induce states of madness to reach psychosis. In America, we would classify that as a mental disorder, whereas in India, it might be viewed as a divine gift. Everything is relative, I think; if you expand your perspective, anything is possible. 🙂
Find something you truly enjoy doing. Something that allows you to lose yourself entirely in the moment.

ruggedtinker9 said:I suppose one might wonder how it is even possible to decide to maintain a positive outlook when you are gripped by such a profound sense of misery. This feeling isn't something rational that you can simply reason away; it is an immutable state of being, an internal reality that exists regardless of logic. If it were actually within anyone's power to simply choose happiness and decide to feel good on command, life would be significantly less complicated. In such a hypothetical world, I imagine we wouldn't have any need for medications, controlled substances, psychotherapy, or all those other various interventions used to make people feel slightly more tolerable.
When your brain's reward centers are essentially numbed by medication, it seems almost inevitable that a person would end up feeling utterly wretched.

Look, we actually *can* control our emotions, because our thoughts and feelings are basically just side effects of how we act. So, if you change what you're doing, you eventually change how you think and feel.

At its core, depression is really just an addiction to negative thinking.

David Vaughn75 said:Look, we actually *can* control our emotions, because our thoughts and feelings are basically just side effects of how we act. So, if you change what you're doing, you eventually change how you think and feel.

At its core, depression is really just an addiction to negative thinking.

I disagree. It actually works the other way—thoughts and feelings drive the behavior.

Diego, man, please don't do anything drastic. I truly get what you're going through—I've been in those exact trenches myself, and honestly, I’m still wading through some of it today—but I refuse to let it break me. Just this past Friday, I found myself at this social gathering where I didn't know a soul... a complete sea of strangers. I dropped a few subtle hints about my mental health struggles just to test the waters—you know, to pave the way so that if I slip up or act a little "off," people might be a bit more understanding—but then, out of pure, stubborn spite, I decided to drink. And I didn't just sip, either. You know what happened next? For about forty-five minutes, I was absolutely the life of the party. I was holding court, cracking jokes I didn't even think I had the wit to pull off, and I even managed to charm this gorgeous girl. But look, the drinking isn't the point here. The point is that I’ve started making a conscious effort to step into the spotlight when I'm out. Even when my head is spinning with all sorts of absolute garbage thoughts, I force myself to engage, to talk, to laugh... and believe me, people notice that effort. It's real. Even today, an acquaintance reached out and offered me a gig working in a warehouse—the manager there actually knows me now, which wasn't the case before. Believe me when I say you are capable of so much more than your current headspace is telling you right now. I'm not out here trying to conquer the world or achieve these massive milestones that everyone else seems to take for granted, but for me? These small victories feel monumental. I am going to push myself as hard as I can, even if my brain feels like it's going to explode in the process.
Hang in there!

Harold Harris20 said:What doses of Seroquel are you guys on? And how many times have you had to switch up your meds over the last five years? My brother went from 300 up to Seroquel 600, and he was doing great for five days before things crashed again.

So, how is your brother actually holding up day-to-day? Is he seeing anyone?