briskcyclist40 said:I just wanted to say that having a psychotic diagnosis doesn't automatically make someone a crazy or terrible person!
Of course they aren't. My son deals with psychosis, so obviously I don't see things that way.
The main thing is that when you're living with someone going through a psychotic episode, you have to stay as calm as possible. If you don't, you just end up feeding into their anxiety and making everything worse.
It sounds like vividorca9 is reaching her breaking point—you can tell by how she’s typing—but panicking isn't helping anyone, least of all him. Honestly, it would be best if both of them sought out professional help so they can each find some stability. You can't just dump your own mental state onto the other person. That just creates this endless cycle and makes the whole house feel like a pressure cooker.
It takes a massive amount of patience, tenderness, and just plain old love. Because if that person starts feeling unloved? That’s terrifying for them.
Yeah, that’s definitely not how this works.
If you give him fifteen reasons why you love him, he’ll find the one reason why you don't.
And that’s the whole damn issue.
It’s this constant push-and-pull dynamic. When I try to get close, he gets suspicious, thinks I can't be trusted, and pushes me away. Then, as soon as I say "fine, bye," he suddenly becomes super attached and starts looking for support because apparently, if I'm not interested anymore, he can finally trust me.
It took me forever to figure out his modus operandi since that's not how I operate, but I eventually saw the pattern. 🤷
He needs love from a distance. As weird as it sounds, he needs a cold approach rather than my hyper-emotional style. (I have BPD, and we’re known for being dramatic, but also for huge outbursts of affection—I honestly thought that was at least a positive trait 🙂).
Typical conversation:
-I love you so much.
-But what if you fall in love and leave? What if you don't need me anymore?
-I don't think that's going to happen because I don't feel that way.
-Well, you don't feel that way now, but can you guarantee it'll stay like that forever?
-I can.
-You're lying.
-Fine, then, I can't.
-See? There's the proof that you can't be trusted.
And that’s where the fighting starts.
Or this:
-You're this age, you're gonna fall in love and walk away.
-I won't, because I've been through enough and I think I'm past that stage.
-Maybe... but who knows...
And boom, more fighting.