Schizophrenia - General Discussion

I don't get one thing: my psychiatrist keeps telling me I have domestic violence issues, but I separate myself whenever I can. Plus, there's the guy I love, who's under 2.
I just don't understand why I can't seem to meet someone for something serious. I don't even have a psychiatric diagnosis; my neurological condition is in full remission and has completely receded. I'm attractive, financially stable, mentally resilient, and highly educated—yet I keep running into idiots. It feels like despite everything, I’m destined to be alone, unable to find anyone so I won't be lonely and can actually start a family one day.

Rebecca Rivera3 said:I don't get one thing: my psychiatrist keeps telling me I have domestic violence issues, but I separate myself whenever I can. Plus, there's the guy I love, who's under 2.
I just don't understand why I can't seem to meet someone for something serious. I don't even have a psychiatric diagnosis; my neurological condition is in full remission and has completely receded. I'm attractive, financially stable, mentally resilient, and highly educated—yet I keep running into idiots. It feels like despite everything, I’m destined to be alone, unable to find anyone so I won't be lonely and can actually start a family one day.

You'll find someone eventually, but it takes time. 😉 I see it happening to people around me all the time.

On a side note, a lab tech once told me I had all the symptoms of toxoplasmosis, suggesting that my schizophrenia and excessive sleeping might be linked to it—but you can't even get tested for that kind of thing here in the States.

Right now, I'm getting $200 in disability, and I'm in the middle of the paperwork to claim a 70% survivor's pension from my late father. That would bring me up to maybe $450 total, which isn't much more than the absolute minimum social security check.

Everything went south during that whole COVID-19 mess. Because of how things hit back in March 2020, I ended up in the psych ward, and then right back there again in December 2020 because my dad had a massive stroke—which was pretty brutal. 😢

So, I was in psych, and he was in the ICU. Same floor of the hospital, just two different wings.

Rebecca Rivera3 said:I don't get one thing: my psychiatrist keeps telling me I have domestic violence issues, but I separate myself whenever I can. Plus, there's the guy I love, who's under 2.
I just don't understand why I can't seem to meet someone for something serious. I don't even have a psychiatric diagnosis; my neurological condition is in full remission and has completely receded. I'm attractive, financially stable, mentally resilient, and highly educated—yet I keep running into idiots. It feels like despite everything, I’m destined to be alone, unable to find anyone so I won't be lonely and can actually start a family one day.

Just show up to some US-based meetups, maybe a hiking group or a local social gathering, and you'll expand your circle pretty fast. Then, eventually, you might actually find someone.

Sure, switching up your scenery is probably the best way to actually meet new people.
Just stay far away from dating apps at all costs.

I figured I should jump in here and join the conversation too. I’ve been spending quite a bit of time reading through this thread,

So, I was recently diagnosed with schizophrenia, which comes after my fifth time being hospitalized... Once the initial shock finally wore off, I started to slowly wrap my head around the fact that this is just my reality now.

I wanted to reach out and see if anyone else here is taking Xeplion depo, and if you are, have you dealt with any side effects like increased anxiety or panic attacks?

I’ve had the same number of hospital stays and the exact same diagnosis. I've been on Xeplion depo for over two years now. My anxiety and panic attacks are totally gone,

but honestly, I still have to take diazepam at night just to crash—mostly because the Xeplion keeps me way too wired. But if I’m being real, the thing that bugs me the most is having to rely entirely on a nurse to give me my injection.

Especially lately with everything going on with COVID-19 and all the staff rotations, you really notice when some nurses don't actually know what they're doing. Since the liquid is so thick, if they don't do it right, it's a mess.

And even when they *do* know how, sometimes they're just completely checked out or distracted, and then I end up feeling "sick" for three whole days afterward.

Morgan Lewis said:I’ve had the same number of hospital stays and the exact same diagnosis. I've been on Xeplion depo for over two years now. My anxiety and panic attacks are totally gone,

but honestly, I still have to take diazepam at night just to crash—mostly because the Xeplion keeps me way too wired. But if I’m being real, the thing that bugs me the most is having to rely entirely on a nurse to give me my injection.

Especially lately with everything going on with COVID-19 and all the staff rotations, you really notice when some nurses don't actually know what they're doing. Since the liquid is so thick, if they don't do it right, it's a mess.

And even when they *do* know how, sometimes they're just completely checked out or distracted, and then I end up feeling "sick" for three whole days afterward.

Thanks for getting back to me, Morgan Lewis. 🙂

I honestly don't know... I'm just feeling this underlying wave of anxiety, and I think it might be linked to the Xeplion, because I've been on it for nearly five years now, and it was only back when I first started it that I used to have those sudden panic attacks.

On top of the depot, I'm also taking a few other things—Depakote Chrono 300mg once in the morning and twice at night, plus 10mg of Olanzapine and 5mg of Aripiprazole every evening.

My regimen is pretty heavy right now because I was actually discharged from the hospital relatively recently... my last stay was less than three months ago, which happened because I made the huge mistake of stopping my oral meds on my own initiative. 🤦 That was a fatal error on my part...

Oh, don't mention it! No problem at all. :-)

Honestly, I went through the exact same thing—stopping my meds entirely and then eventually landing on Xeplion... it’s just such a classic pattern with this kind of situation. Looking back, I really felt like I could have managed without it.

I used to deal with these intense panic attacks, though they only ever hit me at night. It all started after I came off my antidepressants, and things finally settled down after about a month or two once I started the lithium.

But man, I suffered through it for so long because I had one doctor who didn't even think to suggest lithium right away. When I finally did try it, it just wasn't the right fit for me, so I ended up stopping it on my own.

It might be worth a shot for you, though. 😵

fadedhound86 said:I figured I should jump in here and join the conversation too. I’ve been spending quite a bit of time reading through this thread,

So, I was recently diagnosed with schizophrenia, which comes after my fifth time being hospitalized... Once the initial shock finally wore off, I started to slowly wrap my head around the fact that this is just my reality now.

I wanted to reach out and see if anyone else here is taking Xeplion depo, and if you are, have you dealt with any side effects like increased anxiety or panic attacks?

Hey there. I was actually on a similar medication, Unknown, for what felt like about seven years. Back then, it was pretty much the gold standard for treating schizophrenia. It worked relatively well for me, though I eventually transitioned over to the one I'm using now.

As for the panic attacks and anxiety, I can't say for sure, but it could definitely be a side effect of the medication, or perhaps just those lingering echoes from the initial shock of receiving an F-22 diagnosis.

There’s this common assumption that schizophrenia is the most difficult mental health condition to deal with, but honestly, that isn't necessarily true. Everything really depends on the individual case and how you define the severity of a disorder.
The most important thing is to find the right treatment plan and stay consistent with the medication.

Harold Anderson3 said:Hey there. I was actually on a similar medication, Unknown, for what felt like about seven years. Back then, it was pretty much the gold standard for treating schizophrenia. It worked relatively well for me, though I eventually transitioned over to the one I'm using now.

As for the panic attacks and anxiety, I can't say for sure, but it could definitely be a side effect of the medication, or perhaps just those lingering echoes from the initial shock of receiving an F-22 diagnosis.

There’s this common assumption that schizophrenia is the most difficult mental health condition to deal with, but honestly, that isn't necessarily true. Everything really depends on the individual case and how you define the severity of a disorder.
The most important thing is to find the right treatment plan and stay consistent with the medication.

That's definitely possible, I hadn't really looked at it from that angle before...

Harold Anderson3 said:There’s this common idea that schizophrenia is the absolute toughest mental health struggle out there, but that isn't necessarily true for everyone. It really all depends on the individual case and how you personally define what makes a disorder "heavy"...
The real key is finding the right treatment plan and sticking to the meds consistently.

It absolutely floored me when I first found out—you know, when I was reading through my discharge papers after being released from the hospital...
But I've started to come around a bit, and now I'm beginning to accept it as just part of who I am. At the end of the day, the most important thing is staying on top of the medication, because those of us dealing with F-22 really can't function without them... so, yeah, that's just life...

Thanks so much, Nicole Booth25! Honestly, this is easily the most beautiful thing I’ve come across on this entire forum. Namaste!

Morgan Lewis said:Thanks so much, Nicole Booth25! Honestly, this is easily the most beautiful thing I’ve come across on this entire forum. Namaste!

🙂

Please

What’s the deal with all these pills? We’re constantly feeling drowsy, dealing with dry mouth, and even facing sexual dysfunction—it seems like almost everyone I know deals with some level of that. What’s the point? Is anyone actually feeling better?
I was prescribed Paxil. I'm getting all those side effects too, especially the nausea, and I honestly can't stand them.

Rebecca Rivera3 said:What’s the deal with all these pills? We’re constantly feeling drowsy, dealing with dry mouth, and even facing sexual dysfunction—it seems like almost everyone I know deals with some level of that. What’s the point? Is anyone actually feeling better?
I was prescribed Paxil. I'm getting all those side effects too, especially the nausea, and I honestly can't stand them.

For me, it fluctuates quite a bit. On average, I'll have two good days followed by two rough ones.
Lately, though, the negative symptoms of schizophrenia have really been getting to me—just this heavy lack of motivation and constant depression.

And I spend way too much time "living" in the past. Just obsessing over where I went wrong in my dreams, or what I could have done differently if I had known then what I know now...

Hopefully, things will start looking up soon... 🤷

fadedhound86 said:For me, it fluctuates quite a bit. On average, I'll have two good days followed by two rough ones.
Lately, though, the negative symptoms of schizophrenia have really been getting to me—just this heavy lack of motivation and constant depression.

And I spend way too much time "living" in the past. Just obsessing over where I went wrong in my dreams, or what I could have done differently if I had known then what I know now...

Hopefully, things will start looking up soon... 🤷

I suppose you just have to learn to live with that reality. I’ve been managing my schizophrenia for nearly thirteen years now, and if I’m being honest, the best I’ve managed to achieve is a sort of bipolar-like cycle, where my mood just swings back and forth between deep depression and feeling relatively normal (and occasionally even hitting manic highs). Even with staying strictly on top of my medication, I can't rule out those occasional, milder psychotic episodes either. If those negative symptoms are starting to feel overwhelming for you, it might be worth having a real conversation with your psychiatrist about potentially adding an antidepressant to your current regimen.

And I spend quite a lot of time "living" in the past. Just constantly ruminating on where everything went wrong or what I could have done differently...

Hopefully, things will improve. 🤷

I know that feeling all too well, though I think it's something we can work on improving. I try to tell myself to dedicate about 90% of my mental energy and focus to the present moment, leaving just the remaining 10% to deal with the past or look toward the future. It basically means trying to stay grounded in the "now," while still allowing yourself to remember where you've been and plan for where you're going.
You didn't do anything wrong; things simply turned out the way they did. Of course, it wasn't inevitable—things could have gone differently—but they didn't. It is what it is. You can't rewrite the past, but you definitely have the power to shape your future by how you handle the present.

Harold Anderson3 said:I suppose you just have to learn to live with that reality. I’ve been managing my schizophrenia for nearly thirteen years now, and if I’m being honest, the best I’ve managed to achieve is a sort of bipolar-like cycle, where my mood just swings back and forth between deep depression and feeling relatively normal (and occasionally even hitting manic highs). Even with staying strictly on top of my medication, I can't rule out those occasional, milder psychotic episodes either. If those negative symptoms are starting to feel overwhelming for you, it might be worth having a real conversation with your psychiatrist about potentially adding an antidepressant to your current regimen.

And I spend quite a lot of time "living" in the past. Just constantly ruminating on where everything went wrong or what I could have done differently...

Hopefully, things will improve. 🤷

I know that feeling all too well, though I think it's something we can work on improving. I try to tell myself to dedicate about 90% of my mental energy and focus to the present moment, leaving just the remaining 10% to deal with the past or look toward the future. It basically means trying to stay grounded in the "now," while still allowing yourself to remember where you've been and plan for where you're going.
You didn't do anything wrong; things simply turned out the way they did. Of course, it wasn't inevitable—things could have gone differently—but they didn't. It is what it is. You can't rewrite the past, but you definitely have the power to shape your future by how you handle the present.

I think I'll hold off on asking for an antidepressant for now, though, because I know firsthand how incredibly hard it can be to find the motivation to even get out of bed once you start taking them.
Plus, things aren't quite at a breaking point with my depression yet...

Harold Anderson3 said:I know that feeling all too well, but hey, it's something that can be worked on. Try to put about 90% of your focus and energy into the here and now, and then just let the other 10% cover the past and the future. It basically means staying present in the moment, while occasionally looking back or planning ahead...
You didn't do anything wrong; things just turned out the way they did. Of course, it didn't *have* to happen this way—it could have gone differently—but it didn't. This is just where we are. You can't rewrite what's already happened, and you shape your future by how you handle right now.

Everything you said makes sense, Harold, and your logic is totally sound... But the thing is, I've always been such an emotional person, and I tend to follow my heart much more than my head. I catch myself blaming myself for being sick, especially since heavy marijuana use over a long stretch was one of the triggers for my schizophrenia, not to mention that period last year when I decided to stop taking my meds on my own whim. Back then, I was only taking one pill, but now I'm on five plus a depot injection...🙂

Still, I'm still fighting this battle, and I haven't given up hope on finding a better future for myself. So, there's a little bit of positivity coming from my side after all... 🙂

fadedhound86 said:I think I'll hold off on asking for an antidepressant for now, though, because I know firsthand how incredibly hard it can be to find the motivation to even get out of bed once you start taking them.
Plus, things aren't quite at a breaking point with my depression yet...

Everything you said makes sense, Harold, and your logic is totally sound... But the thing is, I've always been such an emotional person, and I tend to follow my heart much more than my head. I catch myself blaming myself for being sick, especially since heavy marijuana use over a long stretch was one of the triggers for my schizophrenia, not to mention that period last year when I decided to stop taking my meds on my own whim. Back then, I was only taking one pill, but now I'm on five plus a depot injection...🙂

Still, I'm still fighting this battle, and I haven't given up hope on finding a better future for myself. So, there's a little bit of positivity coming from my side after all... 🙂

I've experimented with weed too, though unfortunately, I used to mix it with alcohol, which was probably worse.
I also went off my medication for about three weeks back when I had F21—which is a milder diagnosis, schizotypal disorder—even though all I really needed to do was take 10 mg of Zyprexa at night.
Just be grateful that these medications exist and that they're actually working for you.
If you've been hospitalized five times, I'm sure you've seen just about every kind of psychiatric case imaginable.
Including those folks with schizophrenia who can't even string five words together into a coherent sentence, let alone post on a forum about their struggles.
You're still relatively "fresh" to all of this, and you have so much room to grow
if you stay persistent.

And that ending is truly positive; you always have to keep fighting and never give up. Good luck. 🙂

Harold Anderson3 said:I've experimented with weed too, though unfortunately, I used to mix it with alcohol, which was probably worse.
I also went off my medication for about three weeks back when I had F21—which is a milder diagnosis, schizotypal disorder—even though all I really needed to do was take 10 mg of Zyprexa at night.
Just be grateful that these medications exist and that they're actually working for you.
If you've been hospitalized five times, I'm sure you've seen just about every kind of psychiatric case imaginable.
Including those folks with schizophrenia who can't even string five words together into a coherent sentence, let alone post on a forum about their struggles.
You're still relatively "fresh" to all of this, and you have so much room to grow
if you stay persistent.

And that ending is truly positive; you always have to keep fighting and never give up. Good luck. 🙂

thanks Diego for those sweet wishes, your words really did lift my spirits today! 👍

I’ve been following along with what Harold Anderson3 is saying, but I wanted to ask one thing—has a psychiatrist ever actually questioned your schizoaffective diagnosis before? And are you still on Zyprexa, or have they switched things up on you lately?
Sending strength to everyone out there battling anything in the F20-F29 spectrum—hang in there!