Started by wearyowl29 · · 👁 5 views · 58 replies
Kyle Nelson2 said:... basically, you're just heading toward your own desensitization...
it would be better to focus on building up self-esteem or actually understanding those dynamics (yeah, I'm getting a bit philosophical here, but it feels like the more productive route)
Nemrut Dag said:Learning through direct experience—that kind of stuff stays with you forever.
Sometimes saying "no" doesn't trigger a massive domino effect of issues—in fact, sometimes that "no" actually helps people in ways they don't even realize yet.
Nemruth Dag said:Is it actually possible to tell someone "no" without feeling at least a little bit guilty about it?
none said:It isn't so much a sense of guilt I feel, more like a sense of obligation.😕
Whenever someone asks me something, my reflex—almost an automatic response—is to say "yes, sure, absolutely, let's make it happen," just because it feels like the polite thing to do, I suppose. 😁 Then, usually a moment later, I realize I actually can't commit, so I have to backtrack and say, "Oh, wait, I actually can't." But honestly? When I finally do say "no," I don't feel a single ounce of remorse—and my conscience certainly doesn't bother me at all.
William Gonzalez3 said:you're a total fraud. you always claim you'll do something, but you never actually follow through.
Look, I know I probably shouldn't be airing this dirty laundry, but blueranger12 has said 'yes' more than a few times, and let me tell you, he’s felt the heat every single time afterward.
He was sweating bullets—literally, while he was taking a leak.
blueranger12 is just a coward at heart.
The guy doesn't even know if saying 'no' would burn him, because he hasn't had the guts to ever say it.
Harold Turner2 said:No, unless you're talking about sexual maniacs🙂
William Gonzalez3 said:you're a total fraud. you always say "yes" but never actually follow through.
Look, I know we aren't supposed to talk about real life here, but blueranger12 said "yes" plenty of times and it burned him bad every single time.
Even while he was taking a leak.
blueranger12 is a total pushover.
He doesn't even know if saying "no" would hurt, because he's never had the guts to try it.
blueranger12 said:I know we aren't supposed to bring up people's real lives here, but yesterday—while I was working over on Main Street—William Gonzalez3 showed up and started picking a fight with me. I mean, it’s a free country; I can choose my own customers wherever I want, right? But then I called security to have him removed, and now it feels like William Gonzalez3 is trying to get back at me through this forum. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised, but honestly, it just doesn't feel right.😠
blueranger12 said:And I didn't even mention if it stung when I was peeing...
William Gonzalez3 said:blueranger12, does it sting when you pee?blueranger12 said:When someone asks me something, I instinctively say "yeah, sure, obviously, yep, looks like it, yeah"—because, I guess, that's just how I respond.
Richard Lee9 said:😕
Does your conscience only bother you when you refuse to cater to sexual maniacs?
That's a sign you need serious psychotherapy. 😕
William Gonzalez3 said:I wasn't calling you some kind of sellout, I was just hinting you're a guy with zero backbone. Look, I didn't mean you were peddling affection, just that you're a total yesman when it comes to love—someone who can't say no and just reflexively agrees to everything.
Harold Turner2 said:Come on, just read the question one more time before you judge my answer.🙂
Richard Lee9 said:So, you're actually feeling guilty about it?!
Why is that?
Are you saying "no" when you know you could actually help—but choose not to out of some sense of principle—or is it just that you say "no" because you genuinely can't, for some objective reason?
zg_sash said:It took some serious effort and time, but I finally learned how to say "no" without feeling guilty or coming up with some vague, half-baked excuses.
blueranger12 said:It’s not even about guilt for me; it’s more like a sense of duty.😕
Whenever someone asks me for something, my brain goes on autopilot. I just start nodding along—you know the drill? "Sure thing," "Yeah, totally," "Let's make it happen!" It's just what you do! 😁 Then, reality hits me like a ton of bricks and I realize, "Oh boy, I actually can't do that." But honestly? Once I finally say "no," I don't feel a single ounce of guilt. My conscience stays perfectly clear.
William Gonzalez3 said:No. I just can't.
Now I’m sitting here feeling absolutely terrible about it.
And honestly? It’s all your fault!
The Executioner said:people just have this habit of getting incredibly attached to me, and they do it fast and with such intensity.
so I always find it difficult to turn someone down, even when there’s an objective reason to do so, because I know I’m going to cause them pain.
That’s just how it is. You’re surrounded by people, everyone wants a slice of your attention and all that, but you can’t be there for everyone 100% of the time, which leads to some really awkward situations.
I'm fully aware of the fallout when I say no. That's why it's so hard for me.