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Home › Society › Psychology › What drives a person toward self-sabotage?

What drives a person toward self-sabotage?

Started by analogwolf63 · · 👁 5 views · 42 replies

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Participants analogwolf63rustyfalcon52wearyowl29silentpilot6Walter Myers4Alex Rogers96gentlelynx26Harold Adams5rustymaker46Charles Taylor10wiredrider2Amanda Flores88Michael Rivera5brightnomad0crimsonhound80hiddentrucker16Rebecca Cox2Carol Lee4Thomas Cruz12Chloe Lopez77Anthony Kim18rustymaker5steelangler10Andrew Garcia3 …
Charles Taylor10 Charles Taylor10 Member
18 messages
joined Jul 2006
#21 ·
It honestly just wears me down... nothing is more exhausting than watching people spiral into total hysterics over nothing. Like, people are actually struggling to put food on the table, yet she’s ready to throw her life away just because some guy didn't call her for forty-eight hours or whatever. 🙄
Amanda Flores88 Amanda Flores88 Active Member
89 messages
joined May 2023
#22 ·
Charles Taylor10 said:Maybe what looks like self-deprecation to you doesn't feel that way to someone else...

And honestly? That’s pretty spot on too...

If I'm following you correctly—and I think I am—you're saying that all this talk about "self-esteem," "pride," and "dignity" is often just a massive ego trip in disguise. And yeah, you've got a point there.

In that case, a little humility might actually do some good.
Michael Rivera5 Michael Rivera5 Newcomer
4 messages
joined Sep 2006
#23 ·
Nikol Nikol said:Fear?

Disgust?

Low self-esteem?

Just a way to fish for compliments? (reverse psychology)

Instability?

Anxiety?

Depravity?

Immaturity?

Sadness?


Self-deprecation—how and why?!
Well, I think it really comes down to just being incredibly insecure about oneself and one's own abilities...
😎
brightnomad0 brightnomad0 Member
11 messages
joined Oct 2004
#24 ·
Self-centered pride is ultimately what leads a person toward their own downfall....
that's really all there is to it...
everything else—those flaws and the impulses that drive us toward bad decisions—seems to stem from pride... things like feeling superior or inferior to others...

.......................

.................
Harold Adams5 Harold Adams5 Active Member
102 messages
joined Feb 2008
#25 ·
brain_cell said:I honestly can't deal... nothing drives me crazier than people throwing massive tantrums just because someone didn't meet their impossible standards. Like, seriously? People are out there struggling to put food on the table, and this girl wants to go full melodrama because her boyfriend didn't text her back for forty-eight hours. It's ridiculous.🙄

This is totally off-topic..
It’s just pure entitlement and immaturity.
Harold Adams5 Harold Adams5 Active Member
102 messages
joined Feb 2008
#26 ·
brightnomad0 said:That selfish, ego-driven pride is exactly what leads a person toward self-destruction....
just saying...
everything else—all those bad traits and everything that pushes someone toward doing wrong—stems from pride. It’s where that feeling of being better or worse than everyone else comes from...

.......................

.................

The exact opposite..😕
Harold Adams5 Harold Adams5 Active Member
102 messages
joined Feb 2008
#27 ·
brain_cell said:I can't really explain it if you don't get it. I was just trying to say this: what looks like self-humiliation to one person might feel like self-fulfillment to another.

To me, that sentence sounds like someone building a career by sleeping with some bloated, dim-witted CEO. So, yeah, that kind of "self-fulfillment" really depends on
how much stomach you actually have...
analogwolf63 analogwolf63 NewcomerOP
3 messages
joined Sep 2006
#28 ·
brain_cell said:Maybe what you see as self-deprecation isn't actually that to someone else. I guess I've met people who feel like being honest about themselves is humiliating because they're just ashamed... or maybe they're the type who think it's fine to let society dictate how you act, and they view true independence as a kind of disgrace.

Actually, I suppose shy people always tend to make excuses or offer apologies for who they are...

I guess the conclusion is that self-deprecation doesn't really exist; it probably all just depends on how you perceive yourself.
crimsonhound80 crimsonhound80 Active Member
175 messages
joined Mar 2008
#29 ·
analogwolf63 said:but honestly, shy people always seem to be using it as some kind of excuse or justification...

Well... I mean, isn't that just another way of acting? It's basically just performing—trying to reach a goal, just through a "different" kind of manipulation than what most people use 😁
you actually end up concluding that self-humiliation doesn't even exist; it all just comes down to how you perceive yourself

..and, I suppose, how everyone else perceives you, too 😬
brightnomad0 brightnomad0 Member
11 messages
joined Oct 2004
#30 ·
Harold Adams5 said:it's actually the opposite..😕

I wouldn't say that's quite right; maybe just do a little more digging into the history of pride...
hiddentrucker16 hiddentrucker16 Active Member
123 messages
joined Oct 2006
#31 ·
brain_cell said:Perhaps what feels like self-abasement to you isn't viewed that way by everyone else. I’ve encountered quite a few people who find it humiliating just to share anything personal about themselves—mostly because they’re gripped by shame... or, conversely, there are those who believe it's perfectly fine for society to dictate your every move, viewing any attempt at individual autonomy or ignoring social pressure as a form of pathetic self-degradation.

In my view, self-abasement isn't really about being shy; I’d argue more that shame stems from a lack of self-esteem—or perhaps just a deep-seated fear of how others might judge you.
Rebecca Cox2 Rebecca Cox2 Active Member
70 messages
joined Mar 2004
#32 ·
analogwolf63 said:Fear?

Disgust?

A sense of inferiority?

Or just a tactic to fish for compliments via reverse psychology?

Imbalance?

Anxiety?

Moral decay?

Immaturity?

Sadness?

It boils down to insecurity and low self-esteem, just like someone else pointed out earlier.

Personally, I tend to steer clear of people like that, and if I'm being honest, I don't know anyone who actually enjoys having them around...
Carol Lee4 Carol Lee4 Active Member
58 messages
joined Jul 2006
#33 ·
It’s all about the wrong approach—starting with parents until age five, then moving to the schools and teachers, and eventually reaching professors.

Then you end up with this flawed perspective toward everyone because they spent years convincing you that you’re essentially useless and won't ever amount to anything, creating this endless cycle. Or, on the flip side, you become too timid to even speak up at a local grocery store, just buying whatever someone else suggests because you don't want to deal with the awkwardness of explaining why you lack a backbone or aren't sure if you actually need the item.🙂

You grow up believing you have no value, and honestly, most of us struggle to even accept a compliment properly.
For instance, when someone tells you they love your dress, instead of just saying, "Thanks, I love it too!" you immediately jump to, "Oh, this? It’s seven years old."👎

Whatever you convince yourself is true becomes your reality.🎉 😱
Please, let's keep the trolls and negativity out of this.🙂
Thomas Cruz12 Thomas Cruz12 Newcomer
2 messages
joined Oct 2006
#34 ·
"This sounds like someone climbing the corporate ladder by sleeping with some bloated, dim-witted CEO."

😬Why is it always the same trope? Directors in stories are always fat, stupid, and greasy.

p.s. Is "for what" written as one word or two?😍
Harold Adams5 Harold Adams5 Active Member
102 messages
joined Feb 2008
#35 ·
Thomas Cruz12 said:"this sentence makes me think of someone building a career in bed with some fat, clueless, greasy executive"

😬 Why is it that every boss in movies is always portrayed as fat, stupid, and greasy?

p.s. Is "why" supposed to be one word or two? 😍

😁 I guess it's because your average blue-collar worker doesn't have any of those qualities—or anyone hot enough to bother with "self-fulfillment."
And you can spell however you want; it just tells people where you're from (if I'm feeling generous).
Harold Adams5 Harold Adams5 Active Member
102 messages
joined Feb 2008
#36 ·
analogwolf63 said:Fear?

Disgust?

A sense of inferiority?

Just some twisted way to fish for compliments via reverse psychology?

Instability?

Anxiety?

Depravity?

Immaturity?

Sadness?

You forgot to mention boredom as an option.
Carol Lee4 Carol Lee4 Active Member
58 messages
joined Jul 2006
#37 ·
Thomas Cruz12 said:"to sentence makes me think of someone building their career through a bedroom affair with some bloated, dim-witted, greasy CEO"

😬 Why is it that bosses in movies are always portrayed as overweight, clueless, and greasy?

p.s. Is "why" supposed to be one word or two? 😍

Well, I assume it's because back in the day—and even now sometimes—business deals were closed over massive steak dinners at places like Ruth's Chris; basically, the more meetings you attended, the more weight you put on. 😍

Oh, and way back when, being well-fed was actually a major status symbol, so maybe that’s where the trope really started... 🙂
Chloe Lopez77 Chloe Lopez77 Member
13 messages
joined Oct 2006
#38 ·
insecurity
Anthony Kim18 Anthony Kim18 Active Member
238 messages
joined Apr 2006
#39 ·
Childhood trauma.
rustymaker5 rustymaker5 Regular
352 messages
joined Mar 2008
#40 ·
Self-abasement....
There are certain people out there who have basically decided, quite intentionally I think, to play the victim for the rest of their lives. To me, they remind me of leeches or maybe even vampires... because by constantly fishing for sympathy from everyone around them, they end up sucking the life force right out of people, feeding on that energy just to get whatever they want through the path of least resistance. It’s this incredibly sneaky way of dodging any shred of personal responsibility by projecting everything onto someone else, making sure they’re never actually at fault for their own actions or the mess their lives become.
For these types, acting pathetic or self-deprecating is nothing more than a calculated tactic to pull strings, triggering a sense of guilt and obligation in others just so they can manipulate them more easily.

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