bluebison70 said:So, what would immortality actually look like?
Would it be this endless process of changing while somehow managing to hold onto who you really are?
Or, if we assume there’s a core part of a being—an actual "me"—that stays constant while all these changes are just things that essence observes, like watching a play unfold, then maybe chasing immortality is just the desire to keep watching those plays forever, even as they constantly change.
If that core is what remains unchangeable and defines our very essence, then all these shifts and performances stemming from it could be seen as a way for that essence to "shed" everything that isn't truly itself. Basically, all our different versions and life stages might just be this "excess"—a byproduct of the essence releasing everything else to keep its true center untouched. But here’s the thing: if all these changes are just "excess," my entire being is nothing more than an attempt to grasp that excess, trying to use it to get closer to the essence itself—to that thing that discarded everything that wasn't an integral part of it.
But why would it work like that in the first place?
Why would I feel this drive to reach my own essence when I'm perfectly fine with my current versions, especially if every change reveals something born from that essence—even if the change itself is just a manifestation of that "excess"?
Maybe it’s because I’m just not okay with how things are.
Maybe it's because these changes have become so overwhelming that I'm getting lost in all this "extra stuff" and I honestly don't know where to put it all.
I don't even know who I am anymore.
What is my essence telling me? It feels like pain.
Its version of immortality, if such a thing exists, suggests a "place" where death began—a place the essence can no longer sustain because it keeps rejecting it as something foreign. So, death, or the fading away of a certain part of a person, becomes a kind of "release" for the being, bringing it closer to the essence by freeing it from one specific persona.
Based on how I'm looking at it, 🙂 the pursuit of immortality wouldn't be about the essence wanting to watch infinite shows; if only the essence is immortal, then maybe its true desire is to end the shows altogether—or rather, to strip away everything that isn't an essential part of it.
Think about it: if love is the fundamental core of every being, perhaps it *is* the essence itself. Everything that doesn't belong to that love would just be a temporary performance, lasting only as long as the essence continues to reject it as something that isn't true love.
The essence simply refuses to be fooled.
So what's left, if every single performance is ultimately destined to die?
I guess all that's left is to hunt for your own essence. To let the various versions of yourself die off while you're still living. To maybe, just maybe, find oneself face-to-face with that which has no face, no age, and no name. To stay as close to that—to oneself—as possible, breathing in rhythm with the universe.
I don't know. All I know is that dying isn't anything new, and neither is living.
p.s. Or is it actually the exact opposite?
Actually, looking back at what I just wrote, it feels like this whole thought process is just another form of an essence that is constantly shifting. Just like life reshapes itself into death, and death back into life (?). I suppose nothing can exist without the other.