First impressions

Dolores said:I can't stand people who judge someone based on a first impression.😉
Maybe they're pulling back because they can't keep up the act or be vulnerable anymore.
Those are just social chameleons doing whatever the crowd expects, but let's be real—you can't fake it forever.😉
There could be a thousand different reasons. Shame, family drama, relationship issues, kids... who actually knows?😉

Spot on.
For instance, when I’m meeting someone new, I usually come off as cold, standoffish, maybe even a little stuck-up. But honestly? Once I settle in, I'm incredibly talkative,
super upbeat—I just need a second to read the room before I really dive in.😬

gentlelynx26 said:have you guys ever met someone who seems totally awesome at first, but then they just get weird and start ghosting you?

any idea why some people act like that?

thx 😘

I mean, maybe they're just super friendly with everyone initially, but once they actually get to know someone and realize that person is a total jerk (like, seriously, a complete tool), they just shut down.

Jesse Sullivan2 said:Sure, someone might be open to meeting anyone at first, but once they actually get to know a total jerk, they’re obviously going to shut down.

I don't know, I wouldn't go that far...
They probably just closed off because they want to distance themselves from that person or because they're driving them crazy.
😉

ruggedharbor95 said:I don't know, I wouldn't really go that far, you know..
Maybe they just shut down because they're trying to distance themselves from that person, or maybe the person is just getting on their last nerve..
😉

Man, what did I even say?!

The big shot said:says:
I mean, what did I even say?!

Oh, right. My bad. I just skimmed past the post and totally missed the point. You're spot on, 😬 👍

Are you a girl?
Drop your number in my DMs!

The big shot said:says:
Are you even a woman?
DM me your number!

Look, I don't know how old you actually are, but I wouldn't want to put you in a position where you end up behind bars just because you were busy hooking up with a minor.😬

I might just go for it...😬

naomi said:Finally!!! 🙏

You're honestly the only one who totally gets what I'm going through😢...I have plenty of acquaintances and I always shine at first, but my issue is that after a while, I unintentionally create this countereffect. Plus, when I spend all my time on just one person, I feel like I'm missing out on everything else. But right now, I'm in a long-term relationship and I have a few really great friends who actually put in the effort, and I don't want to lose them. Those other people I feel the need to impress? They aren't even worth it...

Just give me some advice, seriously, I'll take anything 😁

It’s true that you're missing out on things. We all miss out on a lot in this life. Sometimes things are forced on us, and sometimes we're just to blame ourselves.
The important thing is that you already have what matters: self-belief. You're right about that; you have a lot of value. Honestly, it's normal. If we all focused on ourselves first and got our own lives in order, life would be better for everyone. This means we should always prioritize working on ourselves first. As for how others treat you, that part is actually easy. Your behavior toward them basically controls how they act toward you. If you act the way you want them to act, you'll see results. They say kind words can open iron doors for a reason. To avoid getting exhausted by it, just develop a standard way of treating people: show genuine interest in their problems and praise their solutions. You'll win 100% of the time because, let's face it, everyone loves talking about themselves. Just be there for them.
You'll end up with a million real friends that way. It's pretty easy. Even if they're wrong, maybe offer a tiny correction if they let you jump in—if not, just let them be right. Make the lives of those close to you better just by being around, and you'll feel better too. That's basically your mission. If you do that, people will accept you sincerely and warmly. Talk about yourself less; unnecessary chatter isn't good. And don't go around venting about your problems. If you really need to talk about a problem, tell me, and we'll figure it out together. Best wishes to you and your loved ones from a good person...

The big shot said:says:
I'll take my chances...😬

😲
Watch your mouth..😬

South Korea said:It’s true that you miss things. We all do. Sometimes life forces stuff on us, and sometimes we’re just the ones to blame.
Look, the main thing is that you already have what matters: self-belief. You’re right about that, and you’ve got value. Honestly, if everyone just focused on fixing themselves first, society would actually function better. It starts with you. As for getting people to like you? That’s easy. Your behavior dictates how they treat you. If you want them to act a certain way, act that way toward them. They say kind words can open iron doors, and it's true. Don't overcomplicate it—just develop a habit of being high-quality. Show genuine interest in their problems and give them credit for their solutions. People are narcissists; they love talking about themselves, so just be there to listen.
You'll make a million real friends that way. Let them think they're right—unless they let you weigh in, then give a tiny correction. Just make the lives of those around you better by being there. That's your mission. If you do that, people will accept you sincerely. Stop talking about yourself so much; it’s unnecessary. And don't vent about your problems to everyone. If you really need to unload, tell me, and we'll tackle it together. Best to you and your family from someone who cares...

thanks for the reply, cheers to you too 😉

It’s really unwise to judge someone based solely on a first impression... you often end up feeling let down... though, of course, it can work out quite the opposite way too... sometimes a person might not strike you as particularly likable at first glance, yet they turn out to be a truly wonderful soul... I actually experienced this myself just a few days ago when I crossed paths with someone new...

SOUTH KOREA said:First impressions? If someone works hard to leave a good one, my take is they’re usually just highly educated types playing a part. They intentionally craft this persona to feed their own ego, acting like they're experts on everything. It’s how they build their own legend. They spend years chasing that sense of importance, constantly moving on to find a new audience or follower rather than sticking around and wasting precious time with just one person. You can't change that behavior from the outside—it actually backfires. They aren't being self-absorbed; they're just always looking for the next person to impress.......ps. they don't pull inward, they just pivot to someone new......

Man, that was a struggle to read. The punctuation, the word order, and the fact that it's just one massive run-on sentence...

Agnetha said:It’s become quite common among young people today. They lack sufficient self-confidence, so after just a second meeting, they start dodging future hangouts because they've already convinced themselves they won't fit in or that the group isn't "their kind of people."

[QUOTE="gentlelynx26, post: 34725, member: 5588"][QUOTE
It’s become such a common thing with kids these days. They just don't have the confidence. After maybe one or two hangouts, they start ghosting everyone because they're already convinced they won't fit in or that the group isn't "their vibe." It's pure insecurity.

🤣 🤣 🤣

What exactly is supposed to be funny here? The text is perfectly accurate, and the woman is a licensed psychologist...[/QUOTE]

gentlelynx26 said:Have you ever met someone who seems absolutely perfect at first, only to turn weird and start ghosting you out of nowhere?

Why do you think some people act like that?

thx 😘

First impressions are hit-or-miss most of the time—unless you've spent years dealing with all sorts of personalities and can practically read people like an open book.
A "great" first impression is usually just two people vibing well during that initial assessment phase, or—more often than not—someone playing a social role exceptionally well. Some people are just masters at crafting an image to project to the world (kind of like what the OP is experiencing), while others might be naturally shy or introverted but feel forced to perform a certain way for work or basic social etiquette. Eventually, that mask slips, and the "pulling away" happens because their true, much quieter self is finally surfacing.

Take, for example, a high-energy, hilarious late-night talk show host who is actually totally reserved and quiet in his private life.
Moving from a casual acquaintance or a professional setting into a deeper friendship or something more intimate can trigger those underlying traits—traits that are vastly different from the persona they have to maintain for their job or social standing.