How much does your environment actually shape your personality?

Busta said:Old-school parenting is still the gold standard, if you ask me.

But what does "old-school" actually look like to you?
Are we talking about breaking a kid's spirit through mental or physical toughness?
What's the deal?

Look, I’m definitely not claiming to be some kind of PhD expert here, but I honestly think when we talk about "masculine" versus "feminine" influence, it isn't strictly tied to whether the person doing the influencing is a man or a woman. It’s more about the actual "flavor" or energy behind the influence itself. A mother can absolutely exert a "masculine" type of influence on her child, and a father can be just as "feminine," and vice versa. I really hope that makes sense and captures what I was getting at. 🙂

Sprague said:Does anyone actually know what the experts are saying lately about the best environment for raising kids and shaping their personalities?😕 Specifically regarding the immediate family dynamic? Can someone break down the actual science for me, but like, in plain English for a total amateur?

Look, we’re living in a society that’s basically having a massive breakdown right now.
The father figure just isn't playing a role anymore.
Basically, the whole system is set up so that once a kid is born, the dad just exits the picture. That's how a theology professor put it—and honestly, the guy sounds like he knows his stuff.
That’s why you see so many kids acting entitled or just being straight-up disrespectful.

A kid needs both a mother and a father.
One doesn't work without the other.

Exactly. We just don't see that same level of quality parenting that used to be the standard. Family bonds have become so much more fragile.
The old traditions? They’re fading fast.
In a perfect world, you'd always have both a mother and a father present, but let's be real—today, parents are drowning in financial stress, dealing with toxic relationships, and letting the TV act as a surrogate babysitter... plus, the pace of life in the US is just relentless. It didn't happen overnight, but you can clearly see things slowly slipping out of control.
When kids are tiny, you have to actually talk to them. You need to listen to them and show them what emotions look like.
Parents make mistakes—they're just humans too, after all, and they were raised by people who likely made the same errors. You have to invest in your kids and actually *be* a role model, rather than preaching one thing and doing the exact opposite.
Because of these shallow connections and poor upbringing, a lot of young people jump into marriage just to escape their homes, or they enter it because they're insecure or just completely lost.
Marriage doesn't feel like a natural progression anymore; it feels like something being forced upon us...
I have a few friends with twenty-two-year-old kids, and honestly, both of them were totally failed by their circumstances. One friend married a girl he’d only known for three months, and shortly after, they decided to have kids simply because they said, "We just love babies."...
It was completely reckless, especially with zero financial stability in place...
That happens because they never had a solid foundation growing up. Of course, no one has perfect parents, so it's not solely about how you were raised... but society plays a huge role in shaping a personality—your environment, your neighborhood, the streets you walk on matters.
You practically need a PhD in psychology just to develop without crippling complexes when you're growing up in an environment like that.😉...
And look, the brain stays plastic throughout your entire life. Just because you had a rough childhood doesn't mean you're a lost cause... time has a way of healing everything eventually.😉