How do you deal with your demons?

I’m particularly interested in those people who start making noise right when the connection drops...

What are you even talking about?
Explain what you mean by "while we were dating."
Give me an example.

For instance, jealousy...

Are you talking about actual thoughts, or just that constant swarm of intrusive ones? 🙂 The kind that make it feel like you can't even catch your breath?

Honestly, I’ve just learned how to toss them out. Any thought that isn't serving me, I just... ignore it. 🙂
The other option, though? Just hitting the gym and letting someone absolutely wreck me in a sparring session—that works just as damn well. 👍

So, what's actually eating at you? 😁

Tinchi said:Are you talking about thoughts... those intrusive ones that just won't quit? 🙂 The kind that make it hard to catch your breath?

I've learned how to just toss them aside... any thought that isn't serving me—I just shut it out. 🙂
Another option? Heading down to the local boxing gym and letting someone hit me. Works wonders too... 👍

That’s exactly what I mean. 🙂

I actually just went through a breakup recently, so I've been trying to clear out all my own internal demons.

In my opinion, just consciously ignoring things isn't exactly the gold standard for a solution. Since these dark thoughts come from the subconscious, that's where the actual work needs to happen. To me, willfully ignoring problems feels like nothing more than sweeping dust under a rug...

I don't know how much luck you're having with that "ignoring" method. For me... unfortunately... it doesn't cut it. Every time I try to ignore it, it seems fine at first, but then the whole thing just keeps coming back, over and over. And I have this nagging feeling I'm just pushing everything deeper and deeper inside. So, right after the breakup, I decided to stop dodging it and started facing my shadows head-on immediately.

Do you remember that old Gorillaz track? I can't quite put my finger on the title, but there’s this music video where they're fighting these monsters, and then everything just turns to dust after one of them says, "it's all in your head," and the guy just stares them down...

I guess you just have to face them. You have to call them out, name them, and then deal with them. Once you do, they turn out to be nothing much at all, really.

It would be absolutely mind-blowing if my local dive bars could actually solve my nightmares!🙂 👍

So, what’s actually eating at you? What kind of dark clouds are we talking about regarding that ex? Is it the whole moving-on thing? Honestly—you can't exactly rush through that—some things just take time to process

I can't help but feel like nobody in this entire place actually gets what I'm talking about yet...

Shine a light on your subconscious!

If you think the post above is being vague, just imagine how your question looks to us.

What, you want me to just read your mind? Just say the word and we'll put you on trial then.

a-ha, so you're just bitter because she can finally focus on other characters now? yeah—can't help you there. Once it's done...

It’s honestly pathetic that you all don't get it... though, I suppose it doesn't even matter if you ever do... you lot are just going to keep listening to whatever scraps of information are thrown your way... that isn't what I'm actually asking you... if this isn't clicking, maybe try actually reading the thread from the very beginning if you're that lost :P

Lisa Palmer5 said:I'm particularly interested in those who reach out while they're currently in a relationship...

Are you referring to those dark thoughts that creep in while you're in a relationship?
Are you asking if people deal with them privately or share them with their partner?

Lisa Palmer5, try making this thread a bit more constructive or I’m moving over to Lonely Heart. I can't exactly read minds, can I? Besides, I hear people on the US forums are actually decent at offering comfort after a breakup.

silvermason16 said:Are you talking about those "dark thoughts" that start creeping in while you're actually in a relationship?
Do you think people usually deal with that stuff internally, or is it something they actually open up about with their partner?

I was just asking in general terms... though, I suppose that could be one way to look at it...
Have you actually dealt with this before?

To me, it doesn't feel like a smart move... you can't exactly step into the role of being your partner's therapist, if you know what I mean!🙂

Madwoman said:Lisa Palmer5, try making this thread a bit more constructive or I’m moving over to Lonely Heart. It’s not like I can read minds, but I hear people on Lonely Heart actually know how to comfort someone after a breakup.

My psychology professor is basically forcing my hand to make this a "constructive" discussion...

Look, if nobody gets what I'm getting at, just clear it out. Don't drag it over to Lonely Heart because this isn't the right venue for that kind of thing. And it's not like I'm heartbroken... I'm just in a stage of clearing out the wreckage... but I am interested in hearing how others handled it...

laki said:i was just asking generally... and that could definitely be one way to go about it...
Do you actually have experience with that?
Doesn't seem like a smart move to me... you can't act as your partner's therapist, if you know what I mean!🙂

You don't need to play therapist to your partner; there are actual professionals you pay for that. A partner should just be—a PARTNER.😉