Living on the fringes: Life with a diagnosis

Alright, my dear friends...
I’ve been hanging around this forum for about two years now, and honestly, I don't think I've ever seen a thread quite like this one.
I’m starting this because I want anyone dealing with a mental health diagnosis—or even just those struggling with stuff they haven't officially labeled yet—to finally have a place to speak up. This isn't just for people under the strict supervision of some doctor at the Mayo Clinic; it’s for the folks who are out there fighting their own battles solo, trying to make sense of their own heads and just wanting to live a decent, quality life.
Why am I doing this? Because let’s be real—society is usually pretty terrible toward people in this situation, and that stigma just makes everything ten times harder. Sometimes you can't even find a shred of empathy or warmth from your own family back home.

So, what's on your mind? How are you actually doing? How do you deal with those inner demons when things get heavy?

The real question is, who even qualifies as "normal" anymore?
If you actually take a second to look around and use your head, you'll see everyone is walking around with their own set of quirks. What seems perfectly fine to one person is totally unhinged to someone else.😁

I’m right there with you, Jerry Moore2—because honestly, what even counts as "normal" anymore?! But let’s be real, there are people out there who just struggle to exist, people who are constantly battling themselves, and their whole "inner world" can feel like straight-up hell.
"Normal" isn't actually a thing. It’s just a label for what society finds acceptable. If I saw someone literally bashing their head against a wall, I’d probably just offer them some empathy and a kind word, but there are plenty of people—and I mean a ton—who would just stand there and laugh at them instead.
Obviously, the whole "banging your head against a wall" thing is just a bit of an exaggeration on my part. What I really mean is those certain habits and behaviors people exhibit in a society that’s totally intolerant, lacking any real sense of understanding or compassion.

I live with anxiety. The only people who actually get it are my older relatives—they have more sense than most, I guess—my best friend, and my ex-boyfriend.
It isn’t even that I'm embarrassed to tell someone else; I just don't see the point. Out of all the people I know, I'm closer to some and distant from others, but I've never really felt anyone being completely honest or open with me, so why should I bother doing that for them? Besides, most people don't even understand what anxiety is, which just highlights how clueless society can be, considering it's one of the most common issues out there alongside depression. Honestly, I just can't be bothered to explain myself to anyone.

I guess I fall into that category of people labeled as "unstable." At 32, I’m still living at home with my parents. To be honest, I haven't even started looking for work yet because I haven't quite recovered from the burnout of dealing with people. I’ve just been sitting at home for over two years now, trying to find some peace and quiet for my nerves.

electricowl7 said:I’m one of those "broken" ones. I'm 32 and still living with my parents. I haven't even looked for work because honestly, I haven't recovered from dealing with people yet. I've just been sitting at home for over two years trying to get my nerves back in order.

Hey, whatever works for you! If you had nothing to eat, you wouldn't be sitting there.
But are you sure this isn't just plain old laziness?

My girlfriend’s been through the ringer with shifting diagnoses over the last 20 years. It’s been everything... she’s dealt with some seriously nasty stuff from family, friends, and even psychiatrists. Her last attempt at getting off the pills didn't go well either. She was in a bad way—shaking, crying, screaming, mood swings were all over the place... just awful. Right now she’s on two meds, but she was up to three recently. Honestly, you just read the side effects and feel sick to your stomach. After 20 years, she finally sees certain family members for who they really are. Her inner circle doesn't care about her diagnosis, and honestly, everyone else doesn't matter. The main thing is watching yourself and how you react to things, then actually valuing those reactions. Like, how am I feeling before versus after? How can I build up my self-esteem? She hasn't been hospitalized in about ten years, and that's entirely because of her own strength. It feels like expecting "society" or any "institution" to be more sensitive toward current, past, or future "patients" is just wishful thinking. I once talked to a guy in a high-level government position—someone responsible directly to Congress—and he told me there's just no helping someone stuck in a locked ward when the psychiatrists have already written them off. Doesn't matter if they're smart, young, beautiful, kind, or sensitive... people just toss those "weak" labels at them because that's what modern society does. I don't even listen to the nonsense about "what's actually normal" anymore. That's just babble from people who haven't thought about it. Same goes for the people whining about "laziness" and stuff like that. They've never had 500mg of Lexapro in their system, let alone been strapped into a straitjacket in a psych ward... especially not all at once.

http://psychologyblog.com/

It’s all relative, really. I don't have an official diagnosis or anything—I'm just wired differently than most people—so I constantly run into folks who think I'm "weird," "socially awkward," or just living in my own little world... Who cares? Just accept that you're a bit more complex than the average person.

Normalcy is nothing more than an escapist's paradise—mostly because it’s just a well-established routine.
The concept—clean and simple.
It’s better—if we have the choice—to stand alone.
And yet, we all feel perfectly normal.
In all their abnormalities—doing nothing at all.
Not much to say about that—except for this one thing.
What does it actually take to be? — A question far too heavy for a single thought.
Just be who you are.

G. Howe

Joseph Miller85 said:My girlfriend’s diagnoses have shifted several times over the last 20 years. It’s been everything under the sun. She’s dealt with horrific treatment from family, friends, and psychiatrists alike. Her most recent attempt to taper off meds was a disaster—she was shaking, crying, screaming, and swinging through massive mood shifts. It was brutal. Right now she’s on two medications, though she was recently on three. You only have to read the side effects to realize how terrifying it is. After two decades, she finally understands which parts of her family are worth listening to. Her inner circle doesn't care about her diagnosis, and honestly, everyone else is irrelevant. The key is watching your own reactions and evaluating them—how you feel before and after those episodes. That’s how you build actual self-confidence. She hasn't been hospitalized in ten years, and she owes that entirely to herself. I’ve come to realize that expecting "society" or any major "institution" to be more sensitive toward current or former patients is just wishful thinking. When I spoke with a high-ranking government official—someone answerable only to Congress—he told me straight up: there is absolutely nothing you can do for someone locked in a psychiatric ward who has already been labeled a "lost cause" by doctors. It doesn't matter if they are brilliant, young, beautiful, or kind; the system just labels them as "weak" by modern standards. I don't listen to any of that nonsense about "what is actually normal." That’s just chatter from people who haven't thought about it. Same goes for those whining about "laziness." They’ve never sat there with 500mg of Lexapro in their system, let alone been strapped into a straitjacket in a locked ward.

What’s her specific diagnosis or disorder? And how do you even manage to stay with her? I know I couldn't handle being with someone struggling with mental illness because I think it would ruin my life too, so I'm curious how you deal with it all...

restlessseal16 said:Everything's relative, right? I don't have a formal diagnosis or anything, but I’m definitely wired differently than most "normal" folks—so I end up being labeled as "weird," "out of touch," or just "living in their own little world" pretty often... Who cares? Just accept that you're a bit more complex than the average person.

You call that special? 😬 Pretty sure there's plenty of us hanging out on this forum alone. 😍

Jerry Moore2 said:You can't argue with that! If you didn't have food, you wouldn't be here.
I mean, are we sure this isn't just plain old laziness?

I guess I agree.

@ Jerry Moore2 and Kyle Nelson2

It’s just so lovely, isn't it? Being absolutely wonderful and having the nerve to sit there and judge everyone else—how charming! 🙄 ... honestly, though, especially when you haven't even bothered to look at the context of what's actually happening, which, if we're being real, shouldn't even be your business to begin with...

Look, first things first—every single day is its own beast. That’s just common sense, really, but when you're "special," you actually feel that weight in your bones every morning.
In my experience—and this is just a gut feeling—about 98% of people don't have the slightest clue how to deal with someone who's genuinely struggling with their own mind.

You’ve got to maintain a certain level of awareness, maybe even with the help of some meds, to stay afloat. You need that "optimistic" headspace. Because if we let ourselves slip... well, heaven help us. I mean, if all the idiots out there get to wander around this world unchecked, then I guess "we" have a right to be a mess too, right? What's the difference?

Sure, things are a lot harder for "us"—it’s a struggle just to exist among this massive sea of the uneducated—but that just makes any small win feel like a massive victory. Besides, let’s be real: we aren't saints. We can be pretty ignorant too, especially toward people dealing with the exact same stuff we are, and we won't even realize we're doing it! Mental illness is just unbalanced brain chemistry. Just like humans can build insane things—climbing skyscrapers without ropes, jumping from heights that would make an animal pass out, or even killing each other with terrifyingly professional precision—you can also "build" or develop an imbalance in your "brain muscle."

Stay sharp, Brothers and sisters!

Carol King2 said:You think we're a rare breed? 😬 I'd say there's plenty of us hanging out on this forum. 😍

Thanks, thanks—I guess you could call it that.🙂

Kudos on starting this thread, Steven Collins38 😍

I consider myself just another dysfunctional soul juggling a handful of diagnoses. It honestly feels like I’ve signed a lifetime contract to spend every waking moment sliding into depression. If only I could actually dedicate my life to something more intellectually stimulating 🙄

Anyway, hang in there, everyone

Give this book called Kundalini a shot.
Some American woman, a philosopher, wrote it.
Might actually help you out!

Thanks, Paul Ramirez85,

It sounds reasonable enough, though I have to admit I’m feeling a bit apprehensive about diving headfirst into spirituality. There's this nagging fear that if I start poking around, I might actually screw something up—you know, stir up the wrong kind of ghosts or mess with energies I don't understand 😈 and all that nonsense. Beyond that, I spend most of my time being a pretty hardline atheist; I've never had much patience for any of that mystical fluff 😁. I'm genuinely torn on whether I should even bother exploring these Eastern philosophies. Honestly, I can't stand how it always seems to boil down to just picking a side in some endless religious tug-of-war 🙄

It’s honestly exhausting trying to stay "awake" every single second of the day! I've started noticing that I just kind of... drift off—mentally, anyway—whenever I'm actually getting stuff done!

Man, I really thought this thread would blow up more than it did! What happened? Did everyone suddenly become perfectly well-adjusted overnight or something?!?!?! It’s always the same thing at first—everyone’s all over the place shouting "I have this" and "I have that"—and then, boom, total radio silence. Like everyone’s living in some flawless, utopian version of America where everything just makes sense... Come on, guys, just open up a little. Seriously, it’s way easier once you start talking, and we could actually learn from each other's stories! Or am I just shouting into the void here?