The Waiting Game

I know that feeling all too well—honestly, I’m right in the middle of it as we speak... It feels like such a silly reason to be upset, yet it’s so incredibly obvious. Just this heavy, lovesick melancholy, waiting for this guy to finally show up so we can hang out, and then... well, who knows? Maybe I'll finally realize there's more to us than just being friends. It's just that overwhelming sense of UNCERTAINTY.
P.S. — I realize this example is pretty trivial, and I apologize if it's a bit much, but there it is...

frozenangler9 said:Why does waiting sometimes feel like such an exhausting, Herculean task? 🙄

1) Because you haven't quite realized that waiting is actually its own kind of action. 😉

and

2) Because you don't truly know who you are deep down. 😉

hiddenpuma75 said:1) because you don't get that waiting is actually a type of action itself. 😉

2) because you don't really know who you ARE, deep down. 😉

I get it, I get it—but honestly, most days I just don't have the mental stamina for that kind of passive playing. 😁

What I’m actually getting at is something else.

When you can't stand sitting around waiting for things to play out, yet you actually *do* have the power to step in and influence the outcome—even if it's totally unpredictable due to the sheer uncertainty 😁 ... how are you supposed to act?

Do you just sit there and do nothing, or do you make a move?
And how do you even decide when to hold off versus when to jump in, especially when everything feels completely out of your control?

Does that make more sense? Am I being clearer now? 😉

Whether she actually did something to you or not, things are simply going to unfold exactly as they are destined to. We are all just reaping the consequences of our past actions and thoughts right now; everything is already written in stone.

It’s nothing more than a human delusion to think we can exert immediate influence over the universe, when in reality, we are powerless. Fate will take its course, plain and simple.

That being said, when you're dealing with that gut-wrenching feeling that just tears you apart... I honestly believe it’s better to take action. At the very least, you can tell yourself you did "everything in your power," which offers a bit of mental peace. Of course, that really depends on the specifics of the situation at hand.

frozenangler9 said:Should I just sit tight and wait, or actually get moving on something?

Honestly, no matter what you choose, you’re probably going to end up second-guessing yourself anyway... 😁

Jack Harris3 said:Whatever you end up doing, you're gonna regret it eventually. 😁

👍 And honestly, it goes even deeper than that... I mean, whatever you do, you're probably just gonna mess up anyway. 😈

You pick up everything from life and experience... if you want, just tell me exactly what's eating at you... maybe we can actually offer some advice.
Patience is something you have to learn. It’s a major skill, really. You have to practice it. 🙂

frozenangler9 said:Do you sit tight and wait, or do you actually make a move?
And how are you supposed to know when to hold off versus when to act, especially when you're dealing with things completely out of your control?

Did I make my point a little clearer that time? 😉

When it feels like time to wait, wait. When it feels like time to act, act.👍

Jamie Newman4 says:

When the moment hits, just wait. When it’s ready, move!

Yeah, totally. From what I've seen, rushing things is usually a disaster—just a total mess. You can't force stuff to happen. Everything has its own little "cooking time," you know?
Sometimes you just have to let the circumstances ripen, and honestly, even the stuff going on inside us needs some breathing room...
Usually, everything just falls into place right when we stop obsessing over it...
It rarely works out when we're all panicked and sweating it out.

rapidskipper9 said:👍 Plus, let’s be real—no matter what you do, you're going to mess up somewhere. 😈

Just pick a number at random and I bet you'll get it wrong!
(Copyright Hugo and Dolly Parton)

Elizabeth Miller8 said:Look, did she actually do something to you or not? It’s all just fate playing out exactly how it’s supposed to... we're all just dealing with the fallout from things we said or thought way back when, so everything is already written in stone.

Just point me to ONE SINGLE PERSON who is actually suffering for something they did, and then maybe I'll start believing this nonsense!?
And what even counts as "suffering" in this ridiculous logic of yours?

🙄

rapidskipper9 said:👍 And let's be real. No matter what you try, you're gonna screw up. 😈

I'd rather mess up by actually doing something than just sit there
(being lazy, waiting around, staring at the axe...)
doing nothing.

That's basically my life motto.😛

frozenangler9 said:I totally get it, I really do, but honestly? Most days I just don't have the mental stamina to sit there and be passive. 😁

But there's something else on my mind.

When you're just dying to see how things turn out, but you actually *do* have the power to step in and change the outcome—except you can't predict what that outcome will even look like because everything is so up in the air 😁... what do you do then?

Do you just sit tight and do nothing, or do you make a move?
And how do you even decide when to wait and when to jump in, especially when you can't see what's coming next?

Does that make more sense? Like, did I finally get my point across? 😉

It sounds like we're talking about a situation where there isn't some universal rulebook you can just follow. Every single time is different. It all comes down to your own gut instinct and judgment. And honestly, it feels like that judgment doesn't just come from your head, but from your whole being.

Even if this sounds super deep or maybe even a little cheesy, I still feel like there's no better way to look at it if you take it to heart (literally—your heart is your core):

"Examine every path with care and intention. Walk it as many times as you need to. Then, in the quiet of your own soul, ask yourself just one thing: Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is worth taking; if it doesn't, it's a waste of time."

Castaneda, obviously.

frozenangler9 said:I get it, I really do, but most days I just don't have the mental stamina for that kind of passive waiting. 😁

There’s actually something else on my mind.

When you lack the patience to sit around and wait for a result, yet you actually have the power to step in and influence that outcome—even if the whole thing is totally unpredictable 😁... how are you supposed to handle that?

Do you just sit tight and do nothing, or do you take action?
And how do you even decide when to hold off and when to move, especially when you can't possibly predict what's coming next?

Maybe I've finally made my point clearer. 😉

I guess mental strength doesn't even matter here... you can't just force it through sheer willpower. It's more about having faith that the outcome will be what needs to happen... though that isn't always what you actually want.
If you have the chance to act but you're terrified of the consequences, I suppose you just end up deciding based on gut feeling.
The choice is ours, I guess... sometimes you stay still and miss out, or you jump in and mess up... or maybe it's the other way around. If you're being realistic and you truly can't gauge the outcome of your actions, then you can't really fail.
The only real issue is patience... waiting for the unknown to become known... and even then, mental effort doesn't help much. It's more about understanding the situation and finding peace in knowing you made a call based on who you are and what you could actually do at the time. So, there aren't really any mistakes... which means there's no such thing as regret. 🙄 🙂

Diego said:Pick any number at random, and you're guaranteed to be wrong!
(Property of Hugo and Helena)

That isn't how this works. It’s more like this:

OH, pick ONE SINGLE NUMBEEERRR and you'll CERTAINLY be wrrrong, Google 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Light said:You know, I feel like... there aren't even any mistakes here... which means there's nothing to regret.🙄 🙂

My take? You always end up regretting stuff, because you could've done better. On the flip side, I always regret the things I didn't do way more than the things I actually did.

nobody and nothing said:Look, we’re clearly dealing with a situation where there isn't some universal rulebook you can just pull off the shelf and apply. It all comes down to how you handle each individual mess as it hits you. And honestly? I don't think that kind of judgment comes from just your brain—it's gotta come from your whole damn being.

Let me put what you said into my own words:

Life is full of problems, and let's be real, they aren't going anywhere. What actually sets us apart is exactly how we deal with them. 🙂

Svjetlosna says:

You know, I’m starting to think all that "mental muscle" stuff doesn't really amount to much... you can't just force it through sheer willpower... it's more about having that gut trust that things will turn out how they need to... (even if what actually happens isn't exactly what you were wishing for, you know?)

Exactly!👍